Consuming The Celestial

Jokerp blog for Rheal, Priyon, and Azaziel

[consuming-the-celestial]

whats it like having 2 priyons? double the bullying?

Well, Rheal prefers the paper Priyon over the real deal, so he’s getting pampered. Im stuck with a Priyon that freezes whenever tiny him shows up.

At least they havent put everything in crystals…

[narratorapricot]

[A tiny Apricot pops out of Azaziel’s hair.]

I wanna get pampered! >:(

Also, check your pockets.

[She teleports off to go pretend she’s a paper Apricot.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Azaziel would pause for a moment, soon checking his pockets.]

[Rheal is just giving paper Priyon a lot of love, creating little paper clothing for the animate paper.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

whats it like having 2 priyons? double the bullying?

Well, Rheal prefers the paper Priyon over the real deal, so he’s getting pampered. Im stuck with a Priyon that freezes whenever tiny him shows up.

At least they havent put everything in crystals...

[consuming-the-celestial]

[A piece of paper has been taped to Priyon’s back with the words “draw on this paper - apricot” written on it.]

[Priyon doesn’t notice the paper until Azaziel takes it off his back.]

Hm.

What, zaz?

[Azaziel would summon a quill and ink, soon doodling a mini Priyon with the space left by the writing.]

...You got intrest in me or something?

Priyon, kindly shut up.

[narratorapricot]

[The Priyon doodle suddenly pops off the paper and clings to the real Priyon.]

[You now have 2 Priyons. One is more throwable than the other.]

[MiniPriyon squeaks like a chew toy.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Azaziel would chuckle at the miniPriyon as the real Priyon freezes like there’s a spider on the floor he just noticed.]

Whattheheckwhattheheckwhattheheck—

Ah, a suitable replacement for you.

aaaaaAAAAAAAAA—

[narratorapricot]

[A MiniApricot, probably drawn before the paper was taped, pops out of Priyon’s hair.]

[MiniPriyon climbs up next to MiniApricot and just chills there.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Azaziel scoops the minis up into his hand to get a better look of them and to stop Priyon from constantly screaming like a child.]

Fascinating...

therE’S TWO OF THEM???

[consuming-the-celestial]

[A piece of paper has been taped to Priyon’s back with the words “draw on this paper - apricot” written on it.]

[Priyon doesn’t notice the paper until Azaziel takes it off his back.]

Hm.

What, zaz?

[Azaziel would summon a quill and ink, soon doodling a mini Priyon with the space left by the writing.]

...You got intrest in me or something?

Priyon, kindly shut up.

[narratorapricot]

[The Priyon doodle suddenly pops off the paper and clings to the real Priyon.]

[You now have 2 Priyons. One is more throwable than the other.]

[MiniPriyon squeaks like a chew toy.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Azaziel would chuckle at the miniPriyon as the real Priyon freezes like there’s a spider on the floor he just noticed.]

Whattheheckwhattheheckwhattheheck—

Ah, a suitable replacement for you.

aaaaaAAAAAAAAA—

[consuming-the-celestial]

[A piece of paper has been taped to Priyon’s back with the words “draw on this paper - apricot” written on it.]

[Priyon doesn’t notice the paper until Azaziel takes it off his back.]

Hm.

What, zaz?

[Azaziel would summon a quill and ink, soon doodling a mini Priyon with the space left by the writing.]

...You got intrest in me or something?

Priyon, kindly shut up.

[consuming-the-celestial]

@rheal i borrowed one of your dresses, i'm being forced on a date with an eldritch entity. help (and also can i have some advice) - apricot

U h m.

Compliment their appearance??? I don’t know honestly the only eldritch horror i dated was priyon.

I— heeeey :(

[narratorapricot]

[A phone that Apricot probably slipped into Priyon’s pockets (or just his hair, somehow, if he has none) comes on speaker.]

I’m not calling a suit of armor in a chainmail dress cute.

…

Okay, maybe. Any more advice?

[consuming-the-celestial]

Hm. Maybe compliment how the armor is polished? Or is that comparing it to skin… In any case, strike up a conversation about what they might like? Like… swords?

[Priyon would pull out the phone from his inside pocket. Shrugging, he would place the phone onto a table.]

No idea how you managed to slip that into my vest pocket, heh.

[narratorapricot]

I manage to do a lot of things.

Anyway, I think our date’s over. I’m stuck sitting at a table with someone who belongs to the Church of Bullying Priyon, the eldritch cutie, and a dude with a TV instead of a head.

Want me to put you guys on speakerphone so we can all make fun of you guys together?

