Crushing & Relationship Advice

we post about crushes, feelings, fun facts.post times: every Wednesday

[crush-answr]

Saying Goodbye

Hello, everyone. It’s been a very long time. Last time I posted here I said I’d be back, and I had every intention to do so but life got in the way. When I finally had free time I unfortunately realized I’ve outgrown Tumblr and I was spending less and less time on the website. Now, I won’t make this long since many of you don’t care about explanations but I’ll tell you what you need to know.

Will you be back?

No. Maybe to answer the last questions I got in my inbox but I’m not certain about that. Besides those, it isn’t probable for me to be back.

So is this our goodbye?

Depends. If you only use Tumblr then yes. If not, you can find me on Reddit, on r/DatingTheorists (I’ve linked it below). If you’re a woman looking for relationship advice and how to grow as a person, that’s your place. Otherwise, this is our goodbye.

Regardless whether we’ll see each other or not, I want to thank everyone for their time and attention towards my little blog. I’ve always aspired to help people and you gave me that opportunity and I’m thankful to you. I hope I was of help as well. I hope everyone who reads this has a beautiful and happy life.

I wish you all the very best

-A

r/DatingTheorists

r/DatingTheorists: We are a community focused on women’s dating space. Our users are primarily and almost exclusively women. Our main goal i

[crush-answr]

It's been a hot minute... Or more

As you've probably noticed, I've left this blog quite unattended, letting my personal life pull me away from it. I can't even remember the last time I posted on this blog. I have been thinking of coming back and I think that now it's the time, but we need to adress some things first:

First things first

I must deeply apologize to my followers for leaving the blog suddenly. I have some questions in my inbox that are long due and I'm truly sorry for not being able to provide advice at the right time. I hope you can forgive me.

Where have I been?

The reason for my disappearance is irrelevant and it's mostly personal. I can say that nothing bad has happened to me so you can stop worrying.

Hey, what happened to my question?

If your question hasn't disappeared from my, inbox you're very likely to see a respone soon.

What is going to happen now?

As I have previously mentioned, I'm going to come back to this blog. The time that I took while I was away has helped me become a more mature person. I have a different outlook on things and hopefully I can provide better advice.

I intend to post weekly, answering your questions every Wednesday and maybe post other things every Weekend. This way I can be a little more organized and I can take the proper time to answer everything thoroughly.

Disclaimer

My answers are NOT from an expert, mainly because I'm NOT an expert. Think of me as a friend of yours that is trying their best to give an objective opinion. My advice is based on research and personal experiences. Please be mindful of other people's feelings. NO mean behaviour will be tolarated on this blog. This is a positive place.

Idea?

Perhaps once in a blue moon I could go on Twitch (similarly to @ineedrelationshipadvice) and answer your questions in real time, while playing a video game in the background. Just to spice things up lol

[crush-answr]

Everything was going perfectly with my crush and he is a genuinely nice guy he’s just busy with work and college stuff at the moment but I’m a paranoid person and feel like maybe he just wants to get rid of me... we spoke all the time non stop and recently it hasn’t been the case. I just need help like why do guys go suddenly distant??

In general, the main reason why so many people stop chasing us and grow distant is the fact that we continue to communicate that we like them over and over again. As soon as somebody thinks you're static, that's when they take their foot off the pedal and they think you'll always be there. Now, personally, I'm glad you have such a good connection with him, but let there be a little time for him to chase you😉. I don't suggest that you should always play hard to get, but it's good to have time for yourselves in any kind of relationship. Hope this helps you.

[crush-answr]

I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago but i miss him like crazy and i just wanna message him but idk what to do

Think about the reason behind your break-up. Whose fault was it? Was it anybody’s fault? If you seem fit to reach out to him, I say you should do it. If he’s wronged you try and resist the urge to contact him. 

[crush-answr]

I was thinking about doing a weekly post of “story time” where I talk about my past experiences with crushes or funny stories. (gotta admit, I have a couple) Should I do it?

[crush-answr]

Thanks for running this blog ☺💝

No worries, darling! This is my job and my duty, I’m just glad that I can help people!

[crush-answr]

I like this guy and I'm debating whether I should tell him or not. He's way out of my league, but we've been texting for a couple months and have hung out once. He's always giving me mixed signals. he barely initiates a conversation, but he always seems happy to see me/talk to me. Last time I saw him he ran up and hugged me like he hadn't seen me in forever but didn't say a thing and ran off to talk to someone else second after. Idk if he's just being nice or if he might like me

I answered your ask here.

[crush-answr]

There are a couple of ways you can find out if he’s genuinely interested or he is just being nice to you.  Here are some articles that I’ve found that might help you:

How To Tell if a Guy is Interested or Just Being Nice;

Is he flirting with you? Here are the 8 Signs that he is! (ignore the quiz, they are usually not helpful).

After you’ve established if he likes you or not, you can move on to decide if you should confess or not. Confessing wouldn’t do much harm if he’s interested and it has the potential to make things move faster. 

[crush-answr]

Is it wrong to love a friend very much? I had been told that it is wrong to love a friend so much unless I feel for him otherwise. And all of a sudden, it felt like all of my beliefs were wrong. Why is it wrong to love a friend very much that it hurts so much when he decided to end the friendship off?

