Now where&#x27;s the fun in that?

Going, Going, Gone || Rorian

She had more or less gotten used to Dorian’s biting sarcasm. Never liked it, but sometimes she was able to put up with it. She turned her head to the side as though it would give her some answer, though it never came. “Or at least get you to a window. You could see it, tell me what it looks like. I can’t remember the last time someone did that for me.” She didn’t say it with any sentiment or melancholy. Rose was simply talking, working to keep a smile up and to keep her tone even. She just spoke, honest and simple.

There had to be at least one window in the infirmary, she was sure of it. Its location in the academy meant that it had walls that, if you broke through them, led outside, so there had to be windows. She knew better than to hope the doctor would let him out of the bed, if even into a wheel chair to go a couple feet away, but still, it was a thought. “Or maybe we could just get something to eat. I’m kind of hungry, I don’t know about you.” Rose hadn’t eaten since lunch, yesterday, more than twenty-four hours ago. She didn’t care, though the hunger did eat at her stomach. It was painful at best.

#Rorian #Going going gone #Para

All this chit-chat was getting old. Dorian knew he should appreciate her even trying, but his reactions to things had never been the way they should be. He was glad she was there, he really was, and he didn't want her to leave, but this facade of everything being all fine and dandy was getting old. Perhaps when he was... less aware of his surroundings, perhaps then the confused mess of a boy he'd turn into would be comforted by Rose's words, but now they just frustrated Dorian. He was perfectly aware of where they were, and what was going on, and he knew that there was no way he would be able to get any kind of food through his throat, or be able to talk for long enough to describe the view through the window.

"Stop," he croaked, his voice raw, he hadn't spoken in days. He wasn't sure if he could say more, and he didn't want to find out either, so instead of continuing to talk, he put his hand on Rose's. It was a strange gesture, and Dorian wasn't sure why he did it, but he ignored the nagging thoughts in the back of his mind that told him that sentiment was something only weak people bothered with. It was this or talking, and the latter was more embarrassing than showing some kind of warped and confused affection.

ezradelrey-blog

#photos

Going, Going, Gone || Rorian

A sad smile threatened to change her expression. Rose shifted her weight and forced herself to look more alive, as alive as she could, though she was sure she didn’t look well at all. Either way, Rose would do what she could, for the both of them. “It did, really. I bet I could sneak you out one day to go see it.” A useless thing to say. Neither of the pair was well enough to go out any more. Rose herself would probably need to be watched for a few days to be sure she was still healthy.

Still, she kept speaking. “It’s getting warmer, too. Not…not by much, but I mean. It hasn’t snowed. There’s that.” She gave a pained, sad laugh, and bit back the tears that always seemed to be threatening to spill over. Always on the verge of something.

#Going Going Gone #Para #Rorian

Normally, Dorian would have said something sarcastic and snarky, something that made fun of Rose's bet, one that she knew would never ever win, but now Dorian was too frightened to even attempt to say something, and if he would have been able to talk, he would not have wasted his breath on starting a conversation full of bickering. He was too tired, too afraid and too weak to bother with that. He just continued to stare at her, wondering why death took so long. He used to think that he had mastered the skill of torture, but he had made the deaths too quick to be truly torturous. The longest he had kept someone on the verge of death was a day or two, nothing compared to weeks and weeks.

Rose's laugh almost brought tears to his own eyes. Dorian had never cried, not since he had been dragged away from that hospital in Canada, where he had spent so much time with the girl who was now comforting him as he waited to die. How unexpected, Dorian had never thought he would be comforting someone at their deathbed, let alone that anyone would ever comfort him.

Going, Going, Gone || Rorian

Rose had, for the first time in her life, willingly gone to the infirmary when she wasn’t in need of medical attention. Or, rather, not moved from her spot in the infirmary. The same chair, or the bed right next to her, were the only two places she could have been found for the past two weeks, right next to Dorian. No matter what happened now, she wasn’t going to leave him alone.

“The sun came out today,” she tried. Rose always tried to talk to Dorian whether he was awake or not. It probably didn’t do much good, but it eased her mind. She felt better talking with him. It let her pretend that there was hope for him talking back.

#Rorian #Going Going Gone #Para

There was two things Dorian had somehow convinced himself he would never have to face: death and imprisonment. And yet here he was, lying in the infirmary of a jail-in-disguise, at death's door, unable to do anything but wait for the tumour in his brain to finish him off. For the past few weeks, he had been constantly drifting in and out of consciousness, too weak to move or eat. He couldn't even speak properly, words had turned into slurs which had turned into moans, and now he could only mutter a few barely audible words at a time.

Dorian was scared. He was terrified. His whole life, fear had been a joke to him. Only the weak feared things, only the feeble had doubts. Quite often, Dorian forgot where he was, what was happening, but the feeling of terror never left. The girl sitting next to his bed seemed unreal, like a character from a favourite book he had read in his childhood, a person from a distant memory he tried so hard to cling onto. But even when he didn't remember all the things Rose and he had been through, he held onto her hand with all his strength, which was decreasing exponentially.

However, now was one of the rare moments when Dorian was both conscious and aware. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to be awake. Although he feared oblivion, hated the idea of not existing anymore, Dorian almost wished that his body would get it over with soon. He heard Rose say something, and he opened his eyes reluctantly to look at her. She looked horrible, but Dorian wasn't one to talk. His already gaunt face was paler and thinner than ever, cold sweat made his greasy hair stick to his skin, and his eyes were red and unfocussed.

He wanted to reply. He wanted to reply so badly, but sentences refused to form in his mind and words came out as meaningless noises, and every time he tried to talk and failed he grew more scared, so he had given up on talking altogether. Instead, he just looked at Rose, his eyes not leaving her face.

ayoungsummersyouth-blog

#photos

Dorian?

Yeah, absolutely. All I’d need to do is get an okay from the doctor, and I think he trusts me enough.

I knew it... Never mind.

smoke-stungeyes

What a babe.

#photos #water you doing

Dorian?

I could try to do that.

...Really?

Dorian?

I don’t know, something. I want to do something right by you for once.

... You can bring me outside.

Dorian?

I don’t know. I’m sorry…I just…look, I want to do something. You deserve something great before…it’s not…it wouldn’t feel right if it was just…this and then nothing. And I know you’re going to say it’s stupid, but I don’t care. I really don’t.

#And yeah he's talking slower than he usually does #Usually he talks really fast and now it's slower than a normal person would regularly talk #Rose

What do you want to do then, huh? I can't even fucking walk, Rose.

Dorian?

I’m being serious. Can you please just answer the question?

What do you want me to say? I'm dying. It's pretty fu-- fucking easy, Rose.

Dorian?

How is your head anyway?

Fine and fucking dandy.

Dorian?

Okay. Never mind. I’m not sorry then.

Good.

Dorian?

Yes. People with headaches usually hate loud noises.