[consuming-the-celestial]

No–

Sure, go ahead. Make fun of Priyon mostly, though.

[narratorapricot]

[She can be heard talking to someone else for a moment.]

So, let’s make fun of Priyon, because Rheal is pure and also she’s gonna be pissed if I don’t return her dress in one piece.

[And her attention’s back.]

That sounds disastrous. But also really, really funny.

Yep. We’re on speaker. Say hi to Priyon. And his ex.

EYO!

Yo. Where’d my juice box go?

[A juice box materializes above Priyon and whacks him on the head. The box explodes. Hey, it’s apple juice!]

[Apricot can be heard talking to someone offscreen again.]

You serve vegetable oil at a bar??

[consuming-the-celestial]

A— I think your juice box exploded on my head, dude!!

You deserve it honestly, Priyon.

:(((

[narratorapricot]

My question is, why the hell did you throw a box of that juice, Random??

Anger spike at the obnoxious.

Like Priyon?

No he’s just obnoxious. Not much to get angry about there.

Hey, gimme 20 bucks and I’ll let you take my place there for a day. See what happens.

Nah.

Awww.

What’s it like there, anyway?

Honestly if someone wants to shove him into a washing machine I own, just drag him to the lobby. Just gotta find it between the worlds first.

[consuming-the-celestial]

It’s... chaotic here.

Not as chaotic as MC, honestly. It's nicer here.

You've just gotten numb to the chaos that goes on here because of the chaos that happened in the MC.

[Priyon would laugh in response to Rheal.]

Fair!

[consuming-the-celestial]

@rheal i borrowed one of your dresses, i'm being forced on a date with an eldritch entity. help (and also can i have some advice) - apricot

U h m.

Compliment their appearance??? I don’t know honestly the only eldritch horror i dated was priyon.

I— heeeey :(

[narratorapricot]

[A phone that Apricot probably slipped into Priyon’s pockets (or just his hair, somehow, if he has none) comes on speaker.]

I’m not calling a suit of armor in a chainmail dress cute.

…

Okay, maybe. Any more advice?

[consuming-the-celestial]

Hm. Maybe compliment how the armor is polished? Or is that comparing it to skin… In any case, strike up a conversation about what they might like? Like… swords?

[Priyon would pull out the phone from his inside pocket. Shrugging, he would place the phone onto a table.]

No idea how you managed to slip that into my vest pocket, heh.

[narratorapricot]

I manage to do a lot of things.

Anyway, I think our date’s over. I’m stuck sitting at a table with someone who belongs to the Church of Bullying Priyon, the eldritch cutie, and a dude with a TV instead of a head.

Want me to put you guys on speakerphone so we can all make fun of you guys together?

[consuming-the-celestial]

No–

Sure, go ahead. Make fun of Priyon mostly, though.

[narratorapricot]

[She can be heard talking to someone else for a moment.]

So, let’s make fun of Priyon, because Rheal is pure and also she’s gonna be pissed if I don’t return her dress in one piece.

[And her attention’s back.]

That sounds disastrous. But also really, really funny.

Yep. We’re on speaker. Say hi to Priyon. And his ex.

EYO!

Yo. Where’d my juice box go?

[A juice box materializes above Priyon and whacks him on the head. The box explodes. Hey, it’s apple juice!]

[Apricot can be heard talking to someone offscreen again.]

You serve vegetable oil at a bar??

[consuming-the-celestial]

A— I think your juice box exploded on my head, dude!!

You deserve it honestly, Priyon.

:(((

[consuming-the-celestial]

@rheal i borrowed one of your dresses, i'm being forced on a date with an eldritch entity. help (and also can i have some advice) - apricot

U h m.

Compliment their appearance??? I don’t know honestly the only eldritch horror i dated was priyon.

I— heeeey :(

[narratorapricot]

[A phone that Apricot probably slipped into Priyon’s pockets (or just his hair, somehow, if he has none) comes on speaker.]

I’m not calling a suit of armor in a chainmail dress cute.

…

Okay, maybe. Any more advice?

[consuming-the-celestial]

Hm. Maybe compliment how the armor is polished? Or is that comparing it to skin… In any case, strike up a conversation about what they might like? Like… swords?

[Priyon would pull out the phone from his inside pocket. Shrugging, he would place the phone onto a table.]

No idea how you managed to slip that into my vest pocket, heh.

[narratorapricot]

I manage to do a lot of things.

Anyway, I think our date’s over. I’m stuck sitting at a table with someone who belongs to the Church of Bullying Priyon, the eldritch cutie, and a dude with a TV instead of a head.

Want me to put you guys on speakerphone so we can all make fun of you guys together?

