The Bright Sessions
Color Me Curious
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Mike Driver
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
KIROKAZE
hello vonnie
#extradirty
gracie abrams
pixel skylines
Jimmy Eat World
Interview Vampire Daily
Sweet Seals For You, Always
macklin celebrini has autism
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Show & Tell
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@dominos-pizza-squad
I don’t know if anyone has ever done this before but, here ya go… The Different Types of Fanfiction!
I probably left a few out, but these are the most common, compared to their base fiction’s canon plot. Enjoy! XD
The crack fic is enough for a reblog.
then there are these favs…. ;)
always reblog
Um yes this is genius.
wow, i haven’t seen this since i was a lurker!
may i add
Medievalists of Tumblr: what inaccuracies annoy you the most in movies set in the Middle Ages?
Mine is probably the ‘everyone was constantly caked in mud and only wore grey and brown’ aesthetic.
Same. Also the idea that “women were property so they did nothing but sew and have babies and the time was inherently backwards and violent”
the complete absence of christianity from pop culture perceptions of the medieval period really bugs me (or it being relegated to the fringes and a few monks somewhere)
like… this was a major part of most people’s daily lives even if it didn’t necessarily look like christianity as we know it. also medieval theology is fucking wild! where are all the debates about cannibal babies in pop culture medieval stuff? WHERE is the twelfth century werewolf renaissance? the fuckign infancy gospels?? give me weird medieval theology you cowards
A lot of them had already been mentioned, so may I add
“The dishes were only bland soups and maybe some moldy bread”
I’m studying English language and literature, not History, but like… Pork vs Pig… Deer vs Venison… Cow vs Beef… May give you the idea THEY FUCKING ATE MEAT AT LEAST GODDAMIT
And not even like we do
Where’s the feast with venison? The ridiculous amount of salmon and other fishes? The little gardens full of spices? Or the trade of exotic foods? Slaughtering season was celebrated in some places not that much ago (like… I saw one when little), why not portray one?
And more importantly
WHERE’S THE CHICKEN WITH HELMET???
GIVE ME CHICKEN WITH HELMET OR GIVE ME DEATH
Yeah, and for better or for worse they were much less picky about which animals they ate than we are. Porpoise, anyone?
Medieval people loved their spices; The Forme of Cury has a lot of flavours I’d associate more with Indian food than anything else. Even if you weren’t a wealthy seasoning-loving king like Richard II, you could still have garlic, onions, and herbs.
Also please link me a picture of the chicken with helmet if you can, I need to see this.
Here it is
Here’s a link with more info. Apparently the dish is called Singing Chicken… But that’s a chicken with a helmet
In Medieval times, food was medicine, religion and status. And in Medieval feasts, an art-form The Medieval poor mostly ate pottage - basic
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.
Hollywood has a tendency to portray the past as “just like today, minus whatever of today’s things we know they didn’t have.” There’s no concept that the past had things that today doesn’t.
Like bawdy medicinal tips.
@candiceirae
The idea that people used spices to cover spoiled meat is similarly stupid and utterly infuriating.
And yes, the gaping absence of religion from depictions of the Middle Ages is jarring.
All of this, but mostly that they existed in a sepia toned world with no color, pattern, or texture.
Going off the colors of textiles, the assumption that their textiles were always crude and rough compared to today’s. Think of the twills and brocades! The cloth of gold! The silks, and the wool so gauzy you could see through it! The soft wool clothing! The quality and variety of fabric we have available has plummetted since the industrial revolution.
