"Oh, there you are!" it was barely a whisper in a sea of chattering and ambiance music but Tsukishima heard it nonetheless.
Yamaguchi walked on strides, almost skipping as he head towards the table where his bestfriend was seated. Tsukishima tried to take this all in. It had been a good while since they last met.
'When did we last meet?' He wondered.
"Sorry for being late. I got held up at work. Did you order already?"
'He has a strange glow to him,' Tsukishima thought. He hated to admit it to himself but the way the setting sun illuminated Yamaguchi's face, and how his freckles looked like the early stars that shine during sunsets knocked the wind out of his lungs.
He blinked his eyes and sighed, trying to ground himself back to reality.
"No, I haven't. Shall we order?"
He dreaded the day they would meet again. Afterall, they did not exactly end on the best of terms. He doesn't even know when their fallout happened. But when he came to acknowledge it, it was too late. Yamaguchi just disappeared.
Then, a week ago, he contacted Tsukishima out of the blue, asking if they could meet. The latter thought, 'If you had my contact information, then why did you not contact me all these years?'
He rested his chin on his palm and glanced again at Yamaguchi who looked listless but is trying his best to calm down in his usual fashion of staring at signs to ground himself. The blonde almost smiled at the thought of his friend not changing, then it was followed with a thought of how much time passed between them.
'Well, I might as well cut to the case.'
"So? Why meet with me after all these years?" He hated how sharp his delivery was. As much as he is pissed, he didn't want to sound snarky. Afterall, he loves the man in front of him. He just wanted answers, is all.
"Kei?" Tsukki raised his brow, 'You stopped calling me that after elementary.' But hearing his first name rolling off Yamaguchi's tongue in such a gentle way made his ears burn, just a little.
Yamaguchi couldn't meet Tsukki in the eyes and his hands were clasped around a bottle of water, as if he's holding on for dear life.
"Sorry, it just gets confusing," he whimpered.
Yamaguchi stroked the bridge of his nose. He had practiced this conversation for the past week or so. In his mental exercises, this conversation went over smoothly. But the moment he saw the latter's wispy blonde hair and his ever resting pouting lips, his resolve wavered.
He took a deep breath and a faint smile escaped his lips when he thought, 'well, there's no use thinking about the what ifs now.'
He reached inside the inner pocket of his coat and handed Tsukki a scented gold envelope. The subtle waft of vanilla and jasmine triggered the alarms inside his head, which sounded a little too much like bells. He gulped before glancing over the words written in calligraphy.
'We are pleased to invite you to our wedding… Tadashi and Tsuki---ko'
Sinking would not be the best word to describe what happened to Tsukki's heart. More like it was spiked from the back row, something like a good pipe Daichi would pull in their most desperate moments; only to be blocked by the grittiest of hands, similar to his own, or that of Aone's; followed by a nice kick from esteemed libero's like Noya and Yaku to save it from dropping, and the volley never ended.
And it didn't help that he remembered one random thing an exchange student said to him in passing, 'oh so you add -ko as a suffix to a name for it to mean child? in my language, ko is a pronoun, meaning, mine'
My Tsuki… his Tsuki? What the fuck is he then, somebody else's?
Yamaguchi could not grasp the turmoil happening inside of Tsukkishima, afterall, he is used to seeing his brows-crossed, and he understands that this may be confusing for him so he tried to explain.
"Well, you see.. your names are kind of similar haha… surprising right? But she is not a complete stranger you know, you've--"
"Don't fuck with me. Why?" Tsukkishima could barely manage to say between gritted teeth.
"Uhmm… I met someone I want to marry?" was all the freckled one could manage to say.
Tsukkishima stood up, placed a bill under his glass of water, and yanked Yamaguchi out of the restaurant until they reached the empty lot adjacent to it.
