Things Have Changed

Just a girl with a fucked up brain trying to get through life by sharing her story with strangers.

[creativeusernamesrus-blog]

I'm proud of who I am.

[creativeusernamesrus-blog]

What is it

Sometimes I wonder if you were to do a cross section of my brain what it would look like. Sometimes this gets so hard it feels like each side would look completely different from the other. One side would be rainbows and almost like an amusement park...whereas the other...it would be like a dark and scary night in the woods...

[houseofblues]

Haha! 

[creativeusernamesrus-blog]

Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like no one gives a shit about me. I feel like such an inconvenience. I feel like all I do is add stress and frustration to people's lives.

[creativeusernamesrus-blog]

Let me list the things my brain has told me to do...

Open my door while driving on the highway (don't forget to unbuckle) Make out with my best friends (male and female...all straight) Have sex with every man I meet. Fall in love with every person that shows me any affection Jump off the roof Jump out of moving vehicles Spend every dollar I have on clothes and makeup I don't need Kill my sister Cut myself Beat myself senseless Crash my car into the divider while my best friend is in the car with me Kill myself (everyday) Clean every inch of my room. Ignore the mess in my room (and believe me it's disastrous) Break things...everything

[creativeusernamesrus-blog]

Tired

I'm just so tired. Tired of so many things. Tired of hate, tired of racism, tired of sexism, physically and emotionally tired. By far the worst is tired of being. Just tired of being myself. Some days I feel like my illness is a superpower. But some days I feel like it's a 50 pound weight sitting squarely on my chest. And honestly, I'm just so tired.

[thoughtkick]

Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.

Sylvia Plath (via thoughtkick)

[creativeusernamesrus-blog]

A Step in the Right Direction

So...this is Tumblr. 

My therapist recommended to me I start journaling...to get down all the things I feel and what is happening while I’m feeling these things. I figured doing a blog might just help. I’ll talk to an anonymous group of people...or no one at all. My goal is just for this to be a step in the right direction. And I can perhaps inspire people to know that they’re not alone.