beyond conventional spices the medieval cook and especially the resourceful housewife would have been exploiting herbs by the fistfull on a level we today cannot comprehend, like we dont even know what some of the names of herbs they used even mean anymore and they grew them like suburban homeowners today grow ugly border hedges. whatever soups they had access to had a decent chance of being something that would be 100% locally grown and every bit as flavorful as any regonal dish today withiout having to resort to saying ‘well they could possibly have been eating curry’ instead of giving them a flavor identity of their own. just because ‘spice’ isnt readily available dont assume ‘flavor’ is out of reach, the aromatics they used would be on par with the modern french concept of mirepoix but, moving past the kitchen the two things that irk me are that everyone toiled miserably and everything was grey stone, rudely carved buildings, shoddy construction unadorned well yeah, if you went to a decrepit ruin thats been abandoned for centuries it would look like that, but not when people lived there! you see the shows and movies and sweet baby cheese the kings residence looks like a dank basement and sometimes he doesnt even have a change of clothes when castles were in use they were prominent displays of power and wealth, whitewashed so that even small amounts of light reflected well inside them so that they illuminated well, paintings and murals in a riot of colors and displaying personal tastes, tapestries that may be the local lords wife, aunt, or grandmothers gift to them as tappestry making was a popular hobby at court where women gathered to gossip and giggle while making vibrantly colored decorations that are usually dismissed because the only ones that survive had endured about 500 years of sun damage, smoke damage, and uncertain cleaning history
that clearly showed the people of the time valued color, had style, and only occasionally made horses look like a dog made out of play-doh. even people who didnt live in a castle still had access to paint to liven up the plaster walls of their homes, brightly dyed fabrics and flowers were as available to them as and they sang, constantly. what we assume was a life of toiling in the mud from dusk till dawn the whole year was typically a relaxed paced life of 10 hour a night sleep in a comfortable bed where work didnt start untill you had your flagon of ale and a song with your buddies as you walked to the field, you sang as you worked, took three ale breaks from work while singing, and then you sang as you walked to the tavern so you could sing while you played nine mens morris or cheated at mancala because you thought the miller was too soused to notice. we barely know any of the songs they sang and humanity is less for it, a scant handfull of them do remain and its just beautiful to hear what a table of tavern patrons would break into song about to prove they werent too drunk for another round song and story were all day every day, theres a reason the most well known middle english text was canterbury tales- whose narrative was that a selection of travelers on the way to the same location had an ongoing bar-bet about who could tell the better story, asking bartenders to judge the complexity of these stories, all of which were absolutely valid as just shit you would say to another drunk in a tavern, would give modern soap operas a swift kick in the pants and its sad that it takes a historian to tell you just how crass and lowbrow humor they were on a similar vein to how so many people somehow forgot that shakespear was lowbrow humor for the commoner and not somehow too sophisticated for rubes it wasnt just bards who would own an instrument, instruments are wood, leather, string, bone/horn, or even clay… those are all commonly available and affordable if not straight up FREE items to someone in the medieval world so a hefty chunk of the population would have an instrument and know how to use it, anything from a wood flute to a simple drum to an ocarina. many designs were even specifically for travel so you could always have it at the ready
how about this- in all the versions of robin hood i have -EVER- seen the most historically accurate any of them got was the scene in kevin costner ‘king of theves’ where friar tuck was singing to himself while on the road ‘women wine and whoring’. not just because its one of the only times in any medieval period movie ive seen someone singing to pass the time in the mind-numbing hours of traveling before the invention of the car radio, but ALSO because they based the tune he sings off the classic ‘ Bache Benne Venies’, the oldest known drinking song we still know the words and tune of and let me tell you that song slaps talk to me about historical accuracy in movies and ill tell you that tolkein writing hobbit songs for walking, drinking, or describing what an elephant was was more historically accurate then all of GOT passed through a sieve to collect every grain of stray element of medievalness gaily dressed hobbits full of pie, sitting in a well decorated room full of beautiful hand carved furniture, on their fifth ale, and singing about the man in the moon getting shitfaced is about ten times historically accurate as most anything else i can think of if you ignored the historical accuracy of them being hobbits
To be clear, when I say ‘like Indian food’, I’m not generalising or trying to deny them their own flavour profile, I’m talking about how Forme of Cury uses things like cardamom, ginger, and pepper that I’ve also had in curry or kheer. I’m just comparing it to the closest thing I’ve eaten, not saying the two are the same. My voice teacher did once make me a medieval French bean dish with duck and smoked bacon, and it was excellent.
