so this blog is probably going to go on an indefinite hiatus. my mental health's kinda in the dumps and i'm going to admit, my relationship with hockey is... kind of complicated right now.
WJC 2018 talk+somewhat general hockey culture talk under the cut, but tl;dr: my hockey fandom and morals are kind of at odds right now and I just need time to think on things.
I didn't post about the verdict initially because of my self-imposed "no hockey culture talk" policy, but... I don't know, I don't think this is something I can stay silent on right now.
This will be the *only* time I'll talk about the verdict on this blog. Any asks about it going forward will be deleted- I'd rather you just DM me instead.
There's no other way around it- this trial was, put simply, a fucking disaster from start to finish. I don't really know what to say that hasn't already been said. This trial could've been a reckoning for hockey culture and the NHL, but it wasn't. It set a precedent and not exactly a great one.
I will, however, say that this trial *has* been kind of a reckoning for me personally. It's pretty much destroyed *any* hope I had of hockey culture ever changing for the better, and... uh, that's been difficult to cope with. The trial and the discussion surrounding it have also kind of made me realize how much of a hypocrite I really am when it comes to these things, with me being mad at the verdict while also having 'favs' that go against my own core ideals (Thomas and Kyrou who were also on the 2018 team and probably knew about the event, Patrick Kane who has his own laundry basket of issues, Oshie who's MAGA, you get the idea).
I don't really know how to properly explain it, but... the whole thing has kind of made me realize I have some self reflecting I need to do in regards to my fandom and my own faves.
As for the upcoming season... I'm still debating if I want to even pay attention this year. I definitely won't be going to any games or buying any merch, though, and I honestly recommend yall do the same unless by some miracle the NHL implements some sort of domestic violence/sexual assault policy. I know the NHL has barred the five players, but I don't see that mattering in the end. Let's be real; they're going to be allowed back in eventually, just like Quenneville and Bowman were.
I wish I could end this on a lighter note. I wish I had some things to say that might be hopeful, I wish I had some happier things to say. But sadly... there's really nothing positive that's going to come from this. Unfortunately there's really no silver lining here at all. I'm sorry this isn't such a happy post. I wish I had more uplifting things to say, I really do. All I can ask is that you take care of yourselves in anyway, and to not drive yourselves crazy with this.
And most importantly, my heart goes out to E.M. and anyone who's a victim of assault. I'm sorry the justice system failed you. I'm sorry the world failed you. I wish there was more that could be done, if *anything* could be done at this point.
