Edit Your Home

obsessing about music, art and nerdiness. these are my favourite things, my thoughts and lazy poetry. bored most of the time. talk to me.

[pussymargiela]

[atpeaceinthestars]

[glittergroovy]

SAOKO · ROSALÍA

[edityourhome]

3 years

The past 3 years have been a struggle. I think ending every work year with a medical emergency might not be the way to go. I am glad I was able to transform and change myself due to living here, but I wouldn't recommend why I did it. I started shedding weight, running and walking like a mad person. It is actually fascinating what your body can do. Yet, every spring no matter what I felt an anger so boiling, the beauty of nature here wouldn't stand a chance. I had endless discussions with a machine that just couldn't tell me what was so misaligned that it made me run 10ks after a few months.

When I arrived here I was so naive, I had an American mentality and positivity I have since lost and searched for in countless podcasts, thearpy sessions and at points in people. Then the 30s took their toll, they burned away friendships I had since school. They left me heartbroken by broken men more than once. My American bf left for a career he deserved, my German love affair posed more than delivered and then I had to find out why we made up terms like "bread crumbing" for men in their late 30s.

I'm not sure how to make sense of it all - partially because that's just how life is. And then I think about this cousin of my friend. I saw her at every birthday party, at every family event - this beautiful blonde woman. This cousin who not unlike me was just a bystander to everyone else's happiness, and when she couldn't bear it, ended her life. I think about her a lot and how I got to again - be a bystander when I comforted her cousin. It is sometimes perverse how cold and brutal life points out what you can't escape.

Maybe moving is the easier step. Maybe leaving T on read is the easier step. Maybe shedding and transforming in the end is the more brave decision.

[edityourhome]

The story of my ex-friend Anna

Last Christmas I was invited to a big get together. Anna was outplaying me at this children's card game, by just being able to lie to me like she couldn't with any of our friends at the table.

At this point I had already decided to breaking off my friendship with Anna. It had been a year since she had a hysterical crying fit when I told her I was starting to see one of our friends. It had been half a year since it dawned on me that this 29 year old woman was the center of her own world and that my naivitee was not only misplaced, but that I misjudged her completely.

What I thought was trust in me (telling me she was sexually frustrated with her then 10 year long relationship), was really just her leaking that she was a weak person that wasn't able to break a relationship off that she had been betraying in her own apartment for years. She never called it cheating, but "looking left and right", in the beginning even bluring timelines. Me just returning from the best connections I ever made abroad, accepted it and tried to see a deep personal friendship in us where we would tell each other "anything". But Anna doesn't connect or relate, she needed to vent and men to give her attention. When I told her the only 1.90 toxic male close to us was interested in me, she couldn't keep up the facade she perfected - especially when others were around. Now, as I'm actively leaving this friendship, I'd say it was straight up emotional manipulation. She cried, I felt bad and continued to support her through all of her misplaced affairs and thoughts. When she finally called it quits with her, honestly truly boring, boyfriend, I still thought she would work on herself. Maybe finally become a grown up woman that reflected the last 12 years. I believed her when she played sad when talking to me on the couch or when her ex was texting her awful things. In reality, she was already in bed with another random banker guy she met on the apps she used to cheat on her first boyfriend with, from her second phone. In hindsight, it seems all very clear - her telling our friends I was flirting with guys during my relationship with my ex on our vacation trip, when she was actively making out with a Polish guy at a pool party on the same trip - her calling me during work hours because she was feeling so bad due to this guy maybe leaving her just to abandon me as soon as they made vacation plans - these are all stories that underline what kind of a manipulator she is. Yet, it also reveals how succeptible I was to her games. In May I then saw a picture of her and her new guy in her apartment on NYE (when she still was with her ex), and it finally fucking dawned on me how she was playing me, as a fried, the whole time. Fuck Anna. This is over.

In all truth, I have been with men, I've made mistakes, I've been super infatuated, I had said toxic man flirt the shit out of a younger girl in front of me - NOTHING would get me to this kind of male-centered bullshit behavior. Honestly, just right now I'm super addicted to a person I met 2 weeks ago - would I display bs like this ? Not even 10 years ago.

[kendallroybf]

is this anything

[dopeyapples]

darrow of lykos | reaper

[geekynerfherder]

'Eo from Red Rising' by Bastien Lecouffe Deharme.

Cover art for the new deluxe edition of the novel, 'Red Rising', book 1 of the 'Red Rising' saga, written by Pierce Brown, published October 2025.

[cash4bees]

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

[saintfelina]

women in GLAM (Galleries, Libraries, Archives and Museums)

[worrywrite]

As the Ides of March approaches, let us all remember it not as the day Caesar was stabbed a whole bunch, but for what it truly was: the day a group of organized elected representatives killed a sitting unelected dictator.

[eethok]

*opens my heart shaped book of hours to show you my medieval yuri* mi'lady

[leopardheart-deactivated2023022]

it’s amazing the entire dashboard is just old things. shakespeare. arthuriana. gargantua. the epic of gilgamesh. the brothers karamazov. beowulf. wuthering heights. medieval mystics. dracula novel discourse. lawrence of arabia 1962. al pacino. die girlies auf tumblr are thriving and having a ball going about as if media stopped happening post 2010

[leopardheart-deactivated2023022]

preach!

[ohdorotheabrooke]

[headspace-hotel]

Gilgamesh fandom grab your ancient sumerian tablets

[liivn]

medieval heart-shaped prayer book in a medieval painting and in real life

[edityourhome]

Sometimes in 2011 I thought I became a woman.

They say, "Girls feel and boys breath"

and we make them believe.

We answer with sighs and gasps and moans

unheared and not our own

to mimic mankind's eternal ways of he did her and she's okay

freeze statically in his hands to hear

"get it over with" or "I like your big thighs"

when all that's done is playing nice

Shooting up estrogen and snorting head

he only answers unlocked and loaded at best

There is no joy in feeling of age for some and yet

man will always come.

[ether--net]

[vexheart]

[niurd]

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