But yeah, I know that some people get exasperated by the number of songs that Tolkien has in his books, but I really think it completes the world. It makes it feel fleshed out and more enjoyable and individual in its own right but also ties it to history. Singing is such an accessible pastime and I really don’t think people in fantasy do enough of it. (And as a bonus, Tolkien also gives us some Middle-earth lore in his lyrics. Which is great for the reader and also reflects how important an oral information-sharing tradition is within the world itself.)
I will say that even though I’m not a fan of many of the creative choices made in GoT, I can understand GRRM making his world in ASoIaF a bleaker place than is realistic because part of the whole thing of low fantasy is The World Is Shitty. I’ve heard people say that Dunk and Egg is a less depressing story and it’s more of just a fun knight adventure. I’d like to read it. I definitely enjoyed ASoIaF, but it’s just so heavy sometimes. As for GoT, I never finished it.
Ok so I cannot speak to the accuracy of everything here, but let me tell you a little bit about textiles because (obviously this is news to everyone) I Love Them.
I studied late antique textiles in undergrad. Late antiquity is a weird period with multiple different scholarly definitions, but the gist is that it’s the transition period between the ancient and medieval worlds. Christianity was a thing, but people were also still heavily influenced by older stories/mythologies/religions (the vast majority of textiles that survive from this period come from Egypt because of the climate, so in this case it’s Greek and Roman traditions that still hold influence).
Anyway. The textiles from this weird nebulous period of history are straight-up gorgeous, and not just to a nerd of my particular type. Take a look at Dumbarton Oaks or the Met’s collections and come tell me that ancient/medieval hand-woven textiles were all rough and poorly made. And you know why people spent so many hours making these beautiful things painstakingly by hand? (Every single step of the process, by the way - shearing, carding, spinning, dying, all before you get to the actual weaving. This stuff was incredibly skilled, intensive labor.) They did it because textiles were incredibly important. We don’t think much of them now that they can be mass-produced, but there was a whole Thing with the Virgin Mary spinning and metaphors about her weaving Christ on a loom, and textiles were used for protective magic, and they were part of everything important in people’s lives.
There were dyes that were prohibitively expensive, yes - Tyrian purple is literally still so expensive that we couldn’t buy a big enough sample to test our actual antique textiles against effectively. In the Byzantine Empire, it was controlled exclusively by the imperial family - hence the whole royal purple thing. But guess what? There are so many purple textiles, because people used other things! Madder and indigo! Both affordable! Mix them together and you get a very pretty color. Change up the mordants you use to seal the dyes and you can get a whole range of different colors out of one plant!
And people took these things and they wove them into literal artwork and wore it around on their clothes. They had hangings on their walls for decoration, sure (and also insulation and noise control), but they also had curtains! Textiles separated rooms the way wooden doors do now! The reason I have a weird thing for liminal spaces is because textiles were associated with them, and they were given power. The hanging in your doorway could protect your home from misfortune. Protective symbols around the neck and sleeves of your tunic could keep you from getting ill. And all of these things were pretty and colorful and painstakingly crafted by laypeople and professionals alike, and they were everywhere.
Basically, the ancient and medieval worlds were alive and full of color and magic. Not gray stone and plain cloth and misery.
And also textiles are important and you should love them.
ALSO this is what Roman socks looked like, and aren’t they adorable!
(This particular one is a child’s sock and it’s from the Royal Ontario Museum. A lot of other examples are red, possibly because red was a protective color - it’s also more common in surviving children’s items, likely because of high infant mortality and a need for extra protection for kids. Red was also common as a border color around sleeves and necklines and such - this is the liminal spaces thing I was squealing about!)
im a blorbo apologist but also they did every bad thing they did and i will get mad if u ignore that. complexities
I am not blorbo’s apologist, I’m blorbo’s defense attorney. And baby, we are going for a plea deal cause he absolutely did that shit.
