Jade watched as a half-carat diamond flashed on Aprilās ring finger. April, recently-engaged, popped several mushroom caps between her naturally straight teeth. Her nose and eyes scrunched up with disgust at the psychedelicsā bitter flavor as she chewed as little as possible before swallowing.
The young women had met in ceramics class just a month before and were now snowed in by a freak blizzard in Aprilās cozy apartment. Aprilās fiancĆ©e, Evan, was spending the weekend visiting his brother down south and she appreciated her new friendās company. Both women had recently moved to the area and had had difficulty making friends. Jade had been given the shrooms by her cousin and was waiting for the ideal occasion to share them. Once April and Jade realized that automotive travel was null and the internet was down, the two had agreed that it would be an opportune evening to nibble some hallucinogens and go out exploring in the fresh snow.
While Jade munched slowly and didnāt mind the musty, earthy taste of the shimmery gold-capped mushrooms, April chased them hastily with orange juice and bites of kiwi fruit. Jade was overjoyed to have met April yet she felt shy around her, for fear of losing her only friend. It seemed her loneliness was gradually growing satiated. They smiled at one another. Within the hour, they would begin to feel the effects; colors and thoughts would become tangible beyond description.
April sat and rolled a J. The young women passed it back and forth, inhaling its dry vapors and exhaling cobalt-tinted clouds, as they pulled on layers and layers of warm clothing. Finally, they stood ready by the door. In the time since ingesting, the sky had darkened to the pale grey-orange of a cloudy stratosphere polluted with artificial light. Jade wore a tan down jacket and white snow pants. She pulled a blue wool hat over her thick, frizzy hair. April had on her black snow-bibs, a bright green jacket, and a pink scarf covering her nose and mouth. Her pure blue eyes met Jadeās smile and the two giggled as they stepped out into the snowy, polar world.
It was as if they were on a different planet. Neither Jade nor April had ever experienced much snow in their lives. Flurries and flakes fell in silent heaps on every surface, transforming the apartment complex into a pure and sparkling sanctuary. Cars had become soft, gentle shapes, snoozing in their numbered spaces like large albino buffalo. Railings and stairs were no longer rectangular; their normally sharp angles were softened by the snow.
Closing the door securely behind them, April and Jade began their mission: a mile walk along neighborhood trails to a natural food store. Once away from the roads and buildings, Jade could feel her senses heightening. Her dilated pupils followed the delicate shadows running across the snow without marring its surface. An occasional flake would land on her sclera in a sharp frozen moment, but was easily blinked away. The path wound through tall evergreens. Normally green with moss, the accumulated blanket of white encased their trunks.
āIt feels like Narnia,ā she said softly.
āYeah,ā said April. āIām half-expecting the White Witch to pop out behind a tree any second.ā
āAslan, save us!ā Jade giggled. Her expression became contemplative. Ā āItās all so equally foreboding and welcoming.ā
They continued wandering along in silence, intending to disrupt the calm as little as possible. The ice glittered flirtatiously at them and the girls shimmered smiles back. Filled with euphoria and curiosity, they felt this sensation increase gradually as snow continued drifting down. April realized she had been examining a tree trunk for some time. Her hand was on its bark and she could feel energy flowing from the ground, up the trunk, through her arm, and down into the ground again. She looked over at Jade, who was seated on the edge of the trail just a few yards away. Jade sat cross-legged in lotus facing a frozen creek. April approached her gradually. Jadeās breathing was slow and deep and shimmering tears glided down her beaming face. Eventually, Jade turned and looked into Aprilās mildly concerned face.
āThoreau was so right,ā she said, grinning. She knew April wouldnāt understand the connection of sitting before an icy creek just like her hero, Henry D., had done by Walden Pond. Nonetheless, the words had to be said to be remembered.
April helped her to her feet and the two continued forwards, picking their way through the polar woods.
It was difficult to judge the passing of time with accuracy, but a satisfying series of moments later, the pair turned a corner to see the dazzling mecca of a natural food store. They trudged, laughing, across the thick snowfall on the parking lot. Tall, buzzing lights highlighted snowflakes as they wound their paths through the parky air. Some cars lingered in the lot like giant drowsy polar bears, while a green tractor growled along, shoving heaps of snow at the far end of the lot. The grocery storeās brilliant green sign shone like the Emerald City of Oz or Daisyās malachite dock light. Jade couldnāt decide which was more accurate. Snow had gathered right up to the glass doors, which she yanked open. The pair readjusted their wide, wide eyes to the fascinating rainbow array of various vegetables in bins before them. The distorted faces of strangers seemed to peer at them like strange birds. They removed their gloves and unzipped their heavy coats.
