Spread My Wings

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[euphoricdr3ams]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :welcome to my blog: :; she/her, 31, black woman writer,

→ currently mentally fixated on BTS, stray kids, so that is the content of this blog, MINORS and AGELESS blogs do not interact.

In Progress: Untitled (14/16)

Stray Kids

BTS

BlackPink

do not copy, happy reading !

[hnsbxby]

— ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴛ ʜɪꜱ ɴᴇᴄᴋʟᴀᴄᴇ ᴅᴀɴɢʟɪɴɢ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋꜱ ʏᴏᴜ … 18+

The sound of skin against skin echoed against the walls along with your moans mixed with Hyunjins grunts.

Your shirt was bunched up above your chest, his hands groping your tits while his other rested on the bed next to you. Eye’s half shut as he looked down at you.

“Feel so good,” He moaned. Feeling you clench around him at the praise.

Your hands gripped the sheets, toes curling as he hit that spot in you repeatedly- and the visual above you.

Sweat painting his face, mixing with his hair and causing a few strands to stick to his face. Eye’s half shut. Hair slightly messed from his fallen and forgotten hat. Lips kissed swollen- and his STAY lock-key necklace dangling from around his neck.

You hooked your finger around the jewelry, lifting your arm with effort as the pleasure shooting through your body made you weak.

Hyunjin didn’t notice until he felt the pressure on the back of his neck, glancing down and seeing you pulling gently at the necklace.

He grinned, shifting. “What? You want a kiss?” He cooed teasingly with a smirk, setting down onto his forearms. Chest pressing against yours. “Hm?”

You didn’t reply, simply reached up and kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his hips, pulling him closer. Cold of his necklace resting against your neck.

He groaned into the kiss, hips faltering before speeding up.

“You’re insatiable.” He grinned into the kiss, pulling away to catch his breath before his lips were on yours again.

— hnsbxby tumblr ©

@hyunjinswife4ever @kloversung @lostinmymind-daydreaming @stryscribbles @certainstarfishmiracle @hyvnesangel

[rhaemonds]

stray kids + hop solos

[euphoricdr3ams]

Untitled (14/16)

Y/N feels like she’s losing everyone at once. Her father barely sees her, Faith feels distant, her grief still follows her everywhere, and now Felix—the person who somehow always understood her without trying—is getting on a plane to the other side of the world. What starts as one final attempt to give him a goodbye gift quickly turns into emotional chaos, airport breakdowns, old memories, and the terrifying realization that some people become impossible to imagine your life without.

genres: written, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst,unrequited love, senior year (highschool), felix and Y/N are aged up to 17, pre-debut

Trigger Warning: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Protected Sex, Cursing, Underaged Drinking, mentions of weed

Word count: 8,228

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

Ding. 

Fuck it’s 7:30AM

Michelle: don’t forget we have our group meeting today

You took a deep breath, trying to see if it would calm down the raging headache splitting behind your eyes. It didn’t. You hadn’t really slept. Not enough for it to count. You just stayed up all night gaming with Felix, running co-op missions and fighting bosses like pretending artifact stats mattered could somehow stop morning from coming. He should’ve been sleeping too, but neither of you said that. Neither of you wanted to be the first person to admit what today actually meant.

Because Felix was leaving.

Actually leaving.

 In a few hours, he’d be on a plane, and whatever existed between you would have to survive distance, silence, and life moving forward without asking permission.

Morning came anyway. It always did.

From the kitchen, your little brother’s voice carried loudly through the apartment walls.

“Dad, I think I’m gonna give my Valentine’s Day card to Christina. She is my wife.”

Your 8-year-old brother was talking, but it felt like he was yelling directly into your skull.

“Aww that’s so cute. I’m sure you’ll have a blossoming relationship and I will support you no matter what.”

Your father’s voice followed, warm and easy.

Your chest tightened.

This is B.S..Where’s my support?

He had never said anything like that to you. Funny how love always sounded so simple when it was for someone else. When it was you, everything came with conditions. Be quieter. Be easier. Need less.

Ding.

The group project chat goes off again.

Whitney: are you coming @ Y/N? you flaked last meeting….

The notification made your jaw clench so hard it hurt. Not because of Whitney. Not really. Just because one more person needing something from you felt like enough to make you scream.

Knock. Knock.

“Hey sweetie, it’s mom. It’s time to get ready for school. Let’s get moving pleaseee….. Working adults have important things to get to…”

Blair. My mom is dead. You know this. You are just his replacement wife.

Passive aggressive before 8 AM. Impressive.

“I know, Blair. I’m getting ready now,” you called back, your voice already irritated.

Everyone always wanted something.

Your professor wanted attendance. Your group wanted replies. Blair wanted you downstairs, dressed, functioning like a normal person. Your brother wanted someone to care about Valentine’s Day like the world wasn’t quietly ending in a few hours.

And Felix was leaving.

And somehow everyone expected you to keep moving like your chest didn’t feel caved in. Like grief wasn’t sitting at the breakfast table with you. Like losing your mom hadn’t already hollowed something out inside you. Like Hana leaving. Like Faith pulling away. She hadn’t talked to you since Mike’s party. Like Felix becoming another person you were about to miss.

