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Horror stories, circus art, immigrant stories, and poetry from the deep (as in Mariana Trench deep) - all available in the latest print issue of The Echo.
The Lore of The Fruit Dragons According to Ancient Texts Vol.1
by Weather Riley
The begging
In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. Jk. He made fruit dragons. The fruit dragon eggs were laid in the core of the earth and were set to hatch along with the Jurrasic period, but the Ice Age kapt them underground. Then, they decided they would hatch in the year 1450. However. The Mongols were too scary, so they stayed inside. Then, during the Covid era, the Earth was desolate enough for them to emerge. But since every one stayed inside. Nobody saw them. But I am not only a historian, but a photograpjer. And I captured photographs of these fruit dragons and documented their history, because I am a Covid denier and refused to quarantine. (not lowkirkenuinley).
The Blackberry Dragon
This dragon is the first of the fruit dragons that I came across. This dragon appeared and looked at me while stroking her blackberries and said “Hey everybody, its the Blackberry Dragon! And today I’m here with some berries, let's see we have 1... 2... 4 ripe ones with a few on the way! Heeheheheheeh,”. I was astonished, and decied that I must immerse myself in the world of the fruit dragons.
This dragon is one of the most infamous and well renouned. It was the first to immerge from the earth's core, using its spikes to pirece through the surface. The path that this dragon left behind was then used by the following fruit dragons to immerge as well. This dragon is a pioneer. A trailblazer, even. Much like Malala.
After this dragon boldy stormed the Earth, flapping its mighty wings, with nothing but a few blackberries, it is rumored that this dragon took shelter in gay bars such as the Castle, which is why it developed such a flamboyant accent.
The Blueberry Dragon
While the Blackberry dragon may have captured my intreset, the blueberry dragon stole my heart. Through a mouth full of blueberries, this dragon proclaimed to me, “EEuuuugGhhh, Blueberry Dragon here, and these are myyy blueberries!!” It then proceeded to chuckle unconsolably as though it were an asthmatic grandmother in the popular movie franchise: “Alvin and The Chipmunks”.
This dragon followed shortly after the Blackberry dragon, using its smooth body to slither through the cracks and crevices created by its predecessor. Unlike the others, this dragon has no teeth, which is likely what drew it to blueberries, as they are very mushable.
The Roasted Apple Dragon
#RAD
Ouch! This draogn is hot! The Roasted Apple Dragon (rad) has a deep booming voice that initially intrigued me. I heard it rumbled through the caveds shouting “I’mmmm thee roaasstteddd applleeee dragonnnn.”
The RAD was not originaly a fruit dragon, but a mere normal dragon with no fruit affiliation. However, this all changed one day when the fdragns sfire powears got out out hand and it acidentally set a an apple orchird aflame. “Damn you!” shouted the poor aple faarmer.
At the time, the dargons began to organize a aort of dragson government. Thier juicdal system was intolerant to arson against humans. Subseqwuently, the headd dragon, the Balckberry Dragon, sentenced him to live oiut the rest of it’s years attchetd to one of apples that he had arsoned. Thus it’s state.
The Coconut Dragon
Thid darmgon offput me. It is quite slimly.
This dergan hatcghed fromn insied of this here coconut, using it’s eggtooth like beak to escape the confines. But oh my.This dsraong is so hard to undrsatnand. I cannot relay tghe message that was bestwoed upin me.
The Coconut Dragon’s beak gives it a speech impejiment, hindering it’s ability to speak properly. The birth of gthis drafgon soon sparked the dragons disabklity rights movment.
The Strawberry Lizard
This aint even a dargon.
The Watermelon Dragon
Oh Watermelon Dragon... you never cese to amsze me. This dargon is onece again- unintelligable. It’s speakes as though it is a Yamaha keyboard. Though it’s speech is nit to be compramhenadded, it does not affect it’s charm.
