Just a place

Kpop | Anime | BL | Feminism | Disney | LGBTQ+ | Pokémon | 日本語 | 한국어 | Italiana | Veganism | LOVE | 💕

[mentalillnesswho]

I am begging everyone who reads this to look into the "trucker convoy" in downtown Ottawa. Under the disguise of "an anti-vax protest", the Capital city of Canada has been occupied by extremists. The city has been gridlocked since the 29th, with 18 wheeler trucks entering the city in the THOUSANDS. They have been blaring their horns day and night. Noise pollution is just the tip of the iceberg though. Racists and bigots have put themselves at the front of this demonstration, changing the narrative to one of hate. Truckers in Canada are treated horribly, but this protest has done nothing but ignore legitimate concerns that should be raised. Instead there has been Nazi flags, Confederate flags, violence, hate speech, disrespect towards national monuments and buildings, hate crimes, and so much more. There were even "protestors" who were stealing food from a local homeless shelter! People are afraid to go downtown, and those living there have said they feel like they are being tortured. Imagine hearing the sounds of horns, ambulances, traffic, and all other city sounds on a normal day. Now consider how many trucks have been coming through the city and how many protestors are coming from around the country to participate. Ottawa is not a very large city at all. Businesses in the core have been forced to close for days now, many of them LGBT+ and POC safe spaces.

Now wait, how can this be a thing? Has the government done anything? Well, our prime minister has been nowhere to be seen and is supposedly sick. Conservative party members are supporting the truckers. Local police are a joke. They have actually told people who had been harrassed downtown for wearing a mask to not to wear masks! The logic is that they want to "protestors" to simmer down, and wearing a mask could provoke them.

All I want is the ability to go downtown, go about my day, and not be constantly worried about those who are stuck in the middle of this.

[transandrophobiatruther]

The narrative that a "real" trans person would have shown "signs" of being trans at a young age really needs to die. How do you even measure that? A lot of kids didn't have the opportunity to experiment outside of assigned gender roles, sometimes because they didn't know it was a possibility, sometimes because they weren't allowed to. Even if a child expressed discomfort in their assigned gender, a parent or other adult may have forced them to suppress it, or may deny that it ever happened at all. A good number of trans people also lean heavily into gender stereotypes and gender norms prior to coming out in attempt to suppress it themselves, even if no one in their life has forced them to do so. Also...people change. Gender can be fluid. Maybe as a kid you felt content with your assigned gender at birth, but grew uncomfortable with it as you grew older. There is no way to measure or prove that someone is trans.

[crossdreamers]

All you dads out there: This is what you should do when you find your child exploring gender norms and expressions!

In this video Daniel Lemus Díaz shows us how Daniel’s father reacted when he found Daniel with makeup on. 

Via upworthy. On tiktok.

[modalities-of-care]

An ethos of care…

“a radical social ontology- we need to rethink self-hood - it’s boundaries, it’s opening to have a completely different ethics and [and] a politics of care.” - Judith Butler

[antiplondon]

Judith Butler and Afghan women

Yesterday on Twitter, I wrote an angry tweet. It went like this: “I just really need to know how Judith Butler’s definition of women applies

Yesterday on Twitter, I wrote an angry tweet. It went like this:

“I just really need to know how Judith Butler’s definition of women applies to Afghan women who are being beaten on the streets by the Taliban. Have you ever considered that your academics really don’t fit the lives of women in the global South?”

I posted the above tweet after reading about the now infamous Guardian interview in which Butler said that TERFs (trans exclusionary radical feminists) align themselves with right wingers and fascists. I don’t identify as a TERF, or much of anything really (cis? that too feels like an imposition upon me) because this debate about trans rights and gender identity seems so far removed from the lived reality that I and millions of women in the South Asian/Central Asian region experience. I certainly don’t align myself with right wingers and fascists in my thinking, which is different and far more independent from the groupthink or pressure that people in, say, an academic environment face as they adapt to new rules and laws about gender.