Everyone treated you like you were strong.

But strength was just what people called you when they planned on leaving you to deal with everything alone.

You wanted silence so badly it felt violent. Wanted everyone to stop talking. Stop asking. Stop needing.

Just for one second.

Your eyes burned as you looked at your phone screen—the screensaver from that party two weeks ago. You and Felix smiling like life was easy. Like he wasn’t about to leave. Like you weren’t already grieving someone who was still standing right in front of you.

Your throat tightened.

Fuck.

I don’t know how I am supposed to do this.

Ding.

Lix: hey did you get some rest ? even if it was only for an hr

Of course.

Felix had some kind of emotional radar built specifically for you. He always showed up when you were at your worst, like he could feel it from miles away.

You tried to smile, but it broke apart the second your eyes lifted to the lotus flower painting on your wall.

Your mom.

That painting had taken weeks. Every brushstroke felt like trying to hold onto grief without letting it swallow you whole. It grounded you. Centered you. Proof that even ugly feelings could become something beautiful if you sat with them long enough.

And suddenly—

Fuck.

You didn’t want him to leave without a piece of you

Y/N stared at the painting for a second too long, like if she looked at it hard enough, it might anchor her. Her hands were already moving before her brain fully caught up.

Fuck, I don’t want him to go without a piece of me.

You carefully—but frantically—slipped the lotus flower painting into a portfolio. Your movements weren’t calm; they were precise in that desperate way people get when they’re trying not to fall apart. Like if you just moved fast enough, you wouldn’t have to sit with what was happening.

Ding.

Lix: 9:30 ish. My grandma and grandpa are over right now. We’re having breakfast.

Your chest tightened immediately.

Shit. There’s still time.

But even as you thought it, your body didn’t feel like it belonged to time anymore. Everything felt too loud. The ticking clock in the corner of your room. The group chat still buzzing. Blair still yelling from somewhere in the apartment. Your little brother was laughing like nothing in the world was changing.

Like your entire life wasn’t quietly cracking open.

The overstimulation made you feel like your skin didn’t fit right anymore. You could feel every second passing like pressure against her ribs.

Chemistry Group A: yea, I’ll try my best but im kinda under the weather.

Your thumbs shook slightly as you hit send. Not because of guilt—you didn’t even have space for that right now. 

You wiped your face quickly, angry at herself for crying this much, and threw on jeans and a baggy shirt. Your movements were rushed now. Every sound in the house felt sharp. Footsteps. Cabinets closing. Voices bleeding through walls. It all made her want to scream.

You walked slowly down the hallway toward your father’s office, each step heavier than it should have been.

Fuck, I hate asking him for shit.

But there was no other way. There wasn’t enough time for the bus, and You couldn’t let Felix leave like this. Not without seeing him. Not without giving him something that mattered.

You stood in the doorway.

“Hey Dad.”

“Hey sweetie, what’s going on? You need something?” he asked, turning from his desk with that practiced warmth he always gave in passing. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead quickly before checking his watch again. “I have to go soon. Big client today.”

Even that made something in her chest sink. Every conversation with him felt like trying to catch someone already halfway out the door.

“Yeah, um… this would be quick, but can you drop me off at Felix’s house? He forgot something and I really wanna get it to him. He’s leaving today.”

The words came out too fast, like if you said them quickly enough, maybe he wouldn’t say no.

“Shouldn’t he be back by the weekend……”

Your throat tightened immediately.

“Dad, he’s going too…” Your voice cracked before she could stop it. “He’s pursuing music in Korea…”

Saying it out loud made it worse. It made it real in a way your brain had been avoiding for weeks. Months. 

From the other room, Blair’s voice cut through the air.

“Y/N! She has to figure out her own way to school!”

Her father sighed. The kind of sigh that already had an answer in it.

“Sorry, sweetie. I can’t. Your mother is driving me in today and we need to actually get going. You should put it in the mail. Take the money on the dresser and do it.”

Your hands curled at your sides.

“Dad, I really want to give it to him in person…”

“Well, that’s my solution. You don’t want it, then fine. Figure it out on your own. I have to go.”

You were crying now, quietly, the kind of crying that felt humiliating because it wasn’t dramatic enough for anyone to notice and not small enough to hide.

“And practically speaking,” he added, barely looking at you, “where is he going to put one of your little doodles?”

That one hurt.

Because it reminded you exactly where your feelings ranked in his life.

The door closed.

A few moments later, you heard the other door shut too. Blair. Everyone leaving. Everyone moving. Everyone expecting you to just adjust around it.

You stood there in the silence, gripping the portfolio so tightly your fingers hurt.

Everyone always called you strong.

But strength was just what people called you when they planned on leaving you to deal with everything alone.

Your mom was gone.

Faith felt far away.

Hana had her own life.

And now Felix.

Another person becoming something you had to miss.

Your father would probably send his executive assistant to your graduation one day and call it support. That thought made you laugh bitterly through the tears.

You looked down at the clock.

