Dr. Pilchard

(All credits to @flamet-draws for the pfp) Doctor Ignis Pilchard he/him Scientist and self proclaimed genius

[celest-i4l]

I will give you money if you go bother @drpilchar

Don’t even have to bite him just be there.

Hmmm anything else other than just money??

[drpilchar]

Maybe we don’t annoy me, just a thought

[celest-i4l]

Well where's the fun in that? I love annoying people!

[drpilchar]

And WHY is that?

[celest-i4l]

Because it's fun.

[drpilchar]

I… don’t understand. Is that your only source of fun? If so science is fascinating if you need another form-

[celest-i4l]

Well science is fun but it can be a bit monotonous sometimes. And what better than to annoy the shit out of someone until they shoot you!

[drpilchar]

…I’m sorry? Until they… what?

[celest-i4l]

Until they shoot you! Or toss you out the airlock. Or into a star.

[drpilchar]

A… star?? What is the matter with you??

[celest-i4l]

Hey, Brian was in a star for a bit, he turned out fine.

[drpilchar]

You… have you hit your head?

[celest-i4l]

Nope! Have you?

[drpilchar]

You are… fascinating

[celest-i4l]

Thank you!

[drpilchar]

I’m not quite sure I meant that as a compliment.

[celest-i4l]

Oh. Well uh.

[drpilchar]

yes…

[celest-i4l]

Well I'm gonna go fight someone...

[drpilchar]

As long as it’s not myself, go for it.

[celest-i4l]

I can go after you :) you deserve it anyways!

[drpilchar]

I’d rather you didn’t…

[celest-i4l]

awh :(

[drpilchar]

I’m a busy man… and I prefer no physical harm done to my person.

[drpilchar]

(You walk into the room that you’re sleeping in, and you see that it’s full of cans of food. Like, the good kind.)

-🕷️🕸️

Oh!-

*He steps back and takes in the scene, smiles a bit and grabs a can.*

[spiderweb-anon]

(The tarantula you were given at Christmas stands in the center of the room, proudly.)

(The spider’s name is Molly btw, just so I can refer to her as such without others getting confused)

[drpilchar]

Oh- hello there- *he smiles softly*

[spiderweb-anon]

(She waves back.)

[drpilchar]

Good to see you- and the food is a nice surprise

[spiderweb-anon]

(The tarantula had, in fact, never left and has actually been trying to make sure he ate 3 meals a day and slept at least 8 hours for months now. If this worked in getting him to eat properly, she would be very happy.)

[drpilchar]

*He turned the can over in his hand*

I suppose I could eat.

[spiderweb-anon]

(Pilchard has played directly into Molly’s… hands? Paws? Mod isn’t exactly sure what the tip of a spiders leg is called but I’m sure it’s paws.)

[drpilchar]

*He sits down next to Molly and continues to turn the can over.*

[celest-i4l]

I will give you money if you go bother @drpilchar

Don’t even have to bite him just be there.

Hmmm anything else other than just money??

[drpilchar]

Maybe we don’t annoy me, just a thought

[celest-i4l]

Well where's the fun in that? I love annoying people!

[drpilchar]

And WHY is that?

[celest-i4l]

Because it's fun.

[drpilchar]

I… don’t understand. Is that your only source of fun? If so science is fascinating if you need another form-

[celest-i4l]

Well science is fun but it can be a bit monotonous sometimes. And what better than to annoy the shit out of someone until they shoot you!

[drpilchar]

…I’m sorry? Until they… what?

[celest-i4l]

Until they shoot you! Or toss you out the airlock. Or into a star.

[drpilchar]

A… star?? What is the matter with you??

[celest-i4l]

Hey, Brian was in a star for a bit, he turned out fine.

[drpilchar]

You… have you hit your head?

[celest-i4l]

Nope! Have you?

[drpilchar]

You are… fascinating

[celest-i4l]

Thank you!

[drpilchar]

I’m not quite sure I meant that as a compliment.

[celest-i4l]

Oh. Well uh.

[drpilchar]

yes…

[celest-i4l]

Well I'm gonna go fight someone...

[drpilchar]

As long as it’s not myself, go for it.

[celest-i4l]

I can go after you :) you deserve it anyways!

[drpilchar]

I’d rather you didn’t…

[drpilchar]

(You walk into the room that you’re sleeping in, and you see that it’s full of cans of food. Like, the good kind.)

-🕷️🕸️

Oh!-

*He steps back and takes in the scene, smiles a bit and grabs a can.*

[spiderweb-anon]

(The tarantula you were given at Christmas stands in the center of the room, proudly.)

