Delirium Desiderium

Kiss me. Fuck me. Hurt me. Love me. Please...

[desideliriumx]

I need someone to hurt me so bad right now

The sensation is ridiculous

Please hurt me

I give everything to you

[desideliriumx]

Addict

I feel 

like an addict

without a drug

all of the misery

without a high to chase

[desideliriumx]

Wrong

“Is something wrong?”

oh. no, no. nothing’s wrong. 

“Okay, as long as nothing’s wrong. We’ll talk another time, k?”

yeah, don’t worry, everything’s fine. no problem. 

“okay! <3 goodnight!”

night! <3

She starts to cry. 

[desideliriumx]

Pain

I imagine

bent double on the floor, blows raining from all sides as my hands move frantically, not knowing whether to protect my head or my sides, to hide what hasn’t yet been hurt or to hold on to what has. 

I imagine

you filling me up so full it hurts, and then going a little bit more

I imagine

squeezing, pinching, twisting, stabbing, biting, scratching on the most sensitive of nubs, the sharp pain excruciatingly delicious

I imagine 

your nails digging into my skin, your teeth bitting into tender flesh

I imagine

they say you can’t have light without dark and you can’t have pleasure without pain and the deeper your lows, the higher your highs will be.

So make me scream both ways  

[desideliriumx]

Her

That look in your eyes, your signature icy stare, sends shivers down my arms, a clenching in my heart and a flash of heat travelling straight down. 

Your impassive mask gives nothing away and my mind scrambles to fill in the gaps on it’s own, whipping myself into internal despair, imagining your anger, disdain, disgust just waiting to pour forth on to me. 

I want to cling to your feet and apologise, to beg you to forgive me, whatever is it I’ve done, please, I won’t do it again! I’ll be better next time! Please...

I fight down the urge and struggle to regain my composure.

A sudden flash of movement, I cry out and find myself on the floor, the side of my head starting to throb and tears springing to my eyes. I quickly bite down on my lips, regretting the noise I’d made. A swift kick to my side makes me double in pain, but I’m ready this time and make no sound. I’m grimacing from the faint throbbing at the side of my head and the sharper pain in my ribs, but inside I’m grinning. 

“That was for calling out.” you say, your voice low and level. It made me think of strong steel bars that make up the foundations of buildings. 

You were standing over me, but now you’re kneeling, right beside me and you forcefully drag me into an upright position using my hair, then jerk my head backwards.

“What do you say?” you almost whisper, your mouth so close to my ear. 

“T-Thank you, mistress.” I croak out. 

“ Look at me.” The commanding tone in your voice sends currents through my limbs. I open my eyes and stare into yours, losing myself in their depths. 

“Don’t stop.” a whisper this time, almost pleading, as you place your strong hands around my neck and start to squeeze. 

I look lovingly into your eyes, knowing what was coming, knowing you loved it as much as I did, knowing you needed it as much as I did, knowing we gave it to each other willingly. 

[desideliriumx]

Pointless

Sometimes its really hard to see

why we should even bother

to... anything.

Sometimes its really hard to keep

myself trying, from just stopping, freezing, dying

if only stopping, freezing, dying were that easy

if only losing the will to live meant you stopped living.

Sometimes the darkness is tempting, it beckons, calling sweetly. 

Sometimes you want to give in and give up. 

If only giving in and giving up didn’t need as much energy as moving on. 

[desideliriumx]

Escape

Just words. Just words, they paint a whole world, an entire universe. That I can slip into, enter and drown in. 

It’s unreal, this world. Far removed from reality and realistically I know I can’t possible want any of those terrible things, that darkness, in real life. 

And yet how positively delicious they are. How they make me yearn, how I long for more.

How I long for our worlds to flip and this mundanity be fantasy and that dark and twisted realm filled with delicious pain and electrifying emotions be my reality. 

I wish for her to be real, to be mine, for her to hurt me, for me to love her anyway, for the intoxication and the high. 

I’ll be yours, mistress.  Yours to do as you please. 

Please make it hurt. 

[desideliriumx]

Smile

To see you smile if only for a while To warm my heart Before we part and I'll say goodbye to you once again. 

I catch your eye you hold my gaze I  am afraid to let it linger have I held it too long?  Shy and bashful Your eyes are warm and soft and smooth and welcoming 

Or so I imagine

They hold secrets  and in my gaze, your gaze I tell you mine

Or so I imagine

I want to tell you I imagine I do, I am, I have Surely you can see it  From the way I look at you From the way my gaze lingers From the way I lose myself (or want to) In your eyes

I want to

To see you smile If only for a little while It warms my heart Then we shall part And I'll break my gaze Once again. 

