I am @djd0ugi3 - Tumblr Blog

I’ve been

I’ve been in one of those “not wanting to be alive” moods lately..

Like I’ll never make ‘that’ mistake again .. but I just feel like I don’t need to be here anymore and it’s really weighing on me

I don’t want to be alive anymore .. it hurts too much

cottoncandigoth

hey guys. does anyone know if its gonna be okay yet or

djd0ugi3

Maybe we can make it better together

I honestly don't know if I'll be alive much longer

This show is the best (for kids of course)

Depression to me is :

Having a voice in the back of my head 24/7 telling me to find a way to end it all.

Steal a gun from a family member.

Let my car drift into oncoming traffic.

Get a tank of helium and a plastic bag.

Put a hose in my tail pipe and park somewhere secluded.

Jump off the bridge.

Down that bottle of ibuprofen.

Take the blade, right in between the ribs and stab.

Tie a rope around my legs under my bed then around my neck and handcuff myself.

Those thoughts are literally in the back of my mind every single second of every single day.

Some days they creep to the front and I have to try and force them back.

It’s easier to do on some days.

That’s what depression is to me.

This is one of my all time favorite songs and music videos ..

The dark thoughts creep in out of nowhere and claim my brain like a shadow claims the light from the sun.

It’s one of those days where I am glad I never tried to register for a gun.

So many days sitting wallowing without being able to participate in the fun.

So many things I want but in the end it all eventually boils down to one.

One day without dark thoughts

One day without wanting to die

One day wanting to survive

One day I didn’t fight tears from my eye.

I wish every breath I took was my last

A dying last call for air I cannot grasp

Long tunnel leading to a white light

That slowly turns to dark out of spite

I had a dream so vivid

That I almost wish it was real.

I fought against the feeling

But it’s just how I feel.

A leap,

A pull,

A gassed filled nap.

Anything that takes me away

From always feeling trapped.

Every morning I wake up

And honestly wonder why,

I’m givin another day

To be forced to try.

Put on a brave face

And head into the day,

Instead of being underground

Rotting away.

December 2018 .. Tumblr is Dead.

because of your new rules .. I give it about 6 months until your numbers drop so low you're forced to give up and shut it down.

S

Slowly slipping into a silent sleep that sends me siding into a sadistically sad set of self sacrificing secluded sicknesses. Setting aside my own sorrowful secretive and selective suicidal tendencies, I sit silently stirring in my slightly sloaped shower staring into a starry sky silhouetted by a significant selection of silvery shaped clouds.

Slowly sliding into insanity as I look longingly over a horizon I see no future in,

Left my senses back on the shore a few feet from my fear of the unknown,

I drift along with the tides and wait patiently for something to come,

Teeth in the hundreds have come to see me undone.

thingssheloves-deactivated20151

djd0ugi3

I want to live ! (But I can't find the full gif)

did-you-know

Neurotic people live longer. Studies show those who are often stressed, get irritated easily, and worry about things tend to have longer life spans than people who are more laid back. Source Source 2

djd0ugi3

It's because God wants you to suffer through your neuroses.