(The spider’s name is Molly btw, just so I can refer to her as such without others getting confused)

[drpilchar]

Oh- hello there- *he smiles softly*

[spiderweb-anon]

(She waves back.)

[drpilchar]

Good to see you- and the food is a nice surprise

[spiderweb-anon]

(The tarantula had, in fact, never left and has actually been trying to make sure he ate 3 meals a day and slept at least 8 hours for months now. If this worked in getting him to eat properly, she would be very happy.)

[drpilchar]

*He turned the can over in his hand*

I suppose I could eat.

[drpilchar]

(You walk into the room that you’re sleeping in, and you see that it’s full of cans of food. Like, the good kind.)

-🕷️🕸️

Oh!-

*He steps back and takes in the scene, smiles a bit and grabs a can.*

[spiderweb-anon]

(The tarantula you were given at Christmas stands in the center of the room, proudly.)

(The spider’s name is Molly btw, just so I can refer to her as such without others getting confused)

[drpilchar]

Oh- hello there- *he smiles softly*

[spiderweb-anon]

(She waves back.)

[drpilchar]

Good to see you- and the food is a nice surprise

[celest-i4l]

I will give you money if you go bother @drpilchar

Don’t even have to bite him just be there.

Hmmm anything else other than just money??

[drpilchar]

Maybe we don’t annoy me, just a thought

[celest-i4l]

Well where's the fun in that? I love annoying people!

[drpilchar]

And WHY is that?

[celest-i4l]

Because it's fun.

[drpilchar]

I… don’t understand. Is that your only source of fun? If so science is fascinating if you need another form-

[celest-i4l]

Well science is fun but it can be a bit monotonous sometimes. And what better than to annoy the shit out of someone until they shoot you!

[drpilchar]

…I’m sorry? Until they… what?

[celest-i4l]

Until they shoot you! Or toss you out the airlock. Or into a star.

[drpilchar]

A… star?? What is the matter with you??

[celest-i4l]

Hey, Brian was in a star for a bit, he turned out fine.

[drpilchar]

You… have you hit your head?

[celest-i4l]

Nope! Have you?

[drpilchar]

You are… fascinating

[celest-i4l]

Thank you!

[drpilchar]

I’m not quite sure I meant that as a compliment.

[celest-i4l]

Oh. Well uh.

[drpilchar]

yes…

[celest-i4l]

Well I'm gonna go fight someone...

[drpilchar]

As long as it’s not myself, go for it.

[celest-i4l]

I will give you money if you go bother @drpilchar

Don’t even have to bite him just be there.

Hmmm anything else other than just money??

[drpilchar]

Maybe we don’t annoy me, just a thought

[celest-i4l]

Well where's the fun in that? I love annoying people!

[drpilchar]

And WHY is that?

[celest-i4l]

Because it's fun.

[drpilchar]

I… don’t understand. Is that your only source of fun? If so science is fascinating if you need another form-

[celest-i4l]

Well science is fun but it can be a bit monotonous sometimes. And what better than to annoy the shit out of someone until they shoot you!

[drpilchar]

…I’m sorry? Until they… what?

[celest-i4l]

Until they shoot you! Or toss you out the airlock. Or into a star.

[drpilchar]

A… star?? What is the matter with you??

[celest-i4l]

Hey, Brian was in a star for a bit, he turned out fine.

[drpilchar]

You… have you hit your head?

[celest-i4l]

Nope! Have you?

[drpilchar]

You are… fascinating

[celest-i4l]

Thank you!

[drpilchar]

I’m not quite sure I meant that as a compliment.

[celest-i4l]

Oh. Well uh.

[drpilchar]

yes…

[celest-i4l]

Well I'm gonna go fight someone...

[drpilchar]

How old are you?

Oh… well… if I’m honest I gave up on counting birthdays a while ago… I’ve been more concerned with immortality.

I suppose I started my journey early twenties… I suppose I’m in my later thirties?

[drpilchar]

how tall are you?

170.18 cm… or 5’7 about. Why?

[drpilchar]

Silk forgot to tell you about the physical attributes about being a Web Avatar so I’m telling you.

-Fangs, and the fact that some Avatars of The Web are venomous (Silk has a neurotoxin she found out about in a pretty horrible way)

-Around 3 extra eyes resembling those of a spiders. 2 under the regular eye, one above.

-Hair turns white.

Strange… Thank you that’s very informative.

[drpilchar]

Notes about Arachne if you ever want to meet her to find out more about her immortality.

-She scares an ex-mercenary on her ship even though he’s much taller that her, and will run full speed at him because “it’s funny to see him scared by someone smaller than him”.