This darong allied with the Coconut Dragon during tghe distality rights movemnt, as it felt it could relate, as after all, they arore both large circulrar fruits. And they have specjh impednents.
Foreshadowing
This is not the full history of the dagrons. The flul soroty is vast and plentittyfyul, and is too great for one volueme. Perhaps there shall be more written.
The fruit dragons plagued the earth throught out the year 2023. Here is the lore. Im the acuient texts.
Disclaimer: Every death on this list is over a century old. This list is meant, in no way, to offend anyone. Obvious trigger warning if you don’t like death or whatever. Some of these deaths are over 2,000 years old, so take everything here with a grain of salt.
History, amirite? It feels like every day you learn of some noble deed done by Gnorlick Schmuckinger in 1304 where he saved 5,000 children from the terminator or something. Well, this isn’t about that. Instead I’m going to be covering 10 of the funniest ways people have died in history. I wanna shout out the Wikipedia page for unusual deaths for making this less of a pain in the butt to make. Without any more gutter-spittin', here’s the list (in no particular order.)
10. King Adolf Fredrick of Sweden (1771) - Hell yeah
Disclaimer: His “real” death is unclear, the death shown is the most popular, but is considered propaganda. This death is awesome though.
King Adolf Fredrick of Sweden was kinda a wuss. He was a loving husband, a good man who was liked by many, but a terrible king. He kinda just sat around and got other people to do stuff, which is lame, but I’d be a hypocrite if I said that.
Anyway, on with the show. It was February 12, 1771, and Freddy was a little hungry. I believe I was present before he died, I believe someone said something like “wow I’m so hungry I could eat a lobster, a bowl of caviar, multiple servings of finely-cut white cabbage, a whole herring, a bucket of 1761 champagne, 14 traditional Swedish custard eclairs and a fairly large bowl of hot milk. To go, please.”
According to the postmortem report, (which I read in disgusting detail all for you, dear reader) Freddy hadn’t even finished digesting his food by the time he dropped dead later that night. According from what little detail we have, it was likely a stroke or heart-related issue that knocked A.F. down. If there’s one way I wanna die, it’s how King Adolf Fredrick of Sweden died.
9. Bela I of Hungary (1063) – Lay off the snacks
Don’t you love food? I know I sure do, an unhealthy amount. Whenever I feel bad about jamming an entire pack of sea salted crackers in my mouth, I think about Bela I of Hungary.
Bela I of Hungary has a very long and complicated history on a Wikipedia page with too many words I can’t pronounce. To put it simply, he only became King because everyone else in his family died or got exiled. His reign was very short, only lasting from 1061 until his death in 1063.
Bela’s nephew Solomon was hella pissed that he got booted off the throne. So pissed, in fact, that he became buddies with the Holy Roman Empire. As Bela sat gouging himself every night, the Romans were wiping their asses with the skin of Turkish soldiers and using their hair as fire starters. For better, or for worse, Bela I of Hungary did not meet this fate. One random night on September 11, 1063, Bela was sitting on his throne struggling to keep down whatever colossal meal he’d just inhaled. He felt an odd movement on his throne, before it collapsed under his own weight. He attempted to make it to town, dying at a creek just outside it. Tell this story to your kids every night so they stop scarfing down food like pigs. (Enjoy the metabolism while it lasts.)
8. Franz Reichelt (1912) – No, you can’t fly.
Mr. Reichelt was a fairly decent man. He was born within the borders of the modern-day Czech Republic. He never married and ran a small business somewhere in the vague area of Vienna. He never did anything interesting up until 1910, when he began the construction of a wingsuit, basically turning a human into an oversized sugar glider. After being offered 10,000 francs for a successful design, (Around 65,000usd today.) he made it to a final design on February 4, 1912.
You can probably imagine how that went. The contraption was a silk parachute cobbled together in a very fashionable backpack. Any sane human repeatedly told him to not pull some dumbass stunt, and to use a dummy instead. Mr. Reichelt basically went “Nah bro I gotta do it for the vine.” They scraped his pancaked corpse off the streets of Paris a while later.