I love when archeological papers have maps. Like yeah show me the places, boy.
Heart eyes.
Boromir lives AU where instead of being around for the events of Two Towers and ROTK he just kind of shows up in Minas Tirith after the Ring is destroyed all bloody & bedraggled like ‘you GUYS i had to swim all the way back what the hELL’
Luke was an invasive species in the tatooine ecosystem if you think about it, like he grew up in a space deathworld full of bounty hunters and slavers and this pansy boy was like ugh.... this place is so boring.. nothing to do... what do you MEAN you moisture boy sandstorms come in once a month there's the constant danger of tusken raiders jabba tries to raise the water tax every other week there's a fight in the marketplace every single day, what do you MEAN its boring
He shot womprats in his spare time and he was like oh.. so boring.. so bland :((( meanwhile the womprats are feral creatures the size of a wolf that can bite your head off, he threaded the needle with his skyhopper in breakneck speed and he was like :] fun and wacky activities to do with your friends,, seriously it's no wonder that he took all the wacky jedi stuff in stride because that's literally what's normal for him. Insane stuff happening all around him is just another Taungsday, he did shit like this every day after his chores were done on Tatooine. As a jedi he's like oh golly gee! Another beautiful day of smashing stuff and raising hell! His head is full of flowers. But those flowers are carnivorous and also insane
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: lots - Relationship, CT-21-0408 | CT-1409 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | ARC-5555 | Fives, Dogma & CT-21-0408 | CT-1409 | Echo, Dogma & CT-27-5555 | ARC-5555 | Fives, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, those are the big four Characters: CT-21-0408 | CT-1409 | Echo, CT-27-5555 | ARC-5555 | Fives, Dogma (Star Wars), Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Yoda (Star Wars), Mace Windu, Plo Koon, Dexter Jettster Additional Tags: Baby Clones (Star Wars), Autistic Clones, and my single-handed quest to make that an official tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Discussions of slavery, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Kaminoans Being Assholes (Star Wars), will never cease to be one of my favorite tags, Ableism, internalized ableism, I really can't stress enough how terrible the clones' childhoods are, Jedi Order- The Shookening, Obi-Wan is about to go from Tired Dad to Exhausted Dad, Pray for him, Mace Windu is gonna cut a bitch, Echo & Dogma are autistic, Fives is NT and extremely anxious, Angst with a Happy Ending Series: Part 3 of Am I My Brother's Keeper? (I Am) Summary:
After a year on the run Fives, Echo, and Dogma have finally- reluctantly- reached Coruscant and the Jedi Temple. Now the Jedi have three traumatized children on their hands, news of an army they never asked for made to fight a war that hasn't started, and the same feeling of impending darkness that's been clouding the Force since Naboo. And as if that weren't enough there are those out there- Sith and Kaminoan alike- who want their property back, and they'll do anything to make it happen.
(Echo and Dogma learn how to be themselves and Fives learns how to relax. Anakin gets to be a big brother, Obi-Wan goes grey before his time, and Yoda teaches children to be children. Mace just wants to kick a few people down reactor shafts. And somehow, this mess ends up changing the course of the galaxy.)
I DID IIIIIITTTTT I LIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE CHAPTER 7 IS FINALLY UP!
Two and a half years of toil and trouble have finally paid off. Now if only I could get the rest of my life together too...
The last POV for this chapter definitely went in a direction I wasn’t personally expecting when I started writing it (in November... of 2021...) but I like it better than my original plan, so. Chapter 8 is definitely leaning more ‘comic relief’ so far, but we’ll see how it plays out. In the meantime I want to edit the first few chapters a little bit to make them, you know, better and hopefully more enjoyable to read.
Irrationally excited to finally get my groove back for this story, this is the AU I started this Tumblr for.
Tolkien: "I think you misunderstand Faramir."
