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@dethrown
There’s going to be an obscene amount of satisfaction in watching all of the people that Vaira has strung along realize, one after the other, that I was entirely justified in my vendetta against her. It almost makes this stupid game worthwhile. Almost.
Part of me is almost a little disappointed I have to kill Vaira. It feels like a waste of talent. And, more importantly, of someone to pester.
It seems I did care after all.
How many others of us are there? How many contingencies, how many children, how unimportant was I this whole time?
And here is the death of what little trust I had left in you.
Every day, I feel as if I can’t get any closer to snapping, and every day I am proven dead wrong.
Nothing quite as frustrating as cowards with their heart in the right place.
I’m a creature powered entirely by anger, spite and fear. Which, I’m not going to lie, I believed to be a good thing at first. But now that it feels as if it’s corroding me from the inside out, well, I can’t say that’s true anymore.
It’s time for a new strategy.
I can cross “arrested on murder charges” off the bucket list, it seems.
I could torch it all. Fade into obscurity. Start again elsewhere.
Just how long can one be crushed under the heel of kismet, immovable and unrelenting, before they gather the determination, the grit, to roll up their sleeves and wrestle it to the ground.
Just how much longer can I survive an existence stifled by a city that is not my home, by allies that are not my friends, by peers that are not my equals, and by enemies that are not my responsibility.
What a miserable existence this is.
Well, as my father used to say, if God won’t kill your enemies then you’ll just have to manage on your own.
My life would be far, far more bearable if a very long list of people were to meet sudden and inexplicable ends. But unfortunately, it seems as if God isn’t answering my calls, so I doubt anyone will be smitten any time soon.
That was a brief respite from the widening chasm of my insurmountable rage.
It’s the little things.