“Fun” fact: His corpse made a 15cm (5.9 inch) deep crater in the pavement, making him, to my knowledge, the largest crater ever made by someone jumping off the Eiffel Tower on February 4, 1912.
7. Louis III of France (882) – -10 Rizz
Teenage boys, am I right? All they do these days is smoke pot, drink alcohol and hit on girls. Meet King Louis III of France, who was pretty attractive for his day. Not only that, for the short time he was king, he was fairly popular. Within only 3 years as king, he fended off Vikings and skirmished with some rando Europeans nearby. The people loved him, but the ladies did not.
August 5th 882, and little Louie was a horny teenager, aged anywhere between 16-19, we aren’t quite sure. Anyway, as Louis was daydreaming about corsets and maidens showing him their ankles, he spotted a bountiful young bellibone prancing her way along the green grasses. Flinging himself out the door in a hurry to pursue this dashing maiden, his cranium got shattered on a doorframe, akin to that of Jake Paul’s jaw. His body dropped with his charisma, and Louis died within the minute. What a dumbass.
6. Li Bai (762) – Drunk people can’t swim
Li Bai (李白) was actually a pretty big deal by 8th century China standards. He lived during a time in the Tang Dynasty denoted as the “Golden Age of Chinese Poetry”. Furthermore, he was proclaimed one of the three wonders of the era – the best in their respective fields at the time. He actually is probably the most impressive person on this list, he’s accomplished a lot in his 60–61-year lifespan. Anyway, point is this guy was livin’ the high life, he had mad aura and was probably filthy rich by now.
I need to be honest with you, dear reader, no-one actually knows how Li Bai died. One day some royalty wanted him to show up in court, but he never did. After some royal guards wasted a bunch of time looking for him, it was discovered that he died sometime during 762 without anyone noticing. One rumor states that “He was brought down by rotted ribs.” – meaning he died of liver failure as a result of alcoholism. The most popular claim is that, due to his references to the moon in his poems, he got drunk on a boat and tried to hug the moon on the water. It’s like that one bit in Harry Potter where Ron falls in love with the moon, but Ron is also a suicidal raging alcoholic.
5. Tiberius Claudius Drusus (~20) – Death tastes juicy and soft
Tiberius C. Drusus was a plucky young lad, destined to become the Emperor of Rome as a son of Emperor Claudius. Recently cucked out of hitting the finest shyt in all of Rome; Aelia Junilla, he was feeling kinda down. Everyone knows that the ultimate solution to solving all of life’s problems is mindlessly eating, and what better in the ol’ 20s than eating a pear.
According to the Roman historian Suetonius, Claudius “died just before he came to manhood, choked by a pear which he had playfully thrown up and caught in his open mouth.” It’s not the funniest, but it's definitely up there.
4. Duke Jing of Jin (581 BC) – Don’t Forget to Flush!
The year is 581bc, the wheel is a revolutionary (literally) invention, China is in the good ol’ Eastern Zhou dynasty and one Chinese Duke Jing of Jin (晉景公) was told by a shaman he wouldn’t live to see the next crop harvest. Ol’ Jinny was kind of having a rough day. He recently had his ass beat in The Great Battle of Bi, and had the blood of Xian Xu all over his front lawn. To save you the detail, he slimed the shaman and had the body minced and dumped somewhere in a ditch.
All sad stories have a scary dream, so Jing of Jin was having some dreams of a scary spirit, which is hypothesized came about from his already fatal disease he’d contracted. For better or for worse, Jing met his fate much faster. You see, Jing was feeling a little icky around lunchtime on the toilet. He strained a little hard, and… well they fished his body out of the latrine pit. Don’t strain kids, you could fall down into the latrine pit and drown in your own shit.