8:00.

Fuck.

Your last option.

You grabbed your phone and called Hana.

The phone rang once. Twice. Three times.

Each second made your chest feel tighter.

If she didn’t answer, you were going to lose your mind.

Finally

“Hey, what’s going on? It’s so early, you don’t normally do this.”

Hana’s voice came through soft, but already concerned. She sounded like someone bracing for impact, which honestly made sense. You had called her crying almost every day for the past week. If it wasn’t Felix, it was your father. If it wasn’t your father, it was Faith. If it wasn’t Faith, it was just the crushing weight of trying to be okay when you very clearly were not.

Every support beam in your life felt like it was rotting at once..

You opened your mouth, but your throat closed first. The tears came back immediately, hot and embarrassing.

“I need you to send me an Uber to Felix’s house. Now.”

The words barely made it out between shaky breaths.

There was a pause.

Not long. Just enough for her to understand exactly what kind of call this was.

“Y/N… are you sure? He’s—”

“Hana, please….” Your voice cracked so hard it barely sounded like yours. “Please... I asked Dad and of course he said no. It was stupid to think he’d choose me over that bitch—he’s been choosing her since Mom was still in that hospital bed… I just—I need to give him this and see him one last time. I don’t care if it’s only for ten minutes. I just… I can’t let him leave like this.”

Silence.

The kind that made you feel twelve years old again. Small. Waiting. Hoping someone would choose you.

You wiped your face angrily, pacing your room with the portfolio still clutched to your chest like if you let go of it, you’d fall apart too.

When Hana finally spoke, her voice was quieter.

“Be ready in two minutes. They confirmed quickly for one.”

Your knees nearly gave out from relief.

“Thank you so much.”

“Please call me later,” she said. “That’s all I ask, okay?”

You nodded before realizing she couldn’t see you.

“Okay.”

You hung up and stared at your phone screen as the driver details popped up.

Two minutes.

Your heart was beating so hard it made your whole body feel restless. You grabbed your keys, the painting, and nothing else.

No makeup. No second thought. No pretending this was normal.

Just urgency.

You stepped outside into the swampy humid air, and it hit you all at once.

This was really happening.

The sun was out like the world had the nerve to keep being beautiful anyway. People were walking dogs. Someone was carrying coffee. Cars moved like this was just another Tuesday and not the day your chest felt like it was splitting open.

It made you irrationally angry. How dare life keep going. The Uber pulled up too slowly. You got in, holding the portfolio carefully on your lap like it was fragile enough to break, because somehow it felt like it was. Like this stupid painting had become all the things you didn’t know how to say.

Stay.

Don’t forget me.

Please don’t become another person I have to miss.

You stared out the window as the city blurred past, your knee bouncing uncontrollably.

What if he already left?

What if you were too late?

What if you got there and everything felt stupid and dramatic and embarrassing and he didn’t understand why this mattered so much?

What if he did?

That one scared you more.

Because if Felix looked at you the way you secretly wanted him to, then this wouldn’t just be goodbye.

It would be loss.

Real loss.

And you weren’t sure how many more of those you could survive.

_____________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe you’re actually letting the boy leave, Lina…” Felix’s grandmother gasped.

“It’s going to be hard, but I believe in him,” Lina, Felix’s Mom said, backing Felix up like she always did.

Felix’s food was just being pushed around the plate, his pancakes cut up and dismantled in a way where no one could notice he had barely taken a bite of the breakfast his sister had made for him.

“Felix, don’t be rude. Answer your grandmother,” his father said, snapping him back into the present moment.

“Huh? Sorry. I zoned out. I’m just really tired.”

Olivia appeared beside him holding another small bottle of juice.

“Yes, I’ll open that for you.” Felix patted her hair gently while twisting the cap open for her. He was trying to ground himself in the present moment however he could in this crazy, rapidly changing world.

“You’re gonna get up there and focus, right? No running after girls. And you’re going to call your aunt at the first sign of anything funny, right?” Felix’s grandfather said, looking him straight in the eye.

“Yes. I will. I won’t fail. This is the most important thing—not only for me, but for us.”

“But if things aren’t working out, it’s okay. You always have a home here,” his dad added, rubbing his back.

“Yes, Dad. Trust me, he knows that,” Rachel jumped in gently. “But I believe in him too. Let’s not put too much pressure on him right now. Let’s just enjoy breakfast. Tomorrow will come when tomorrow comes.”

From the corner of her eye, she noticed Felix had mentally checked out of the conversation almost thirty minutes ago.

Felix felt like his emotions were going to explode sitting at the table. There was only so long he could listen to everyone’s thousand different ways this gamble could either work out or completely fall apart. Too many thoughts were running through his head. Too many people talking at once. Every few minutes he found himself zoning out into his coffee or cold eggs, silently begging for some kind of relief from it all.

Ding.

Rachel quickly stood from the tense breakfast table and walked toward the front door.

When she opened it, Y/N was standing there clutching a portfolio against her chest like it was the only thing keeping her together. Her cheeks were puffed slightly from nervous breathing, eyes glossy like she had spent the entire walk over trying not to cry.