[consuming-the-celestial]

No--

Sure, go ahead. Make fun of Priyon mostly, though.

[consuming-the-celestial]

@rheal i borrowed one of your dresses, i'm being forced on a date with an eldritch entity. help (and also can i have some advice) - apricot

U h m.

Compliment their appearance??? I don’t know honestly the only eldritch horror i dated was priyon.

I— heeeey :(

[narratorapricot]

[A phone that Apricot probably slipped into Priyon’s pockets (or just his hair, somehow, if he has none) comes on speaker.]

I’m not calling a suit of armor in a chainmail dress cute.

…

Okay, maybe. Any more advice?

[consuming-the-celestial]

Hm. Maybe compliment how the armor is polished? Or is that comparing it to skin... In any case, strike up a conversation about what they might like? Like... swords?

[Priyon would pull out the phone from his inside pocket. Shrugging, he would place the phone onto a table.]

No idea how you managed to slip that into my vest pocket, heh.

[consuming-the-celestial]

@rheal i borrowed one of your dresses, i'm being forced on a date with an eldritch entity. help (and also can i have some advice) - apricot

U h m.

Compliment their appearance??? I don’t know honestly the only eldritch horror i dated was priyon.

I— heeeey :(

[narratorapricot]

[Apricot opens the door to her house.]

@consuming-the-celestial

You know what day it is?

[consuming-the-celestial]

Today.

[Priyon gets a fan slapped into his face.]

It’s.... Oh stars, what day IS it?!

[Azaziel chuckles.]

4/20.

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Someone has keysmashed onto a letter for the ???th time, but the letters are literally going off the paper.. which is colorchanging depending on how you look at it. You may have gotten a cursed/broken letter.]

[Rheal receives the letter, then casually stares at the camera with an unamused expression. She then proceeds to crumple the letter up and throw it at Priyon.]

Rheal, stop throwing cursed items at me.

No.

[narratorapricot]

[She picks up the letter and throws it at Rheal.]

I taught your adoptive child how to make paper and ink.

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Priyon would laugh while Rheal huffed.]

I honestly have no idea how they managed to write off the page…

Magic!

Shut up, Priyon.

[narratorapricot]

I mean, he’s probably right.

Good to see that you two at least tolerate eachother now, though. Possibly.

[consuming-the-celestial]

Oh, she still hates me. At least she hasn’t mailed me back to MC, heh.

If I knew their location I would, honestly.

[narratorapricot]

I’ll tie you two together and mail you there~

[Is she joking? Possibly.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

Don’t tie me up with him...

[Priyon acts as though he’s emotionally hurt, but would chuckle right after.]

Ouch...

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Someone has keysmashed onto a letter for the ???th time, but the letters are literally going off the paper.. which is colorchanging depending on how you look at it. You may have gotten a cursed/broken letter.]

[Rheal receives the letter, then casually stares at the camera with an unamused expression. She then proceeds to crumple the letter up and throw it at Priyon.]

Rheal, stop throwing cursed items at me.

No.

[narratorapricot]

[She picks up the letter and throws it at Rheal.]

I taught your adoptive child how to make paper and ink.

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Priyon would laugh while Rheal huffed.]

I honestly have no idea how they managed to write off the page…

Magic!

Shut up, Priyon.

[narratorapricot]

I mean, he’s probably right.

Good to see that you two at least tolerate eachother now, though. Possibly.

[consuming-the-celestial]

Oh, she still hates me. At least she hasn’t mailed me back to MC, heh.

If I knew their location I would, honestly.

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Someone has keysmashed onto a letter for the ???th time, but the letters are literally going off the paper.. which is colorchanging depending on how you look at it. You may have gotten a cursed/broken letter.]

[Rheal receives the letter, then casually stares at the camera with an unamused expression. She then proceeds to crumple the letter up and throw it at Priyon.]

Rheal, stop throwing cursed items at me.

No.

[narratorapricot]

[She picks up the letter and throws it at Rheal.]

I taught your adoptive child how to make paper and ink.

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Priyon would laugh while Rheal huffed.]

I honestly have no idea how they managed to write off the page...

Magic!

Shut up, Priyon.

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Someone has keysmashed onto a letter for the ???th time, but the letters are literally going off the paper.. which is colorchanging depending on how you look at it. You may have gotten a cursed/broken letter.]

[Rheal receives the letter, then casually stares at the camera with an unamused expression. She then proceeds to crumple the letter up and throw it at Priyon.]

Rheal, stop throwing cursed items at me.

No.

[consuming-the-celestial]

[The (hopefully not easily recognizable, but who knows with these 3) sound of someone being dragged across the ground can be heard outside.]