3. Hans Staininger (1567) – For the love of god shave
Every family has that one manchild, digging Cheeto dust out of their neckbeard at 27 years young. This particular man was a bit closer to 59, or just 27, we aren’t entirely sure. Hans was but a humble mayor in the little northern Austrian town of Braunau am Inn, which is a town known for pretty much nothing except for being the place where Adolf Hitler was born around 300 years later.
On a crisp autumn day, possibly September 28, 1567, Stain-y’s house lit on fire under “unknown” circumstances. While trying to escape, he stepped on his abnormally long beard (2m, or 6 and a half feet.) which snapped his neck after tripping over it.
What makes this death especially funny is what happened to the beard in question. You see, instead of Hans’ body cooking like a tasty human filet in his house, somebody fished his beard out. Just his beard. From here, his lightly charred beard passed han(d)s through his lineage for almost 400 years. In 1911 it was donated to the district museum Herzogsburg in South Austria, where you can still go see it today, god forbid.
2. 1518 Dancing Plague victims – Do I need to explain?
1518 was an excellent year for pretty much nothing, who knew. And unlike everyone else on this list, these people are quite literally nobodies. They’re only known because of how they died, how depressing.
See Strasbourg, a little cultural merge of French and German on the far east of modern-day France. On a completely unassuming day sometime on July 14th, one Frau Troffea and her equally strange daughter; Fraulein E. Gotz, began dancing for no particular reason outside their home. Many who walked by fell under whatever had the two young women, slowly amassing a crowd of people who danced unconsolably. Whatever befell these poor dancers caused them to dance until their feet ripped apart and they died of a laundry list of overexertion-related issues.
At its peak in August, there was a mob of 400 people “dancing” in the general area of the original dancers. I say dancing, but I mean moreso, as the original records put it, “spasmatic, with convulsions and bodies drenched in sweat.” This entire time, the afflicted often screamed for help. The mayor tried getting a priest to exorcise the afflicted, but he basically told them to “dance it off.” Some theorize that it could’ve been caused by ergot fungi in rye, which is similar to modern-day LSD, but it’s funnier to imagine that this happened spontaneously.
1. Chrysippus of Soli (206 BC) & Martin of Aragon (1410) – Are figs funny?
If I had a nickel for every time someone in history died of laughing over a joke about an animal eating a fig, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Meet Chrysippus of Soli, a renowned Greek philosopher, mathematician and poet. Born 279 BC, he was known as one of the best stoic philosophers of his time. Without any batting around the bush, here’s how Chris ate death’s doormat.
It was a (presumably) lovely Greek day in the country of Greece. The Greece air was blowing amongst the Greek trees, as poems formed out of every gust of wind that touched Chrysippus. He was enjoying a pretty solid lunch in his estate, with slaves coming to and from his table to bring him wine. In fact, he’d been drinking unhealthy amounts of wine since that morning, and the renowned philosopher was very, very drunk. A stone’s toss down the road, a donkey was gargling on some figs from a bush. For some ungodly reason, the greatest mind of 200s BC Greece found this so, so funny. He told one of his slaves to “give the donkey neat wine to wash the figs down with, and…” he ran out of breath and died of anaphylaxis laughing at his own joke.
Next up we have Martin of Aragon, an Aragonese king living in luxury in his castle. Surprisingly this guy is pretty boring. He skirmished with some surrounding nations, but he was kinda just eating grapes and wearing metaphorical gold sunglasses while he had the chance. Good for him, good for him. Anyway, the majesty wasn’t feeling too good one night. He just sat like a mayonnaise-filled beanbag in his bed, trying to digest the entire goose he’d just eaten. favorite jester walked in, the king asked where they’d been, their reply was: “Out of the next vineyard, where I saw a young deer hanging by his tail from a tree, as if someone had so punished him for stealing figs.” The king found this so funny, laughed so hard that he died from a 2 for 1 combo deal of anaphylaxis and indigestion laughing at the joke.
