leech

i feel like something bad is going to happen to me. I feel like something bad has happened. I hasn't reached me yet but it's on its way.

[diaphonizedbrain]

cozy games arent real and stardew valley is only medium good

[diaphonizedbrain]

maybe its what the dryer sounds like but it's making the heart race

[diaphonizedbrain]

feel insane theres a noise but mother didnt hear it and video wont pick it up

[diaphonizedbrain]

sad. youtuber youre subscribed to is shown to be less good at analysis than you assumed, after actually reading a book they cover before watching the video

[diaphonizedbrain]

how do people get jobs when theyre stupid and useless and cant drive and cant work more than 2 days in a row without burnout and even then its bad and should have committed suicide almost a decade ago jw

[diaphonizedbrain]

im so sad

[diaphonizedbrain]

reads a book and knows that due to some fault of the author its going to be read badly

[diaphonizedbrain]

whatever bugged her again the worst it can be is having to avoid her a few days bc shes annoyed. and probably not even that long just hate seeing her after shes mad. idk how long the half life on that is. sometimes hours sometimes days

[diaphonizedbrain]

the price on this shit keeps increasing + theres only 2 of the blades left

[diaphonizedbrain]

why are there 2 thinking about/worried about you messages within the same 10-20 minutes

[diaphonizedbrain]

the price on this stupid scalpel blade doubled idfk why the mother didnt just get it days ago when it was 20 total w blades now it's 30+ total and wont get them for ages and need them NOW

[diaphonizedbrain]

you were all cruel as fuck in response to something that I don't actually get. id understand if there was more beforehand, but nobody ever said anything. sorry that being paranoid and weird got the best of me. idrk how that went from 0-100

[diaphonizedbrain]

so many people have believed that I've done things I haven't done. stalker won't come clean. want to reach out to bexandmayaandwolf and say that

anything. why did you believe I was sending whatever vile messages you got ? why after months or years of time do you believe the worst ? why did you agree to be codependent and then not communicate boundaries and then suddenly have a ton of boundaries that I didn't know about

I know I'm the problem but you all enabled it so much and never talked and you're all so repressed why do I love people that can't communicate . why was it so good then suddenly so so bad?

ik we said dumb shit reactive. I don't get why it could not be addressed. I don't understand what is true.

I hope that none of you find this. I hope you all do. I hope my rotting fucking corpse haunts you. I hope you never think about me again and are at peace. I want to die unremembered and I want to haunt everyone. fuck fuck !

[diaphonizedbrain]

and i miss everything and everyone but also know as soon as they get over the initial hump of losing someone theyll be better off

this isnt even bringing into account the repetitive not a system spirals

and every other thing everyone has to deal with

im probably not a system, just a piece of shit with identity issues

who even cares.

[diaphonizedbrain]

like i probably wont kms. but i also dont know how to live. i cant be a good thing in anyones life . beyond that im actively awful . if I dont die, I should st least be functionally dead. no longer a burden.

[diaphonizedbrain]

dont apologize to me as though i deserve to even be alive. "sorry ive been busy" sorry i dont think ill live long enough to make it to your wedding. im gonna make sure stuff gets to you if I die. im sorry. you should not be sorry. im the fuckup here

[diaphonizedbrain]

is it 7pm or am