[All three hear the dragging, soon walking to the closest window and staring outside to see whats going on.]

...Apricot?

Chor.

Space cat..?

[Well, they have their bets. Fun!]

[amnesiac-star]

[Apricot is dragging a Star up towards the house. The star’s laying face-down on the ground, is probably out cold, and is being dragged by a rope around their chest.]

[Apricot stops and looks at the window.]

I swear to the Gods, I’m going to end up with all three of you on a leash, aren’t I?

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Upon seeing the Star, Azaziel scrambles back out of fright. Rheal and Priyon quickly rush to his side.]

Zaz!

I-Its a star..! A-And I’m a black hole..! I-I just had the worst urge to attack them...

So get you into the bedroom for now, huh?

P-Please...

[Rheal and Priyon would help Azaziel up, taking him to one of the bedrooms in the cabin.]

[amnesiac-star]

[Apricot watches before walking in, throwing the star onto her back and carrying them.]

[She summons an empty cardboard box and dumps the star in, before closing the box and sealing it up.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Rheal and Priyon would exit the room shortly after setting Azaziel down on the bed. They would look to Apricot and the box.]

Apologies...

Wonder how you managed to find that Star... Looked like a high-quality star, probably has a perfect core.

Priyon!

What? I’m just saying.

[amnesiac-star]

They ended up in MC somehow. I’m shipping them somewhere.

Also, how do you even tell the state of the core? Appearance alone?

[She tapes the box up and starts writing an address on it.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

Oh, fun... Wonderful...

Appearance and eye color. Just based on appearance alone, I would have to guess she’s a type F... Not bad for a star.

[amnesiac-star]

Ah.

...I feel like you two are the last person I should be asking, but should I be worried at all? I mean, the whole kidnapping someone and then mailing them to someone else thing.

I know the law is meaningless to me, but is anyone gonna hunt me or whoever gets the star down?

[consuming-the-celestial]

Eh...

As far as we’re aware, no. Just go for it and send the star.

[Priyon gives the thumbs up.]

[narratorapricot]

[She snaps her fingers and teleports the boxed star away.]

I’m.. Gonna go check on Azaziel.

[She teleports into the room he’s in, though invisible and intangible, and watches him.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Azaziel seems to be meditating, trying to get his mind off of the star. He trembles here and there, his new nature as a black hole trying to overpower his will.]

[He just needs to be left alone for a while. He’ll be fine.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

[The (hopefully not easily recognizable, but who knows with these 3) sound of someone being dragged across the ground can be heard outside.]

[All three hear the dragging, soon walking to the closest window and staring outside to see whats going on.]

...Apricot?

Chor.

Space cat..?

[Well, they have their bets. Fun!]

[amnesiac-star]

[Apricot is dragging a Star up towards the house. The star’s laying face-down on the ground, is probably out cold, and is being dragged by a rope around their chest.]

[Apricot stops and looks at the window.]

I swear to the Gods, I’m going to end up with all three of you on a leash, aren’t I?

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Upon seeing the Star, Azaziel scrambles back out of fright. Rheal and Priyon quickly rush to his side.]

Zaz!

I-Its a star..! A-And I’m a black hole..! I-I just had the worst urge to attack them...

So get you into the bedroom for now, huh?

P-Please...

[Rheal and Priyon would help Azaziel up, taking him to one of the bedrooms in the cabin.]

[amnesiac-star]

[Apricot watches before walking in, throwing the star onto her back and carrying them.]

[She summons an empty cardboard box and dumps the star in, before closing the box and sealing it up.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

[Rheal and Priyon would exit the room shortly after setting Azaziel down on the bed. They would look to Apricot and the box.]

Apologies...

Wonder how you managed to find that Star... Looked like a high-quality star, probably has a perfect core.

Priyon!

What? I’m just saying.

[amnesiac-star]

They ended up in MC somehow. I’m shipping them somewhere.

Also, how do you even tell the state of the core? Appearance alone?

[She tapes the box up and starts writing an address on it.]

[consuming-the-celestial]

Oh, fun... Wonderful...

Appearance and eye color. Just based on appearance alone, I would have to guess she’s a type F... Not bad for a star.

[amnesiac-star]

Ah.

...I feel like you two are the last person I should be asking, but should I be worried at all? I mean, the whole kidnapping someone and then mailing them to someone else thing.

I know the law is meaningless to me, but is anyone gonna hunt me or whoever gets the star down?

[consuming-the-celestial]

Eh...

As far as we’re aware, no. Just go for it and send the star.

[Priyon gives the thumbs up.]