Aaand that’s all, folks. Thanks for attending this bloody, miserable presentation and I’ll talk again on the podcast sometime. That’s all, go waste your time doing something else.
You thought there was only one type of hoe. Nein. There are millions of hoes beyond the basic stereotypical hoe. And instead of listing them all -because there are definitely a million different types of hoes- which would be a waste of your and more importantly my time, I’m going to rank the top 8 hoes. That way, the next time you go on a diatribe about how your friend is a hoe, you can specify which type so no one is confused, because the English language is weird and has dozens of annoying homophones like their, there, and they’re, which to this day I still use each incorrectly. But I digress. Lets get into the hoes.
1. Minecraft hoe.
In my opinion, this is one of the best hoes in this lineup. You can't get your daily collection of carrots or cocoa beans without this hoe. What if you’re vegetarian, what are you going to eat? Dirt blocks? Because that’s all you’ll have if you don’t have a hoe. Specifically, a gold hoe, because you're going to need to keep that hoe around you forever. Sure, it's the 2nd to worst material in Minecraft, but wouldn't you like to dig with gold rather then with a plain unflashy wooden hoe. Gold digging products are the best quality hoe.
2. The Cool AAVE Ho.
This is the ho that practically everyone uses. It’s the same as saying, What’s up, bro? Or to subtlety call out your friend as a hoe under the pretense of just playing around when in actuality, you mean it and don't know how to tell her.
3. Hoe, the Name.
According to babycenter.com, Hoe reached #14518 in popular baby names in the U.S. It's eccentric, probably created by hippies or celebrities who wanted to name their kid something special like the name apple. Which is the name of Gwyneth Paltrow- the one and only, who sold psychic vampire repellent- daughter or Brother like Darren Criss’s- the guy who played in Glee who likes to unironically shout HUZAH - child.
4. Ho Hos Cakes.
Not to be confused with the superior dish Hoe cakes, Ho Hos are essentially inverted Twinkies with a swirl in the middle. A ho that I wish I hadn’t included because they are genuinely nasty, like their cousin Twinkies and their brother Ding Dongs- which is the actual name of this cake. I’m unfortunately not joking. Which proves even more why hoe cakes are a superior dish.
5. Hoe Cakes.
The most delicious type of ho. Buttery, flaky, golden-brown goodness. It's a superior version of pancakes. If you’ve never had hoe cakes, it is essential to try them from a small mom and pop soul food diner in the South. Your life will be changed forever.
6. HO.
There's some random guy from the British army whose initials are H.O. His name is Hildebrand Oakes and has barely anything on his Wikipedia page other than the fact he was a lieutenant general who served in the American Revolutionary War.
7. Ho Ho Ho.
Santa Claus’s catchphrase and the universal signal that winter holidays are starting. His hos symbolize holiday cheer, so unless you are the Grinch, I expect everyone to be hoeing during the holiday season.
8. Dorothy, a.k.a The Third Ho.
Switch the letters around in her name and you get ho trd= the third hoe. She stole Elphaba’s sister's shoes, tried to move in on her man- the Scarecrow- and had the audacity to enter a random world and kill Elphaba before my Glinda X Elphaba ship could be completed.
She a ho.
Here's an in depth list of all the types of hoes :)
In my opinion, watching anime is the best part of my day. I mean, it's just a fun way to distract yourself from the real world and problems in it. Why concern myself with math homework when I can watch a guy fighting a bunch of demons in order to make his sister human again. (kudos to those who know hehe) Anime is wonderful, with its colorful scenery and invigorating story lines. The characters are also extremely ravishing–I mean interesting. The designs and personalities are nothing short of amazing, not to mention the actual character building and background. Now, people obviously find different characteristics attractive as well as different personalities, so keep in mind this is based on personal bias. Don't take it to heart. Other than that, enjoy the rankings of anime men and women.
