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so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

shymagnolia

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

Shades and ice cream on a Monday 🕶️🍨

l

#oil pastel art #oil painting #flowers #gumamela

northeywawa

joxter oil pastel doodle!!!!! (click for better quality yo)

Am I an artist?

#oil pastel #artwork #my art #beginner artist #😂

It’s the feeling of loneliness that makes us do things we never dreamt of doing.

It used to be during the ungodly hours of the day. Now in broad daylight, it happens.

I like it when you’re there.

I like the notification buzz of your messages.

I like the feeling when I know for a fact you are just a tap away.

But when you’re there that’s when I feel that I the feeling has turned differently.

POST-GRAD REALIZATIONS?!

Just realized something. But of course, realizations are wasted if turned into nothing. And so every time there's a bit of realization, there should also be action where these realizations are traced.

I realized that what i need in this internship and in the months, years that follow is my old self—my high school self that was extremely keen and passionate in the idea of learning and exerting every effort needed to make a task done.

I realized that i was so serious in my academics during my high school years and when i got into college, i lost that passion and serious ambition in everything i do. I just let the time went by, not exerting any effort in what i needed to fulfill. And up to this moment i still have that disinterest in what im doing. But i need to get rid of that now because this is the real life and im getting a front seat in what this life has to offer. Im blessed enough to receive everything im receiving right now and what do i do about them? I turn them into waste. Im wasting them. Thats gotta stop now.

I need my old self back, that passion, and seriousness in what i do. I need to be my high school self—passionate, kind, ambitious.

That's gonna be me.

(Otherwise, tatanda kang paurong.)

Me Moving On

I want to turn this energy into a creative output I could touch.

Tagaytay Thoughts

I arrived here in Tagaytay last night. My friends kept me accompanied. But it's still you that keeps crossing my mind. I'm alone here now and they've gone off to their internships. I miss you still. Now there's just me, my thoughts, and you.

---

I was reminded of this show I used to watch as a teen where a young bi guy fell in love with an older homo guy. They got into a relationship as far as I can remember. The youngster kept asking why the oldy was so loosened up about everything and wasn't giving him any restrictions when in fact he should be 'cause they're in a relationship. The oldy said something like, "I'm an old man. I don't have much time to live. Let me experience things I want to experience before I die. I love you still though but I also want you to live your life [without restrictions]. Do whatever you want while you still got time. You're young and the possibilities are endless."

I felt moved.

He was right. As a youngster, I've got plenty of time to do what I want to do. To live my life the way I want to live it. Ms. Mylene, our buddy in this internship always mentions, "You guys are young. You have the luxury of time." And most of the time, people realize it when their time's already running out and the only journey to take is the one they've chosen a long time ago -- which more often than not, is a journey nobody would want to saunter.

That's my realization. But I shouldn't dwell on realizations alone. There's gotta be some application through which I'd apply my learnings.

So I made a pact with myself to never cry 'cause it's over. But rather smile 'cause it happened and there's always a chance for me to do things better since I've got time and it's the only luxury that's worth a treasure. I'd also wanna grab everything opportunity there is 'cause I don't wanna have regrets in the future of not trying things out.

But of course, all with these thoughts comes the warning to always keep myself grounded in reality while attaining the outcome of this life I wish to have -- to experience all the corners of it.

Was able to reach this mile April 3 alone 😜🫶🏻

im so wasted today 12th of april 2023. we went on a swimming trip in batangas along with my previous internship supervisor as well as other interns who are currently rendering their internship hours at the rehabilitation center.

it was so messed up. took a lot of gin, now my world's falling apart.

i walked the streets of sm pala-pala with trish and zean at 6am today. it was a nice morning, there were clouds above that threatened rain. im just glad it didn't rain when i was walking home.

kuya oliver (the cook of the rehab center i interned at) told me he saw me a sweet boy for being close to almost every intern at the rehab center. because of his compliment, i finished all gin left. now im gonna die of the feeling.

M A B A I T

not being generous

not being courteous

the act of standing up to responsibilities expected of him to perform.

(Dan, 2023)