"YOU SUDDENLY UP AND LEFT WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION, DIDN'T CONTACT ME FOR YEARS, AND NOW YOU'RE BACK TO SAY -- EXCUSE ME- YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE MARRIED?" he was finally able to yell all at once without the concern of causing a scandal.
The tension was unlike anything the both of them have ever experienced in each other's presence. Tsukkishima wanted to pull his hair and gasp for air but all he could manage to do in his state of shock and confusion is to knit his brows.
Yamaguchi, on the other hand, had been clasping the elbow Tsukkishima had just yanked, as if letting go would also release all of the unsaid words he had been meaning to say all this time.
With his head hung low, he had finally surrendered, the burning words are finally too hot for his throat.
"You're the one who put me in the back burner, remember." He managed to say audibly. Tsukkishima directed his eyes at him and saw the latter's eyes welling with tears.
"I mean… fuck, why are you so surprised? You left me there, waiting while you were looking for yourself," a dry, weary smile escaped from his lips "and along the way, you found Kuroo-san, Aakashi-san, Bokuto-san, and that dear captain you have in Sendai Frogs."
Yamaguchi raised his head to meet Tsukki in the eyes, although the hot streaming tears made it difficult to do so.
"You thought I didn't notice? Your secret rendezvous with Kuroo-san, which lasted our entire high school years." his voice cracked a little.
Supposedly, he would tell Tsukki about the wedding, Tsukki will be shocked but will keep mum about whatever thoughts he had and would congratulate him as respect for what they had, they would share a meal, and go their separate ways. That's what's supposed to happen.
Not this. Not remembering how he saw the warm honey eyes of the love of his life glint as the latter's stare lingered at the black-haired senior who took his time to visit them during their second-year training camp. Not remembering how his bile rose up to his throat as he witnessed it all.
Why did he have to vomit these bile-laced words that he had managed to swallow for the past few years. Why now when he thought he was finally okay enough to see him again.
"The way you and Akaashi-san would always meet during the training camps in second year, that one time with Kuroo-san too."
He caught Tsukki looking shocked. 'Bet you thought I didn't know.'
In Yamaguchi's defense, he didn't want to know, in fact, he deliberately avoided places he thought he'd see people doing intimate things. Not necessarily because of Tsukki, catching him was definitely the last thing on his mind -- and on such a conspicuous place too.
And he wished he was dead for a good while since that incident.
"The way your captain's gaze rests at you just a bit longer for it to just be casual." he managed to pull a wry smile; left hand clutching his beating chest, the other desperately pulling at his green hair.
His words were barely whispers but he was gasping all the same. He didn't want to say any of those at all. But strangely, he feels like he could breathe again. Like the fishbone stuck in his throat for years was finally lodged out and now he doesn't know how to breathe normally again. And the gasps are painful as the wound from the bone still stings but his brain acknowledges that from here on out, breathing will only come easier.
Tsukkishima could not respond. Afterall, they were all true.
Eight years ago, right around the end of their first Spring National Tournament, when the cherry blossom buds were just starting to thaw and the emotions that ran over everybody in the Karasuno Volleyball Club were just starting to settle, under the moonlit sky on the way home Yamaguchi confessed his feelings to Tsukkishima.
He intended to say it coolly and in passing, but his mental exercise didn't pay off and he was a blabbering mess when he said it.
And he couldn't have said it in a better way, or at least that's what Tsukki thinks.
Tsukki had always had a soft spot for his bestfriend that only the both of them are a witness to. May be it even became more apparent the more that he noticed Yamaguchi's feelings for him, which the latter at that time had yet to know.
He always knew but he didn't really think his bestfriend would have the courage to say it, let alone verbalize it. But the National Tournament jitters may have been all that he needed to muster up the courage.
He knew but he was not ready. But he wrapped his arms around Yamaguchi who was a sobbing mess and thanked him for having the courage to say his feelings.
Idk I passed out listening to Good luck, babe and wrote this.
tangentwithtanner
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
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2087
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