Y/N took a small breath.

“Hey, Rachel… um, I know this is sudden, but I really just…”

“It’s okay,” Rachel said gently, stepping aside. “Just come in.”

You walked carefully into the kitchen, suddenly aware of how loud everything felt—the clinking forks, the quiet conversations, the weight of too many eyes turning toward you at once.

“Yes, he’s pursuing his dream, and I’m so proud of him,” Felix’s mom was saying warmly as she stood from the table. “He’s going to succeed. I just know it.” Her face immediately softened when she noticed you. “Ohhh, sweetheart, Y/N’s here.” She opened her arms. “Come say goodbye properly and give me a hug.”

Felix finally snapped out of whatever spiral he had been stuck in and looked up. His eyes immediately landed on the portfolio in your hands. Slowly, he stood from his chair.

“Sorry for intruding like this,” you said quietly. “I just… really wanted to give him this before he left.”

Your fingers slipped into the portfolio carefully before pulling out the painting of the lotus flower.

For a second, the room went quiet.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Felix’s mom breathed. “This is beautiful.”

You really do have talent,” his dad added, leaning forward to get a better look. “You know, every time I see your work, I get a little more offended that you're not going into art school.”

The room let out a small chuckle at the joke, but Felix barely heard any of it.

The entire time, he was staring at you instead—searching your expression like he was trying to figure out if you were actually okay with this.

You forced yourself to smile back at him, trying your best to silently say: I’m okay. I want you to have it.

“Well?” Olivia suddenly blurted out, bouncing excitedly in her chair. “Don’t just stand there. Take it!”

That finally broke Felix out of his trance. He stepped forward carefully and accepted the painting from your hands like it was something fragile enough to break.

“Are you coming to the airport with us?” Olivia asked immediately.

“Oh—I wasn’t trying to impose,” you said quickly. “You know, it’s family stuff and—”

“You’re coming.”

Felix said it casually, but there was enough firmness underneath it that everyone at the table noticed.

“Rachel can drive me, you, and Olivia. Dad can drive Mom and Grandma and Grandpa.” He glanced toward Rachel. “That works, right?”

Rachel took a slow breath.

She could feel the tension between you and Felix from across the room, and deep down, she already knew their relationship had gotten far more complicated than either of you were willing to admit out loud.

“Yeah, no worries,” she said finally. “I’ll drop you off at school after.” She pointed toward Y/N as she started walking toward the hallway. “But we should probably leave soon because this one still has to give her little boyfriend his Valentine’s gift.”

“Is it that same boy?” Olivia nodded. 

“Yes, He’s the love of my life and today I’m gonna tell him how i feel. Its gonna be soooo romantic. He’s going to make all my dreams come true.” 

Felix groaned immediately while Olivia burst into laughter.

Rachel only smirked as she disappeared toward the bathroom.

“Five minutes,” she called out. “Then the first car’s leaving.”Felix briefly escaped into his room to grab the necklace he had gotten for you. It was a silver G-clef note lined with tiny rhinestones. He had been genuinely annoyed it hadn’t arrived sooner and was already planning to ask Rachel to mail it to you later.

But somehow, you showing up changed that.

Funny how things worked out sometimes.

“Y/N, come here for a second,” Felix called softly from his room.

You glanced toward Rachel before making your way down the hallway. The second you stepped inside, Felix quietly shut the door behind you. The sounds of his family talking downstairs became muffled instantly.

“I got you this,” he said, suddenly looking a little nervous as he handed over the small box. “Figured you’d need something to remember me by once you are featured curator at the Art Gallery of New South Wales.”

You laughed softly through the emotion already building in your chest before opening the box. Inside sat the necklace—the delicate music note catching the light immediately.

Your expression softened.

“Felix…” your voice cracked slightly at the end of his name. “This is so nice.”

His face relaxed the second he saw your reaction. “You like it?”

“Of course I like it.”

You looked back down at the necklace again, fingertips brushing carefully over the rhinestones. The gesture felt painfully him. Thoughtful in a way that never asked for credit.

A tear slipped loose before you could stop it.

Felix reached forward instinctively, wiping it away gently with his thumb before leaning down to kiss you. The kiss was soft at first, almost hesitant, but it deepened the second you melted into him.

“I’m really happy you came,” Felix admitted quietly once he pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “I was seriously losing my mind out there.”

You let out a watery laugh. “Me too.” Your fingers intertwined with his automatically. “Honestly… this was worth everything that happened before.”

For a moment neither of you said anything. You just stood there holding onto each other while time kept moving anyway.

“You sure you want me to come?” you asked softly after a while, even though part of you already knew the answer.

“Yes,” Felix answered immediately. There wasn’t even hesitation in it. “I know we’re running out of time, but…” He looked down briefly before opening the necklace box again and carefully taking the chain out. “I just want more of it.”

Your chest tightened painfully.

Felix stepped behind you and gently moved your hair over your shoulder before fastening the necklace around your neck. His fingers lingered there for a second longer than necessary.

“So even when I’m gone,” he said quietly, “you still have a little piece of me with you.”

