永遠... の 夏

Where i am free~ My likes, My thoughts, My tears, My loves. All just mine. Simply a gray existence~ Oh and in here, I'll be posting things I like, mostly anime which can be spoilers, and some occasional quotes perhaps. Some occasional rants or thoughts as well. Be warned~Muahaha

[eien-no-natsu]

Arturia!! My king.

[eien-no-natsu]

I guess I am a little sore.

[eien-no-natsu]

I fall back on the wise words of religions. Any. I appreciate all religions. Buddhism, Christianity, Islam and what not.

[eien-no-natsu]

Maybe one day I'll start watching animes again. Now my time is for my family, for her and my future.

[eien-no-natsu]

Will God hear my prayers or leave it unheard as it always goes.

[eien-no-natsu]

I am afraid of it all again. Silly me. My scars run deep don't they.

[eien-no-natsu]

I have a dream again. It's so clear and quite a happy one. I was together, maybe as friends with the girl I used to love. And the girl I love now, she came to me to my homeplace. I wish we were near :)

[eien-no-natsu]

I am so weak. My tears fell again. I am so weak.

[eien-no-natsu]

I hate clearing up my hard disk. I see things that make me tear up. Why can't I heal from this? God. I still miss her so much. I do. I can't forget.

[dtaegui-deactivated20230809]

[eien-no-natsu]

Great song by Ceui!

[eien-no-natsu]

What anime to watch this season... Hmmm. Mediocre a lot. Average, a few. Good ones, rare and hard to evaluate.

[eien-no-natsu]

Someone gave me the World God only Knows in my HD. Took me so long, finally, I am watching it now.

[baobeiii]

如果我们不曾相遇，故事的结局是否还会更加快乐呢？

If we had never met, would our story end up happier?

[eien-no-natsu]

Sometimes, I thought about that. It would have been better if we have met later. I was too young, too fragile, too silly and my words were silly too. How different am I now. I know better, alas, I gave myself only a single chance. Maybe it is meant to be that way.

Maybe it is meant that she will never know who I truly am. I guess in the end, in that few months in university, I hardly got to know her for who she is, and neither did she get to know me for who I am.

I moved on further and further and these days, even though I could still remember those days a year ago, or was it two years ago, it has been so long since I last shed a tear for her. Weird times, tears will well, but I made sure that they never fall. A brief encounter of two souls. Sharing the same interests means nothing much in the end. It was just a one-sided love on my part.

Then, what I realised in the past few months was that I have lots of love to give. Lots of care to share. My needs was rather simple, to find someone good, to love someone, to protect someone, to share my life with someone that I love, and to create dreams together. Make stuffs together, watch movies and look at each other in the eyes. As simple as taking a walk together, making pastries, or just leaning or cuddling up to her. It is so depressing that even when mutual love exists, we are separated by countries, and a different future. I wonder, will I have a chance like this again. To love and to be loved in return. It's a wonderful feeling even for just a short while. My love was not as strong as it felt for hime... but this time round, it's healthier. I know why I like her, unlike with hime, i couldn't explain.

What a life, I have come across, a crush which zaps me in the eye. A strong, obsessive love which inexplicably strikes and hurts, and finally a love which grows gradually from being around each other every day. Even though I feel that we might not be together, it will be just too hard, I will always remember her kind words. When I received her replies, I felt for once, my scars healing up. I felt that I will finally be able to truly move away from hime. Thanks J :)

[eien-no-natsu]

It's a piece of cake.

[yuugurenai]

I think this might… this might be… the happiest time of my life

[lemonsweetie]

Let me tell you a thing, about an amazing man named Patrick Stewart

I went to Comicpalooza this weekend and I was full of nervous energy as I was standing in line to ask Sir Patrick Stewart a question at his panel. I first had to thank him for a speech he had given at amnesty international about domestic violence towards women . I had only seen it a few months ago but I was still dealing with my own personal experience with a similar issue, and I didn’t know what to call it. After seeing Patrick talk so personally about it I finally was able to correctly call it abuse, in my case sexual abuse that was going to quickly turn into physical abuse as well. I didn’t feel guilty or disgusting anymore. I finally didn’t feel responsible for the abuse that was put upon me. I was finally able to start my healing process and to put that part of my life behind me.

After thanking him I asked him “Besides acting, what are you most proud of that you have done in you life (that you are willing to share with us)?”. Sir Patrick told us about how he couldn’t protect his mother from abuse in his household growing up and so in her name works with an organization called Refuge for safe houses for women and children to escape from abusive house holds. Sir Patrick Stewart learned only last year that his father had actually been suffering from PTSD after he returned from the military and was never properly treated. In his father’s name he works with an organization called Combat Stress to help those soldiers who are suffering from PTSD.

They were about to move onto the next question when Sir Patrick looked at me and asked me “My Dear, are you okay?” I said yes, and that I was finally able to move on from that part of my life. He then passionately said that his mother had done nothing to provoke his father and that even if she had, violence was never, ever a choice a man should make. That it is in the power of men to stop violence towards women. The moderator then asked “Do you want a hug?”

Sir Patrick didn’t even hesitate, he smiled, hopped off the stage and came over to embrace me in a hug. Which he held me there for a long while. He told me “You never have to go through that again, you’re safe now.” I couldn’t stop thanking him. His embrace was so warm and genuine. It was two people, two strangers, supporting and giving love. And when we pulled away he looked strait in my eyes, like he was promising that. He told me to take care. And I will.

Sir Patrick Stewart is an absolute roll model for men. He is an amazing man and was so kind and full of heart. I want to let everyone know to please find help if you are in a violent or abusive house hold or relationship. There are organizations and people ready to help. I had countless people after the panel thanking me for sharing the story and asking him those questions. Many said they went through similar things. You are not alone.

X

^ Here is the video of my question to Sir Patrick Stewart

Photos by Eugene Lee, Thank you

[aurieum]