if she is a WILDFIRE ; CONSUMING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN HER PATH , then eve must be the steady flow of a stream. the sense of calm one feels , as they dip their toes into cool , clean water. both powerful in their own right. ( what but water , could carve its way through un - yielding stone ? ) different , and yet the same. both women , both forces of nature ————— the difference , lilith thinks to herself , as she looks across the table at her dinner companion … is that eve has not yet realized this truth. && MAY GOD HELP ADAM , WHEN SHE DOES. head tilts to the side , wicked grin spreading across painted lips as the waiter cowers to her presence … in eve’s too !
❛ oh , but I did. ❜ she chuckles , knowing expression crossing her face. ❛ you should not let any man treat you in such a way. ❜ not even adam , she doesn’t say. ( no matter whose ribs you sprang forth from ; you are your own woman , and he should not control you. )
lilith smiles , as eve raises the glass to her lips. and when she drinks , it feels as though satan’s bride herself is tasting the drink for the first time , in a long time. ❛ honey , there’s no place for practicality here. ————— not when you live forever. when you could ( should ! ) be dining on four course meals , whenever you choose. so I’m glad you’re starving. ❜
SHE LOOKS DELICIOUS , lilith cannot help but think , head turned && slender neck exposed for a glance. if she had been any other ( and perhaps even now , still ) then surely she would have dined upon eve with great satisfaction. hand raises , reaches out , and tucks a strand of dark hair behind the woman’s ear.
❛ I have missed you too , eve. ❜ manicured fingertips trail across her cheek , across the curve of her jaw , before lilith pulls away. ❛ my usual companions are all the same … trust me , honey , you’re much more interesting than all of them put together. ❜ she’s tempting her , too. the way eve looks at her ; it lights a flame in her chest. ❛ but first ! here , try this. ❜ slowly , a hand reaches towards small morsel of their shared appetizer , and lilith plucks a piece within her hands , then raises it to the other’s lips. ❛ it’s nothing like you’ve ever tasted before , trust me. ❜
TRUST ME. she says the same , to those she visits at night. ( when they cannot see that her teeth have turned to fangs , and her nails have turned to claws. when they cannot see the dangerous hunger in her eyes ! ) but eve knows these parts of her. knows them better than most. and lilith hopes that she will trust her still.
❛ oh , the usual. traveling , making new … friends. I spent some time in rome , you know. and the vatican. you can’t imagine the people there ! they’re all beautiful. I’ve never fed so well in my life. ❜ a deep chuckle slips past her lips. and if one looks closely enough , they might see a flash of hunger behind bright eyes ; a glimpse , of what she truly is. ❛ I’ve been seeing a PASTOR , lately. I should introduce you to him. sweet man … and they’re so much fun ! once you get past all that self - righteous holiness , of course. he’d like you … he likes beautiful things , and you certainly are that.
————— but enough about me , honey. I came here to hear about you. I hear my husband has been paying you visits ? he isn’t bothering you , is he ? if he is , just give him a good slap … not too hard , though. ( he tends to like that. ) ❜ before their waiter returns , lilith takes it upon herself to refill eve’s glass. ❛ anyway , what have you been doing ? I was thinking , we should take a trip together … wherever you like , honey. as long as you promise not to tell adam who you’re with. ❜
lilith is a DANGER. the curve of her smile is like a knife - slit crescent moon ; sharp , untouchable , glistening. SUPERNATURAL comes to mind but eve drowns it in the dark intimacies of her mind. lilith is UNNATURAL in each way . eve is hypernatural. WATCH THE SAME RE - RUN OVER, & OVER, & OVER ! GO TO CHURCH , & PRAY, & PRAY, & PRAY ! SIT AT THE TABLE, & EAT, & EAT, & EAT !
the laugh track became a clattering din of noise. prayers became mumbles. the food is a grey mass, spittle and generations of baby teeth lost to whatever it was her tired jaws are clamping on, endlessly. sometimes it could have felt nice to bite something NEW. a waiter. for no reason other than she has been shown that she could. she chooses to simply ignore him, then. the bitterness stored like lemon juice in fang ducts is not sufficient to allow her to BITE DOWN ; merely to wet her own tongue with it. she cannot ever look at a thing without seeing the most desirable , tragic part of it. THAT IS WHAT MAKES HER.
❝ men act how they will. ❞ she sounds small. beside lilith, she is small. she is designed to be small. one little rib jingling next to a BEING CREATED WHOLE . she doesn’t mind ( SHE IS FIERCELY AND FURIOUSLY JEALOUS IN HER HEART OF HEARTS, BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN LUST IF OTHERS HAD JUST LET EVE MOVE ON, JUST LET LILITH DIE AS A COMPARATIVE ) but lilith is forgiven for as long as she wishes to be.
