[ REQUESTS CLOSED ] | Riza | Writing side blog for IkeSeries || main: incorrectikesenquotes || header art by @shoshinni || Check pinned post for masterlist, request guide, rules, tags~
Please note that all characters here (unless stated otherwise) are from its respective otome games (Ikemen Sengoku: Romances Across Time, Ikemen Revolution: Love and Magic in Wonderland and Ikemen Vampire: Temptation in the Dark by Cybird)Â
Target audience - female. Most fics are referring to MC (Mai) as the suitorâs partner so pronouns used are she/her. Iâm not saying you canât self-insert tho
I do not really advise you to reblog this as it is updated again and again, but you do whatever you want I guess haha~
If some links do not work, please do tell me!
I tried to arrange it for your convenience, but itâs quite a long way down lol. Thanks for viewing my works!Â
at last, what weâve all been waiting for: everything compiled together so bryn can keep all her shit in order lmao im so sorry this has taken me so longÂ
I just personally wanted to extend my thanks to each and every one of our wonderful participants. It has been an absolute delight getting to work with you all and getting to know each and every one of you throughout this process. Iâm so thankful for the friendships this has brought me, and I canât wait to see how all of this blossoms into more. Thanks for the discord antics and for putting up with me hahah <3 I also hope to see a lot of familiar faces for the next event Sunny and I decide to host⊠and speaking of Sunny, I want to give a big big thank you to her, for being the best co-host a girl could ask for. I could not have done this without you. I love you to the moon and back!! -Bryn :)
Thank you so much everyone for participating!! Iâve had the most wonderful experience working with everyone, and the pieces created for this exchange have been absolutely PHENOMENAL. Youâre all insanely talented and hardworking and I thank you all for all your efforts, itâs been such a delight to see everything come together, and for being able to chat with peeps on the discord! Youâre all gorgeous humans and Iâve loved every second <3 and of course thank you Bryn for letting me co-host with you (and for your patience hahah) Iâve adored doing this with you and I love you so much!! -Sunny xxÂ
(Extra)Ordinary Pleasure | Takeda Shingen x Female Reader | by @tiny-wooden-robot for xxsycamore
Valiance | Oda Nobunaga x Fem OC (Asura)Â | by @xxsycamore for randonauticrap
Flowers for Your Love | Oda Nobunaga x MC/Reader | by @randonauticrap for dreamscapesin1582
Love in Letters | Toyotomi Hideyoshi x MC (Mai) | by @dreamscapesin1582 for kokorokai
Fireflies in the Summer Sky | Takeda Shingen x MC | by @kokorokai for iphigeniainaulis
Ten Thousand Leaves | Takeda Shingen x OC (Inoue Eri) | by @iphigeniainaulis for tacogawa
Sketches | Sanada Yukimura x Sarutobi Sasuke x MC, Shingen x MC | by tacogawa for ikemenlibrary & sunnyikemen
Hand Kisses | Ishida Mitsunari x MC | by @tacogawa for neobrogrippa
Tell Me of the Moon | Sarutobi Sasuke x MC | by @neobrogrippa for yaystew
Sunflower Kisses | Takeda Shingen x OC (Sunny) | by @yaystew for sunnyikemen
Lies of You, Lies of Me | Takeda Shingen x MC | by @sunnyikemen for tiny-wooden-robot
Chibi | Imagawa Yoshimoto | by @weird-konpeito for readerinsertfanfiction
Bookmark | Takeda Shingen | by readerinsertfanfiction for sunnyikemen
Forever | Kennyo | by @readerinsertfanfiction for nopenow
Sly Mitsuhide | Akechi Mitsuhide | by @nopenow for shimadalluvia
Beyond His Betrayal | Kicho | by @shimadalluviaâ for aquagirl1978
Moments Like This | Akechi Mitsuhide x OC (Fukumoto Saki) | by @aquagirl1978â for themysticalbeing
Him & Her: Their Ongoing Story | Uesugi Kenshin x MC | by @themysticalbeingâ for aminiatureworld
Kitsune Dance | Akechi Mitsuhide x OC (Misa) | by @aminiatureworldâ for akitsuneswife
The Wedding Night | Akechi Mitsuhide x MC (Mai) | by @akitsuneswifeâ for daegupaksu
Shopping Trip | Toyotomi Hideyoshi x MC | by @daegupaksuâ for bmpmp3
Them and Their Pets | Akechi Mitsuhide, Uesugi Kenshin, Oda Nobunaga x Kicho | by @bmpmp3â for weird-konpeito
My Heart Is | Takeda Shingen x OC (Sunny) | by ikemenlibrary for sunnyikemen
The Definition of Love | Sanada Yukimura x OC (Zeta) | by @ikemenlibraryâ for nad-zeta
The Book | Date Masamune x MC | by @nad-zetaâ for ikeromantic
The Angelâs Choice | Takeda Shingen x MC (Mai) | by @ikeromanticâ for the12thnightproject
Conditions Necessary | Sarutobi Sasuke x OC (Asaka) | by @the12thnightprojectâ for ashavazesa
Our Stories Amidst the Zillion Stars | Sanada Yukimura x OC (Brenna), Sarutobi Sasuke | by @ashavazesaâ for ikemenlibrary
Notes: I am so thankful to have been a part of this lovely gift exchange! I was given the opportunity to write for the lovely Riza ( @dreamscapesin1582 )! I know you like angst and hurt/comfort, so I wrote the most heart-wrenching concept I could come up with, with a little comfort at the end. I changed the idea for this fic about a hundred times, but I finally felt like this one was the one. I so so hope you like it!!!
Bryn ( @ikemenlibrary ) & Sunny ( @sunnyikemen ), you all were amazing hosts and I loved getting to know you through the discord! I'm glad to have you all as some of my lovely moots now. <3
You sewed in silence, gazing up at the stars in the blackened sky every now and again, thoughts of him swirling in your head. You knew you only had 3 months here, in this time and place that was so very far away from home. It was odd, how the absence of unfamiliarity had become so⊠comforting. It was almost as though you had yearned for this place, before even knowing it was possible to get here; or perhaps it was yearning for him, the man that consumed your every waking thought. You would not be too startled to learn that your heart was aware of him long before you were. Perhaps he was even the reason that you, of all people, were dragged backwards in time to crash down in front of Honno-ji on that fateful night; to save him; to meet him; to love him.
