turning 17 tomorrow makes me really sad right now.

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turning 17 tomorrow makes me really sad right now.
right now my mom is talking to me about my weight. she's saying "I'm older than you and I'm not even a size 20 in pants!" and "don't you see how big your arms are?!, they're bigger than mine!". sigh. okay I really just need to stop eating period. i'm gonna try today. wish me luck :/
school is coming and I’m just getting sad on stupid things right now. being sad I’m repeating 11th grade. this is my first time repeating a grade. feeling more like a failure. I hate how my depression makes it so fucking hard to focus on anything. so, I just don’t know shit in any class what so ever… and school. where I have no friends. always lonely and where people dislike me. ugh. watching your old friends having fun everyday isn’t cool at all.
and just also thinking about cutting. I’m not only thinking about school, I’m thinking about so much shit right nowv in my head.