Nobody Expects the Dragon Age Smutquisition

2021 Dragon Age Smutty Gift Exchange. Shameless Smut Ahead. 18+ Only. 

[dasmutquisition]

DASmutquition is cumming again

Welcome back to the 2025 edition of Dragon Age Smutquisition. The exchange is still being run by Jarak and a team of lovely mods who remind me to post things (and give me excellent titles). As I said last year, we’re all doomed, but that turned out to be a false alarm, so we might make it through this year too.

If you’ve not gathered what this is:

Nobody Expects the Dragon Age Smutquisition is a fanwork gift exchange that showcases works rated Explicit in the DA Fandom. Any pairings or groups are eligible as long as they contain at least one DA Character from any DA Media. All works must be rated Explicit and tagged appropriately. The minimum is 1000 words or art equivalent (further details on requirements will be available on AO3)

2024 Important Dates:

Noms: Jan 1st - Jan 22th

Signups: Jan 15th - Jan 29th

Assignments sometime 30/31st

Due date: 10th March

Anon Reveals: 17th March

Creator reveals: 24th March

With regards to Veilguard:

Yes, we will be accepting Veilguard nominations and requests. However Firstly: given it's still quite soon after the game, to save me from going crazy during matching you will be asked to sign up with at least 1 request from a previous game. Secondly: I'll be posting some clever little bit of code you will be asked to use to hide all the veilguard prompts in requests so that people who wish to stay spoiler free still can browse safely. (Yes, some of us are sadly still not in possession of the game)

(And many thanks to Midnight for the banner - you lot didn't think Jarak did that did you?!)

[dasmutquisition]

Smutquisition 2025 sign ups are open

We are a go!

You have until the 29th of Jan 10am GMT. Nominations are remaining open for the next week in case of latecomers. If you are nomming Rooks please do so in the format of Male Elf Rook, Female Dwarf Rook, Nonbinary Qunari Rook, etc. (If you don't I will just put them all through as Dwarf requests) And here's some handy code for use in your description box. You can use it to hide Veilguard prompts. Just take the spaces out of the html.

<details ><summary >Veilguard Spoilers</summary > Your prompts go here</details >

And by 'can', what I really mean is please use it to hide Veilguard prompts. (But not your DNWs, don't hide those!)

[dasmutquisition]

Nominations are Open

Final timeline, link to the tagset, and all rules in the link below. Looking forward to seeing what new nominations we get.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[dasmutquisition]

Assignments Out

Assignments out. AO3 fought the good fight for nearly 3 hours. If there's anything that doesn't look right, let me know asap.

If anyone doesn't get an assignment, also let me know asap. It should be being delivered via email and be on your AO3 assignment pages.

Assignments are due 03.03.2024 10:00GMT

[dasmutquisition]

Open? Open!!!

So, due to some tech wizardry (not by me) the old teg set with 800+ nominations is in this years collection. Magic. As such I've opened nominations (for anything left) and sign ups simultaneously.

This comes with a slight date revision - still two weeks to sign up but they've been moved forwards, thus giving an extra creation week. Sign-up Closes: Mon 15 Jan 2024 10:00AM UTC (10:00AM GMT) Assignments Due: Sun 03 Mar 2024 10:00AM UTC (10:00AM GMT) Works Revealed: Sun 10 Mar 2024 10:00AM UTC (10:00AM GMT) Creators Revealed: Sun 17 Mar 2024 10:00AM UTC (10:00AM GMT)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

So go on, go sign up.

Just remember the extrance fee of something dwarfy for Jarak...

Jarak, the technologically inept.

[dasmutquisition]

2024 info

Welcome back. Yes it's rather late in the year. Yes the exchange has been absconded with by Jarak who's running it this year. Or next year as it's a January start. Yes, I know, we're all doomed. No, I will not be taking any criticism of my technological abilities (or lack thereof which is why there's no pretty images in this).