That did it.

You turned around immediately and kissed him harder this time, emotion finally spilling over into something neither of you could pretend was casual anymore. His hands found your waist instantly, pulling you closer like he was afraid to waste even another second.

What felt like hours passed before Rachel’s voice suddenly echoed from the door.

“The car is ready.”

Felix groaned against your shoulder while you burst into embarrassed laughter, both of you reluctantly pulling apart.

_________________________________________________________________

Everyone helped load the car. Truthfully, his parents were the only ones accompanying him to Korea to help him settle in for the first few days before flying back home. Olivia and Rachel still had school, so they couldn’t come.

Felix let out a quiet sigh as he leaned over to make sure Olivia’s seatbelt was strapped in properly. One of the last times, he realized. One of the last mornings he’d be doing little things like this without thinking about it.

As Rachel pulled away from the curb, the mood in the car settled into something quiet and heavy. Nobody really knew what to say anymore.

“You’re not gonna forget me, right?” Olivia asked suddenly, her voice already cracking.

Felix’s expression softened immediately. “No, of course not.” He reached for the tissues near the dashboard and gently wiped the corner of her eye. “Don’t cry, bug.”

“You sure?”

“I promise.” He smiled through the emotion threatening to rise in his throat. Felix had practically helped raise her while his parents and Rachel worked. Homework, lunches, cartoons, random late-night snacks—so many little moments stitched into everyday life that he hadn’t realized he’d miss until now.

“You’re my baby sister,” he continued softly. “We have way too many memories together for me to forget you. And besides, Auntie would be sooo offended if you didn’t come visit during the summer.”

That finally earned a tiny laugh out of her.

“And I’ll make time for you, okay? Promise.”

Olivia nodded slowly before looking out the window for a second. “Do you think we can go back to Lotte World?”

Felix smiled faintly. “I’ll make sure of it. As long as you focus on your classes and don’t get in trouble.”

“I never get in trouble.”

Rachel snorted quietly from the driver’s seat.

Felix laughed under his breath before gently flicking Olivia’s forehead. “And remember—you don’t need a prince to make you a princess.”

Olivia blinked at him in confusion. “Huh?”

“You’ll get it when you’re older,” he said softly.

A few minutes later, they pulled up in front of her elementary school. Felix climbed out first and helped her with her backpack before pulling her into a tight hug.

“Have fun today, okay? And happy Valentine’s Day.”

“I love you,” Olivia mumbled into his hoodie.

Felix held her a little tighter. “I love you too.”

He watched as Rachel took Olivia’s hand and walked her toward the school entrance. Olivia turned around twice to wave before disappearing through the doors.

The second Felix got back into the car, the silence returned almost immediately. He leaned back into the seat and let out a long, exhausted sigh, rubbing both hands over his face.

“Y/N…” he started quietly, staring out the window. “Do you think she’s gonna be okay?”

You looked over at him, your heart tightening instantly.

“Yeah,” you said softly, reaching for his hand. Your thumb rubbed small circles against his skin automatically. “She has a really good big brother who would do anything for her. And she has a family that loves her a lot. She’s gonna be okay.”

Felix looked down at your intertwined hands.

“I really try to be everything for everyone,” he admitted after a moment, his voice rougher now. “It gets tiring sometimes….”

“I know,” you whispered. “And that’s what makes you… you.”

You leaned your head lightly against his shoulder.

“But now,” you continued gently, “you get to focus on yourself for once. That doesn’t erase everything you’ve already given people.”

Felix swallowed hard but didn’t respond right away.

You leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek.

A few moments later, Rachel slipped back into the driver’s seat, quietly pulling her headphones over her ears before starting the car again. She didn’t say anything as she drove off toward the airport, pretending not to notice the way the two of you sat impossibly close in the backseat.

The drive to the airport felt strangely normal in the worst possible way.

Traffic lights still changed. People still crossed the street carrying coffee cups and backpacks. Some guy on a bike nearly cut Rachel off and got honked at immediately. Somewhere outside the window, life kept moving with this almost insulting level of indifference.

Meanwhile, the inside of the car felt suspended in time.

Rachel kept her headphones on low enough that she could still hear GPS directions, fingers tapping absentmindedly against the steering wheel. She knew this was a lot so she pretended to not be listening but deep down she was very concerned for Felix and YN. Olivia’s school drop-off had drained whatever fragile energy everyone had left.

The silence in the backseat wasn’t awkward.

It was exhausted.

Felix sat beside you with his head tilted back against the seat, eyes half-closed like he was trying not to think too hard about anything at all. Your hand was still intertwined with his, resting between you on the leather seat. Neither of you had let go for almost twenty minutes now.

Your thumb brushed slowly against the side of his hand without thinking. Felix responded instinctively, squeezing your fingers once before relaxing again.

Outside the window, Sydney blurred past in soft gray streaks.

You glanced over at him quietly.

He looked tired in a way that went beyond not sleeping. Emotionally worn thin. Like too many people had needed pieces of him these past few days and there wasn’t much left over.

“You okay?” Y/N asked softly.