[desideliriumx]

sitting next to you 

my upper arm against yours

i eye the slight curve of your thighs next to me

in your jeans

the way you sit 

with legs spread wide

I visualize resting my hand casually on your thigh

stroking up

cupping your inner thigh

stroking higher

your face so close to mine

i think about reaching over with my left

holding your cheek and turning your head to face mine

to plant a kiss on your warm, soft lips

then and there 

in the cab

remembering you asking

"then why didn't you start"

makes me want to do it so bad

but reality is too strong

and reality always holds me back

being sandwhiched between the two of you was even better

so that's how it feels like, i thought

like a king. 

[desideliriumx]

Poison

You're poison. 

We opened pandora's box, and you're poison to me. 

The way you make me feel, you're poison. 

Like a moth to a flame, poison. 

Can't get you out of my head, like poison. 

Can't stop wanting you, even though you're poison. 

Bad things happen, toxic emotions, poison. 

Still I want more wish I had more can't you give me 

more of your poison

I miss 

Your poison

[desideliriumx]

I know you want it

C'mon, I know we'd be good together. 

I know you know we'd be good together. 

I know you know I know we'd be good together. 

All three of us. 

We could be in that bed right now. 

All three of us.

C'mon. 

I stare at your luscious lips. Slightly parted, and wet. I watch the curve of your thighs extending from that tight, sexy number you have on tonight. I wonder how it makes you feel, wearing something like that. Hot and desirable and yet... a fish out of water? I can't imagine that that feeling would ever go away, even as you get more used to acting more feminine. But we both know that's not who you are. 

You can get used to pretending, but it doesn't change the fact that you are. 

That's not my problem, though. 

All I can think about is how much I need some physical contact right now. The alcohol is accentuating that feeling. It's making me bolder-- I let my gaze linger at your hemline, I let my thoughts stray-- but not bold enough. We're not alone, after all... 

[desideliriumx]

Morning After

The image lingers in my mind It's edges blurry, but memory stark.

It's not a false memory, neither is it inaccurate Nonetheless It's not what my eyes actually saw. An extrapolation.

A postcard of a holiday  Or perhaps a posed snapshot  Rather than the actual thing.

In my mind I view as though an observer to the scene:

My gaze casually follows as she potters around the room Feeling comfortable, content, relaxed.  As though nothing out of the ordinary is happening, has happened. 

I'm seated up on the bed, having just been lying down I hold the covers casually to myself, covering my front While my back remains naked and exposed. 

You're lying beside me Or beside where I had just lay  You reach out to touch my back Matter-of-factly? Quizzically? Curiously? 

I try to imagine the scene through your eyes A naked torso, not your lover's, right in front of you.  How different does it look? How new, novel, exciting? Does it hold appeal for you? My bare back, my skin? 

What were you thinking? That morning, in the light of day, no louder shrouded in darkness, as you reached out to touch me? What did you think? 

The edges are blurry, the image itself touched up and filled in, perspective shifted. 

But the memory stark; of you, reaching out for me. 

[desideliriumx]

Caress

Trail my fingers lightly down your face-- brushing your ear, tracing your jaw line and then, gingerly, over your lips. Trembling, hardly daring to make contact. Precious, sacred, these soft and warm parts of you. Slowly, your lips part-- my fingers touch hard teeth, then--ohhh, your moist, soft tongue. You suck on my finger tips, then take the whole of my finger, two fingers, three, in your mouth, gently sucking, pulling them further in until they are all inside of you, along their full length. I relish the warm, wet caress of your tongue-- such a strange texture-- around and over my sensitive fingers-- I give them willingly to you. 

[desideliriumx]

Hate

And you have no idea, no inkling , how much I hate you still. 

How much I hate you. I hate you has much as I loved you, and I loved you more than I loved anything else. 

Every thing about you that I loved, all the good and the bad, every silly quirk, awesome talent and endearing character flaw; now flipped into something for me to hate with a vengeance, with venom. 

How should it be that you can remain blissfully ignorant? While I plunge into darkness, still struggling with its oily tendrils after all these years. You never gave me a backward glance, much less tossed me a life buoy. 

I'd think to myself that it was such a waste that I didn't have sex with you. If you weren't going to be my forever, the least you could have done was be my experience. What a fool I was to wait patiently, ever patiently for you, respecting your boundaries. You and your holier-than-thou morals, morals with no substance or backbone. Why do you even believe what you do? You don't even know. Simply brainwashed and conforming, not because you don't know better but because you're a coward. An escaping coward... 