After a minute or two of stepping carefully through the nearly empty aisles, April turned to Jade. āYou know, food doesnāt sound very enticing right now.ā
āSame here. Ready to walk back?ā asked Jade.
April nodded. Rezipping their layers, they began a leisurely pace out of the store and back onto the trail to Aprilās apartment where it would be warm, not that either of them could feel the temperature in their current states.
April led Jade on a slightly different trail this time. They stumbled upon a clearing which held a play structure. Slides, wobbling bridges, ladders, fire poles, and more stood tall in the snow. April and Jade explored these man-made structures in the soft light of the winter night.
āIāll go down the slide if you do,ā said April, looking at Jade.
Jade shrugged, but was inwardly delighted at the invitation. āIām in.ā
To anyone who chanced to be passing through the woods that night, two loud shrieks could be heard followed by fits of giggles radiating from that little clearing. The girls stood, brushed off a little snow and left the play structure behind, following the icy stream once more.
After a few minutes, April peeled off her gloves and stopped for a smoke break. Jade had climbed halfway up a tree when she heard a loud gasp from Aprilās direction.
āEverything ok?ā Jade called out.
āJade! My ring!ā said April. āMy ring is gone. Fuck.ā
Jade climbed down meticulously and crouched next to April. There had been many occasions when Jade was with people who had various substances in their bloodstreams. She knew they had a tendency to blow things out of proportion or misplace important items in their own pockets. April, meanwhile, was searching frantically through the snow for her diamond engagement ring. She ripped through each of her many pockets, her pack of cigarettes, and sleeves searching for the lost rock.
āIs it in your glove?ā asked Jade.
āNo! Itās not anywhere,ā said April, her voice unusually quiet and coarse as if she suddenly had pebbles in her throat.
Jade joined April in digging through the snow. It quickly became clear that the ring wasnāt there.
āIt must have fallen off elsewhere,ā said April.
Jade heard the alarm in her voice. āYouāve had your gloves on most of the night. It has to be at your apartment or at the store.ā
āSomeone will have stolen it! That ring is worth a lot. I have to find it.ā
āIāll walk back to the store in the morning and see if itās been turned in, but Iām sure you must have taken it off at your place. I remember you twisting it around your finger before we left.ā said Jade confidently.
April barely heard her. āIām going back to the apartment to look for it.ā She stood up and charged down the trail, with Jade rushing to keep up. While April raced at the pace of a trail-horse following the scent of alfalfa back to her barn, Jadeās mind was far too engrossed in her surroundings to keep up with her friend. She delighted in each pine needle, was mesmerized by the way light lay across the soft snow, and reached out her long pink tongue to slurp cold ice off of sharply pointed leaves. Intoxicated as she was by her environment, Jade tried her best to stay focused on her companionās anxiety. She didnāt want to add to the stress.
At last they stepped out of the trees to see Pine Court Apartments. April dashed up the steps and tore open her door. Jade followed, noting the increased quantity of snow which had accumulated on the steps in their absences. April ran her eyes over every counter and table in her small home. She yanked drawers open, looked under pillows, and threw stray blankets and jackets every which way in a mad hunt for the ring. Jade attempted to help but was too overwhelmed and became very aware she would begin to have a bad trip if she stayed inside much longer.
April glanced at Jade. āYou ok?ā
āApril. Iām so sorry. I want to help you look, but I think I need to be outside,ā said Jade. The two made intense eye contact which transmitted absolute sincerity in ways words cannot. Jade could tell April wanted to be away from all these objects and under the trees, too. But April could do nothing until she found that ring.
āI totally understand. Be safe.ā
April returned to the search. Meanwhile, Jade wandered about.
She built snow sculptures and trudged through deep snowfall, leaving windy twirling curving tracks behind. With the gentle ground below her and open sky gently sieving down snow from above, Jade felt at ease once again. She thought of April who was currently terrifying: full of hot anger and contagious anxiety. Jade wanted so much to share this perfect snowy scenery with someone, and thought briefly of her ex-boyfriend, with whom she had last eaten shrooms. She shook away his face and imagined a friend by her side. This person would be the best of company and rescue her from this excruciating loneliness. This nameless individual would laugh with her on good days and sit with her on bad ones. It was at that moment that Jade realized this person did exist, and that she needed her help. April must be feeling just as alone as I am. Perhaps they could be the solution to their shared solitude. April was lost on stormy seas and Jade was looking for a garden in the desert. She would have to swallow her impulses and return to the apartment to help her friend.
