“Carl, come clean up this shit!” You screamed at your mailman, he scared your pet pug so bad he shit on the floor. Â
“Sorry Mrs. Prussy.” He apologized and looked down at the soiled carpet. He didn’t look very sorry, so you hit him upside the back of the head and forced him to smell it.
“Look what you’ve done Mr. Azuz.” You screamed. “Your stupid face caused my dog to shit! Do you know how it feels to be so scared that you shit?! OF COURSE NOT. HA I HAVE A BETTER IDEA YOU CAN LICK IT UP.” You yelled at the top of your lungs, suddenly getting an idea.
“I’m sorry please don’t make me eat it.” He begged but you laughed at how desperate he was. Quickly, you ripped off your fake arm and, using your other arm, hit him with the plastic limb. He cried. He cried so hard that the poop started to get watery and it looked like soup on your carpet. So you went into the kitchen and got a bowl for him.
“Here now it’ll be easier to eat.” You yelled and threw the bowl down. Carl’s hands turned into paws as he scooped up the filth from the carpet. His paws ripped small holes in your plush white carpet. This made you more mad than you had ever been before.
“Take off your pants Carl!!” You screamed at the man. He looked up at you, shit in between his teeth and tears running down his face.
“Please Mrs. Prussy I didn’t mean to rip your carpet! Just don’t put it in my pooper again!” He cried.
“CARL ITS GOING IN YOUR POOPER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT NOW TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS YOU SLUT!!”
Carl took off his pants and you prepped the fake arm that you had handy at the entrance of his pooper.
But you had a better idea. “Don’t leave this position!” You yelled, leaving Carl on his knees. You walked outside and dug a hole quickly. Just where you knew it’d be, you grabbed the worm that you named Dirk from the ground. You hurried back inside to find Carl in the same spot you left him. Good.
“What do you have?” Carl asked.
“What?!” He was horrified now.
“It’s a wormderful surprise!” you laughed at your own joke. Carl must have gotten what you meant, as he started pooping everywhere.
“NOW YOU KNOW WHAT MY PUG FELT LIKE” and with that, you shoved Dirk where he wanted to go. In Carl’s pooper.
You could hear the sound of Dirk trying to wiggle into Carl’s intestines. You had a tight grip on him so he couldn’t go too far. Carl begged you to stop, and it made you laugh even harder. This laughing made your grip loosen, and all of a sudden, Dirk was all the way inside Carl. You yelled in surprise, and Carl fell onto his stomach.
You heard a loud screeching, and all of a sudden his arms started morphing into his torso and his legs morphed together He turned a light pink color, you walked around to see his face, which has smoothed over with the weird skin. HE HAD BECOME DIRK. You screamed and ran away, but now that he had no legs or arms he slithered over to you quickly.
“NOOOOO” You yelled, so scared that you shit. Right before Carl reached you, the tv suddenly turned on. Someone on the news was talking.
“It has been found that a man named Carl Azuz has Ebola, if you come in contact with him, then gtfo!”
You got really scared and Carl bit you. Then you got Ebola and died.
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