When I'm feeling especially hateful, when I'm substantially submerged in those dark waters, I imagine myself holding you down, pinning you down, against your will. Taking what I should have taken back then. Forcing kisses on your unwilling lips. Touching you where you don't want to be touched. I'm smaller than you, but I'm sure I'd have the strength to hold down your hands, and the power to make you uncomfortable, make you squirm, make you fear. 

When I'm physically near you, it can be infuriating, how close you are and how indistinguishable it can be from the past; I could, technically, just reach out to take your hand, gently, just as I'd always done for three years. I could, technically, place my hand lightly around your waist. The actions in my head come so naturally, as they came naturally, a three year habit.

But I can't. The invisible barrier taunts and mocks aggravates the creature from the black swamps... I can't? To hell I can't, I'll show you 'I can't'.   

It's ingrained into us that rape is one of the worst crimes there is. When you read accounts, the perpetuators sound like the worst kind of monsters. 

In my head though, in this scenario, it feels natural. A natural albeit physical expression of my anger, the extent of my anger. It's not about the rape. I never actually get as far as the actual deed, in my imagination. That's not the point, not the focus. It's merely the means. It's about wanting to hurt you as much as you've hurt me. It's about wanting you to feel as terrible, traumatized, scarred as I feel. It's about wanting you to feel as helpless, overwhelmed and drowning as I did. To leave a mark. 

It's about wanting to do to you physically what you did to me emotionally. 

Of course, I'd never do it, not even close. You'll never even ever know how much I hate you. You can stay, unaffected and smiling in the sun, splashing in clean waters and I'll watch you from here as I continue to try to wipe the back stains off my skin and where they pool in my scars. 

[desideliriumx]

First Time

The first time you asked, I was embarrassed but eager. 

We were siting out in the open, at the entrance of a busy mall. There were people everywhere-- it was a normal Friday night. It didn't turn me on, not at first. Like you said (and pretended to mean it), it was just talk between friends, no big deal. 

Sure, perhaps it's slightly less than ordinary for regular friends to interrogate each other about their sex and porn habits, especially in a crowded, public space. Perhaps it's even less ordinary if the female friend you're interrogating happens to be gay, and your own girlfriend happens to be out of the country at that moment. 

Perhaps. But I was more caught up by the act of sharing secrets and emotional closeness than I was excited by the content. 

On the way home, we continued to trade questions, worrying about weird looks we might have on our faces, staring at our phones and typing away. 

You kept asking, aren't you turned on by us talking about all this? 

You kept asking me if I was going to do it... 

The moment I let myself finally entertain your questions and their implications, the floodgates opened. The thought that you were thinking about me-- wondering, imagining, if I was touching myself, and the thought that that thought was turning you on... was enough to start a stirring in me as I entered the bathroom for a shower. Thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you while we both, separately...   

Later, in bed with my laptop on my lap, you asked me what I was looking at, you wanted to know, to see, to look at the same thing I was seeing. Together, but apart, we scrolled and chatted into the night, reluctant to let the day end and go to sleep. 

The line had been crossed, but I didn't care, didn't think to care. The next morning, at your request, I sent a sext for you to wake up to. 

[desideliriumx]

EroticArts is a new place to read and post exciting short sex Stories in a clean and uncluttered manner. Bear with us while we sort out categories to make

[desideliriumx]

For X

Please, I breathe into your ear, my lips brushing your lobe. I take it gently between my lips, then flick at it with my tongue before taking it in my mouth and sucking softly. 

I feel your breathing quicken and your hand moving on my back, stroking with increasing intensity. Reaching lower, you slip your hand under and past the band of my panties and cup my right cheek.

I trail kisses over your jawline, my lips finally finding their destination as they meet with yours. The softest of touches, I take my time to feel the texture of your lips with mine. You part your lips and yearn upwards, just slightly and I respond by running my tongue, warm and wet, sensuously over your lower lip, then in a sudden movement engulfed it in my mouth, sucking hard.

You have both hands against my ass now, clenching and relaxing, clenching and relaxing. I feel your right hand reach further, a finger or two rhythmically brushing against my opening from below. 

I shift my weight, now with my full body directly over yours and cover your mouth fully with mine. Lightly at first, then deeper and harder. I feel your tongue thrusting eagerly into my mouth, my own pushing back roughly, thoroughly enjoying the sensation and texture.

I break away from your mouth and kiss you quickly on the tip of your nose, on your lips, on your chin... and start to make my way downwards.