#8 Satoru Gojo – Jujutsu Kaisen: Okay in general, I'll be honest with you, he's a little overrated. With his white hair that falls to his gorgeous sea blue eyes, it's no surprise that Gojo is one of the most sought-after anime characters of his time. When I first saw him on screen after he pulled off his blindfold, I remember thinking, "Gosh, that is the most beautiful man I've ever seen." If I ever saw someone like Gojo in real life, I think I might stare and take a picture of him. Anyway, it's not just his looks that make him attractive, it's also his personality. He has an easy-going, "I'm going to do whatever I want" sort of vibe, despite being one of the most powerful sorcerers in the show. He does let the ego get to his head sometimes and will often brag about it. He's not completely wrong though because he is the strongest and it shows when he gets serious. Trust me, he GETS serious...and it's so cool. There are a couple people out there who replay those "serious" moments over and over again, I'm totally not one of them of course. Let's move on, shall we?
#7 Shinobu Kocho – Demonslayer: She’s so prettyyy. Her entire aesthetic is butterflies (my personal favorite), and she’s the one of the Hashira (for those who don't know, basically one of the most powerful characters). She may seem cute and innocent at first, but don’t be fooled, she’s really good at fighting and she can handle herself against powerful demons easily. She wants to save lives and families because she unfortunately wasn't able to save her own. She has a big heart because of that and even took in another girl under her wing (get it...cause she's the Insect Hashira...I'm sorry). Overall, she's pretty, the best fighter all around, and super kind, which is an A+ in my book, earning her a spot in these rankings.
#6 Loid Forger (Codename: Twilight) – Spy x Family: So normally I don't go for blondes, but I make an exception for Loid Forger. His entire aesthetic is one of the best ones I've seen. He’s a spy that's currently undercover because of an ongoing cold war going on between the North and South. He’s “fake married” to Yor (she’s a deadly assassin...honestly just as cool as him, maybe cooler) and has a fake daughter named Anya (she can read minds...also such a sweetheart). This man is husband material because he literally does everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Cooks, cleans, helps Anya with her homework, you name it. Somehow he also has time to do his actual job and he's willing to do anything to make sure the mission goes right. Twilight is levelheaded and smart, maybe too smart. Sometimes he overthinks everything. He comes close to cutting off Yor and leaving Anya for the sake of the mission, but I'm just waiting till he realizes he loves Yor and Anya and wants to stay with them forever. 😛
#5 Rin – Blue Lock: Honestly, everyone in Blue Lock is attractive because it's a buncha guys playing soccer and the animators did really well on their designs. Rin is special though, because he's the one that steals everyone's heart. He’s number one in the entire faciliy. That's against 300 highschoolers and he's already got them beat. (already a plus) He also has unresolved trauma because of his brother, which basically shaped his personality going forward and created his “I must win at all times” brooding attitude. It's okay though, because he backs it up on the field. Rin is THE character that stands in Blue Lock mostly and if it wasn't for Isagi Yochi (the actual main character), everyone would be all over Rin and forget about everyone else in the show.
#4 Sakura – Windbreaker. I feel like this anime isn't as popular compared to the ones I've mentioned so far, but this is one of my favorites. Sakura is so cute. His appearance is one of the more unnatural ones because of his half and half tone; half black hair and half white and one eye that’s gold and the other sliver. In the anime, Sakura was often shunned and bullied because of his apperanece (which is stupid because if I saw him in real life I'd want to be his friend.) So because of that Sakura was used to being alone, but that all changed when he moved to a small town with a school that bascially protected the town from gangs and fights. Sakura made a lot of good friends and whenever they offered to do something nice for him, he'd blush and stutter so much just because he wasn't used to that type of treatment. He'd do anything for his friends and he's just a great character that I love so much.
