So here's the thing @duck-says-oink - Tumblr Blog

HELP IM ADDICTED TO MAKING THESE EDITS I CANT BELIEVE THIS MOMENT WAS IMMORTALIZED ON VIDEO

You look at them, you see the puppeteers do their thing and talk straight into the mic, and yet, you still can’t see anything but the puppets.

taylorswift

I’m thrilled to tell you that my new version of Fearless (Taylor’s Version) is done and will be with you soon. It has 26 songs including 6 never before released songs from the vault. Love Story (Taylor’s Version) will be out tonight. Pre-order now at https://taylor.lnk.to/fearlesstaylorsversion 💛💛

dramioneasks

Top 10 Most “Kudos-ed” (Completed) Fics on AO3 of 2020:

The Auction by LovesBitca8 - E, 41 chapters, Words: 325,702 - In the wake of the Dark Lord’s triumph over Harry Potter, the defeated must learn their new place. Hermione Granger, former Golden Girl, has been captured and reduced to human chattel. Sold to the highest bidder as the top prize at an auction of Order members and sympathizers, she is thrust into the rabid, waiting hands of the Death Eaters. But despite the horrors of Voldemort’s new world, help—and hope—seem to arise from the most unlikely of places. PART 3 of the RIGHTS AND WRONGS series.

Wait and Hope by mightbewriting - M, 12 chapters, Words: 95,131 - “Harry,” Hermione began, voice very controlled, but she could feel the blade of panic slicing at her vocal cords. “Why was Draco Malfoy just screaming bloody murder about his,” and the word almost strangled her as she said it, “wife?” Harry’s green eyes blew wide. Healer Lucas pinched the bridge of her nose, clearly displeased with the recent series of events. “He was referring to you, my dear,” she said. “That was the other question you got wrong. Your name is Hermione Jean Granger-Malfoy.” Hermione had to be sedated again.

Breath Mints / Battle Scars by Onyx_and_Elm - E, 51 chapters, Words: 148,908 - For a moment, she’s almost giddy. Because Draco Malfoy’s been ruined by this war and he’s as out of place as she is and — yes, he has scars too. He’s got an even bigger one. She wonders whether one day they’ll compare sizes.

Cherry Mint by dirtymudblood - M, 27 chapters, Words: 58,081 - “He could smell her. Even multiple train cars away, he could smell her. Except, Draco didn’t know who she was. He ignored his natural instincts to pant like a dog and follow the scent to the omega in the beginning stages of heat. Instead he willed himself to rub his knuckles against the rough wood of the table in front of him.”

Height by senlinyu - E, one-shot, Words: 8,774 - “Tall? That’s what you think I should notice about Malfoy? His height?” Ginny quirked an eyebrow and licked the tip of her quill suggestively. ”Well, isn’t that your thing? Lockhart. Krum. McLaggen. Ron. The only thing they have in common is being tall enough to give me a neck ache.” Hermione felt her ears grow hot, and she gripped her book tighter. “I don’t have a thing for tall men. Their height is—completely coincidental.” Dramione Height Differences Minifest 2020.

Seeker Fit by elithien, senlinyu - T, 2 chapters, Words: 2,647 - “Will the Head Girl grace the pitch with her presence for today’s match?” The timbre of Malfoy’s cool lilting drawl slid down Hermione’s spine. She stared determinedly at the book on her lap. “As I have explained many times now, I despise Quidditch. Sitting in the rain, watching people zoom around on broomsticks, risking their lives for the sake of a game is not even remotely enjoyable. ”There was a pause and she glanced up to be greeted by the sight of Malfoy, dressed in his Quidditch uniform, carefully tightening the laces on his dark leather shin-guards.

fate and plans by elithien, senlinyu - E, one-shot, Words: 5,537 - “Granger—“ Draco yelped her name as she came dangerously close to driving his family jewels up into his lower abdomen. “Be quiet!” Her eyes were inches away from his and flashing dangerously. Her entire body was pressed firmly against Draco’s in a way that could have been incredibly arousing in literally any other circumstance. Unfortunately, Draco was devoutly preoccupied with trying to keep both her knees out from between his thighs.

Remain Nameless by HeyJude19 - E, 51 chapters, Words: 312,315 - How did it feel? It felt like he was barely holding it together. She, of all people, should shun him. Or yell at him. Curse him. Spit at him. Take out her wand and blast him off the face of the earth. It was crushing guilt and relief and confusion all at once when he looked at Hermione Granger. The monotony of Draco’s daily routine had become both a lifeline and a noose. But this new habit of grabbing coffee with Hermione Granger is quickly becoming a reason to get out of bed and is unfortunately forcing him to re-evaluate his inconsequential existence. Hermione is living her life in fragments, separate pieces scattered about, and she can’t find a way to step back and let the full picture form. Why are morning meetings with Draco Malfoy the only thing that make sense anymore?

The Erised Effect by Ada_P_Rix - E, 13 chapters, Words: 88,852 - Hermione and Pansy work in a shop together.Draco, Harry, Theo and Blaise all work together at the Ministry.They all meet up every Friday at the pub to have drinks.Pansy has a new fantasy potion that she likes to call ‘The Erised Effect’ that she’s keen to try out on willing participants …Boys are so easy to manipulate when alcohol is involved ….

