Dexorcist Trash

What the hell is Dexorcist? A crazy crossover by Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer Netflix) & Tomás Ortega (The Exorcist FX)

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #18

Tomás: I wish I could block people in real life.

Lucifer: There are restraining orders

Marcus: Or murder

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #17

Tomás and Marcus locked in a cellar without finishing an exorcism.

Tomás: Well, it's a good time to call Luci-

Marcus: Don't say it

Tomás: He could help us

Marcus: I said no.

Tomás: It's good to have an angel on our side-

Marcus: It wont happen

Tomás: Let's die here

Marcus: So be it

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #16

Lucifer: You don't remember what it is to be my age!

Tomás: LITERALLY YOU HAVE ALL THE EXISTENCE HERE!

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #15

Tomás: I guess I have a slight tendency to get in a bit of trouble.

Mouse: I guess?

Amenadiel: Slight?

Marcus: Tendency?

Lucifer: A bit???

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #14

Lucifer: Why have we known each other for a long time and you still haven't given me a blowjob?

Tomás: ...

Tomás: Because I'm straight, I'm a priest and we are friends. Friends don't do that.

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #13

Marcus: Has anyone seen Tomás?

Tomás: *lying on the floor, demon trip* Present.

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote 12

Lucifer: I came for Tomás, let's go out for a while.

Marcus: I want him at home at 10:00

Lucifer: *laughing* You're not his father

Marcus: And?

Lucifer: He will arrive when we finish. End of discussion.

Marcus: Don't challenge me, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Oh, come on. I am the devil

Marcus: *more threatening than any creation being* And I'm an exorcist, with a gun.

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #11

Lucifer: You're so beautiful, so perfect, that black makes you look fabulous. You've been through so much and still, you're still majestic. I will never leave your side, you are the love of my life.

Ella: Owww, that's so cute, you're very lucky, Tomás.

Tomás: He's actually talking to the Corvette.

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #10

Lucifer: Where is the violent gayspiritual?

Tomás: I don't know- Wait, you mean Marcus?

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #9

Tomás: A priest has no weaknesses

Lucifer: *appears with pizza and Chokis*

Tomás: Maybe he has three weaknesses

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #8

Tomás: He is the most insufferable of existence!

Linda: Calm down, he is not the devil

Tomás:

Linda:

Linda: Yes, I already realized my mistake

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #7

Amenadiel: Do you think Tomás can take care of Charlie?

Lucifer: I'm sure that Tomás cannot take care of himself

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #6

Lucifer: I love Mexican food.

Tomás: I love fish to the devil.

Lucifer: What the hell.

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #5

Tomás: God said "This is my son, eat and drink all of him"

Lucifer: I was not that son.

Tomás: Oh dammit.

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #4

Lucifer: cAN'T YOU BE MORE IMPERTINENT?!

Tomás: *entering the mind of a demon* Yep.

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #3

Maze: Morning, gays!

Tomás:

Lucifer:

Marcus: You don't want to say "guys"?

Maze: Nope, definitely.

[dexorcisthell]

Incorrect quote #2

Tomás: The Lord said "Under his wings you will be safe"

Marcus: I'm 100% sure he didn't talk about Lucifer.

Tomás: Just shut up.