Julie Anne

A part of me lives here ~

[cynthiairwin]

Soldier Coming Home; Dog's Reaction

I was gone for 3 months at Basic Combat Training & AIT. I was able to come home for a short time during Christmas. This was my elderly dog's reaction ♥ IG: h...

Missed you, Zoie. 💔 💔

[cynthiairwin]

Iiyak ba ko o iiyak? Jusko hindi ko na talaga alam dapat ko maramdaman sa buhay ko. Minsan gusto ko na lang maglaho, o di naman kaya yung mapunta sa ibang lugar na bago lahat.

Di ko lang talaga maiwasan yung hindi masaktan. Dahil parang hindi na ko pwedeng masaktan, di na ko pwedeng mag-react man lang.

MAGULO. Sobrang gulo talaga. Pero eto yung pinasok ko. Eto yung pinili ko. Sana lang talaga kayanin ko pang panindigan 'to.

[cynthiairwin]

Whatever you call it. :<

Whew. I've never felt this much happiness for the past few years. I always blush everytime we had a chance to talk. I'm always happy and it seems the entire world favors me as well. That feeling that you know God's there watching and showering you so much blessings in love. (Whut? Lovelife? HAHAHA.)

But.. There's this thing. I don't know what that other person feels for me, or does he even have any feelings for me? Or am I just creating this whole thing.

If Peter Pan never grows in a place called Neverland, maybe mine's a Dreamland. For in there, I can be a person that is actually far from what others could see.

I hope I can make it back to reality, before I get used to what is happening right now. Because I know, I'm on my sweetest dream, with eyes wide open, which may lead to being brokenhearted again, soon.

[cynthiairwin]

Betrayal

Sana hindi na lang kita masyadong pinagkatiwalaan. Para hindi rin ganito yung galit at inis na nararamdaman ko sa t'wing makikita ko 'yang mukha mo. Pinagkatiwalaan pa man din kita. Trinato kita na hindi iba. Pero nagawa mong lahat ng kasinungalingan mo dahil lang sa lalaking 3 buwan mo palang kilala. Nakakainis lang dahil mas pinili ko pa ring paniwalaan yung mga sinabi mo kesa sa mga pagdududa ko. Akala ko ako pa yung masama dahil ako ang nag-iisip sayo ng mga bagay-bagay. Pero hindi pala. Ang galing mo. Napaikot mo laht ng taong nagbigay ng buong tiwala sa'yo. Congrats! Ang galing galing mo. Napaniwala mo kami sa lahat ng plano mo. May paiyak-iyak ka pa, paawa effect lang pala. Gusto kitang saktan e. Gusto kitang sampalin. Gusto kitang awayin. Pero hindi na lang. Sayang lang oras ko sa'yo. Sana lang sa desisyon mo maging maayos pa rin yang buhay mo. Kawawa naman yung dinadamay mo sa mga pinaggagagawa mo. Tinagalog ko na, para pag nakita mo 'to, kakayanin mong mabasa.

[cynthiairwin]

Loner? Sometimes, I think.

I have friends, a lot actually. I spend most of my time being with them. We share secrets, we laugh hardly, we make fun of each other. 

I just have this feeling of being alone. Like, after all the happiness and what-so-ever-bonding-thing, I begin to act as a person that's not me. I mean, a person who won't smile, who would rather choose to be by himself. I don't know why. It just happens, most of the time.

[cynthiairwin]

Waiting for Superman.

I've been wandering these past few days.

First, I've been addicted to someone whose work is to please people that surrounds him, and treat each and everyone special. I thought there's a chance, a spark. But I was so dumb to think of something beyond those conversations.

Then, afterwards, here comes this person who serves in the church. I have no idea why I ended up liking him. He was (or I was just thinking that he was) looking at me for several times. It's awkward. And because of this cultural event yearly, we see each other everyday. The thing is, I have this feeling that he knows I'm giving him attention. Gosh, I'm not flirting. But, I don't know what's happening. He's giving me signs like, "Hey, I'm just here." 

This feelings suck. Maybe these are all false hopes. Maybe I'm over thinking again. Whew.

[cynthiairwin]

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.

Pooh

[cynthiairwin]

Minsan talaga pakiramdam ko mag-isa ako kahit may mga totoong tao naman sa buhay ko. Ewan ko ba. :/ Nakakasakit lang ng pakiramdam pag laging gano'n.