Existental Ramblings

The existential ramblings and monologues of the students of King’s Dominion

[deadlyclassmonologues]

Whatever broken shit is inside us is there the day we are born.

People are what they are.

Saya Kuroki (Deadly Class, Episode 4 - Mirror People)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

I don’t believe in God, but I’m a hypocrite.

Most nights, I pray.

A track running in the background.

I pray for a way out.

Away from another institution.

Away from another monster.

Away from another cage.

I pray for help.

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 1 - Pilot)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

An ethical compass would be fine if everyone had one.

But it’s a cold cruel world...

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 1 - Pilot)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

Maybe pretending to be a hero is better than accepting that you're not one.

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 9 - Kids of the Black Hole)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

Civility is just lying to people about your true feelings.

Lex Miller (Deadly Class, Episode 1 - Pilot)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

People who proudly self-apply labels like "asshole" or "bitch", as if it's a sign of their own strength, are just ugly people looking for an excuse to lean into their unpleasant nature.

Saya Kuroki (Deadly Class, Episode 3 - Snake Pit)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

Hating what's wrong is easy. I'm going to do something about it.

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 2 - Noise, Noise, Noise)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

We're all broken. Spewing our damage, looking for meaning, for justice... Inflicting your pain onto other people doesn't help fix you. When you're feeling weak or sad or angry, friends and family are the only thing that make you feel strong

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 10 - Sink With California)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

Sadness is rage turned inwards

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 10 - Sink With California)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

So tired from the climb, I can't enjoy the view. Impossible to enjoy a quiet moment. Some asshole in the back of my head keeps reminding me it's only temporary. Constantly waiting for the next fucked-up thing to happen. Sometimes remembering a moment in your life can physically hurt you as you relive everything that mattered to you then and realize how far gone it is now. I used to sit back and think about my parents, focusing on every good memory I could harvest. It used to make me cry, and I liked it. It made me feel like I was still human. That's gone now. I twisted myself up into too many knots. No time to cry over the past. The bad trouble follows me.

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 7 - Rise Above)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

Depression's a big fucked-up monster. Everyone gets a turn. It's a hard fight that fucks you top to bottom, drains you hollow, and when you're finally rid of it, there's something about having overcome it that robs you of compassion. Secretly, in the darkest pit of your self-centered subconscious, you're just happy it's not you anymore. The black dog moved on.

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 6 - Stigmata Matyr) 

[deadlyclassmonologues]

There's this monastery in the Tenderloin. Guys in orange robes trying to polish a giant, junkie wasteland with meditation and free grub. There was a monk there, a guy from New Jersey who told me that everything in life is suffering. Everything. I said, "What about happiness?" He said, "That's suffering, too, because you know that happiness won't last."  I told him he was full of shit. How can hope be suffering? Or joy? Or family? He was right. Humans need to suffer. It's how we know we're alive.  All we really are is a compilation of damages

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 4 - Mirror People)

[deadlyclassmonologues]

We live our lives behind these fictitious ideas of what we think other people will accept. Barricaded behind masks, honing our act. When people laugh, we learn and repeat what amuses them. When they respect us, when we’re given their validation, we feel secure. But over time, the person down underneath the social training becomes unrecognizable, lost. Our act becomes the truth. And the truth becomes some residual of the weak person we were before we learned how to fit in.

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 4 - Mirror People) 

[deadlyclassmonologues]

Sat up all night expecting to feel like a terrible person. Did he deserve it? Does it matter? Morality’s just comfort food.  It holds no meaning outside of our minds. Like the “Mona Lisa,”  something a lot of people imagine value in, reading something into that idiot half-smile smear of paint, one big group hallucination,  the sort of thinking that makes it possible for a place like this to exist. Turbines that suck in the innocent and spit out blood-soaked Wall Street cannibals. Perspectives stained by company rationalization. What are you gonna do? Throughout evolution, without a tribe, you were alone and dead so you sucked it up, worked with the assholes. That’s all we are now, gangs of capitulating assholes.   Every border, every nation, every war, every ounce of racism, every religion: tribalism. Spineless politicians hypnotically finger-fucking an ancient instinct to secure alliances and a great excuse to screw with the new kid.

Marcus Lopez Arguello (Deadly Class, Episode 2 - Noises, Noises, Noises)