#3 Kitagawa – My Dress Up Darling: Not only is she one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen, she’s also a little crazy. Like really crazy, but it's more of a good crazy than a bad crazy. She's not embarrassed of being the way she is and she defends her hobbies with a passion. She defends everyone's hobbies and interests a lot. I respect her for that because people have different hobbies that may not be likable to others. Her friend (future boyfriend hehe) was worried that he would be bullied because he sews (he’s really good though I don't why he thinks he would be bullied). She yelled at him and told him to feel good about himself. Totally off topic but at one point, she dressed up as a guy from her favorite show and she looked so fine. Anyway, Kitagawa is definitely one of my favorite characters because she’s confident and not afraid to stand up for herself and others. That's the kind of person I want to be to others, confident and super reliable.
#2 Kaori Miyazono – Your Lie in April: So, this anime pretty much gave everyone depression in April now, so be warned if you're going to watch it. It's a really good anime though, it just gets a little sad at the end. Anyway, the reason why I love Kaori is because of her view on life in general. Much like Kitagawa, she did not care what other people thought of her. She lives for herself and you can tell because she is genuinely happy through the entire anime. The main character of this, Kousei Arima, lost his love for playing the piano and Kaori helps him get that spark back. Together they both play an amazing duet, piano and violin and Kousei starts loving piano again. I love their relationship even though it didn't progress exactly how I would have liked but the ending was amazing.
#1 Sung Jinwoo – Solo Leveling: I've read the entire magna, the books and I've watched the anime like four times, so I might be a little obsessed. This is one of the best things I've ever read and watched because the storyline is so creative and I love Sung Jinwoo so much. I would marry this man without hesitation. Sun Jinwoo was originally the lowest E- Rank hunter to ever exist until a traumatic double dungeon encounter changed everything. He was able to “Level up” and became stronger. He’s smart and honestly intimidating at times (that makes him more hot though.) He continues to level up and grow until all of humankind eventually has to rely on him to save the world but also trust him enough not to destroy it. I love his character development so much and it doesn't hurt that he's totally my type in looks. (Guys, I'm not kidding, this guy is a "hold me back" for me...)
So those are my anime characters ranked. Obviously, there are a LOT more but these are my favorites and I didn't want to scare anyone. I hope you enjoyed reading this and maybeee I've convinced you to watch some of these masterpieces hmmmmm? :D
My favorite anime characters ranked in one list hehehe
There are millions of words in the English dictionary, which unfortunately, I can only ever remember to use a less than a third of it. I love diverse vocabulary more than I’d like to admit, but I can’t help it. Who wouldn’t want to sound studious with vocab like that? I sure do.
I have even begun to keep a word list where I note down any interesting, uncommon word that I read. Here are a few that I’ve written down:
Frittering: wasting time, money, or energy on meaningless things
Asinine: extremely stupid or foolish.
Gripe: a minor complaint.
Pandemonium: wild and noisy disorder or confusion; uproar.
Dejection: a sad and depressed state; low spirits.
Even though some of these terms may be ones you know and even can define on your own, I sure do forget that they exist majority of the time. Instead of using these wonderful words, I tend to opt for the ones that are at the front on my brain, which are much simpler in contrast to said diction. Yes, they get the same point across, but the more complex words would make my words sound much fancier and educated. A way of writing I dream to achieve.
For example, the sentence, “My leg was completely immobile.” versus “I couldn’t move my leg.” Of course the one with the larger vocabulary feels more dramatic, as it should be for a leg that you can’t move. Both get the same point across, but the bigger vocab not only sounds better, but it also brings a tone that the lesser vocabulary sentence lacks. Even words like “gripe,” intrigue me, as saying gripe just sounds much better than saying, I had a thing against—whatever.
So, when someone’s work contains a large selection of vocabulary, I begin to admire not only the writing, but also the author. I wish so dearly to learn the ways in which they use language, how they so effortlessly create such beautiful lines with words that I should have remembered. It’s a mezmorizing sort of magic I unfortunately don’t think I’ll ever have, as my very memory tends to fail me with things like this. But that won’t stop me from jotting terms down in my notebook as if I’ll remember them anyway.