-She’s venomous, but it’s just very painful and not deadly.

-She’s bitten one Jonny D’Ville before. Turns out her venom can kill him, and she ended up getting immortality-giving prosthetics after he ripped her fangs out when she tried again. This doesn’t count what she did to him when she discovered alchemy.

-Chaotic. May bite.

-You may want to stay clear from asking her about immortality actually.

Interesting…

[celest-i4l]

I will give you money if you go bother @drpilchar

Don’t even have to bite him just be there.

Hmmm anything else other than just money??

[drpilchar]

Maybe we don’t annoy me, just a thought

[celest-i4l]

Well where's the fun in that? I love annoying people!

[drpilchar]

And WHY is that?

[celest-i4l]

Because it's fun.

[drpilchar]

I… don’t understand. Is that your only source of fun? If so science is fascinating if you need another form-

[celest-i4l]

Well science is fun but it can be a bit monotonous sometimes. And what better than to annoy the shit out of someone until they shoot you!

[drpilchar]

…I’m sorry? Until they… what?

[celest-i4l]

Until they shoot you! Or toss you out the airlock. Or into a star.

[drpilchar]

A… star?? What is the matter with you??

[celest-i4l]

Hey, Brian was in a star for a bit, he turned out fine.

[drpilchar]

You… have you hit your head?

[celest-i4l]

Nope! Have you?

[drpilchar]

You are… fascinating

[celest-i4l]

Thank you!

[drpilchar]

I’m not quite sure I meant that as a compliment.

[celest-i4l]

Oh. Well uh.

[drpilchar]

yes…

[drpilchar]

(You walk into the room that you’re sleeping in, and you see that it’s full of cans of food. Like, the good kind.)

-🕷️🕸️

Oh!-

*He steps back and takes in the scene, smiles a bit and grabs a can.*

[spiderweb-anon]

(The tarantula you were given at Christmas stands in the center of the room, proudly.)

(The spider’s name is Molly btw, just so I can refer to her as such without others getting confused)

[drpilchar]

Oh- hello there- *he smiles softly*

[celest-i4l]

I will give you money if you go bother @drpilchar

Don’t even have to bite him just be there.

Hmmm anything else other than just money??

[drpilchar]

Maybe we don’t annoy me, just a thought

[celest-i4l]

Well where's the fun in that? I love annoying people!

[drpilchar]

And WHY is that?

[celest-i4l]

Because it's fun.

[drpilchar]

I… don’t understand. Is that your only source of fun? If so science is fascinating if you need another form-

[celest-i4l]

Well science is fun but it can be a bit monotonous sometimes. And what better than to annoy the shit out of someone until they shoot you!

[drpilchar]

…I’m sorry? Until they… what?

[celest-i4l]

Until they shoot you! Or toss you out the airlock. Or into a star.

[drpilchar]

A… star?? What is the matter with you??

[celest-i4l]

Hey, Brian was in a star for a bit, he turned out fine.

[drpilchar]

You… have you hit your head?

[celest-i4l]

Nope! Have you?

[drpilchar]

You are… fascinating

[celest-i4l]

Thank you!

[drpilchar]

I’m not quite sure I meant that as a compliment.

[drpilchar]

(You walk into the room that you’re sleeping in, and you see that it’s full of cans of food. Like, the good kind.)

-🕷️🕸️

Oh!-

*He steps back and takes in the scene, smiles a bit and grabs a can.*

[spiderweb-anon]

When you said it was a shame I didn’t like spiders because they liked me… can you elaborate?

- @drpilchar

It just means that they like you. I don’t see why you’re so confused about that. They see potential in you. For what, I’m not sure, but any potential is good potential in The Web’s eyes.

(As she speaks, a spider pops its head out of her hair and seems to say hello, in its own little way.)

[drpilchar]

Potential… right- and the Web? Is that one of the fears I’ve been hearing about? I truly cannot keep track and I’ve got, no offense more pressing issues… immortality and all.

…Hello? (He waves awkwardly at the small spider)

[spiderweb-anon]

(She sighs)

Yes, The Web is one of the fears. More specifically, it has domains over Arachnophobia and the fear of being manipulated or controlled.

[drpilchar]

Ah… yes. That makes sense, I’m neutral on spiders for the most part. But I mean, obviously, I’m not a big fan of being manipulated. I- I hope that doesn’t offend?

[spiderweb-anon]

No offence taken.

[drpilchar]

What do these fears- specifically the web do? I mean besides… scare people? Do they give you abilities? Affect people- actually let me get a notepad and write this down!

