things I want aspiring ethical feedists to know
because I’m tired of getting secondhand embarrassment from some of the clueless people in our community (most of which I’m guessing haven’t directly interacted with a fat person in their peer group outside of a kinky context) AND I’m trying to address some of the talking points @/anti-fat-fetishism has touched on:
“feederism” is an outdated term due to its feeder-oriented connotations, many of us have switched to using “feedism” instead
if your url is something very obviously feedist (e.g. “fatten-me-fuck-me” or “creamstuffedbelly”), or your icon/header is related to feedism, then non-feedist fat positivity/liberationist/activist bloggers probably won’t appreciate you following them
it is extremely inappropriate to try and “sneak” your kink into an everyday situation/conversation with a fat person. the general rule of thumb is this: if something a fat person says/does turns you on due to being subtly feedism related, don’t deliberately try to coerce them into saying/doing that thing. the same principle goes for posting/reblogging creep shots of fat people (seriously, there are quite literally thousands of people on tumblr who would willingly do this with/for you)
feedism as a kink is slightly different from feedist culture–feedism could technically be enacted by two skinny people, neither of which have any intention of gaining weight. whereas feedist culture is generally an amalgamation of “classical” feedism (stuffing), WG (weight gain)/gainer kink, feedee-feeder roleplaying, and showering fat bodies with the love & appreciation they deserve
eating a lot doesn’t mean you will get fat (there are plenty of thin aspiring gainers who have trouble putting on weight)
eathing “healthy” and working out doesn’t mean you will lose weight (source: my friend who is also fat has worked out for 2+ hours every day and only eaten natural, non-processed sugar over the past 5 years and all it’s done is made her feel stronger)
yes, most if not all of us have been to the gym before, whether or not we “look like it”
while soft feedism is often considered the “safest” subset of feedism to practice, it can be infantilizing if taken too far (this also applies to completely sfw fat positivity–not all of us want to be told we look “cute and huggable”)
death feedism (and other especially taboo/hardcore subsets of feedism) is based on several VERY inaccurate stereotypes about how being fat works, therefore the fat feedists who engage with/practice it not only need to look after their own mental health, but need to be as careful and thorough as possible when it comes to properly tagging DF content
when it comes to creating feedist content for a sfw non-feedism-centric fandom, tagging things properly is extremely important–one of the best solutions I’ve seen is people coming up with alternate tags altogether (e.g. “stuffedronpa” for d*ng*nronpa, “stardew fatties/fatty” for “stardew v*ll*y)
while some people find the thought of being scolded and fat-shamed by a medical professional “hot” and “irresistibly sexy”, many of us are actually *terrified* of having our health concerns dismissed by a doctor (especially if the only thing they tell us is “lose weight/work out more/eat less” when we came in for a runny nose or broken arm). medical anti-fat bias is a real problem and not every fat feedist is into that kind of roleplay, please respect those of us who aren’t
“obesity” is a heavily medicalized term (without it, there would be no basis for medical anti-fat RP or death feedism) and as a direct result, many of us don’t want to be called “obese.” please make an effort to double check that someone is okay with being called “obese”, “piggy”, “cow”, “whale”, etc. before you actually call them any of those.
TL,DR: I promise you that if we all do our part to learn more about the fat liberation movement and remember that kink doesn’t exist in a social vacuum, we can make this community safer for the fat people (especially fat sex workers) in it.
