That's me

[achillesinhighheels]

[ecstasyofperception]

a few things to lay out here....

1 being that I am choosing to stay with hope and faith in this life of mine. no matter how easy it may be to despair and give up.

2 being that in choosing hope and faith, i must do the work to be serious about being a hopeful person. meaning going places I don't always go to, entering into rooms that I may feel less confident in but allowing the journey to take me.

3 being that i want to be more serious about all the pursuits in my life. i want to keep the dreams as big as possible but understand how that means that I need to work for it (doin it over saying it!!!)

4 being that i want to be a better person in general to my friends & everyone around me. can i listen better? can i take a moment to think about my responses more? how can i really be there for people i care about?

5 being that i need to trust that gut feeling that comes and tells me about how things are going... because sometimes its that little thing that just tells you, HEY this man is NOT your mans!!!!!! i think this is now so much more important to me - not just in terms of romantic involvements but in general... i need to trust that for who I surrond myself with

6 being that i don't think I can get romantically involved with someone who cares about their aesthetic and material wealth TOO much. like its okay to care about your style and want nice clothes and take care of your body of course... but i need to know that you care more about how our stars may be aligning over whether or not we are swagged out together.

7 being that the story must be sorted out. there is no longer time to just say you are neither here or there. say what you want to be and speak life into it. don't shy away from who you are working towards being. she is there for me... so let me lean on her.

8 being that if i think its true... it will become true. mind over matter even when things are very hard... but of course, don't ignore the reality. bc i really learned now that your body and health will speak to you, LISTEN but that doesn't mean to get too down on yourself. I feel i faced these issues with hope and love but also the reality is still present. so now... as I recover, I want to be able to still put my mind>matter but understand that some things are REAL.

9 being that, there are opportunities all around!!!!! stick with them and run!!!! we have ideas and we are the makers!!!!

10 being that, I think me and my friends are GOLDEN. golden because we are girls that love deeply, that think profoundly, that care immensely. we are natural, we are real, we are HERE on earth NOW. what a blessing and rarity that is in today's world. I am grateful to be ME.

[achillesinhighheels]

[ecstasyofperception]

the essence of me

being bad at skateboarding and doing it anyway

[ecstasyofperception]

time doesnt exist... clocks do #tbt

[natalierso]

O AGENTE SECRETO (THE SECRET AGENT)

dir. Kleber Mendonça Filho

[auxcayes]

loved this movie so much. 10/10

[ihave2010fever]

[xanaxfarts]

Japanese Wisteria (Wisteria floribunda 'Alba')

[ecstasyofperception]

i miss japan

[iamheavymeta-lll]

[ecstasyofperception]

this is how i imagine my prayers

[achillesinhighheels]

[ecstasyofperception]

okay i have a lot to say

not exactly sure where ill begin but my brazil trip this year was a bit different for me and I really love this............

lots of beautiful lessons and things I am carrying with me

as I know my beautiful friend El is also

how blessed i am <3

now

me and stephan are officially gonna try to be friends. i hope it works but who knows

[achillesinhighheels]

[ecstasyofperception]

is there a certain amount of wrong you must face?

[ecstasyofperception]

the feeling of

"this is the beginning of the end"

so quickly for me.

i sweaaaaarrrrrr i always reckon im strong

i need to be the FUCK alone!!!!!!! jeeeezzzzz

[oggeminivenus]

[ecstasyofperception]

let me try to remember this

[ecstasyofperception]

although a part of me believes so wholeheartedly in myself...

then i get to this moment of feeling stuck

like as though I will never ever move from here

as though no inspiration to continue remains as I am crippled by the idea of disappointing myself with what i create

then i remember to chase the creation rather than perfection

isn't it funny that I am hearing "lets just do something for fun"

i think ill go to a concert and be inspired

i know the waves of the earth will hit me and ill feel real again

but right now, in this moment

i cannot run from the creation

its early enough

let me sit in it

self doubt? new found confidence? either way, the scale goes back and forth

i wonder constantly, will i ever be better or will it all depress me infinitely? i want this type of life, i deserve it, but somehow theres moments where I think it all is better as an ending

[achillesinhighheels]