Love was a thorn to you, a fated disaster. But your rose-tinted heart accepted the thorn without so much as a backward glance as Nobunaga Oda looked down at you with a glimmer in his eyes and the most beautiful smirk that you had ever seen playing across his pink lips. His âlucky charmâ he called you. Little did he know how delicately twisted the flower that bloomed in your chest had become since that moniker had graced you. You longed for him; to touch him, kiss him, to have him hold you in his strong arms.Â
You longed alone.
Sighing, you let your sewing needle tumble to the floor beneath your bent legs and leaned against the stone wall next to you, your heart heavy. That woman was probably with him now, you thought, thinking back to the gorgeous woman who had arrived with several of the men from the nearby town. They had come to Azuchi to appeal to Nobunaga about trading linens for farming supplies, which the town was desperately in need of. She had entered behind the three men, keeping her head low as was respectful, but you saw the twinkle in her eye appear once she laid eyes on him; your warlord. A stinging pain struck the back of your throat as the thought hit. No, he was not yours. That much was evident, what with the way he smiled at her and entertained her fancy. You wished he would smile at you that way, and let his eyes dance for you, the way yours danced for him.
Proof of your love sprouted from your lips and you sobbed, coughing the delicate colors onto the ground. How could something so beautiful have become so carnivorous? It devoured you from the inside out, taking with it all of your joy and vibrance, leaving you pale and weak.Â
âMC?â a soft voice echoed through the night and you turned abruptly, meeting Hideyoshiâs caramel colored eyes, laced with concern, emerging from the dark.  Â
âHideyoshi,â you tried to steady your breath, the barbs inside you scratching against the gauzy and torn sides of your lungs.
âWhy are you out so late?â he asked, walking over to sit down beside you.Â
âI just wanted to finish up this kimono.â you lied, brushing the fabric in your lap down hurriedly.
âWhat happened to these flowers?â Hideyoshi gestured to the petals on the ground, then looked around as if searching for something. âI donât see the stems anywhere. You really took them apart, huh?â he chuckled. âWho dared to bring you flowers you didnât like, MC?â Hideyoshi was smiling obliviously until he turned to face you and saw your tears shimmering like glitter in the moonlight. His grin faded into a grim understanding as the coughing began. âNo, MC⊠no. Not that. Anything but that.â You nodded through your wheezing and his arms engulfed you comfortingly, pulling you close to his warm chest. âWho?â he asked flatly, stroking your hair as you struggled to breathe, finally ejecting the petals onto the ground to join the others.
âN- Noâ you struggled with your words, your voice hoarse and raspy.
âNobunaga?â Hideyoshi guessed your intentions and you nodded, quietly sinking into the warlord's arms. The pain lasted for ages after an attack, and you knew the sharp edges of the thorns that grew inside you had lacerated tissue in their attempts at escaping out your mouth. You were being eaten; destroyed, and your only option now was death. When the first stipule had appeared, death seemed so far away and so frightening to you. But after weeks of hurling color from your bosom and feeling the scrape of unrequited love burning inside of you, death was ever present, and oh, so welcoming. You laid in Hideyoshiâs arms, waiting for it to take you, for some kind of respite. But it didnât come; it never came, and you cursed the gods above for leaving you to suffer this way.Â
âCome on, let me take you to bed.â Hideyoshi whispered somberly, cradling you in his arms delicately as he picked your mutilated form from off the ground and lifted you into the air with ease. You hadnât the heart to respond, nor the energy to nod. So you simply went limp and allowed him to maneuver you where he would.Â
A deep, resounding voice shook you to life and you rolled your head away from Hideyoshiâs chest to confirm your vibrating hope. âHideyoshi, what are you doing with MC?âÂ
âIt is as Mitsuhide predicted, Lord Nobunaga.â Hideyoshi answered. You couldnât bother to care what they were discussing; your eyes were locked onto Nobunagaâs face, weathered and tired, and full of worry. He wasnât with her. The vines inside you coiled tighter around your sensitive organs, almost as though they were anticipating the fall, but you paid them no mind. If you died by them tonight, at least you would see his eyes trained upon you once more before you made your peace.Â
âGive her to me, I will care for her.â was his gentle reply, and you were transferred from one set of arms to another. The moment his skin touched yours, your eyes fell closed, an obscene amount of relief flooding your weary body. The vines put away their thorns and allowed you to rest for the first time in weeks. âNobunaga,â you whispered weakly, and you could have sworn you felt a pillowy kiss being pressed to your temple before your mind faded into the bliss of sleep.Â
You hummed, squinting at the golden sunlight against your eyelids; your eyes not yet ready to reopen to the world. It was warm where you lay, comfortable in a way you could never remember knowing before. You snuggled closer to that warmth and smiled, a cloud-like euphoria settling over you. âIt seems you needed that rest.â a low, velvety rumble of a voice reached your ears and your eyes, previously heavy, snapped open to reveal Nobunaga laying in front of you, his deep carnelian eyes gazing into your own, an affectionate smile on his lips. His kimono had lazily fallen to the side, revealing the pale skin of his chest to you, and his fingers trailed up and down your side at a leisurely pace.Â
âIâm⊠dreaming.â you croaked, your voice fighting to leave your throat.
âNo, my darling. You are not.â Nobunaga replied, a hint of regret in his eyes as he reached up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. âHad I known sooner, you never would have suffered.â
âKnownâŠâ you spluttered, trying to come to an understanding.