If you've not gathered what this is:

Nobody Expects the Dragon Age Smutquisition is a fanwork gift exchange that showcases works rated Explicit in the DA Fandom. Any pairings or groups are eligible as long as they contain at least one DA Character from any DA Media. All works must be rated Explicit and tagged appropriately.

2024 Important Dates:

Noms: Jan 1st - Jan 14th

Signups: Jan 15th - Jan 28th

Assignments sometime 29/30th

Due date: 3rd March

Anon Reveals: 10th March

Creator reveals: 17th March

Further information forthcoming when I get the hang of posting to tumblr again. It's been a long time.

Jarakrisafis

[handers-time]

Hoorah, hoorah, the time has finally come! I’m sure it won’t be the only one, as we welcome the sign-ups for the 2022 Handers Gift Exchange!

The sign-up sheet is now LIVE and available here! As a reminder, this exchange is open to all forms of creative output - art, fanmixes, fic and edits are all equally welcome. If you have any questions that aren’t covered in the FAQ below please do feel free to get in touch - I’m always happy to help!

Sign-ups are open until Sunday June 5th, with gifts assigned the next Monday. Check-ins will be held over the weekend of the 2nd/3rd July with the final deadline for all gifts to be posted Friday 29th July at the latest!

I’ll be bumping this post over the next few weeks - hope to see you all in the sign-up sheet! Last time this exchange led to an astonishing 55 Hawke/Anders gifts on AO3 - so let’s see if we can beat that in the name of our favourite feathermage!

FAQ under readmore:

Keep reading

[handers-time]

Reblog reminder, sign ups are still open!

[waterkelpies]

what big eyes you have

Explicit | Solas x F!Trevelyan | 5,236 Words

Written for V3RD3LUZ for Smutquisition 2022 @dasmutquisition

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating, Mating Bites, Knotting, Jealousy, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Alpha Solas, Omega Inquisitor, Breeding, Masturbation, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Top Solas, Omega Trevelyan, choking but not really, There's a lot of sexy holding of the throat but Trevelyan never actually chokes, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Solas makes objectively bad decisions and justifies them later, Brief discussions of past abuse in the Circle, Solas is real salty about other men, The Iron Bull is a Good Friend

Summary

A delayed delivery leaves Evelyn Trevelyan without her heat suppressing tonic for the first time in ten years. In a doomed effort to just ride it out, she tries to go about her days as usual, oblivious to the effect that she's having on the Alphas around her. Especially Solas.

It hits him when she passes by the rotunda, slipping through the corridor and up the stairs, oblivious to the heady smell she leaves behind.

The Inquisitor is in heat, or something close to it.

Solas is carefully still, leaning over his research. He grips the edge of the table even as old, familiar instincts rush back into his brain. He’s been controlled since waking up here, though he had attributed that to a lack of his preferred sort of partner. Without the old magic, elves these days don’t tempt him as they used to. They smell off, titillating and attractive but not irresistible. It had seemed a strange mercy when Solas had realized as much, one more reason to concentrate on his work instead of losing time to chasing down the smell of a potential mate in desperate need of what he could give.

For all of his mistakes, the situation as it has been so far is almost ideal. Inquisitor Trevelyan likes him, trusts him, takes his guidance. She’s intelligent, gentle, and decent. Best of all, she’s human — and a beta, or so he’d been led to believe.

Their connection has been more intellectual than anything else; any romanticism between them has been relegated to carefully casual flirtation and a single stolen kiss in the Fade. Without the insistent pull of sexual need, he’s been able to divorce his fonder emotions for her as a person from the necessary manipulation it’s taken to put her in the right places at the right time. Solas had come to the Inquisition in desperate need of a reliable piece on the board, and she’s perfect.

Or, well. Had been perfect, before she’d rendered him stupid and stiff without even trying. He’s been foolish to let it escape his notice that she’s been suppressing herself until now.

