// tw for suicide mentions, apologies if this isnt yr cup of tea, feel free to delete if needed <33
loooomyyyuhhh i wanna know ur thoughts on all the hints of suicidal ideation for taco in truth or flare,, its been driving me mad bc nobody points it out, how the whole episode was taco on a manic high just trying to amp up her villain role til her last breath, how we DONT KNOW what she would have done if she had completed her goal of ruining the game (my belief is she wouldve ended her life or attempted to) the fact that she would have been in a “much darker place” if mepad wasnt there, the fact she actively didnt want to be recovered and did not care that she was actively DYING, i genuinely wish they could explore tacos passive suicidal ideation in the show more, its what makes her character writing so good to me
Hi Candi!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in an ask!! :]
Oh, you do not need to worry about me, on that front. I am a huge whumper, I have a PhD from the International Institution of Whumpology, if I turn down an opportunity to make my favourite characters suffer, then I urge you to attack that vile clone, because that is not me. But thank you for your consideration!! <33
My thoughts on the hints of her suicidal ideation in ToF include 'yay!' and 'yippee!' and biting my pillow and shaking it around like a predator does with it's prey, because I am so excited that I physically can't contain it.
Not only was she aware that her injury was a devastating one that would kill her, and on some level had to be aware that the excess activity (and emotion, even if she refused to acknowledge it) would be dangerous, but she also had no faith in the recovery system. That is to say, she fully expected not to be revived after dying. I tend to see her scheme and general actions in ToF as somewhat of a 'last hurrah' for her, before being gone forever, as she expected to be. One last scheme and a final warning to everyone else not to end up like her before she ceased to exist. One last act to put on before the curtains fell for good, yeah?
I certainly agree with you, that I don't think she would have just gone on with her life after ToF, had Mepad not stayed with her after/bonded with her before. I can only see it as her going off a like a sick/elderly animal that knows its end is near, finding a quiet place to lay down and die. She's not exactly difficult to kill, being so fragile, so there's any number of ways she could have done it quite easily. He had a fire arm on her, even.
I wish they could, too! I understand why they don't, but I really would love to see it more, since those thoughts wouldn't necessarily disappear even with her situation getting better. That's why we have fanfiction, I suppose!