But it was Judith Butler’s statement that “we need to rethink the category of women” that got me going. It coalesced from quite a lot of thinking I’ve been doing about gender identity theory as it is being adopted in Western countries. And it comes at the same time as I’ve been watching Afghan women getting beaten by the Taliban as they protest for their rights, for safety and security and for inclusion in the government, and for the freedom to work and study.

I was asked to clarify my thinking about my statement, because it seemed vague or perhaps obtuse to people for whom gender identity theory is far more familiar and agreeable. It’s good to be challenged because it forces you to think harder about what it is you really believe.

In Afghanistan (extreme example) but also in Pakistan, where I live, in India, in Nepal, Bangladesh, Middle Eastern countries, North Africa, women (or people with female bodies) are being abused, harassed, assaulted and killed not just because they have female bodies, but because they refuse to hand those bodies over to men to do with as they please.

Because this possession and ownership of female bodies is absolutely tied to female biology and the production of children and sexual comfort for those men, separating sex from gender completely negates this form of oppression which is hugely insulting to all of us who are still fighting to end sex-based discrimination in our countries and regions.

At the same time a particularly empowering thing for women is the fact that their bodies are capable of producing life. This is something so innate to women’s identities and sense of themselves in Muslim/global South/non-white countries that to insist it is something that does not belong to them is actually a form of mental and emotional violence on them, a double trauma visited upon them by Western Feminists who wish to impose their ideas of gender and sex on those of us whose understanding and experience of these issues is very different.

Imagine a Muslim woman in the UK who escapes a violent marriage and threats of honor killing. She goes to a shelter where she feels safe because it is a female-only space. Not just because she is away from the realm of immediate male violence, but because as a Muslim woman she does not feel comfortable sharing intimate quarters with a person with a male body. This allows her to reconcile her awful situation as well as her need to feel she is acting in congruence with her identity and principles of modesty as a Muslim woman.

But if a trans woman with a penis is in the same space, then the Muslim woman will be in a terrible conflict about her actions in leaving her home. Suddenly, she is not able to remove her hijab or undress because she cannot do those things in front of a person with a male body who is not a family member. This not a hypothetical, there are Muslim, Sikh, and Hindu women who are now excluded from single sex-only spaces because the definition of woman has changed to include women with penises. To call that Muslim woman a TERF because she expresses discomfort is yet another abuse for her.

All this to say that we have yet to negotiate safety and freedom for women with female bodies and not ignore or override minority women in the West or women from my part of the world out of these negotiations. Afghan girls and women have in fact had to disguise themselves as boys and men in order to move outside the home, earn a living or perform vital chores during the rule of the Taliban. Would this be called “performing gender” as Judith Butler calls it, or a resourceful survival strategy that Afghan women adopted in order to be able to live?

I’m afraid the trans rights activists are acting like Western colonisers and imperialists all over again, imposing their ideas of gender and sexuality on us the same way their Empire was imposed on us for a good part of the 20th century. I don’t really want gender colonialism in the 21st century. Do you?

Thank you for coming to my TERF Talk.

Bina Shah

[dangerouslysqeamish]

As a transfemme genderqueer person, i want to say thank you for presenting this thought-provoking perspective. It's so true that 'learned' academic conversations are so removed from global struggles of women in the Global South.

One thing that i urge queer ppl and feminists to do is create a unity towards achieving a common framework for dismantling BOTH of our opressors: the patriarchy. It's painfully counterproductive to try to categorize each other as either "completely on our side" or "with the enemy".

It is naive for anyone in a social movement to think that different groups of ppl with varying social, political, cultural, and economic views will just relinquish their own firmly held beliefs easily and without compassionate and empathetic dialogue, compromise, and consensus from both sides.

[thecairomuse]

Winter'21/22 reset prep & plan

Hi angels, it's been a minute since my last blog post but I'm back and ready for a much needed transformation.

Winter is the PERFECT time for a reset and for getting yourself back on track after a detour (which are very common and very normal and totally okay!)