It was then that she felt a tickling sensation near her stomach. Her gloved hand felt a vibration coming from her left pocket. She pulled out her cellphone, flipped it open, and heard Aprilās strained voice: āI need you, man.ā
āIāll be there as quickly as I can.ā
Jade heard a moist sob before April hung up.
Within minutes, Jade was stepping back inside. All the lights were off, except a dim lamp in the corner which emanated red light across the ceiling. The air inside was hot and thick like the interior of a black car parked in the sun. Various items had been strewn across the floor and counter. Things were knocked off of small tables and drawers and cabinets hung open. Finally, Jadeās eyes found April. She was barely clothed and lying on her stomach across the couch, surrounded by the layers sheād been wearing. Jade removed her soggy shoes and jacket and knelt at her side. April had clearly been crying Ā for some time. Jade regretted leaving her alone for so long.
āYou donāt understand. Itās more than just a ring!ā April choked out . She sniffed loudly. Ā
Jade got up and returned with an offering of tissues.
After blowing her nose loudly several times, April continued. āIt cost three thousand dollars! Thatās an enormous amount of money for me to be carrying around on my finger. I didnāt even want something so expensive but he insisted I have the biggest diamond he could afford! Everyone is going to be so mad at me. I donāt want to have to tell them I lost it. Theyāre going to hate me. I should just break up with Evan now! Whereās my phone? Iām going to call him!ā
āThatās an enormous burden, to have that kind of responsibility,ā Jade thought aloud, though she felt quite timid in the presence of such an emotional display.
āExactly! I hate it. Why donāt people buy outdoor gear or something for the people they love instead of a ring? Think of what three thousand dollars can buy!ā
āMan, that would make so much more sense.ā Jadeās eyes wandered towards the ceiling as she counted on her fingers. āYou could get top-of-the-line Vasque hiking boots, a gravity water filter, a down sleeping bag, a nice pack, a climbing harness, and a super lightweight sleeping padā¦ and still have money left over. Think about all the incredible experiences and memories that equipment would make possible. All the places itād take you. That sounds like a way better way to express love.ā Jade sighed. āBut maybe it would be better not to spend the money on material goods. Because things are only things. They come and go.ā
April sniffed again. She sat up and looked around her. āI canāt stand all this stuff! Itās polluting me! I hate it!ā She began to sob again.
Jade looked at her gently, still crouched by April on the sofa. It occurred to her that April was depending on her to find a solution to this predicament. She stood and began folding a pair of pants as she said, āItās like that book we looked through last week, Be Here Now. You can only Be Here in this Now. Thatās all there is. Each of these things, your ring included, are merely objects. Theyāre all very temporary. And so are we.ā The words came to her from somewhere deep inside. She felt them flow out of trapdoors within her which had never been unlocked before. āWe canāt mourn the coming and going of material objects when there are far more important things to celebrate.ā Jade hung up jackets in the tiny broom closet by the door and continued in a calm voice which April found to be very soothing. She listened intently. Meanwhile, Jade was afraid to say the wrong thing and provoke April further, but she couldnāt keep the words from coming out.āThat diamond is simply a rock, made of minerals and atoms just like us. True, it may refract light in an especially alluring manner, but I think the light you shine is far more brilliant and Iām sure your fiancĆ©e would agree with me on that one. When he gets back from his brotherās house tomorrow, you can explain everything and Iām sure heāll understand completely. Anyone who would refuse to forgive you over a rock isnāt worth keeping around.ā Jade had moved into the kitchen and was washing the dishes in the sink.
The gears of Aprilās mind were whirring with these new thoughts. She watched with wide, red eyes as Jade came back to the living room began returning fallen objects to their proper places and organizing small items here and there. āYou know, there was this quote on the wall in one of my old English classes which has always stuck with me. It was Emerson, I think. āRings and other jewels are not gifts, but merely apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me.ā Or something like that. What he meant is that the only true gift is to give part of oneself: your talents, your time, your genuine effort. I think thatās beautiful. Oh, look.ā Jade had been tidying things on the coffee table when she had seen something interesting in a small ceramic container of Aprilās ritalin pills. She picked up the diamond ring and extended it to April who released a great volume of air from her lungs.
āI must have taken it off and put it in there for safe keeping while we were getting ready! I completely forgot! Oh my god!ā April slipped the ring on her thin, long fingers, then removed it and set it back carefully in her ritalin container. She sighed. āEvan and I certainly have plenty to discuss when he gets back.ā She looked around at her apartment: once a post-tornado trauma zone, now in order and void of stray rubbish.
Jade handed her another tissue and smiled warmly. April extended her slender arms and the women embraced. Out the window, earthbound snow continued to drift from the glowing clouds.
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