I just love the way these words sound. They make me sound like I actually know what I’m talking about, and everything becomes gracefully fancy. I only wish that one day I'll be able to use such dictation in my own writing like the authors I read from do.
A rant about how vocabulary peaked my interest and why I admire those who use broader diction.
Whispered accusations, hushed chants, and the cries of a witch being burned at the pyre. Liked reading Burn the Witch? You can listen to it now as well!
Ranking Inedible Objects On How Good I Think They Would Taste From Worst To Best
by Aishlyn McCarty
Welcome to the wonderful world of inedible objects! You might have never thought about how certain objects would taste but I’m here to introduce you to this amazing world. Important people like parents, teachers, and doctors have always warned against the consumption of these objects. However, my mission is to open your horizons to this fascinating world that you’ve been prevented from accessing for so long. So, without further ado, buckle up and get ready to be immersed in the fantastic world of eating inedible objects!
The first object that ranks the highest is marbles. Marbles are a wonderful object that possess a rounded shape with a smooth surface. This makes them sound enjoyable to swallow. They also have a colorful, creative design covering their surface which makes them aesthetically pleasing to look at. Overall, marbles sound like they make the eating experience incredibly pleasant. I would highly recommend partaking in the consumption of a marble if you’re looking for something to expand your horizons of objects to eat. Marbles are a perfect choice to fuel this decision.
Second on the list, we have the lead for a mechanical pencil. They are long, thin sticks meant to fuel a mechanical pencil. Their grey, skinny appearance makes me shiver with pleasure thinking about consuming it. Pencil lead is easy to break into smaller pieces that are easier to eat like delicious chips that would make the person eating it feel so happy and at peace. The crunch it provides is like a reminder to the consumer of what they are eating. A perfect piece of happiness. In summary, pencil lead is full of pros for anyone who is lucky enough to consume it.
Number three is computer keyboards. Each key is like a little piece of candy for whoever is fortunate enough to eat one. They provide a fun experience where the person gets to pry the keys off the keyboard before they get to eat it. After the delightful time with the keys, they get to partake in the crunch of the keyboard. The actual keyboard crunches underneath the person’s teeth as they enjoy the time they get with it, reminiscing about the wonderful taste and texture of the keyboard. Keyboards are the perfect object to add to your list of inedible objects to consume soon. You get to look forward to the delicious crunch with the texture underneath as you happily enjoy the wonderful keys.
The next object is a fluffy towel. I say fluffy so that there is a pleasant texture for the person consuming it. A regular towel would be unpleasant to consume with the broken texture being all that you’re forced to consume. Fluffy towels would be a great breakfast item, specifically if they accompanied french toast and eggs. The towel would be fluffy and easy to chew. This as an item for breakfast would be incredibly useful. People who are eating them would be filled up quickly and on only a small amount of food. In conclusion, fluffy towels should be used as a staple food in breakfast meals.
Next is a NeeDoh ice cube. The squishy, enjoyable texture brings incredible pleasure to whoever might choose to consume one. The gel inside would squeeze out into your mouth in a delightful way. It would provide a delicious experience that could be compared to the toppings on fro-yo. Plus, the outside of the cube is squishy and fun to play with. You can enjoy squeezing it even while you’re in the process of eating it! All in all, this object creates a wonderful palate to enjoy. It’s useful in two ways- eating it AND relieving stress. I highly encourage anyone reading this to invest in a NeeDoh so that they can enjoy one for themselves.
Inedible objects are one of the best things that our society has decided to create. Without them, so many simple joys in life would never have been introduced. Please, for your own sake, take the time to find an inedible object, off my list or not, that will satisfy you. I promise that it will be worth it. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you enjoy your object!
There are many different types of inedible objects that can be used as an edible object, which are delightful to use.