I myself haven't been feeling so great lately, due to a combination of things, a lack of time and energy and I haven't been doing the things that make me feel like me and I have felt like in certain situations, I've violated my own boundaries and abounded my values for the sake of others and a few events in my life completely changed the way I view the world, myself and others. But this is not what this post is about, this post is for anyone that feels like they need a fresh start or feels like they need to get back on track! (although I def have to make a few posts about some of these topics because they are SO important)

You need a fresh start before new year's so you can become the best version of yourself. You do not want to be making major changes without addressing your current problems.

Grab a pice of paper and pen and get ready to dig deep! Remember the theme of this is RESET.

Phase 1 (plan)

Figure out what you want out of this reset. Everyone's journey is different. I personally want to get back to where I was, you could want to turn a new page after heartbreak, or you could want to completely abandon your old life and your old self and start from the beginning. Everyone's going to have different needs, identify them.

Reflect on your current situation

Figure out exactly which areas of your life that you've neglected, and find out why

Identify bad habits you want to get rid of

Identify your triggers

Try to get a clear idea of where you want to be at the end of winter (this is going ti be different for everyone)

Notice if anything's been bothering you lately (do you seem to have less energy, are you forgetting things easily, that sort of thing)

Remember good habits/ routines you had implemented but now no longer engage in

Identify the situations/ people/ events/ habits that do not serve you, and let go of them

If it does not make you feel good, it has no place in your life

Find out which situations/ trauma remain unresolved, and sit with yourself for while and try to work them. Feel free to reach out to someone if needed.

Shadow work is perfect for this!!

Get crystal clear on who you are as an individual, what you stand for, what you believe in, what you like, what you dislike, etc. get to know yourself!

re-examine your goals and re-focus if needed

Phase 2 (feel your best)

Health

Get back on your diet (if you were on one like keto, paleo, Mediterranean, intermittent fasting, plant-based, etc.)

This time of year I find that people tend to eat heavier, more sugary meals, I for one am guilty, and they tend to upset my gut. I would recommend you find out which foods make you feel bad/ sluggish/ heavy/ nauseous/ bloated/ etc. and limit them

Now is a great time to go on a water fast if you're experienced with fasting

Try to walk and dance more

If you've stopped working out, ease your way back into it, starting with once a week, twice a week, etc until you're back at your regular pace.

Swap out your usual routine for something less intense (walking instead of running, lighter weights, etc.)

Get your blood tested!!! check your vitamin D, B12 and iron levels

Tea has so many benefits and will keep you warm!

Face & Body care

If you've been neglecting your self-maintenance this is the time to get back to old routines. Personally, I haven't found the energy for my weekly facials however I enjoy them so much and I've decided this is something I want back in my life, I also need to get back on my IPL schedule. This is going to be different for everyone.

Hair

clarifying treatments

henna masks

hair masks in general

get a trim or look into dusting if you want to maintain your length

ACV rinses are great

Give your hair a break from relaxers, heat, bleach, etc.

Scent

How to smell good from head to toe, AKA my scent routine

Also, figure out if you have BO and try to get rid of it (I can make a post on this!)

Phase 3 (mental wellbeing)

This is the star of this reset!

Give yourself a social media detox, whatever that looks like for you (take a break/ edit your followers and following lists/ completely delete/ deactivate your account/ only use social media on your laptop/ use extensions to limit your social media usage/ only for 30 minutes a day/ etc. figure out what works best for you and what you need)

Cut out toxic people from your life and people who do not make you feel good

Find out what drains your energy (people, places, situations, social media, listening to too much music with harmful lyrics, partying, gossiping, etc.)

Get clear on your personal values

Get clear on your personal boundaries (in relationships, friendships, at work/ school, mental boundaries as well)

Identify any self-sabotaging or people pleasing behaviour

Let go and detach yourself from anything that does not serve

Release shame

Forgive yourself

Recognize and stop comparison

Get clear on what you will and will not tolerate

Place some rules on yourself and your life, if you find yourself going down a slippery path (I will not vape, I will not entertain a man just because I'm bored, I'm will not gossip, etc.)

