dearchennie

[dearchennie]

To my dearest Chen...

I never knew that I will be writing this letter to you this soon. My tumblr name will be put to good use since I will be addressing this letter to you.

Dear chennie,

Upon reading your handwritten letter dedicated to your fans, the first reaction that my body did was to shed tears. Tears that I couldn't control. But as I dug deeper into your letter, I realized how sincere you were and how much you wanted to share this part of your life with us. Putting myself in your shoes, I know how hard it is to share this news to your fans despite of it being a good news. Your love for us radiated in your letter. You were apologetic though you didn't have to. One thing that I can promise you Chen is that, I will never leave your side. I loved you because of your talent. I loved you because of your personality and most of all I loved you because you are an angel that we do not deserve yet you do not make us feel unworthy of your love because you show it to us in every smallest detail that you possibly can. I didn't love you because you were single. I didn't love you because you are handsome. I loved you because you are you. I love you. Always have and always will. No matter what status you are in, single or married. No matter how many kids you will have in the future. I will love you, the person you love and your soon to be little Chennies. Because that's how love should be, selfless and without conditions. So I hope that you'll be happy no matter what. I'm so proud of you and thank you for sharing this news yourself. I love you to the moon and back ❤

[dearchennie]

You may not be able to read this but hear my words with your heart. In my life, I never found someone who comforts me and gives me joy through his songs. You are and you always will be my lullabye. Soon, I too will be able to find the love of my life just like how you found yours. And when that time comes, you will be the one playing on the speakers while I walk down the aisle. Jongdae, you deserve to be happy. You don't know how much happiness you brought in my life. I will forever be your dandellion, your soondingie, your exo-l 💕

[dearchennie]

To my dearest Chen...

I never knew that I will be writing this letter to you this soon. My tumblr name will be put to good use since I will be addressing this letter to you.

Dear chennie,

Upon reading your handwritten letter dedicated to your fans, the first reaction that my body did was to shed tears. Tears that I couldn't control. But as I dug deeper into your letter, I realized how sincere you were and how much you wanted to share this part of your life with us. Putting myself in your shoes, I know how hard it is to share this news to your fans despite of it being a good news. Your love for us radiated in your letter. You were apologetic though you didn't have to. One thing that I can promise you Chen is that, I will never leave your side. I loved you because of your talent. I loved you because of your personality and most of all I loved you because you are an angel that we do not deserve yet you do not make us feel unworthy of your love because you show it to us in every smallest detail that you possibly can. I didn't love you because you were single. I didn't love you because you are handsome. I loved you because you are you. I love you. Always have and always will. No matter what status you are in, single or married. No matter how many kids you will have in the future. I will love you, the person you love and your soon to be little Chennies. Because that's how love should be, selfless and without conditions. So I hope that you'll be happy no matter what. I'm so proud of you and thank you for sharing this news yourself. I love you to the moon and back ❤

[dearchennie]

Love Words

Words that are awkward to say

Words that could have made you stay

I'm not sure why I can't tell you

My heart's singing loudly but my mouth's all glued

I try to express the words I love you 

But I get goosebumps every time I try to 

Up until now I can't tell you personally 

I hope these words of love will reach you eventually

[dearchennie]

I’ll be there

I still remember you from time to time. Whenever I visit a place where we were usually together, I still see the memories I had with you. I still pray for you, constantly, wondering how your life is without me. I am still reminded of you in every single thing I do because we always did things together. Sometimes, I walk past a store and I see us, our memories of buying things together. I walk past our favorite fast food chain and I see us eating and giggling because the couple on the next table are too sweet and we don’t like it that much. I see you not able to finish your drink and I ask for half of it and you willingly give me because you can’t finish it either way.  I walk past the school and I see us walking on each other’s side, trying to match each other’s steps because we both don’t want to be alone. I walk past the mall where we usually go on our breaks and I see us looking for shoes and asking each other how good they fit. We try to match what we buy just to show everybody that we’re best friends. 

With all the memories that we shared together, I thought it will be forever. But you found someone better than me. Someone whom you could share your memories together aside from me. Someone who could be with you for the rest of your life. And that’s the moment you walked past me. You walked past me and you never looked back. You never asked me how I was. You never looked at me and asked me if I feel lonely. You were so busy finding your own happiness that you forgot that you once shared it with me. You walked away. And I let you. I let you run as far as you could because I didn’t want to hold you back. I didn’t want to be the reason for you to get hurt. Actually I was afraid. I was afraid that when the time comes that you needed to choose between us, you will never choose me. And you did. You ran away from me. And I let you. Not because I was angry at you for leaving me. Not because I was upset that you left me. But I was pretty sure that you were happy. You were so happy that you forgot about me.

But don’t you worry, once you remembered me, I will still be there where you left me. I’LL BE THERE but not as someone who you can be with as you grow older but as a memory that you can cherish for the rest of your life.

[dearchennie]

Portrait of You

Our memories are blank pages

Of the book I started to write

They only exist in my mind

Never happened, never did

I'm cherishing this one portrait

The two of us on each other's side

Your smile was just enough

To make me fall in love

Just like that picture, we'll eventually fade

But I'll hold on to our memories

You love me in my reverie

I love you in reality

[dearchennie]

April, and a Flower

It was one spring in April

When you caught my eye

Walking on the path of grass like an angel

You were looking so shy

I was so entrapped by what I see

I didn't notice you were looking at me

Your lips curled and then you blushed

I looked elsewhere and I told my heart to shush

You timidly made your way towards me

My heart began dancing wildly

You handed me a rose you picked somewhere

And that was the start of my April, and a flower

[dearchennie]

Beautiful Goodbye

I wish we had that

i wish you told me honestly

i wish you cared

i wish you chose me as well

i wish you don't resent me

i wish you were not hurt deeply

i wish i know how you felt

I wish I know why you left

I wish we had that

A beautiful goodbye

Or even if it wasn't

I just wish you told me why