I adore your writing and headcanons, truth be told I check your page every once in a while to see if there’s more. Especially the Strelnikov ones, he’s lacking so much content.
Not very creative with requests but how would they do with something akin to forced cohabitation. Like they were moved site but there was a lack of rooms so they had to share with the reader.
So basically how good are they as roommates?
Instead of them moving sites and being put into your living space, I'm going to have the opposite happen instead: You moved sites and were put into their living space. It's simply because some of their living situations are described a bit more, and also because it'd be easier to write something about their living spaces than it would be to write about an ambiguous living space. I'm also following the canon here that most employees live on-site. It's not super relevant, but in some cases, it may make things a bit clearer.
I tend to give him a lot of grace in writing about what he'd be like because although lot of the SCP writing and Tales make him out to be completely intolerable, I try to combine as many canons as possible when writing, and what that results in is that he is a pragmatic asshole. He had enough morals to kill some guy who kept feeding babies to SCP-682, but he might also be Satan reincarnate, so I try to convey both. However, there is absolutely no way around him being the worst, most insufferable roommate in existence. Firstly, Clef would protest heavily if the Foundation temporarily tried to move someone into his apartment. They do that to people sometimes, but usually not those in authority positions, and especially not those who have a track record of retaliation. If he doesn't shoot you immediately, it will be your problem for a very long time that he does not want you there. He has dates with SCP-173 every Friday night, and he brings D-Class (dangerous criminals) into his penthouse. Also, it's pretty standard throughout the canon that he is up incredibly late and still wakes up at 6am, so whether you're a night person or a morning person, you're going to be struggling because he is intentionally loud just to mess with you. I also highly doubt he respects anything in the fridge that is labeled to be yours. Not that he'd want to eat your food or anything, just to show that he doesn't respect it. The one benefit is that he seems to be reasonably dedicated to keeping his home clean (even if it means bringing in D-class to clean everything once a week). Everything in his house is lavish and expensive with a black and gold color theme, so it'd make sense that he doesn't want his house to look lived-in. Your room is his guest room, and it's just as expensive and lavish as everything else, which can be a little daunting. You are a guest there so you should also keep things clean just on principle, but also because you will be facing the wrath of a seasoned killer if you don't. I'd give it two days before you are begging to stay in a hotel until there is an apartment for you, and a week after that until you decide it is in your best interest to just pay for the hotel yourself.
Kondraki is furious that he's been assigned a roommate. He's a grown man, for 343's sake. Realistically, he kills you the first night. But, they offered an incredibly generous pay bonus for the time being to allow someone to stay in his apartment, so he reluctantly doesn't kill you. That's how you find yourself sleeping in Draven's childhood bedroom, with the same posters on the wall, glow-in-the-dark stars, and an abandoned rabbit enclosure in the corner. You have nowhere to put your stuff, as the dresser is filled with old clothes that never got donated or thrown out. The place feels like you're not supposed to be there, likely because you'd be in a lot of trouble if you moved anything. As for Kondraki as a roommate, he's not as bad as it gets, but that doesn't make him a good roommate. He's at least got a predictable routine. If he didn't drink too much last night, he'll wake up a bit early, make some coffee, and go sit on his porch. He'll go to work, come home, and then depending on how his day is, he might have a drink (or seven, but who's counting). There are times where you get home and he's passed out on the couch. On the mornings after that kind of night, he isn't even awake by the time that you've left for work, and he is generally in a terrible mood. You cannot play any sort of music or make noise or you will have to deal with an aggressive situation (Classical is the only reluctantly accepted genre). Also, the threats to your life are pretty consistent, although you can't tell if he's just saying it to be funny or if he's serious. The one thing I could recommend to get on his good side is cooking enough food for him sometimes. If he's tired or drunk, not having to cook is greatly preferred. If you leave extra food in the fridge, he might take it for lunch. I believe he could potentially be an okay roommate for a short period of time as long as you are reasonably quiet and stay out of his way.
If Gears was opposed to you moving in, you'd never know. You walk into his place, and it's minimalist to the extreme. There are no items without a clear and designated purpose. Although, if there is something there, it's generally a nice version of it. There is no attempt at color coordination, not that there needs to be, but Gears also isn't going to waste time looking for the KitchenAid mixer that best matches his countertops. Everything that has color options ends up being whatever is closest to landlord white, and he chose it to be that way. When you see your room for the first time, it's very clear that the room was empty before you were moved in. Gears had an office and a bedroom still set up, so he wouldn't need an extra space to be full. All the furniture is Foundation-standard furniture. A desk, a chair, and a bed. As for Gears as a roommate, it's a couple days before you even see him for the first time. When you do see him, he looks incredibly tired but still put together. I think that a lot of the people working at the Foundation have slightly different personas for when they are in work vs out of work, but I do think Gears is emotionless all the time, so that can be a really hard part to get used to. He's a good roommate by all normal standards. He cleans up after himself, and he's incredibly quiet. But there's something so eerie about living with someone who is so emotionless. It's something that maybe you could get used to, but it'd be difficult to do so, especially because he travels so much that you don't even see him that much. While he is a good roommate and you could easily live with him for an extended period of time, I think you might be excited to move into your own place at the end of it.
