i think i’m the kind of girl that’s easy to fall in love with. i can say all the right things, work my way into people’s hearts. and then, after a while, they start to really see me. i become human in their eyes, rather than this fictional being they had put on a pedestal. the illusion fades. it always does. sometimes i make it quick and easy for them, hurt them in some way that causes them to never see me in the same light. that’s far more merciful than the other option. other times, i let them see me, bit by bit. human flaws start to overshadow the endearing qualities they thought they fell in love with. i’m no longer beautiful, posed, smiling only for them. they aren’t happy to talk to me anymore. it’s happened a few times that they’ll convince me that they never actually liked talking all that much and that they’re just settling into who they really are. but that’s never truly the case. they pull away and it’s painful for everyone involved. i’m not meant to be loved as a person. i’m meant to be loved as a memory, an idea.