Solas digs his fingers into the table and swallows down the urge to follow Evelyn Trevelyan and bury his teeth in her neck like a wolf devouring a hare.

Read the rest on AO3!

[waterkelpies]

in the name of friendship

Explicit | Anders x Fenris x F!Hawke | 2,560 Words

Written for @darethshirl for Smutquisition 2022 @dasmutquisition

Tags: Red Hawke, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Face-Fucking, Come Swallowing

Summary

Fenris and Anders are both (separately) fucking Hawke and can't stop asking about each other. Hawke takes matters into her own hands and helps them with a (literal) dick measuring contest.

If there was one thing that ruined Hawke’s mood, it was boredom.

You would hope that such a mood would be impossible in Kirkwall, especially after the Qunari situation. You would think that chaos in the streets and social turmoil would be enough. You even think that, in an effort to cling to what joy there was to be had in this awful, wonderful cesspit of a city, boredom would be absolutely impossible if all of your nearest, dearest friends were routinely letting you sit on their face just to take the edge off.

But Hawke’s friends are a diverse group of people with many impressive talents, it turns out.

Fenris and Anders never could peacefully share any given space, despite the fact that they frequently, purposefully share them. They follow her around like puppies, beating on bandits and making trouble. They go to the same card games, city festivals, weddings, and funerals. They come to Hawke’s house for parties even knowing the other one will be there.

And when they do, they bitch. They could start a fight with one another from clear across the mansion.

It’s actually kind of hot, if she’s being honest with herself. Hawke loves a passionate man, and there’s nothing quite like watching Anders and Fenris pick a stupid, petty fight with one another while they’re covered in bandit blood. Some people just have friendships that way. She’s seen them come to each other’s aid often enough to know it’s just bickering, not a murderous hatred.

There’s just one problem.

Read the rest on AO3!

[waterkelpies]

working hard (or: hardly working)

Explicit | Cullen Rutherford x F!Lavellan | 1,708

Written for Schoute for Smutquisition 2022 @dasmutquisition

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breast Fucking, Dirty Talk, Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Vaginal Sex, Creampie, They both say 'tits' a lot

Summary

Cullen can't tear his attention away from work without some help from Ellana - and her breasts.

It’s almost midnight when she finally decides enough is enough.

Ellana has always admired Cullen’s work ethic. It’s what she likes about him. They’re both that way, workaholics who don’t know when to take a break. She wouldn’t have noticed the light was still on in his office if she hadn’t been up herself, half-watching some trashy dating show while sifting through her own work. The big difference is that Ellana is marginally more likely to look up at the clock and realize her bedtime was hours ago.

Setting aside her laptop, Ellana straightens her bathrobe, letting the belt fall open and stay that way. She’s in the quintessential uniform of the overworked and underpaid: joggers and a sports bra that have never once been jogged in, a robe with a cat-eared hood, and a lazy hair bun that’s long since drooped. All she has to do to go to bed is drop the robe on the floor and then voila, instant pajamas.

She lets herself into Cullen’s office to find him exactly where she’d left him when the sun was still up: staring far too intently at his computer screen, a crease threatening to permanently fold itself between his brows.

She knocks on the door frame to get his attention.

“Hey, you. It’s the middle of the night.”

“What? No, it’s…” Cullen glances out the window, then at the clock, then curses. “So it is. I’m almost done.”

“The clinic will need just as much bookkeeping first thing in the morning,” she promises.

“Yes, or I could do it now.” There are dark circles under his eyes, the perpetual start of a beard on his face. She actually thinks the beard is quite dashing and keeps encouraging him to grow it out, but he keeps shaving it every few days, anyway. Shame. “This is where my mind’s at, Ellie. Just let me finish and I’ll be in.”

Ellana sighs, resting against the frame. She could let him finish, but he might be up until three in the morning if she allows that. Or, she could…

Hm. That’s an idea.

Read the rest on AO3!