Work on getting eight hours of sleep

Journal to organize your thoughts

Once again, shadow work!!!

Go on a dopamine detox

Recognize red flags in relationships, friendships, work place, etc.

Recognize your own red flags and work on them

Give yourself closure if you need to

Vent to a friend who is willing to help

Remove yourself from harmful situations

Choose to be happy

Reconnect with old friends

Smiling is an instant mood booster

Work on your insecurities

practice intentional kindness, to yourself and others

Speaking of, self-compassion is so so important during this journey

Find your comfort shows/ movies/ food for fun

appreciate and find joy in the little things

Work on any traumas you may have (childhood, generational, relationships, friendships, etc.)

Identify unhealthy patterns in your life

Recognize what your grateful for

Recognize the areas in your life where you have improved, things your proud of yourself for, no mater how small

Heal energetic cords

Choose to put things behind you and to move on

Be intentional with everything, with your healing, with your emotions, with your thoughts and your actions

Journal for self-reflection

celebrate small victories

Positive self talk in the mirror is life-changing

Find out what fulfill you

Let go of limiting beliefs

make your self and your wellbeing a priority

Remind yourself of moments life has been kind to you

Focus on healing

Stop caring about other people's judgements of you

learn to control your emotions and reactions

Phase 4 (living)

Now is a great time for any of your usual reset rituals

Spend time with people you leave you feeling good

Do something nice for someone

Yoga + meditation for new beginnings

Practice LOA, whatever that means for you

Get back on track with your studying

revisit and relearn old skills

Do small things that make you happy (baking brownies, buying flowers, painting your nails, etc.)

Explore your city!! there are so many fun things to do

Consider taking a trip somewhere

Buy yourself a symbolic piece of jewellery

Asses your money habits

Make any and all lifestyle changes necessary

Work on reimplementing any good habits/ routines back into your life

Get enough sleep!!

Go out in nature! it's so healing

make plans for days when you are not feeling so great

I just want you to know that I am so so proud of you for putting in the effort to better your self and your life. Self-improvement journeys are never linear and you will have bad days, bad weeks or bad months and that's okay! it is a part of growth.

Lots of love,

Serena

xx

[puppybaby15]

[patpran]

are u seeing this shit

[dangerouslysqeamish]

MY BREATH,,,,,,,

[dangerouslysqeamish]

If only i could feel your warm embrace

Again ❤

[gunsatthaphan]

“…it’s because of us.”

[itgetsbetter]

Non-Binary Portraits (2016-2019) - Laurence Philomene

Laurence Philomene - Photographer

“The project aims to inspire and educate viewers to look at the individuals I am photographing outside of gendered expectations, and to reflect on various ways that androgyny can present itself. These portraits also serve as a historical document for the vibrant community that I am a part of.“

[dangerouslysqeamish]

종현은 멋있습니다 💎

[mushpotaeto]

I miss you really, Jonghyun

[spellcore]

“Everyone feels robbed of their teenage years that don’t really exist” yeah but the experience of losing your teen years to mental illness, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of bigotry is different than being a non-mentally ill cishet teen who isn’t living life exactly like it is on tv

[leave-her-a-tome]

(source)

Unsplash -  photography, illustration, and art

Pixabay - same as unsplash

Pexels - stock photos and videos

Stockvault.net - stock photos

Veceezy - vectors and clipart

Getdrawings - simplistic images and drawing tutorials

Gumroad - photoshop brushes (and more)

Canva - needs login but has lots of templates

Library of Congress - historical posters and photos

NASA - you guessed it

Creative Commons - all kinds of stuff, homie

Even Adobe has some free images

There are so many ways to make moodboards, bookcovers, and icons without infringing copyright! As artists, authors, and other creatives, we need to be especially careful not to use someone else’s work and pass it off as our own. 

Please add on if you know any more sites for free images <3

[twitblr]

It’s so important to have someone that understands

[se-tae]

Triggered