To be honest I don’t even know where to begin.
On the 29th of April 2017, me & my long time boyfriend had officially tied the knot. 4 straight eventful days celebrating me & Safiq and god knows how exhausted we were. Alhamdulillah things went really really well despite all the challenges that we had to go through before the wedding.
The month of April was just such an emotional rollercoaster for me. I felt like things were happening all at once, with no pauses in between. I felt like I was drowning, struggling to reach the surface for some air. But alhamdulillah at the end I got through with it. I could finally breathe. My back still hurts but I can actually see myself breathing slowly.
This weekend marks the second week of me becoming a wife. Such a weird thing to say out loud isn’t it? Gosh it seems like I really need to catch up on being in this position but I personally feel like the steps & progress should come from me and not from my surrounding. It really is overwhelming, and sometimes I couldn’t help but to feel soo much that it makes me wonder again again am I just overreacting? (pause)
On the actual day of my nikah I was so so nervous & everything felt so surreal to me. Like is it really happening? Abah was just so gabra that he sped up everything which I just didn’t get but whatevs, thank you Abah. (that’s another topic) But everything was just so lovely, friends & family were amazing, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Both receptions went really well & I think me & Safiq are still adjusting to the fact that we are actually a real married couple now.
But I like the fact that when we go out I get to dress up as somebody’s wife, a halal partner to my beloved husband. I like that we could work as a team & I like getting ready together. On the first night after our nikah, we prayed Maghrib together and during that time all I wanted was to cry and to hug you. It was so hard to grasp that after all these years of us being here & there that we have finally made it, I just couldn’t believe it. From Tumblr to this? MashaAllah. Isn’t God just amazing? Again and again I have to remind myself that this is an amazing gift that nothing or noone could ever replace. Alhamdulillah, yaAllah.
This is why I write. To remind myself how blessed I am, to retract myself from all those negative thoughts and to get myself back on track. This is new. Everything is new. & I know for a fact that I have always been optimistic about new phases and would treat it as an adventure! THIS IS THE NEW ADVENTURE, LA! DOESN’T IT FEEL AMAZING?!
It certainly does. Teehee. Don’t worry too much ya, D. It’s a new phase, new beginnings, obviously a new thing to adjust to. Today I woke up feeling anxious as **** that everything in my head had become haywire. You’re doing ok, slowly, you’re actually doing great. I hope we could continue praying together, and always always make doa for each other.
Here’s to new beginnings, a new phase after 5 years of dating (survived a long distance relationship, fun phase in London & post-London phase). Here’s to adjusting, to new family relationships, to moving into a new place together & to endure each other through thick & thins. HERE’S TO OUR NEW ADVENTURE S&D! I’d say BRRRING IT ONNNNN! <3
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