âHanahaki,â he said softly. âIt never would have plagued you had I been more forward, more blatant.â
âI, I donât understand, Nobunaga.â you whispered. âWhat are you saying?âÂ
âI am saying that you do not love alone, my darling.â he murmured, his gaze never leaving yours. âAnd if I had told you such to begin with, that horrible disease would have never touched your beautiful body.â
Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him with widened eyes. âYou- love⊠thatâs what you meant last night.â a flash of memory from the night before filled your mindâs eye.Â
âMitsuhide suggested it. He saw your pallor skin and sunken eyes.â Nobunaga confirmed. âI do not know how he is familiar with it, but he recognized it almost immediately. Hideyoshi proved it such last night after seeing you in-â he shuddered visibly. âsuch a state.âÂ
âNobunaga,â you cupped his cheek and propped yourself up on your elbow. âSay it. I need to hear you say it. Please.â You felt them, coming to life inside of you, the thorns pressing against the walls of your stomach, the petals beginning to tickle the back of your throat, a gag nearing. They felt it; they felt how close they were to dying.Â
âMy darling,â Nobunaga neared you, his nose brushing against yours. âI love you.â he hummed against your lips, finally taking them as his own. The flowers within you burst apart, shedding into hundreds of pieces as joy overwhelmed them. You smiled against your warlordâs lips.Â
i have literally no words. im just gonna quote lady gaga
SRSLY i am going insane with this piece. love love LOVE L O V E it to bits! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ugly sobbing this is so beautiful hnggkjavbsjdv
u honestly already got me at hanahaki. yes pls hurt my heart Â
but really. the way you wrote is so beautiful. the metaphors !!!! nailed it!!! the way you described nobuâs voice? take me away! and the ENDING?!?!?! IMPLIED PECS REVEAL?!?!?!!?!!!! Y TO THE E TO THE S SIR
oh if only i could show u how i kept fangirl-screaming at my screen even tho its angst i know im kinda bonkers in the head
THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH @randonauticrapâ !!! ily for this!! <33
Here is my piece for this gift exchange! This is probably the longest fic Iâve written so far just because I didnât divide it into chapters and just meshed it in one.Â
Thank you so much to Bryn ( @ikemenlibraryâ ) and Sunny ( @sunnyikemen ) for hosting and allowing me to be a part of this wonderful group~
I hope you like it, @kokorokai !!!
To Lord Hideyoshi,
This is Mai. I am writing you a letter to express my gratitude for allowing me to spend the day with you. The sweets were delightful, and I will take utmost care of the gifts that you have given me. Although it should have been a time for me to make up for your time taking care of me when I was sickâŠ
Oh wait. Iâm not supposed to write that. Ugh, Iâll rewrite itâŠÂ
The woman traced a finger on the letter she laid down on her writing desk, remembering the time she was still adjusting to the aftermath of her time travel incident. She wasnât accustomed to the lifestyle of old, but she assumed that she had to at least try to act the part. And so her thought process went like that - she has to show utmost respect to the âlordsâ to reduce the risks of dying, and respect is equivalent to expressing gratitude at any act of benevolence⊠therefore, a letter after an outing.Â
There was an issue, however. Mai was also not aware of how they wrote their letters. Can the chatelaine even send letters to lords? Just how far is the status of the chatelaine? Oh, but isnât she declared as a princess? Then, shouldnât she write her letter like how royals do? Ah, but she wasnât a royalâŠ
In the end, Mai scrapped attempt by attempt until she woke up the next morning with a pile of drafts and ink on her face. Ever since then, it transformed into something like a curse, and now she has collected several letters. Here, she stared at one of them. The very first one she kept, only one of the many letters left unsent. The corner of her lips perked up in a derisive smile and, after staring blankly at the innocent sheet of paper, she let herself collapse on the table.
She moved her head and her hair fell on her face, to which she subconsciously reacted by blowing a puff of air to it. Strands flew and fell back, now only messier and covering more of her face. She only felt even more helpless.
âI really should move onâŠâÂ
To Lord Hideyoshi,
âŠWell, itâs not like Iâm going to send this to you so Iâm just gonna write whatever Iâm thinking about right now. Or rather, what I feel.
I think youâre a great person. No, youâre really a great person. Thereâs no doubt about that. You look after people a lot, you try to help as much as you can, and youâre really loyal! Not many guys have that trait, you know! Itâs a real treasure. Not to mention how good-looking you areâ ahem. Well, I think youâd be twice, no, a hundred times more popular when you end up in the modern day!Â
âŠâŠ
Ah, Iâve done it again.Â
Thereâs no way that would happen.
Because youâre loyal.
âYou âwent outâ with Hideyoshi?â Masamune took a step forward, harboring an excited glint in his eye. âReally? Finally?!â
âAbout time, I guessâŠâ Ieyasu commented quietly as he leaned against the wall, arms crossed. Contrary to their excitement, Mai perked an eyebrow in confusion.
âYes, he accompanied me to observe the castle town and take note of the citizensâ evacuationââ Realization hit her. â...Wait, what did you mean by that?âÂ
âOhâ oh, you still meant work. I thought you meant the other thing. You know, what you explained to us before⊠about⊠what âgoing outâ was supposed to mean⊠in your hometown. Sorry, lass.â The One-Eyed Dragon bowed his head, evading her questioning stare. Mai gave him one last peeved look before letting it go and instead continued staring at the direction of the castle entrance. It was obvious to the two guys what her concern was, considering the misunderstanding they brought about. Ieyasu sighed.
â...Say, what exactly is the reason why both of you are still making a fool of yourselves?â
âIeyasu.â Masamune tried to get a hold of him but Ieyasu quickly dodged his attempt, taking another step forward to face Mai. âItâs not our businessââ
âIt may not be, but at this point, I think someone has to start talking about the âbusinessâ they left hanging around that everyone is forced to look at.â Ieyasu stared down at her, and while Mai flinched at his words, she still felt that his annoyance was not really directed to her. âAre you really going to stay this way? Because donât tell me you donât knowââ
â...Thereâs no point.â She managed to utter. Ieyasu was quite taken aback at first when she lifted her head to look at him, and he frowned. If that fool of a man saw that expression just now, he would probably snap out of it. He should, because it was clear as water that she found her peace with the idea, but there was still no hiding the conflict that was raging in her eyes like crashing waves from the farther side of the sea. âIeyasu. Thank you, but thereâs really no need to go any further.â
âYou reallyââ
âLord Masamune! Lord Ieyasu!â Mitsunari suddenly came rushing to their direction. âPlease come quickly! Assassins targeting Lord Nobunaga have managed to break in!â
âWhat?â
âWe currently do not know how many of them are here, but we have to move swiftly to search for them.â He said, and afterwards, the castle quickly turned noisy. âLord Keiji and the soldiers he was training had already engaged a small group of them by the courtyard.â
âFine, weâll look into that. You look after Mai.â Ieyasu took off, and Masamune patted Maiâs shoulder before running to another direction. Meanwhile, Mitsunari smiled at Mai in an attempt to ease the panic she must have felt.Â
âLetâs go. I will take you to Lord Nobunaga.â
Although hesitant, she nodded. They made their way to the tenshu, where Nobunaga was watching the skirmish from above. With a quick report about the present situation, Mitsunari went back to the fray. Nobunaga did not look worried, unlike Mai who tried so hard to calm herself down. He started speaking to distract her.