Who told you that? Of course it’s not wrong to love a friend very much. It’s like saying that you can’t love your mother very much. It doesn’t make sense. It’s normal to care for a friend, to be hurt when they decide to end the friendship. I’ve been through that so I understand you. 

[crush-answr]

So I’ve know this guy for two years now. We got to know each other really well for about a year and then I never saw him for the next year, and now I’ve reconnected with him again. We’ve talked a little but not much, and I really just want to tell him that I like him. But my friends keep telling me I should wait. I don’t want to scare him off, but I really just want him to know. What do you think is the best thing for me to do? I hope this makes sense. Haha!

I’d say the same. You should first wait to see how your friendships develops in order to maximize your chances of success. If everything goes well, you can confess, but confessing doesn’t always end up with a relationship, so be prepared for whatever outcome this might have. 

[crush-answr]

Ok so there’s this guy at my youth group that I really like! I’ve known him for about 4 years(possibly longer) and he’s 2 years older than me. I used to hate him for a few years and somehow I’ve come to like him. We are friends and we talk however we aren’t close. But I don’t think I have a chance with him as I guess he’s considered “popular” and he wouldn’t go for someone like me(he’s also a bit of a f*ckboy). Any advice on how to get closer?

If he’s popular it doesn’t mean that it is impossible to get close to him and even have a relationship. There are no rules when it comes to popularity and dating. If you want to get close to him you can simply ask him to go out with you as friends and see where it leads from there. The fact that you two talk and are not just acquaintances helps.

[crush-answr]

A guy found out I liked him… He convinced my best friend to laugh at me while he “ asked me out” I said yes being the idiot I am… I went and there stood my best friend beside him while they laughed at me what do I do I still really like him

I’m going to answer this ask by firstly saying that I got this message 5 times. I don’t know if it’s a glitch or not, but if you purposefully sent the ask 5 times, I’d greatly appreciate if you don’t do that again. We answer to all messages even though sometimes it takes us a little longer than usual.

That being said, now let me give you my opinion on this matter. If your best friend and your crush laughed at you, they are definitely awful people. You don’t need friends like that in your life and you certainly don’t want to get invloved with people like your crush. Try and get over him, either occupy your free time with hobbies or other activities or hang out with other friends that deserve you.

[crush-answr]

Okay so my ex bf broke it off with me after 7 months.. and now he’s already dating my best friend.. I told her it hurt, but she doesn’t care and he doesn’t look like he ever cared about me at all.. how should I react to this?

This situation is rather delicate. I’d say that it really depends on how soon they got together. If they did it immediately that is rude and it shows what kind of friend your bff is. If they got together after some time, I think it’s understandable. Not everyone gives up the opportunity to be with their crush (or let’s say interest), just because they’ve dated one of their friends. Also, you have to keep in mind how valuable this friendship is for you. Maybe you’re best friend doesn’t really realise how much this affects you, even though you’ve told her. At the end of the day, you should really re-evaluate your friendship and if you consider that she is more valuable than an ex, just try and understand her side of story. If you think the opposite, you can tell her that you no longer be friends. This decision is up to you, but please think if it’s worth it over a boy. 

[crush-answr]

Keep your head up love ❤

Thank you so much!! That's sooo sweet ❤

[crush-answr]

How would you define the difference between having a crush and loving someone ? I've been wondering for a few years now yet no-one ever gave me a proper answer ...

Love is long lasting; it can keep two people together for a lifetime. A crush is very short-lived; it wears out. A crush can be described as a very strong attraction towards someone; it is infatuation for a very short period of time. It is usually based on a person’s appearance or the way the person talks or walks or some particular behavior which is admired intensely by another person. Personally, I believe that when you will really find true love, you'll be able to distinguish easily the feelings, even though there may be more types of love you will feel.

[crush-answr]

The guy I like is my best friend. Last Friday we got dinner together and he asked if it was a date. I asked him if he liked me as more than a friend and he said yes. this Thursday, 6 days later he tells me “Im sorry I think I rushed in and mistook my feelings for you as just wanting you to stay in in life as a close friend” i feel like i’m never gonna believe any guy who tells me they like me again bc he’s the first one to do so and he didn’t mean it. I’m so angry and hurt idk what to do...

When we first feel strong emotions, we can be easily mislead. I really believe he didn’t want to hurt you, because he clearly cares a lot about you. He may really like you in that way and just got a little scared(because of a new unknown thing) or he really just rushed saying those words. Either way, I believe you should talk with him, resolve this “problem” and don’t label all boys in just one type,particularly this one. I’m sure that there will be a lot of boys that will like/love you and you shouldn’t create a wall between you and them. Try to be open, but also be careful. I hope you can get over this unpleasant experience quickly.

[crush-answr]

I was just at my bf for the long weekend and I asked him if he wants to do something for our birthday because our birthdays are in the same week. But he is just going partying with his boys and doesn't want to do something together. My birthday is on the 9th and his bday is on the 12th but he told me on the weekend of the 18th we can do something. Great so I will se him again in 3 weeks and he doesn't even want to do anything on our bdays together. But a week after that he has time ..... part 1

Well, if you want to clarify things with him you should send him a message. Even though you feel like he doesn’t put any effort in reaching out to you, you should at least try and talk to him and clear the situation. Regarding the birthday problem, I don’t really see the issue with him not wanting to celebrate it at the same time with you. Some people want their alone time (“me time”/“friends time” you call it) after engaging into a relationship and it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about their partner.