Thoughts

Anywhere. Anytime.

[dyingnightstar]

The years of pain will be replaced by a lifetime of happiness. I won’t even have to fight for it.

[dyingnightstar]

Waiting is gonna be the hardest part.

[dyingnightstar]

People think what they want to, despite the truth

Miss Stacy, Anne with an E

[dyingnightstar]

Where is the light?

[dyingnightstar]

I thought it’ll always be easy to trust your decisions because I trust you. And that means trusting that whatever decision you make, it is for your good, it is for your betterment. I didn’t realize I’d come to a point of finding myself hard to trust the decision you’ve made. I questioned it; doubted it as if I know what’s best for you than you do for yourself. But maybe I don’t. Still, I find it hard to trust the decision that you’ve made. Probably because it involves leaving me and removing me from your life. But now I am realizing that that decision could be something you’ve made for your good and I just got to see it that way so I’ll be at peace knowing you’ve done something good for yourself.

[dyingnightstar]

I miss you when I’m sad

I miss you when I’m happy

I miss you in the middle of a boring yet calm day

How will I take this betrayal?

[dyingnightstar]

How come I still love him and he don’t?

How come my love persisted and his didn’t?

[thoughtkick]

“Imagine being with someone where it’s enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you’re ashamed of … Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine …”

— A.K. mentor

[dyingnightstar]

I thought I know you. You thought you know me. And in between those assumptions are never-ending efforts to know each other.

[dyingnightstar]

‘Di rin nila mapagwari

Dahil sa dulo, mahal ang pinipili

[dyingnightstar]

Sometimes, you’d be so lucky to get it good and going the first time. Most of the time, you just can’t and that’s okay. It’s totally okay to try again until you get it right. Or until you know how to get it right for you.

[dyingnightstar]

Most of the time, I really don’t like to do anything particular, I just wanted to be with him. Movie? Go. Walk? Go. Eat? Go. Errands? Go. Hike? Go. Sleep? Gooo. I find fulfillment in being present with each other even not doing anything. Time spent with him being there with me is enough.

Will I always love like this?

[dyingnightstar]

I remember how much I tried to protect his feelings.

At that time, even when I badly need medical assistance, and knowing he’s just a few blocks away, I didn’t wanna call him thinking he might be shocked and too worried in my whereabouts and come running anxiously. Instead, I walked those few blocks with an injured leg, bleeding, until I reached a place of help. Finding out he’s not at his post and he’s busy working on something, I didn’t call for him. I didn’t wanna bother him especially knowing he might be stressed out on something about work. Instead, I waited for him to get back on his post while I seek remedy for my pain.

Maybe, just maybe, that’s how I’ll always love someone.

[dyingnightstar]

At that time, I know I am soooo in love with him. And as my feelings grow deeper, I also start to feel massive fear. There may be a cause for that fear or there may be none but loving comes in pair and so does pain. I needed him more while he needed me less. And rejection of few attempts hurt more than denial of the truth. So at times I tried to conceal how deeply madly in love I am, hoping it will help him feel.

[dyingnightstar]

If ever I’m directed towards being part of a family, may I belong to a family full of love, support, and respect. A gentle family where shouting is not an option just for you to be heard.

[thoughtkick]

“We often miss opportunity because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

— Thomas A. Edison

[thoughtkick]

“I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.”

— Unknown