â...Hideyoshi went back to town, you say?â
âYes. After escorting me back here a while ago, he said he had to take care of something and went back.â
âHm. It seems this whole situation will be resolved faster than I expected it to be.â He turned his back from the balcony and glanced at Mai. âDo not fret too much.â
âEasy for you to sayâ!â
BANG!
âOh, God!â She exclaimed. Fear gripped her heart, realizing that the assassins must have some arquebusiers among them. Worse, that gunshot was so loud that she wouldnât be surprised if the culprit was near them.
Out of worry and fear, she immediately thought of Hideyoshi. Mai glanced at the tenshuâs open balcony after spotting what seemed to be him approaching the castle and almost felt like those negative emotions were a lie. However, just as she was about to step into the balcony, she noticed a small string of smoke from nearby.
Theyâre this close?!
In that moment, it felt like her senses shut down after a single gasp of breath. All she had was her instincts, and that made her whirl around. Her skin almost felt the vibration in the air as Nobunaga shouted, but the sound did not come to her as loud. She threw herself to him with her arms wide open, and a single thought in mind.
Nobunaga cannot die here.Â
âŠbecause what would Hideyoshi do then?
Another gunshot rang in the tenshu.Â
Meanwhile, Hideyoshi had his horse gallop for his life back to the castle. Just when he thought he had managed to corner one of those wretches who dare to even think about going for his lordâs life, the man escaped by taking his own life and a curse: it is too late.
For once, it was not the threat to Nobunaga that had him so disgruntled. Hideyoshi deals with that almost everyday, and he trusts his lordâs strength. In fact, it was the worst time they could think about raiding the castle; everyone is there.
But when he thought of Mai, afraid and undefended in a dangerous environment, his blood boils. Just the mere thought of one of those assassins finding her in her vulnerable state⊠he couldnât bring himself to calm down. And with the growing turmoil raging inside his chest, he urged his horse to run even faster.
He didnât intend to acknowledge it, but he knew it was not fear that was driving him insane⊠not exactly. There was something greater other than fear for her life.Â
It was the times he found her so pretty, so kind, so full of confidence and light, and yet he could not express it in full. It was all the times he had to lie about the gifts he got for her, revealing only a fraction of his own heart with words that barely described what he felt. It was all the times he drew his hand back when she had a cute expression on her face, or when she pouted her lips at his attempts to tease her, or when she called him out on his little regard for his life, or when she shed tears for him.
It was the memory of their first outing, and their most recent one. It was the way he found reasons to strive for peace whenever he watched her appreciate the new bolts of fabric in the market. It was the sparkle in her eyes whenever she eats desserts from the tea house they often visit together. It was the picture of her, looking so happy even when both of their hearts are separated by a single bordering line.Â
It was all the times he did not cross the line he drew himself.Â
The loud whinny of the horse finally pulled Hideyoshi out of his thoughts that were trying to drown him in regret. He realized that he had already reached his destination. The fighting wasnât quite over, but it was clear that the threat was all up in the smoke. He couldnât find Mai, but seeing the rest of the Oda forces gave him peace of mind, or at the very least a modicum of it. He was convinced the situation was not as serious as he thought.Â
Seeing his arrival, Keiji and the other lords caught up with him. Hideyoshi shared the situation he handled before he rushed back. Now it was just the matter of rounding up everyone involved. It was nearly dawn when the conflict had ceased at last.Â
It was only until Mitsunari had met with them did the morbid thoughts come back, and with twice the force. He couldnât even process what he reported just then; his mind focused on the words, âMai was with Lord Nobunaga when one of the enemies was desperate enough to risk everything just to climb up and shoot at the tenshu.â Â
âMaiâ!â Hideyoshi slammed the door so hard as soon as he reached her room that he almost broke it. But there was no woman present, only a man casually reclined beside her writing desk. âWhat the hell are you doing here?â
âIs that any way to greet people?â Mitsuhide shrugged his shoulders and feigned a look of hurt. While annoyed, Hideyoshi managed to reel in his emotions. He was about to lose it, had this encounter not been as anticlimactic. His presence, ironically, doused his hot emotions with cold water.
â...Where is Mai?â He asked. âI heard she was with Lord Nobunaga when a gunman managed to get close to their position.â
Mitsuhide frowned. âYes. About thatâŠâ
âI donât like that tone, Mitsuhide. Spit it out.â
â...As you can see, sheâs not here.â Mitsuhide calmly retorted. Hideyoshi clicked his tongue at his evasiveness. âAs for the gunmanââ
âWHERE IS SHE, THEN?!â His patience running out, Hideyoshi charged to his direction and grabbed him by his lapels. Mitsuhide did not evade his furious glare, and instead fixed him a cool stare dripping with unsaid disapproval. âI donât have time for this!â
âAh, just look at you. Getting all worked up for someone other than our lord.â It wasnât a new quip he told, but the tone of his voice was not of the teasing kind. And it was because he was serious that Hideyoshi could not further act on his annoyance. âYou really should have been careful, Hideyoshi. Had you not been acting in such a manner, you and I would not find ourselves in these circumstances.â
âDamn it!â What does that even mean?! He pushed him towards the wall as he released his collar, and a few rustling sounds followed. Hideyoshi took a deep breath to calm down and turned back to him. Mitsuhide was fixing his clothes when Hideyoshi noticed the papers lying on his feet. On second glance, it looked like Maiâs handwriting. On the third, one could make out Hideyoshiâs name on one of them. Thatâs when he realized they were letters⊠addressed to him. âW-WhatâŠâ
âIt seems the little mouse is surprisingly shy.â Mitsuhide picked up one of the papers that fell on the floor. Not that he didnât know the contents of it. âEach of these papers has your name on it. Well, considering itâs addressed to you.â
Letters? She never sent me any letters. But it was difficult to deny it when Mitsuhide forced him to look at it. Clearly, the first line was his name. Now, he was figuring out what Mitsuhide was trying to do. The answer didnât please him.