(Pilchard scrambles around for one of his many, many notebooks.)

[spiderweb-anon]

Well, all of them feed off of fear, The Web is no exception. Those who serve The Fears, mostly to the point they become what we call an Avatar, all get different “perks”, so to speak. Also there’s changes in your appearance.

When it comes to serving The Web, it allows me to actually understand my spiders, as if we were speaking the same language. It also allows me to basically mind control someone while they’re completely aware of what’s happening, or as the spiders like to call it, “pulling a fae”.

[drpilchar]

(Pilchard pauses for a moment) that is… mildly disturbing. How often do you… control people?

[spiderweb-anon]

I usually prefer not to, but every now and then there’s an asswhole who forces me to do so.

[drpilchar]

…Forces you? I’m sorry this whole idea is a lot to wrap my head around, I’m familiar with… a lot of different sciences and studies but I just can’t believe I’ve never heard of this.

[spiderweb-anon]

That’s fair. The Fears were only able to interact with mortal beings in one universe until 7 years ago, and even then most didn’t know about them, whether it was through skepticism, people not even coming across even a creature aligned with one of them, or someone not surviving the encounter with one of them.

[drpilchar]

Not… surviving the encounter?

[spiderweb-anon]

Just because each of The Fears & those who serve them feed off of fear, doesn’t mean that the people they’re feeding off of need to be kept alive. Plus the fact that each Fear needs to feed off of the specific fear/fears that created them… There aren’t many human survivors, especially when it comes to those who’ve encountered the more… violent ones.

[drpilchar]

Ah… and would the Web be considered…. Violent?

[spiderweb-anon]

No, no it wouldn’t.

[drpilchar]

Ah, well, good news. What fears WOULD be considered… violent.

[spiderweb-anon]

The Hunt & The Slaughter. Born from the fears on being chased & being prey for The Hunt, and unpredictable violence and war for The Slaughter.

[drpilchar]

Avoid the Hunt and Slaughter. Got it.

[spiderweb-anon]

Yeah, you do not want to be on the bad side of anyone serving those two fears.

[drpilchar]

What do they… do?

[spiderweb-anon]

Avatars of The Slaughter are more prone to violence. If you anger them, you’re likely to get attacked and/or killed.

Avatars of The Hunt can track anyone down easily, making it hard for someone they want to kill to escape. Plus, they’re usually found in packs of 2 or more. Doesn’t even have to only be Hunt Avatars in the pack. I heard about one who worked with a human.

[drpilchar]

Those are both… interesting. You know I could look into them… preferably after discovering immortality.

[spiderweb-anon]

Why is discovering immortality important?

[drpilchar]

I beg your pardon? It’s my life’s work!

[spiderweb-anon]

But why is finding it important? To you?

[drpilchar]

It’s immortality for the many many gods sakes! If I achieve it I can do anything I want- have the time to do it-

[spiderweb-anon]

And what happens when you have done everything you want.

[drpilchar]

Well… I’ll keep making scientific discoveries!

[spiderweb-anon]

And when there’s nothing left to discover?

[drpilchar]

I… why are you asking me this?

[spiderweb-anon]

To know why finding immortality is important to you.

[drpilchar]

Why does it matter? To you, I mean.

[spiderweb-anon]

…

I want to know if your doing something you might eventually regret.

[drpilchar]

Well I appreciate it but I think I know what I’m doing.

[spiderweb-anon]

Do you truly? Or do you just wish to think that.

[drpilchar]

I… don’t enjoy this line of questioning.

[spiderweb-anon]

Alright, then I’ll stop.

[drpilchar]

Good.

…

I do appreciate your concern though

[celest-i4l]

I will give you money if you go bother @drpilchar

Don’t even have to bite him just be there.

Hmmm anything else other than just money??

[drpilchar]

Maybe we don’t annoy me, just a thought

[celest-i4l]

Well where's the fun in that? I love annoying people!

[drpilchar]

And WHY is that?

[celest-i4l]

Because it's fun.

[drpilchar]

I… don’t understand. Is that your only source of fun? If so science is fascinating if you need another form-

[celest-i4l]

Well science is fun but it can be a bit monotonous sometimes. And what better than to annoy the shit out of someone until they shoot you!

[drpilchar]

…I’m sorry? Until they… what?

[celest-i4l]

Until they shoot you! Or toss you out the airlock. Or into a star.

[drpilchar]

A… star?? What is the matter with you??

[celest-i4l]

Hey, Brian was in a star for a bit, he turned out fine.

[drpilchar]

You… have you hit your head?

[celest-i4l]

Nope! Have you?

[drpilchar]

You are… fascinating