❝ i cannot eat as much as you. i never could. i lack hunger : i’d be happier if i never had to eat again. ❞ it is an odd lie to believe but believe it she tries. eve’s head might have said, i do not want your apples - but sooner rather than later, wasting flesh would groan and that same mouth would feed again. when lilith tucks a strand of hair behind eve’s ear, it feels sweet and warm. eve has been living in a grey and blue world for so long. something silver and gold and red as lust would be a nice escape. BURN AWAY THE TOUCH OF DULLNESS ! EVE WOULD RISK FIRE AND BRIMSTONE TO FEEL SOMETHING EMERGING UNDER THE WEIGHT OF YEARS !
TRUST ME , lilith says. it hits her heart funny, springing off it like a ricochet, the same buzzing feeling one feels after being slapped right on the nose, the exactly feeling of making a little ‘ oh ’ noise after irrevocably forcing oneself to failure. eve gazes to lilith’s extended food, and she lowers her chin, small mouth opening & enveloping. she can taste lilith’s fingers beside her teeth. it is GIDDYING.
eve laughs. for the first time. a mouth full of food is of no consequence to her for that moment - her hand goes to her mouth, and she feels silly and strong, for reasons she cannot pinch the seams of, or see the beginning, end, or rational in. SILLY & STRONG , THEN. ❝ it tastes very good. i like it. would you want some ? ❞ she asks, bravely. there is one shining, best piece that her magpie eye ( SO EASILY AWOKEN FROM SLUMBERING VEILED EYELIDS ) has detected. that is the piece she wants lilith to have. a part of eve knows of her own fickleness ; she has been informed of it enough. it is so hard to stay mad at lilith for anything, for anything at all, when already HERE is so different from THERE ; a tamed land. another part of eve notes that she knows of lilith’s fickleness too, for she has also been told that. THEY are fickle.
& it is TRUE. there is something comfortable about this. ORIGINAL SIN ? ; MEET ORIGINAL SINNER ! connected at last, BALL AND SOCKET JOINT , CO-DEPENDENT BONES. one, a parody of the other. lilith, woman of flesh & sex & four course meals : this is EVE, whose SORROWS shall forever multiply beneath the silver moon - eye of her father. it had been so long since her last rebellion, and it was not in her nature to be able to be good. not in her nature to be able to be anything asked of her at all ; CHILD no more after He disowned her , MOTHER no more after one child dies by the other’s hand , WIFE no more once her love becomes bubbling and seeking and all too much HER OWN.
ROME FRIGHTENS HER CONCEPTUALLY . it makes sense lilith would pluck victims there, like EYES in a box of CHOCOLATES & her red mouth dribbling STRAWBERRY SWEET BLOOD. lionesses might not always be so terrifying if only you were not their prey , even thinks. maybe if you were a lioness too it would even be comforting. she looks at her forearm, staring at the skin. WHERE ARE MY WILDS ? WHAT WAS I ONCE THAT I COULD BE, SAVAGELY ?
❝ he sounds . . . interesting. ❞ eve cannot help but pull a face that spells clearly she dislikes the very sound of him, but would rather not say. I WOULD NOT LIKE HIM ! eve thinks, resolutely. ❝ beautiful ? ❞ she asks afterward, the compliment almost falling to the floor like a cracked egg because of her ANXIETY over polite denial. the rest of the words drift in and out of her ears, even lilith refilling her glass is hardly of note to her.
that muscle in her heart that cried out to be A PART and not APART was cramping and whining, taut sinews pulled silver strained. she drank from her refilled wine glass, and her throat would let no thing escape it, not this rich drink, nor a word. not until seconds had slid past, nervous silence rising from the depths of her lungs. ❝ okay. ❞ she said. voice still small. ❝ yes. yes, if you want. ❞ she goes quiet again. she wants to. she really does.
BUT THE THINGS I WANT HURT PEOPLE ! I LEARNED LONG AGO NOT TO TRUST MYSELF ! I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING BUT THAT SINCE -- IT’S WHY I AM STUPID AS I AM.
stupid enough to say yes. eve, in her little way, knows lilith. and she knows lilith will press her. tersely, maybe even say ; eve, this is about you, tell me what you WANT. she wants to feel pressured, so when there are consequences she might faithlessly blame lilith. not herself, not adam, not anyone. that won’t do, lilith will not accept that, & she knows. so she must commit or not commit. BITE DOWN OR BACK DOWN. ❝ i would like that. ❞
in the spirit of wilderness, she drinks deeply. ❝ he bothers me, and i haven’t slapped him. but i won’t be home for a while ; he’ll find someone else to bother. ❞ it is a HIGH. truth & rebellion & melancholy & rage all in one sentence. the food is nothing. this indulgence is abrasive, and the voice of morality lies at the bottom of a dark pool in her stomach, pale bubbles drifting slowly and more slowly to the surface, and popping emptily, one by one.
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