âShe didnât send it because she didnât want me to read it. Donât force me to.âÂ
âShe didnât because you didn't let her. Because instead of building a happy relationship, you built a wall.â As if he found the man hopeless, Mitsuhide sighed with exaggeration. âFor a model vassal such as yourself, you can be quite frustrating.â
âWhat does all this have anything to do withââ
âThe gunman had aimed his final shot at Lord Nobunaga. Mai threw herself in the crossfire.â Those chilling words made Hideyoshi freeze. Mitsuhide continued. âIf I had been a second too late, she would have taken the hit meant for our lord. Now, who does that remind me of?â
Oh, God. The revelation was like an arrow that went straight to his skull. He couldnât think of anything, but his eyes seemed to be watching it happen in front of him. Â
âLook at these, Hideyoshi. Look at all these words she could not send to you. Look at it and think about your actions since then. Maybe youâll finally find your own words to tell her, to end this stalemate⊠before you regret it.âÂ
Mitsuhide began walking away, leaving him to stare blankly at the pile of letters. The minutes of silence was broken by the sound of a thud as Hideyoshi fell to his knees. A trembling hand reached to one of the letters. His heart was crushed as he scanned every letter there was.Â
â...Hideyoshi?âÂ
His body went alert at the sound of her voice, and it quickly moved to stand in front of her as she stepped inside the room. He inspected her entire figure, and fortunately, there was no visible injury. Noticing his fatigued state, Mai reached to cup his cheek. âWhatâs wrong? Did you get hurt?â
âŠYes.Â
â...What were you thinking?â Hideyoshi could not even snap at her. It was like Mitsuhide drained all the anger and aggression inside of him just so he could not scream at Mai the moment she appeared before him. His hands landed on her shoulders, and Mai felt them shaking. âWhy go to such lengthsâŠ?â
She figured he must have heard about what happened. â...Are you angry?â
âI want to. But thereâs no point anyway. Not when everythingâs my fault.â
âYour fault? Just whatââ Mai finally noticed the scattered letters on the floor and her eyes widened in recognition. âY-You..â
âMai, listen.âÂ
Hideyoshi called her to get her attention again. While hesitant, she faced him once more. Just at the look in her eyes, his resolve staggered. Meanwhile, Mai had a vague idea about what he was going to say. And while she somewhat expected it, she wasnât liking it.
âYou are a wonderful personâ no, words canât describe how great you are. I care about you and I would do anything in my power to make sure that you will always have a smile on your face. I love⊠that about you.â He knew his expression must be crumbling at this point, but he owes her the words, if not anything else. âBut Mai, donât⊠donât ever think about risking your life like that again.â
â...So you heard.â Mai smiled sadly. âIâm sorry if I worried you, Hideyoshi. Well, if anything, I have already been scolded by Nobunaga. I know what I did was wrong, but⊠when I thought about what you would have felt if the worst happened, my body just moved.â
âThat. Thatâs what I didnât want to happen.â Hideyoshi thought back on the letters. For a while now, she was only thinking of him. Now it came to the point where she would consider his feelings rather than her own safety. And it was terrifying. âYouâre not his vassal, Mai. You are not obligated to give up your life for him. You should be spending your efforts on your job! Your dream! You donât have to die⊠for anyoneâs sake. Not for Lord Nobunaga⊠and not for me.â
âHideyoshiââ
âIâm sorry.â There it was, the words he never liked to come out of her mouth. Now he was saying them, and only because he could not live with the guilt otherwise. âIâm sorry it came to this. I⊠I should have settled things between us the moment before it was too late.â
âHideyoshi, wait.â Mai intervened. âIâmâ Iâm not liking this. Itâs not like that. Look at me.â She looked at his eyes and that forced him to look back. He looked so lost, and she was afraid that he could never truly find his way back to where they were. If they couldnât move forward, best believe she wouldnât want him to go even further back! âYou found out my feelings. And Iâm pretty sure thereâs a part of you that feels the same. But Iâm not asking you to do anything. What we have is enough.â
âItâs not supposed to be enough for you.â He shook his head. For him, there was nothing else he could lose at this point. âYouâre right. I love you. I care about you so much, even more than you ever knew, but you deserve much more. Youâre not supposed to be stuck pining for someone who already has a foot down the grave.â
His life belonged to his lordâs cause. As much as his heart yearned for her, he may never find it in himself to choose survival if it meant surrendering a chance for Nobunagaâs ambition to come to fruition. That was what made him draw the line⊠but that line is blurring. He was wavering.
â...Please, Mai. Let me.â He pulled her petite figure into his arms. As if molding the feeling into his mind, he stayed there for a while, and she let him. She stood there with mixed emotions and tears in her eyes. âLet me be the one to take the hit.â
You donât have to feel like you need to do things for me. Like you have to push down your feelings just for me.Â
âYou donât have to do those things for my sake anymore.â
âSo youâre saying⊠you are only going to accept your death, but not mine? That you have to die before me?â She hastily squirmed out of his hug and reached out to get a hold of him. âPlease⊠anything but that!â
âMaiââ
âI know.â She whispered. Hideyoshi couldnât talk back at the sight of her tears. âI know you have greater things to accomplish. I know the time where I have to say goodbye may come eventually. I know that⊠but I donât want to hear you say that you would rather trade your life for mineâŠ!â
â...Can you really blame me?â He managed to answer. âYour life is meant to be well-lived, so you should live well. Itâs not meant to be taken away so early for something so unfortunate.â
âYouâre not hearing me.â Mai sighed. âYou think my love for you is an unfortunate thing that happened to me? You are the reason why I am still standing here. You were there with me when I was starting to lose my mind because of my situation. All the things you did for me saved me, Hideyoshi. Whether you acknowledge it or not, you are someone important to me. Very, very important.âÂ
It wasnât the time to succumb to her fears. If this was the moment meant for their feelings, then she would not leave anything out. It was all or nothing.
âThe love I have for you will never be something that will bring me down.â She said with the resolve that he was starting to lose. âYou believe that you will someday give up your life for the sake of Nobunaga and his ambitions⊠no, youâre dedicated to giving up your life for that. But that is the âunfortunateâ thing thatâs going to take my life away. How about that?â
âStop. That canât be true.â
âItâs not unbelievable, is it? Because itâs familiar to you. Because thatâs what you were telling me just now.â
They continued to stare at each other until the man heaved a sigh. Meanwhile, Mai continued to hold his hand, perhaps to console herself. She thought back on Ieyasuâs words. They really did need the talk.