Iceberg is probably the most openly upset about having someone moved into his place without permission, but it's for a good reason. Everyone else I talk about is either of a much higher clearance, or extremely seasoned, and most likely has a larger apartment. His office is going to be overtaken by your presence, and because he does a lot of paperwork on sensitive topics, he is also required to move everything. He argued that you should just go sleep on someone else's couch, but you realize it's because he doesn't have a couch. When you first walk in, the apartment smells like gunpowder. His apartment is also incredibly minimalist, but not in a cleanly-minimalist way like Gears. His TV is propped up on one of those plastic laundry baskets, and he's set up a folding chair in front of it. His dining room table only has one chair. His kitchen has two forks, one dinner knife, and a spoon, which upon further inspection, is a fork with duct tape in between the tines. Although his serving equipment leaves much to be desired, his actual cooking equipment is very nice, and it's clear from looking in the fridge that he actually enjoys cooking. When you first meet him, he comes into the apartment with some weird purple explosive marks all over his white coat, and he immediately starts ranting to you about your presence. When you finally say that you aren't excited about overtaking his space either, he finally calms down a little bit and introduces himself. Beyond that, he's not silent, but he's not the most talkative either. He cooks for himself, he plays video games, he does paperwork, and that's pretty much it. He seems like he would enjoy playing a competitive video game with someone. Mario Kart or something of that nature. As long as you aren't disrupting his normal schedule, you'll both be okay. When you finally move out, you should consider gifting him a real spoon as a thank-you gift. If you ever did play video games or board games together, he might invite you over again to play sometime.
Firstly, Glass has questions for the Foundation about this decision. You living with him will bar any future sessions together from happening, do they know this? When you first walk in, Glass is there to meet you. In fact, he's the only one who would be there to meet you. He gives you a tour of the place and tells you which rooms not to go into. However, when you look at the doors, you'll realize he installed locks on the outside to prevent you from entering those rooms. It's not because he doesn't trust you, it's because he's done therapy with Kondraki and Clef and realizes that letting a Foundation agent have access to his office with personal information or worse, his bedroom, is an absolute no-go. The living room is simplistic but decorated, with most of the apartment being a light-green or tan. He went ahead and bought you things you might need like toiletries and left them in your room. As a roommate, he's incredibly respectful of you and your space. If he is in the public space, he is either cooking, doing his dishes (which he does immediately after cooking even when alone) or reading on the couch. However, you are probably moved out pretty quickly because Glass is struggling intensely. Glass is under an extreme pressure to help some of the most deeply disturbed, amoral people on the planet. He comes home to have a time to process all of that, but feels unable to with a roommate. So, while Glass is the most responsible roommate you'll have, it won't last very long.
It's terrifying to get assigned to room with your Site Director for an undisclosed period of time, but she's incredibly welcoming. When she walks in the door after her shift, she immediately begins talking to you about it. She'll talk to you every time she sees you and she's very nice. She's almost normal enough that you forget the nature of the place you work at. Her apartment is furnished in a comfy way, and it's clear that she put effort into picking out the furniture she has. The one downside is that she sometimes (a lot of the times) has people over late at night, and you don't get any warning for who is coming over. Sometimes it's a small get-together with friends, sometimes it's a full-blown party, and sometimes it's a one-night-stand. None of the situations are particularly bad, and she's such a fun roommate otherwise, but it can be jarring to walk to the kitchen at night for a glass of water and see your direct supervisor there in nothing but a robe. Or worse, an SCP. Overall, I'd say living with Rights can be fun as long as you're easy-going and comfortable with people coming over without much notice, because she is one of the few that isn't hateful towards your existence.
Strelkinov is confused as to why he got assigned a roommate, and once you walk into his place, you'll immediately see why. Somehow, he inexplicably changed all of the Foundation-issued appliances to worse versions of the same thing? The light cover on the ceiling has been removed; there are just bare lightbulbs. The couch was replaced with an older, more uncomfortable one. The only decoration is what looks like a carpet hung behind the couch. Your room has only a bed with a heavy wool blanket. No dresser, no desk, nothing else. You're pretty sure he's from Moscow, and based on what you've heard in passing, it sounds like his family owned multiple houses. He's incredibly well-read and philosophical in Russian, which further proves the point in your mind that he lived a life that was at least stable growing up. Because of that, it's beyond you why he would prefer a living situation so devoid of small comforts, as there's no way he does it just because it "reminds him of home" or anything like what some other agents say about their own living situations. As a roommate, Strelnikov is actually very courteous. He makes extra food for you, he tells stories, he shares his alcohol. He frequently mumbles to himself entirely in Russian, so if you don't understand what he's saying, that is likely why. Overall, he as a roommate seems fine, but maybe someone else should decorate or check in as to why he chose to decorate like that in the first place.
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