Felix let out a small breath that almost sounded like a laugh.

“No,” he admitted honestly.

Something about the answer made your chest ache more because he didn’t even try to dress it up for you.

“Me neither.”

Another silence settled between you.

Not empty. Just full.

Full of things neither of you knew how to say anymore.

Because what else was there left to say?

I’ll miss you had already been said.I don’t want you to go had already been said too, even when the words themselves stayed buried underneath everything else.

The necklace rested cold against your collarbone. Y/N found herself touching it absentmindedly every few minutes just to reassure herself it was actually there.

Felix noticed immediately.

“You keep doing that,” he murmured without opening his eyes.

You looked down at the necklace for a second before letting out a tiny embarrassed smile.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” His voice softened. “I like that you like it.”

Your throat tightened again.

God. You were so tired of almost crying.

You leaned your head carefully against his shoulder. Felix shifted automatically to make it easier for you, like his body already knew yours well enough to adjust without thinking.

After a second, you pulled out your phone and turned the camera toward both of you. The front screen reflected tired eyes, messy hair, and two people very obviously running on almost no sleep.

Still, somehow, both of you were smiling.

Small smiles. Real ones.

You laughed softly looking at the screen. 

“We look a mess.”

Felix glanced over before a quiet smile spread across his face too.

“No,” he said gently. “It’s perfect.”

You snapped the picture anyway.

The second it saved, Felix nudged your arm lightly.

“Send it to me now.”

“You’re acting like I’m gonna disappear.”

“Well,” he said with a tired laugh, “one of us is getting on a twelve-hour flight in like… an hour.”

Your smile faltered for half a second before you sent the photo quickly anyway.

A moment later his phone buzzed in his hoodie pocket. Felix pulled it out immediately and stared at the picture longer than he probably meant to.

It wasn’t some glamorous goodbye photo.

Your eyes were still slightly red from crying. His hoodie was half falling off his head. The airport signs were blurry in the background.

But you both looked happy.

And somehow that almost hurt more.

The car became quiet again.

Rachel glanced at both of you briefly through the rearview mirror before quickly looking back at the road.

Neither of you noticed.

Or maybe you did and just didn’t care anymore.

Felix stared out the opposite window now, his expression distant.

“I still feel like this isn’t real yet,” he admitted after a while. “Like somebody’s gonna call and say there’s been some mistake.”

You smiled faintly against his shoulder. “Huh? What are you saying? Do you want there to be a mistake? ”

“I don’t know.” He swallowed hard. “That’s the problem.”

The honesty in it hung heavy between you.

Because this was what he wanted. But wanting something didn’t stop it from hurting.

You lifted your head slightly to look at him. “You’re gonna do amazing there.”

Felix let out another quiet laugh, this one more tired than amused.

“You have way too much faith in me.”

“No,” you said softly. “I think you just don’t realize how special you are yet.”

For the first time in almost ten minutes, Felix looked directly at you.

Really looked at you.

And suddenly the air shifted again.That dangerous kind of softness settling back in.

His eyes dropped briefly to your lips before he leaned in and kissed you softly.

You kissed him back immediately, your fingers sliding gently into his hair while his hand tightened instinctively around yours. The kiss was slow and tired and emotional in a way that made your chest ache. Neither of you were chasing heat anymore. You were just trying to hold onto each other for another second longer.

By the time you finally pulled apart, neither of you moved very far away.

Your foreheads brushed lightly together as both of you exhaled shaky breaths.

And then the airport signs started appearing overhead.

Terminal arrows. Departure lanes. Final exits.

Your stomach dropped immediately at the sight of them.

Felix saw your expression change and tightened his grip on your hand again.

Neither of you said anything after that.

Because the airport was close now.

And the closer it got, the less either of you seemed capable of pretending this was just another drive.

As the car slowly pulled into departures, Rachel helped Felix grab his bags from the trunk while his parents checked the flight information near the entrance.

Felix quietly pulled his hoodie over his head, like somehow hiding inside it would keep him from completely falling apart.

Emotionally, he was already running on empty.

At this point, the only thing holding him together was pure momentum.

Some stupid, delusional part of his brain kept imagining his phone buzzing with a message from JYPE telling him they decided to go with someone else. That this had all been a misunderstanding. That he could just turn around, throw his bags back into Rachel’s car, and go home with you instead.

Prom was in two months.

Fuck.

Someone else was probably going to take you.

The thought hit so hard it made his chest ache.

You reached for his hand immediately, noticing the spiral before he even said anything out loud. Your thumb rubbed slow circles against his skin as you leaned down slightly, trying to catch his expression underneath the hood.

Your eyes met.

Both of you looked seconds away from crying again.

Around you, the airport moved loudly and endlessly. Rolling suitcases. Flight announcements. Families talking over each other.

Meanwhile Rachel had quietly distracted his grandparents near the curb while his parents handled check-in, deliberately giving the two of you a few extra moments alone.

“Don’t worry about me,” you said softly, trying your best to lighten the mood. “I’ll still be the same girl that destroyed you in Smash Bros.”

A weak laugh escaped Felix.

“Okay, first of all, you only won because you button mash.”

“That sounds like something a loser would say.”

He shook his head before suddenly pulling you into his chest.

Tightly.

Your cheek rested against his heartbeat while his arms wrapped around you like he was trying to memorize the feeling. You could smell his cologne mixed with laundry detergent and something that was just him.

And that was what finally broke you.

Tears slipped down your face quietly against his hoodie.

“And I’m still the same guy who beat you at least a few times,” Felix murmured, his own voice cracking now.

His hand slid gently through your curls before he pressed a lingering kiss against your forehead.

“I promise I’ll come back,” he whispered. “And I promise I’m not gonna forget you.”

Your chest hurt so badly you could barely breathe.

“This isn’t the last chapter of our story, Y/N.”

You nodded quickly before you completely lost it.

Felix glanced over his shoulder toward his family before gently pulling you toward a quieter corner near the windows away from the crowd.

And then he kissed you.

Deeply.

Desperately.

Like both of you were trying to say every single thing you didn’t know how to put into words.

You kissed him back instantly, your hands gripping the front of his hoodie while the rest of the airport seemed to disappear around you completely.

For a few seconds, it honestly felt like time froze.

Then—

“Korea Air flight to Seoul departing from Gate 37A will begin boarding shortly.”

Reality crashed back immediately.

“Yongbok!”

Felix heard his mother calling for him from across the terminal.

Both of you pulled apart too fast, breathing unevenly.

When you walked back over, his parents looked mildly confused by the flushed expressions and watery eyes, but everything was moving too quickly now for anyone to question it.

Rachel immediately wrapped her little brother in a tight hug.

“Hey,” she said quietly. “Stay focused, okay? You always do your best when you stop overthinking everything.”

Felix nodded against her shoulder.

“I’ll try.”

His grandparents hugged him next.

“I’m nervous for you, kid,” his grandmother admitted honestly, squeezing his hands. “But I think that’s just part of getting old.”

His grandfather gave him a firm pat on the back.

“You’re our only boy,” he said proudly. “Make us proud.”

Y/N suddenly felt the entire terminal start spinning slightly.

Jesus Christ.

I think I’m actually going to pass out.

Your spiral got interrupted when Felix pulled you into one final hug.

And this one lasted too long.

Long enough that people nearby started glancing over.

Neither of you cared.

“I’ll call you when I land,” Felix whispered against your hair. “I promise.”

You pulled back slowly before lifting your hand between you both.

The secret handshake.

The one you made together at twelve years old during sleepaway camp.

For the first time all morning, Felix laughed for real.

Small. Broken. But real.

He finished the handshake perfectly from memory.

Rachel quietly started guiding his grandparents back toward the exit while Felix forced himself to finally step away from you and catch up with his parents near security.

Even then, he kept looking back.

Again. And again. And again.

Y/N knew she should move.

Y/N knew standing there watching him disappear probably wasn’t helping anything.

But your body refused.

So you stayed there until he finally disappeared past security.

Only then did the emptiness hit.

Hard.

By the time Felix caught up with his parents in line, tears were already sliding visibly down his face while he silently pulled his electronics from his backpack.

“Felix, wha—”

His mother stopped mid-sentence the second she saw him.

“Mom, I’m fine,” he muttered quickly, wiping at his face in frustration. “It’s just been a really long day and it’s only like 10:30.”

“Lina,” his father whispered gently to her, “give him a second.”

She nodded quietly.

After security, the three of them eventually made it to the gate, but Felix barely registered any of it. He just sat there staring blankly at the runway, trying to process how his entire life had changed in less than three hours.

His mother disappeared briefly before returning with a bottle of Passiona and chips.

“Hey,” she said softly, holding it out toward him. “I got you this.”

Felix smiled instantly despite himself.

Moms always did that when they didn’t know what to say. They showed up with drinks. Fruit. Snacks. Little acts of love disguised as errands.

“Thanks, Mom,” he said quietly. “I’m gonna miss that.”

Her expression softened immediately.

“You have people waiting for you here,” she reminded him gently. “No matter how far away you go.”

Felix leaned forward and hugged her tightly.

A little while later, once he finally settled into his seat on the plane, exhaustion started settling over him like concrete.

The plane began taxiing slowly down the runway while some random song played faintly through his headphones.

He barely even registered what it was.

All he knew was that after the Passiona, after distracting himself with Smash on his Switch for 2 hours, after trying so hard to keep it together for everybody else—

the emotions finally caught up to him.

A tear landed against the screen.

Then another.

And suddenly there were quiet tear drops scattered across his Switch while Seoul waited for him on the other side of the sky.

Felix slipped past security and you just stood there.

You stood there long after his parents disappeared behind the checkpoint. Long after the line shifted forward and strangers filled the empty space where he had been only seconds ago. Your body felt frozen in place, like if you stayed there long enough he might suddenly come running back saying the flight got canceled. That JYPE changed their mind. That he wasn’t really leaving after all.

But the airport kept moving around you anyway.