â...Did you know what Nobunaga told me when I did what I did?â Mai recalled what happened right after she tried to shield Nobunaga. âHe said he hated the aspect of someone dying for his sake. âWhat is the purpose of devoting yourself to a cause if you are not there to witness it?â, he told me.â
Hideyoshiâs eyes lit up in acknowledgement; he knew it to be true.Â
âDo you think he does not wish for his own allies to see the fruits of all your efforts? The future that you have always been fighting for?â She said, âHe told me to live. He told me to live so I can see the future he has envisioned. Doesnât that also extend to you?â
âCanât you see, Hideyoshi? Nobunaga will never see your death as a benefit, because you are not just an asset to him. And Iââ She bit her lip. No. I should say it. âMy life will never be the same if you die on me like that.âÂ
His desperation had died down to mere embers. Meanwhile, his urge to comfort Mai burned like blazes that cannot be tamed. He exhaled and wiped the tears welling up on the corners of her eyes. Mai took that opportunity to place her hand on his as it rested on her cheek.
âI canât imagine my life without you anymore. My life is dependent on your life and your happiness. So if you think you can remove me from your life, think again. Iâm here to stay⊠even if I remain as someone who stays at the other side of the line.â Her eyes now clear, Mai spoke not with despair but with confidence. Hideyoshi looked at her with surprise, and newfound adoration. âSo, promise me. Promise me that no matter what, you will always fight to come back. Come home where we could live our lives in a time of peace that you worked so hard for.â
He was not supposed to be able to promise that. Not everything goes according to plan, after all. But she was confident in her words; she truly believed that they would not lose to fate. And funnily enough, if there was anyone who can attest to the ability of surpassing the impossible, it was her.Â
Going so far as to take responsibility for my life⊠when I should be the one shouldering that. His mind that was drowning in the shadows of questions and doubts was slowly being pierced by light. It wasnât the first time he got to see that light, and he knew it was because of this woman in front of him.Â
His precious person, the sun of his life.
â...You win.â
âHuh?â
There was a hint of clarity regained in Hideyoshiâs eyes. He wasnât trembling anymore. Mai looked up to him with confusion.
âI want to show you something.â
And thus their quiet trip back to his manor. While she barely has an idea on whatâs going on, Mai did not say a word at the thought that maybe she got to him. She doesnât feel as nervous as when she first found him back there.Â
She hoped she managed to reach his heart.Â
The sun was beginning to rise when they reached his room. Hideyoshi urged her to sit down, and she watched as he reached for something at one of the drawers. Curiously, when he found it, he seemed embarrassed. Mai turned to what he had placed on the desk, and it was quite familiarâŠ
âIt turns out we were doing the same thing all this time.â
The box was full of papers; some were rolled into scrolls, some were unfolded and piled, some were even damaged and crumpled but kept there nonetheless.
âYouâŠ?â The more she realized, the more her face heated up. Hideyoshi faked a cough to try to dispel the awkward atmosphere. âAre these⊠letters?â
â...Yeah. Letters I wrote that were meant for you.â He confessed. âWhile it was not my intention to find your letters, Iâm still sorry that I read it without your permission.â
âI-Itâs fine. It was addressed to you, anyway.â Though most of it were just embarrassing journal entries of my developing love for him all this timeâ oh, God. This is embarrassing! With that realization, Mai tried to hide her face in her hands. âThis conversation took quite a turn, huh⊠Ha haâŠâ
â...Mai.â
âYes?â
âI know this is embarrassing for you, so Iâm letting you read these, too.â
âO-Oh?â She meekly let down her hands to look at him. Hideyoshi was avoiding her gaze, so she turned to the letters settled in between them. âAre you sure?â
He nodded. Mai picked up one of the unfolded papers. It really was a letter for her.Â
Letters to thank her for her work. Letters to remind her not to work too hard. Letters to wish her safety on her journeys outside Azuchi where he could not accompany her. Letters that reveal only a fraction of how much he cared for her; most of the time, she already knew it. Because his actions always communicated that, whenever he tries to help her and protects her from all danger.
Then she turned to the scrolls. For some reason, she almost didnât want to reach out to it, but she did. Hideyoshi was silent in front of her as she read it.
They were formal requests to Nobunaga and the other warlords. In the event that I would lose my life on the battlefield⊠I ask that Mai would be given the freedom to live her life the way she wants it. I ask that she would be supported in her endeavorsâŠ
Hideyoshi only watched her as she quietly returned the scrolls. Then, she turned to face him.
âThank you for letting me read them.â Of all the reactions he expected her to have, he didnât believe she would smile. But she smiled brightly at him. âIt makes me happy to know that you thought about me so much.â
â...Youâre not bothered by the fact that I am still this coward of a man who still would not hesitate to do everything just to realize my lordâs ambition?â
âThat fact is something that is a part of you, and I love you, so that means that is also something that I love about you.â Hideyoshi was taken aback at her clear answer. âI love that youâre dedicated, and I love that you still think of me despite your expectations about your fate. In fact, it makes my love for you all the more meaningful.â
âYou really areâŠâ He paused. Mai stared at him as his eyes focused on her, narrowing with affection while his mouth perked with a smile. â...a special person to me.â
While they were going back to the manor, Hideyoshiâs mind kept going back to her firm words. True enough, he realized that all this time, he had only focused on the end result. It was always about his eventual death that kept him from realizing the present. And when he actually did consider the present, it was not even a question anymore. All he did, all he wanted to do, all he tried not to do but did anyway, it was all answering what he really desired.
He really was such a fool. Dedicating himself to ensure life without restrictions but he restricted himself to living his life.Â
Letting her go without doing anything would mean disregarding myself and my own feelings again. If she really meant that her lifeâs fulfillment has to involve his own, then taking steps to consider himself â to love himself for once â would make her happy.Â
âŠThere really is no one like her.
âI want you to listen to what Iâm going to say.â
Just like what she did a while ago, Hideyoshi reached out to hold her hands. They were smaller in his, and having her fingertips delicately rest on his palms made the instinct to protect her all the more intense. And just like what he did, Mai wordlessly watched as he prepared to tell her everything. Â
âIâve been thinking⊠and I still believe that I deserve all the things I would lose if you decide to leave me and go. I want to be with you, but I canât believe just yet that Iâm worthy of you all of a sudden. I donât even know if this really is the right thing to do. Iâm not sure of a lot of things, even though you tell me itâs okay.âÂ
Iâm really just a coward. Hideyoshi smiled wryly as he shook his head. The doubt was creeping in once more, so he held her hands firmly. She responded by squeezing his hands back.Â
Now that he thought about it, itâs funny how easy it was for them to hold hands like this.Â
Although it turned out that it wonât be enough. He turned out to be selfish and greedy.