I think you misunderstand Faramir. He was daunted by his father: not only in the ordinary way of a family with a stern proud father of great force of character, but as a Númenórean before the chief of the one surviving Númenórean state. He was motherless and sisterless (Eowyn was also motherless), and had a 'bossy' brother. He had been accustomed to giving way and not giving his own opinions air, while retaining a power of command among men, such as a man may obtain who is evidently personally courageous and decisive, but also modest, fair-minded and scrupulously just, and very merciful.
I think he understood Eowyn very well. Also to be Prince of Ithilien, the greatest noble after Dol Amroth in the revived Númenórean state of Gondor, soon to be of imperial power and prestige, was not a 'market-garden job' as you term it. Until much had been done by the restored King, the P. of Ithilien would be the resident march-warden of Gondor, in its main eastward outpost - and also would have many duties in rehabilitating the lost the dreadful vale of Minas Ithil (Morgul).
I did not, naturally, go into territory, and clearing it of outlaws and orc-remnants, not to speak of details about the way in which Aragorn, as King of Gondor, would govern the realm. But it was made clear that there was much fighting, and in the earlier years of A.'s reign expeditions against enemies in the East. The chief commanders, under the King, would be Faramir and Imrahil; and one of these would normally remain a military commander at home in the King's absence.
A Númenórean King was monarch, with the power of unquestioned decision in debate; but he governed the realm with the frame of ancient law, of which he was administrator (and interpreter) but not the maker. In all debatable matters of importance domestic, or external, however, even Denethor had a Council, and a least listened to what the Lords of the Fiefs and the Captains of the Forces had to say. Aragorn re-established the Great Council of Gondor, and in that Faramir, who remained by inheritance the Steward (or representative of the King during his absence abroad, or sickness, or between his death and the accession of his heir) would [be] the chief counsellor.
from The Letters of JRR Tolkien, edited by Humphrey Carpenter, letter no. 244, a draft to a critical reader
the leader of your country, a clinically insane man, orders you to build a pyre for his dead son and set him on fire with it. a tiny man, who seems to be of relatively sound mind, and who arrived in your city a few days ago with a wizard who seems to know what he’s doing, tries to get you to stop, claiming that the son is not dead.
do you:
a) stop and check if the son is actually dead or not
b) stop, realizing that you probably shouldn’t set your country’s leader on fire, given that he now presumably has no heirs, which will send the country into political turmoil in the middle of a war
c) leave and help defend your city, which is currently being attacked by apparently every bad guy in the world
or d) say “lmfao lit 🔥” and burn your boss alive
Star Wars - Stayin’ Alive
I want someone to show me this on my death bed so I can die laughing.
Dealing with auditory processing disorder
LAWFUL: take the parts you heard and turn it into a clarifying question, e. g. "you saw your cousin where?" or "she's writing a what?"
NEUTRAL: "what did you say?"
CHAOTIC: take a wild stab at what the person said, e. g. "you want to baptize a mackerel?"
whether you like star wars or not, you need to watch this
WHAT ARE WE?!
WRITERS!!!
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!
WRITE!!!!!
WHEN ARE WE GONNA DO IT?!
((Disgruntled muttering))
EVENTUALLY!!
finding out Anakin was 23 years old when he became Vader was so crazy to me. he should've been at the club
you are personally and directly hit by a bus¹ and isekai-ed, via resurrection, into the body of the main character your most recent WIP
reblog and tell me: on a scale of 1–10, how screwed are you right now?
¹ this is, transparently, a plot device, so if you are about to tell me "joke's on you, I never leave my fifteenth floor apartment!" then you may rest assured it will have tremendous comedic value when the bus is launched into the sky and crashes through your apartment wall to flatten you anyway
I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.
Okayokayokayokaybut "My hand will wear out but the inscription will remain" is kind of a power line BEFORE you factor in that it is, in fact, over a thousand years old.
It’s always good to spend a few moments, on a quiet day, looking through the Family album.
every single member of the skywalker family:
