The Future is Bulletproof

Michael Bryar 27 years old Home Management Professor

[stbsubjason-blog]

PM: Happy Birthday, Jase. I'm proud of you for making it another year without getting thrown in jail. And, you know, for being an amazing person. You're always going to be my favorite work out buddy, even if you're slow as hell.

PM: Thanks, cuz. Well, almost a year. I did go to jail in Mexico over spring break, but Dylan bailed me out after 3 days. Oh fuck, I never told you about that…

Anyways, I’ve been upping my game and you’re going to be the slow one the next time we hit the gym. Just saying.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

PM: …We’re going to have a discussion about you being in a Mexican jail for three days and not calling me. I’ll wait until Monday, though, since it’s your birthday.

Bullshit. “Upping my game” for you still isn’t even near my level, kid.

[stbsubjason-blog]

PM: It was awful. Chewy was not an ideal cellmate. Mexican weed is terrible, it totally wasn’t worth it. Thanks for sparing me the birthday weekend though. Hey, maybe after all my parties, we can go grab a beer, just the two of us.

I can bust out 10 pull ups now, and run up 12 foot walls. I think that counts as upped game when your cousin is essentially a marine ninja.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

PM: That’s what you get for not calling me. And yes, we can go grab a beer. If it wasn’t a school night, I would have taken you out for one last night.

…You know, you have a point. For a civilian, it’s actually really impressive. Now, if you can run the obstacle course in under half an hour, I’ll be even more impressed.

[stbsubjason-blog]

PM: Hey, I promise I’ll call you next time. You dont have to tell me twice. I just… I didn’t want to disappoint you again. I felt like I had done so much that already, which is why I’ve been laying low lately.

How about we do the obsticle course, then grab a beer because I have a feeling I’m going to need said beer when you’re done with me.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

PM: Jase...Yeah, you frustrate me a lot, kid, but that doesn't mean that you ever need to worry about calling me for help! I would rather have been able to help, even if it upsets me, than to hear about it now and think of all the things that could have happened to you.

Good plan. I might even be nice and buy you dinner, while we're at it.

[stbsubjason-blog]

PM: Happy Birthday, Jase. I'm proud of you for making it another year without getting thrown in jail. And, you know, for being an amazing person. You're always going to be my favorite work out buddy, even if you're slow as hell.

PM: Thanks, cuz. Well, almost a year. I did go to jail in Mexico over spring break, but Dylan bailed me out after 3 days. Oh fuck, I never told you about that…

Anyways, I’ve been upping my game and you’re going to be the slow one the next time we hit the gym. Just saying.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

PM: …We’re going to have a discussion about you being in a Mexican jail for three days and not calling me. I’ll wait until Monday, though, since it’s your birthday.

Bullshit. “Upping my game” for you still isn’t even near my level, kid.

[stbsubjason-blog]

PM: It was awful. Chewy was not an ideal cellmate. Mexican weed is terrible, it totally wasn’t worth it. Thanks for sparing me the birthday weekend though. Hey, maybe after all my parties, we can go grab a beer, just the two of us.

I can bust out 10 pull ups now, and run up 12 foot walls. I think that counts as upped game when your cousin is essentially a marine ninja.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

PM: That's what you get for not calling me. And yes, we can go grab a beer. If it wasn't a school night, I would have taken you out for one last night.

...You know, you have a point. For a civilian, it's actually really impressive. Now, if you can run the obstacle course in under half an hour, I'll be even more impressed.

[stbsubjason-blog]

PM: Happy Birthday, Jase. I'm proud of you for making it another year without getting thrown in jail. And, you know, for being an amazing person. You're always going to be my favorite work out buddy, even if you're slow as hell.

PM: Thanks, cuz. Well, almost a year. I did go to jail in Mexico over spring break, but Dylan bailed me out after 3 days. Oh fuck, I never told you about that…

Anyways, I’ve been upping my game and you’re going to be the slow one the next time we hit the gym. Just saying.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

PM: ...We're going to have a discussion about you being in a Mexican jail for three days and not calling me. I'll wait until Monday, though, since it's your birthday.

Bullshit. "Upping my game" for you still isn't even near my level, kid.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

You know it’s time to switch up your workout when your baby sister calls you out on your flab over Skype…

#AbDayIsEveryday

[mistertxny-deactivated20160412]

I can never get tired of that stuff. Whenever you workout you should always make things harder. My friend and I did legless sit ups and it was terrible.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

I mean, it’s habit for me, by now. I definitely push myself, but nowhere near as hard as I did when I was younger. I’ve gotten better at knowing what my body can take.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

They’re a type of weight, Nick. And trust me, you’re lucky that you don’t know about them.

[subnickduval]

Why am I lucky?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

Because they're a pain in the ass to lift at 5 in the morning, and it's hard to find a decent workout that doesn't involve them.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

Text: I ran out to the hardware store this morning to get what I needed to fix where the backsplash tile came loose in the kitchen. Text: While I was there, I found the perfect rope for you. I bought enough for both of us, but I was thinking that Monday could be the day I tie you up handsomely under your clothes. Is that alright to do it that day? Then, Tuesday, you can return the favor and I'll teach you how to do it to me. I'll wear it under my clothes, while I'm teaching all of my classes.

Text: While I love having you be my personal handyman, we have a Super for that. We pay a ridiculous amount of money in order to not have to fix things ourselves.

Text: Oh? Well then, Monday it is…I’m still curious about how you’re going to be able to tie me up without it being noticeable.

Text: As long as you promise to be honest with me about my skill level with the rope. I don’t want you to deal with being uncomfortable all day just to make me feel like I did a good job.

@stbhunterjc

[stbhunterjc]

Text: I know, but I like keeping my hands busy on the weekends.

Text: Let’s just say there’s technique involved. Once you have an undershirt, your button down, and then your blazer on, no one will be able to tell. It’s not like it’s a thick rope. It’s a soft, lightly scratchy, ¼ inch jute.

Text: I promise. If you don’t do it right, you’ll undo the knots and try again until you do, because I want you to learn. Me suffering because you did it improperly doesn’t actually teach you anything. 

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

Text: ...I have a dick. Get busy with it, leave the back splash for the guy who gets paid to fix it.

Text: I can't decide if I'm happy or disappointed that no one will know...

Text: We'll have to practice a lot, especially if I'm doing it for you on a school day. Something tells me that Vega wouldn't like for us to be late because we were exploring new things...

[stbhunterjc]

What would you do if Michael left you?

I like to think that my boyfriend has no reason to leave me, but if that were to happen, I would probably leave the academy and return to active duty.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

Good, because you don’t get a say in the matter.

Nothing saying you have to go back and be one of the ones taking orders…Also, fuck you, I’m not old.

[stbhunterjc]

Also good to know, I’m glad you chose well.

I wouldn’t have to, honestly. I’d probably take a promotion, as would you. Captain Bryar and Major Clarington doesn’t have a bad ring to it at all. 

You’re not old, but I’m going to be 30, and that’s when you start to feel old.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

What can I say, I'm not just a pretty face...I have nice muscles, too.

God, I feel bad for the Corps if they're desperate enough to make me a Captain...Major Clarington, though...that makes sense.

Ahh, of course. Should I buy your walker now, or wait until your birthday?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

Text: I ran out to the hardware store this morning to get what I needed to fix where the backsplash tile came loose in the kitchen. Text: While I was there, I found the perfect rope for you. I bought enough for both of us, but I was thinking that Monday could be the day I tie you up handsomely under your clothes. Is that alright to do it that day? Then, Tuesday, you can return the favor and I'll teach you how to do it to me. I'll wear it under my clothes, while I'm teaching all of my classes.

Text: While I love having you be my personal handyman, we have a Super for that. We pay a ridiculous amount of money in order to not have to fix things ourselves.Text: Oh? Well then, Monday it is...I'm still curious about how you're going to be able to tie me up without it being noticeable. Text: As long as you promise to be honest with me about my skill level with the rope. I don't want you to deal with being uncomfortable all day just to make me feel like I did a good job.@stbhunterjc

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] Michael!

[PM] Sydney! How’s my favorite math whiz doing?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] In that case, I’m more than happy to help you, however I can. Including volunteering Hunter to help you carry boxes.

[heymissfoxxx]

[PM] I’m sure Hunter will be happy to hear that!

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] He's used to it, at this point. Now, tell me about this move. Where are you moving, to an apartment, or to a house?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] Michael!

[PM] Sydney! How’s my favorite math whiz doing?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] Moving as in “still within teaching here distance” or moving as in “there may be several states and possibly a small ocean involved”?

[heymissfoxxx]

[PM] Not far from campus, so you won’t be rid of me yet.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] In that case, I'm more than happy to help you, however I can. Including volunteering Hunter to help you carry boxes.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] Michael!

[PM] Sydney! How’s my favorite math whiz doing?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] …Moving /where/? Because if it’s anywhere farther than my apartment building, I am have to rethink offering to help.

[heymissfoxxx]

[PM] Kieran and I are moving. But not until after Spring Break.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] Moving as in "still within teaching here distance" or moving as in "there may be several states and possibly a small ocean involved"?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] Michael!

[PM] Sydney! How’s my favorite math whiz doing?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

PM: That’s great, if not slightly worrisome news…Am I giving you advice on stain treatment, or how to house train a puppy?

[heymissfoxxx]

[PM] …Moving?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] ...Moving /where/? Because if it's anywhere farther than my apartment building, I am have to rethink offering to help.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

With years of building up to it, and a spotter, Nick. Unless you actually wanted step-by-step instructions, in which case, no. No offense, but I’m fairly sure that my kettle bells alone are more than you’re used to.

[subnickduval]

I have no idea what you’d even really do with kettle bells, Professor…

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

They're a type of weight, Nick. And trust me, you're lucky that you don't know about them.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] Michael!

[PM] Sydney! How’s my favorite math whiz doing?

[heymissfoxxx]

[PM] She’s doing wonderfully, and she needs your Home Management expertise!

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

PM: That's great, if not slightly worrisome news...Am I giving you advice on stain treatment, or how to house train a puppy?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

[PM] Michael!

[PM] Sydney! How's my favorite math whiz doing?

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

You know it’s time to switch up your workout when your baby sister calls you out on your flab over Skype…

#AbDayIsEveryday

[subnickduval]

How do you do that, Professor?!

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

With years of building up to it, and a spotter, Nick. Unless you actually wanted step-by-step instructions, in which case, no. No offense, but I'm fairly sure that my kettle bells alone are more than you're used to.

[stbhunterjc]

What would you do if Michael left you?

I like to think that my boyfriend has no reason to leave me, but if that were to happen, I would probably leave the academy and return to active duty.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

You’re stuck with me, Cap. 

Besides, you know that if you went back to active, boyfriend or not, I’d be right there with you.

[stbhunterjc]

I mean, if I had to be stuck with someone you’re definitely my pick.

I think about it sometimes, but those new recruits would run circles around us old guys.

[dommichaelbryar-blog]

Good, because you don't get a say in the matter.

Nothing saying you have to go back and be one of the ones taking orders...Also, fuck you, I'm not old.