âWhat I can say, with complete certainty, is that you laid a mark within me. Something I cannot erase nor surrender. Something that is compelling me to say all of this despite my fears because⊠because if I could not see you againâŠâ The imaginary sight he saw a while ago came back. What if Mitsuhide was not able to interfere with the assassination attempt? What if she got hurt, got shot? â...I finally understood what you meant by what you said then, because just thinking about the possibility that youâd leave me⊠I just know that I would drown in all my love, guilt, and regrets. I would feel your absence like a thousand deaths.âÂ
âOh, HideyoshiâŠâ
Lovers in all but name. While their current relationship did not match the extent of their feelings, their bond had reached the point beyond their comprehension. Their hearts were mirrors that reflected each otherâs love and fears, and thus the unending cycle of turning away at the moment of truth.Â
But constant back-and-forths like that would do nothing to end it. It would only cause friction, tension, and eventually snap into something irreversible.Â
That ends now.
He moved to intertwine their fingers together. Oh, how natural it felt.
âIf youâre willing to accept me, then letâs live. Let us be happy together.â
Maiâs face bloomed like a flower that had always patiently waited for the sun to let it bloom. A pretty shade of pink dusted her cheeks as she laughed with great relief and joy. The sight of it rejuvenated something inside the man, like he was finally unburdened by something heavy that kept him from reaching her.Â
Now, he found the courage to go to her.
He gently lifted one hand towards his lips and placed a kiss on her fingers. Mai felt his warm breath on her skin, and it seemed to have delivered heat to her face, since it slowly felt hotter. He stole a glance and felt a bit of pride, and a lot of affection.Â
Sheâs so cute right now.
Mai stared at him with wonder. She wasnât sure if this was really happening. Oh, but her heart is so full to the point of bursting. There really is nothing like loving and being loved back. And despite the treacherous path they are taking, she believes that sheâll be okay as long as he is there.Â
Now, she finally had him.
She shook her head as she mumbled. âOh, you and your casanova waysâŠâ
Heâs so handsome right now.
âWhat was that?â
âN-Nothing.â She cleared her throat. âI just⊠donât know what to say.â
We canât have that, can we?
âWe donât have to say anything anymore. We have all the letters to say what we always wanted to tell each other.â Hideyoshi tugged at her hand as he moved closer to her side. âActually⊠Iâm thinking of something else other than talking.â
The pink on her cheeks grew brighter that it was undeniable she was positively blushing. He even felt his own face growing warmer at the suggestion.Â
â...I donât see any more reasons why we have to talk, then.â Hideyoshi chuckled at her coy response, or perhaps it was something out of relief. âActually⊠Iâm probably thinking of the same thing.â
He grinned with a bit of mischief. âI wonder if we really are thinking of the same thing.â
She pouted. âAnd here I thought we were tired of guessing games.â
âI canât have you growing tired of me, can I? Not after this.âÂ
Hideyoshi stood up and with a final tug of her hand, he pulled her up only to place an arm at her back to support her. At closer proximity, both of them saw the heat on their cheeks, and a hotter fire in their eyes.
As if finally tied together by the line that separated them all this time, their lips met in a tender kiss. Each had their own imagination of what it would feel like, but the real thing surpassed that. Pushed by the bliss of finally reaching each otherâs feelings, they sought one another. The tension gradually went sky high as their hands worked with urgency. The kiss grew ardent, passionate.Â
And thus the beginnings of an everlasting love came with the magnificence of the rising sun.
heyooooo! sorry but i could do one suitor per fic, so i chose only one from the five you mentioned with the help of spin the wheel lol. i tried to add everyone else tho!!!Â
also sorry it took so long! i had trouble accessing my account :<
tw: mention of death and childbirth
The warlords of the Oda forces had finally arrived.
With a solemn glance towards the door, Kenshin heaved a deep breath before forcing himself to stand and see that the visitors were attended.Â
âIt seems they are here. Just a moment, my love.â
âYou may stay where you are.â An authoritative voice still, but it was the most sympathetic tone one can get from Nobunaga. The will of the war god was buried so deep that Kenshin could only nod and turn back to his post, just beside the funeral arrangement.
Following Nobunaga were Mitsuhide, Masamune, and Ieyasu. They all looked at the most ornate urn enshrined at the arrangement, surrounded by the prettiest of flora. The look in their eyes told him a lot of things, like how they reminisced how she would place the same flowers in the castle during her days as chatelaine. Even the mementos of her that were displayed, they had a memory or two about it. Kenshin watched silently as they paid their respects in their own ways, a voice in his mind whispering: âItâs what she would have wanted.â
 âIt is an unfortunate turn of events.â Mitsuhide commented, as he stood at the side with Kenshin. âAlthough, curiosity demands⊠Where is the child?â
Kenshin closed his eyes. âIn another room, with the caretakers. He⊠does not seem to be able to take in his motherâs death.â
âOh?â
âHe wails whenever someone brings him here.â He said. âAs if he knows.â
With that, a memory came to mind. Fresh with its tears and whispers.
âKen...shinâŠâ
âWhat is wrong? Do you feel unwell? Should I call forââ
âIs⊠our child⊠alright?â
His instinct was roaring with nothing but growing dread, but when he turned to the small, quiet bundle he cradled in his armsâŠ
âO-Of course. You made sure he was well.â With only a sliver of control, he uttered. âHe⊠He has your eyes.â
âDoes he...?â A breathless laugh; for all her joy, that was the only thing she managed. âThatâs... great. You⊠loved my eyes... didnât you?â
âYes. I love everything about you.â
Something was screaming inside him, but he sat still. His hand held hers tightly, perhaps to make up for the lack of strength she had just to hold his hand back. He kept the child closer to his chest, just to be able to feel even the faintest of breaths as he doesnât seem to feel his anymore. But it was quiet. Too quiet.