The Best of Me by MrsRen - M, 21 chapters, Words: 81,752 - Officially, Hermione Granger was killed in action during the Battle of Hogwarts. Unofficially, Draco Malfoy has never stopped searching for her. Years after the war during a mission in France, his salvation comes in the form of a little blond boy and a familiar half-Kneazle.

- Lisa

adaprix-deactivated20210130

😯😯😯😯

Oh my days!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

How The Erised Effect managed to get itself up there amongst those other amazing fics I will never know 🤯🤯🤯

Thankyou to anyone who left a comment or a kudo or any other type of communication 🥰🥰🥰

animals-are-other-nations

dalmonite

“These are my children.”

“They look nothing li—”

“LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE.”

daysofstorm

for some reason I really like that she’s called Hilda.

roddaprime

This happened on my grandmothers farm when my mom was little,

baby ducks act a lot like baby chickens so in the beginning it wasn’t so bad

the main problem is that baby ducks LOVE water, but baby chickens get very very dead from it,

so you can imagine the mother hens surprise and horror the first time they go by the farm pond and ALL THE BABIES RUN TO THE WATER AND JUMP IN

my grandmother had to come out of the house to investigate all the noise the hen was making

The mother hen was clucking and screeching in distress and running circles around the pond while the duckies were having the time of their lives.

This happened a few more times before Momma hen was like FUCK IT YOU WANNA SWIM SEE WHAT I CARE , and would sit a distance away watching them in the pond.

if the ducks ever abandoned any eggs my grandmother would always put it under that particular hens nest cause from then on she always knew how to deal with her “water loving” delinquent children

gokuma

BEST ADOPTED MUM

advanced-procrastination

“Half my children are fucking idiots but they’re my children and i love them”

latinotiktok

willkill4pudding

Translation: Person behind camera; *knock down one card* “Go.” Other person;“Is your character mentally stable?” Person behind Camera; *Looks at card* “Yes” Other person; *Slaps down all but one card* “IT’S MOMO”

sighinastorm

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS. THERE WERE ONLY A FEW DOZEN NOTES WHEN I SAW IT LAST.

mattmcguigan

an important lesson about making mistakes:

you can still get a cookie

anti-terf-deactivated20170715

How does a robot eat a cookie?

mattmcguigan

I think you misunderstand mailbot’s intentions

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

doc-cochran-deactivated20210609

vo-kopen

Big mood.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

The best part is how you can see he’s trying SO HARD not to laugh here

fullofowls

Tim Curry: I’m escaping to the ONE place that hasn’t been corrupted by capitalism! [shaky breaths while trying not to smile] sssPACE

everythingfox

(via)

collectivefandomstuff

[Family Meeting]

Bruce: I’d like to adress the sudden rise in animosity the villains have shown towards Robin.

Jason, just back from a mission: [leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed] more than usual you mean?

Tim: A lot more.

Dick: Dami has recently decided to forget what the villains are called.

Jason: I- wait what?

Damian: [imperiously] I simply decided that memorising the names of criminals was an ineffective use of my cognitive faculties. Better I recall their behavioural patterns.

Jason: What exactly did you do?

-

Riddler: [appears dramatically in a puff of smoke] Well well, if it isn’t the little bird?

Robin: [coldly] Question man.

Riddler:

Riddler: It’s “the Riddler”

Robin: Who cares?

Riddler: [sputtering]

-

Robin: [drops down from the ceiling to interrupt a meeting between Penguin and his people]

Penguin: Great. It’s the boy annoyance.

Robin: [cordially] Birdman.

Penguin: I beg your pardon?!

Robin: [without inflection] My apologies. I have come to arrest you, Mister Mumble.

Penguin: Out of all the movies you could have insulted me with-

-

Poison Ivy: Oh my, looks like a little birdie has come for a visit.

Harley Quinn: [grinning] Nice of you to drop in tweety

Robin: [nods to Ivy] Daisy. [to Harley] Miss Mime

Ivy: what

Harley: [cracks her knuckles]

-

Robin: [throws a batarang at clayface]

Clayface: great. a mosquito.

Robin: …[with distaste] There is no need for insults, Mudpie.

Clayface: …

-

Robin: [calling in an arrest] Yes, I have apprehended Toto.

Scarecrow: [tied up nearby] Hey!

-

Joker: [Sees Robin swinging down in the middle of a hostage situation] Oh look! it’s the cavalary…’s pet.

Robin: [cordially] Mr Quinzel.

Joker:

Joker: Wh-

Robin: You are Harley’s husband correct?

Joker: [furious] no!

Robin: My apologies then. I shall endeavor to use your proper name… … [frowning] Mrs? You are wearing make-up. Is that it? Mrs Quinzel? I did not mean to assume.

Joker: [frothing at the mouth]

-

[back at the meeting]

Tim: to be fair he only does it when they misname HIM.

Damian: I have a name. It is rude not to use it.

Bruce: Damian. There has been seven attempts on your life this week alone. Stop.

Damian: no

Bruce: [grinds his teeth]

Dick: Actually, what ARE Joker’s preferred pronouns? Has anyone asked?

Jason: [munching down a power bar] It’s Fuckface McKidkiller

bysaestyl

i love being dm. it means i can ask the most innocuous questions totally unprompted to my players like “hey what’s your bard’s swimming speed?” and get this reaction every time