[waterkelpies]

talk past each other (idiom): to speak without listening

Explicit | Fenris x Dorian Pavus | 2,727 Words

Written for SidheLives for Smutquisition 2022 @dasmutquisition

Tags: Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Masturbation, Anal Sex, Come Swallowing, Past Sexual Abuse, Misunderstandings, annoyance to lovers, Light Angst, Spoiler they figure out how to talk to each other and do sex about it, Also Dorian has a light link for disapproving authority figures, It's the shame talking, He thinks it's hot when Fenris frowns

Summary

Anyway, it's not like this is the first time Dorian's fucked around with someone who can't stand him.

(This was supposed to be hate sex. It is not hate sex.)

Opinions on Dorian Pavus are mixed among the Inquisition’s allies. He’s never sure who-feels-what on first glance, but he’s figured out how to make an educated guess about most people.

There’s no guessing involved with Fenris. Fenris just hates him.

When the elf had joined them at Varric’s invitation, Dorian — ever the odd man out these days, it seems — had tried to strike up a friendly conversation. If Varric’s book is at all accurate, Fenris had shared all sorts of casual social functions with abominations and blood mages in the past. Surely a Tevinter pariah in virtual exile couldn’t be that much different.

He’d been wrong, of course.

That seems to happen a lot these days.

Read the rest on AO3!

[waterkelpies]

Hawke is Dead/Not Dead

Explicit | Fenris x F!Hawke | 3,220 Words

Written for StrongbowArcher (SmashingPigeons) for Smutquisition 2022 @dasmutquisition

Tags: Reunion Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Purple Hawke, Vaginal Sex, Fenris-typical considerations of violence upon someone's insides.

Summary

Fenris and Hawke both make for Skyhold, Fenris because Hawke is dead, Hawke because Hawke is alive.

The letter is addressed in fine calligraphy, as if that will soften the blow. Fenris Hawke. What cruelty, to let Fenris take her name just to leave.

Fenris,

Hawke’s been partnered up with one of the Wardens who stopped the Fifth Blight, Alistair. You met him once, remember? He was in Kirkwall during the Qunari uprising. Nice guy, very tall.

They figured out what was causing the Calling for all the Grey Wardens (even Bethany). Magister blood magic, of course. Hawke and Alistair ended up in the Fade with the Inquisitor and a giant fear demon. She distracted it so we could all escape.

Hawke is dead.

Hawke is dead.

Hawke is dead.

Hawke is dead.

Hawke is dead.

If there’s more to the letter, if there’s a signature or a splotch of ink, Fenris wouldn’t know.

Read the rest on AO3!

[storybookhawke]

“Relax, love, and let me show you what I can do when I take it slow.”

My entry for the Nobody Expects the Smutquisition Dragon Age Exchange 2022, for @un-shit-yourself who requested handers.

Uncensored Version: on AO3 and on Twitter

[hollyand-writes]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I’ve already listed this on my DA Smutquisition Exchange masterpost, but here’s the separate fic post for those who prefer to reblog that 😊 

My gift for @/sleepyuki for the @dasmutquisition​​ 2022 event!

Rating: Explicit   Word Count: 800 Pairing: Female Hawke/Isabela  Other characters: —  Other Tags: Cunnilingus, Oral, Short & Sweet, Treat, Isabela is a giver, Starts in Marian Hawke’s POV and ends in Isabela's 

Summary:

I can feel her on my skin I can taste her on my tongue She’s the sweetest taste of sin The more I get, the more I want

— “Closer” by Ne-Yo 

———————

The candlelight flickers across Isabela’s brown skin, bathing her in both shadow and orange glow as she moves, glorious curves and softness and smooth skin, and Marian Hawke thinks she’s never seen anything more beautiful in her entire life than the woman in her bed. 