In that room, everything was still. No one moved.Â
Her face did not lose its serene smile despite all the energy she lost.Â
âI⊠love⊠you⊠tooâŠâ
The child finally had its first cry, after his mother uttered her last words. The midwife and her assistants immediately entered the room, and only then did Kenshin find himself back to reality. Or perhaps even then, he was still floating in the sea of denial, and his body was only being moved by the comings and goings of the castle in response to the death of their lordâs wife.
âLife truly works in mysterious and utterly dastardly ways.â Mitsuhide wore a depreciating smile as he observed the widower. âFor all her kindness, I assume she would choose to offer herself for another⊠and this world allowed it.â
â...Yes. She is warmhearted⊠like thatâŠâ
Her eyes always told him what was in her heart. Kenshin could stare into her eyes and find warmth, even in the coldest of winters. He could still see her soft gaze towards him, filled with the purest of love. And with that love, he could go on.
To receive is to give something back in return.
And for the remainder of his days, he will pour her love towards the one she had given her life to.Â
âWell, we wonât overstay our welcome.â Masamune approached, with the other two behind. âThank you for allowing us to visit. Azuchi and the Oda are truly grateful for her.â
âIt will be dishonoring her if I reject you, and that is the last thing I wish to do.âÂ
âMay she find peace⊠wherever she is.â
After the visitors left, Kenshin pondered on a lot of things while he stared at the altar erected in her memory. âYou⊠You will not forgive me if I abandon our child, no?âÂ
He just had to have the same eyes. The same face. Whenever he looked at their baby, he always felt like he was losing her all over again.Â
ButâŠ
âPerhaps⊠it is so that I will not forget youâŠ?â At that realization, a laugh escaped him. âAs if I would ever forget you.â
He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them, there was hope for acceptance.
âI swear this to you,â Laying down his beloved sword before her altar, Kenshin went down to one knee, âI will look after him, come hell or high water. He will grow up to be as strong and kind as you.â
âIn return⊠Give me the courage to continue.â
first official writing for this blog and let me tell you i went all in it with the pain sorry not sorry
for my lovely waifu @kamesamaââ, thank you for the inspiration and joining me for this angst. i may or may not have gone overboard.
⊠⧠⊠⧠âŠ
âȘ Â GUIDELINES
â GENERAL:
   â warnings: angst, mention of religion, minor route spoilers, did i mention angst
  â others: gender neutral, established relationship
â Word Count : 4140
The night was still and quiet, quiet compared to where you had come from. There were no sounds of cars or busy people during the late nights. No glare of lights from the houses or the distant halo of towns and cities in the distance. Instead, there was a peaceful calm, a silence that mixed with the gentle sound of the wind and soft chirps of the wildlife. There were no sounds of people, just the night in all its life as the stars shined brightly down at you.
By now you had gotten accustomed to sleeping and rising with the sun without an alarm. Your schedule had adjusted for the time period after being here for so long. Though there were some nights where you could not sleep. Or, to put it more accurately, where you tried to sleep and found yourself waking up in tears.
Iâm finally seeing the light at the end of the schoolwork tunnel lmao. Slowly creeping back to my tumblr + otome games (altho i thankfully did not miss a lot on our boi theo, just riding through my pool of tears like a fun water slide)
Anyways! Back to it!
Thereâs still the ikesen dialogue prompt list available if u guys want in on that. haven't gotten time to arrange the prompt lists from the other games but weâre getting there haha.Â
i know october should be spooky season but i,,, honestly have no idea,,, how to incorporate that lmao (maybe yall know some good prompt lists?)
Also friendly reminder to please check the posts for my request guide and rules when requesting ~
hi, itâs me again. i just recently finished the last two requests in my inbox. yay!
(again sorry it was late ksnbdahsvd)
anyways, currently im preparing to participate in the upcoming theo countdown party so i guess iâll open reqs again after that! hopefully after i post mitsuhideâs bday fic,,,,Â
feel free to suggest what you guys would like for the next req opening (prompts again, maybe?)Â
friendly reminder on requesting:Â
i have a request guide and rules so pls check before requesting~Â
thanks for reading my stuff! âĄ
ok so unexpectedly (or expectedly) i got swamped with work so i may delay opening reqs for a while. unfortunately, i couldnt sneak in writing or tumblr in my packed schedule (i once had to speed through 7 fucking essays due in one day ajdsvgadcvgsa)
i hope it gives me a break soon kashdvkgv
and sidenote! reqs are currently closed, meaning im not accepting them just yet. and ^^^^^ for rules and request guide :>
She removed her gaze from the flowers on the vast meadow to turn to her lover beside her who suddenly inquired that particular question. Still gazing at the flowers, his profile looked handsome as the breeze gently tousled his hair.
ââŠBecause you taught me to.â
âHuh?â She only laughed at his confusion. Then as if it was natural, she placed her hand atop his.
âI guess I was first attracted at how passionate you are, if thatâs what youâre asking.â She started, turning back to the flowers. There were a lot of them at sight, an assortment of colors and shapes, yet the wildflowers swayed with the wind. âYou were so dedicated to your work that you always seemed to be brimming with life when you see art. And you found the art in almost anything, even if they didnât naturally fit in the picture.â
âBut there was no stopping you from allowing those wildflowers to breathe outside.â
She reminisced the times she watched him work, the times she couldnât look away at the sheer brilliance of him. Sometimes too zealous even, that he gets himself hurt. But that led her to get closer to him. âThen I got a peek at your heart, your beautiful heart.â
Oh, this man. What heâs been through. At some point, she wished she could just take it away so he wouldnât beat himself up. So he wouldnât feel the sorrow that was eating him from the inside for years. But he was strong, so strong. It may leave some scars, but she knew he would heal from it.
âI canât recall the exact time I fell in love with you.â She confessed. âI just know that youâre my favorite person, and if I was made to look at only one masterpiece for the rest of my life, it would be you.â
He wasnât perfect, thatâs for sure. He has a penchant for being mean. His choice of pet names. Has a lot of secrets. Sometimes has a temper.
But those were just pieces of the picture that was Theodorus van Gogh.
The love of her life.
ââŠor maybe the first time I saw you, my heart was captured, just like that.â She added with a bright smile. âLike a magnificent painting that took my breath away.â
ââŠHondje, you do realize you said a lot of embarrassing things, right?â But his large hand reached to pat her head affectionately. It was a treat to see Theo blush, but the grin on his face was nicer to look at. âI get it, I get it.â