For a woman who chose to take up residence in the Hanged Man all these years, Isabela looks altogether too comfortable amidst the sumptuous furnishings of the Hawke Estate; like a woman who deserves—expects—the finer things in life… the best things in life, maybe; and all Hawke wants to do is give her all those things. Gold; jewels; shiny, pretty things—whatever she wants, this woman will get; but right now, it’s Isabela who’s giving the gift, her head bowed between Hawke’s creamy thighs, lapping at her [wetness] there.

“Mmmmm,” Hawke says, “just like that—ahhhh—that’s so good—yes…” 

Read more on AO3… 

[hollyand-writes]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I’ve already listed this on my DA Smutquisition Exchange masterpost, but here’s the separate fic post for those who prefer to reblog that 😊 

My gift for @the-dreadful-canine​​ for the @dasmutquisition​ 2022 event! 

Rating: Explicit   Word Count: 1,446 Pairing: Arishok/Male Hawke Other characters: Dragon Age 2 Qunari (mentioned), Varric Tethras Other Tags: Anal Sex, Crack, Humour, Rough Sex, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Purple Hawke, Varric Tethras Is So Done 

Summary:

The reason Varric left out the actual duel Hawke had with the Arishok in The Tale of the Champion? Well, because no-one would believe it. 

———————

‘Maraas toh ebra-shok. You alone are basalit-an,’ was what Varric would later tell Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast when recalling the ‘true’ Tale of the Champion, before going on to tell her about the duel that Garrett Hawke and the Arishok had fought. But in truth, Hawke’s ‘duel’ with the Arishok had looked… very different to Varric’s tale.

Varric certainly had the Arishok’s respect for Hawke down right – the Arishok did indeed declare Hawke basalit-an, the one human in the city he respected, the one human he had any time for. And ‘You alone stand above the struggle’ was indeed what the Arishok had told Hawke in Qunlat. But the rest of it?

Well.

Any storyteller worth his salt knew damn well that when telling a story, you had to make it believable. And Varric Tethras was a storyteller worth his salt, which was why he would later write in his book (and recite to the Seeker) that Hawke defeated the Arishok in single combat. But truth was often stranger than fiction, and it was certainly the case here.

Hawke’s one-on-one encounter with the Arishok had gone… very differently.

The Arishok and his men had simply left Kirkwall once Isabela had returned with the Tome of Koslun – no duel had needed to take place, with the Tome returned and the Arishok’s purpose in Kirkwall finally fulfilled – and so the only ‘sword-fighting’ Hawke had challenged the Arishok to, was one final face-off in the Arishok’s tent in the Qunari Compound before they departed for Par Vollen for good. 

Read more on AO3… 

[barbex]

This is the assignment I wrote for @dasmutquisition​ exchange for https://twitter.com/dawnstonedagger. I’m tickled pink that I had to WRITE THE PAIRING TAG INTO EXISTENCE! 

Talk about a rarepair.

These two ladies are from a story in Tevinter Nights. The story and this fic are set in Minathros, Tevinter. Neve is a mage investigator and Rana is a Knight-Templar. In the book, they investigate the death of someone who fell into a venatori cult, in the fic I imagined them to do more investigations together and maybe get trapped in a closet that one time…

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Neve Gallus/Rana Savas Additional Tags: Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Book: Dragon Age - Tevinter Nights

Summary:

Neve Gallus, private investigator in Minathros, and Knight-Templar Rana Savas get trapped on an investigation. But being trapped in a closet with hundreds of dresses might not be as terrible as it first seems.

[barbex]

A fenders prompt in @dasmutquisition​? It’s more likely than you think. I wrote this as a treat for @wardenari​​ because I could just not resist the prompt.

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Anders/Fenris (Dragon Age) Characters: Anders (Dragon Age), Fenris (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Blow Jobs Summary:

Anders runs after Kirkwall, hiding as a witch. Fenris finds him, but it’s not to bring him to justice like Anders thinks. It’s because Fenris never told Anders how he truly felt about him.