Announcements echoed overhead. Suitcases rolled across the floor. Someone nearby laughed at something on their phone and the sound irritated you instantly. How was everyone acting normal right now when your chest still felt stuck at Gate 37A?

Eventually, you forced yourself to move. Every step toward the exit felt wrong somehow. Heavy. Like your body was walking away from something it wasn’t ready to lose yet.

Outside, cold air hit your face immediately. You looked around numbly for the nearest bus stop, hugging your bag tightly against your side while people rushed past you with coffees and luggage and normal lives.

Honk. Honk.

“Y/N! Get in!”

You looked over to see Rachel leaning halfway out the driver’s side window.

For a second, you almost cried again just because somebody had stopped for you.

“You sure?” you asked quietly as you walked toward the car. “It’s already like 10:30 and I know you probably have stuff to do—”

“Just get in the car,” Rachel cut in immediately in that loving older-sister tone that reminded you painfully of Felix.

You slid into the passenger seat quietly while Rachel pulled away from the curb.

“Our grandparents went to their swim lesson,” she explained casually. “And I don’t have class for a while anyway.”

You nodded faintly, staring out the window.

The city outside looked offensively normal. People crossing streets. Someone walking their dog. Couples holding coffee. Cars moving like today was just another Tuesday and not the day your chest felt hollowed out.

Rachel tried making small conversation at first. Little comments about Olivia probably already telling her classmates she had “airport trauma.” Asking if you ate today. Talking about traffic.

You answered enough not to seem rude, but honestly none of it was registering.

Your mind was still back at the airport replaying everything in fragments.

Felix fixing Olivia’s seatbelt.

Felix pulling his hood up so nobody would see him crying.

This isn’t the last chapter of our story.

Your stomach twisted painfully.

Then the radio changed songs.

Soft piano filled the car first.

And then—

“High dive into frozen waves…”

Your entire body locked up.

No.

Not this song.

Clarity by Zedd.

The karaoke song.

The same song Felix screamed dramatically into the microphone last week while pointing at you during the chorus because he knew you secretly knew every word too.

Your throat tightened instantly.

And suddenly all the “lasts” started hitting you at once.

Last karaoke night.

Last late-night gaming session.

Last hug.

Last kiss.

Last time hearing his laugh in person.

Last time sitting beside him in a car.

“Cause you are the piece of me…”

Your breathing cracked.

Because for the first time all day it fully hit you that he wasn’t coming back next week.

There was no “see you tomorrow.”

No random texts asking if you were awake.

No prom together.

No spring.

No summer.

Just distance.

“Hey…” Your voice came out strained. “Can we change the station?”

Rachel glanced over once before quietly turning the radio off completely.

But the silence somehow made it worse.

Because now the song kept replaying in your head anyway.

The tears came before you could stop them. Silent at first. Then suddenly not silent at all.

“Y/N—”

Rachel immediately pulled the car onto a quieter side street and parked.

You covered your face with both hands, embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” you choked out. “I’m trying so hard not to do this right now.”

“Hey.” Rachel turned toward you fully. “Look at me for a second.”

You shook your head immediately.

“Yes you can,” she said gently. “Match my breathing.”

Rachel took your hand and started breathing slowly until your breathing finally started evening out enough for you to actually inhale properly again.

“I’m fine,” you lied weakly afterward. “I have to be.”

“You don’t.”

“I do,” you said faster this time, frustrated now. “I can’t keep falling apart every time someone leaves me.”

The silence afterward felt heavy.

Because that was the real thing underneath all of this.

Not just Felix.

Your mom. Faith. Hana. Your dad checking out emotionally years ago.

Now Felix too.

Another person becoming someone you missed instead of someone you had.

Rachel’s expression softened instantly.

“I know,” she said quietly.

You laughed shakily through tears, wiping at your face. “This is actually so embarrassing.”

“It’s really not.”

“Yes it is. He’s not dead, he just went to korea. Meanwhile I’m in here acting like somebody widowed me at 18”

Rachel snorted softly despite herself. “To be fair, you and Felix have always been dramatic.”

That earned the tiniest laugh out of you.

“Seriously,” Rachel continued, glancing over as she leaned against the steering wheel. “Do you know how insane it was growing up around you two? One minor inconvenience and suddenly it was like watching the season finale of a K-drama.”

You covered your face again, laughing and crying at the same time now. “Oh my god, shut up.”

“I’m serious,” Rachel said, grinning faintly now. “One time you both lost a Mario Kart tournament and Felix deadass sat on the porch staring into space for like forty minutes while you kept saying ‘nothing feels real anymore.’ You were thirteen.”

Another laugh escaped you through the tears.

And somehow that almost hurt worse.

Because now all you could think about was how easy things used to feel back then. Before grief. Before distance. Before growing up turned everything fragile.

Then Rachel reached over and pulled you into a quick hug across the center console.

“What you had with him was real,” she said quietly. “And you don’t have to pretend it wasn’t”

Your chest tightened all over again.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” you asked quietly.

Rachel looked genuinely confused by the question.

“Because I care about you,” she answered simply. “And because he’s not here now. Somebody has to make sure you’re okay.”

That almost made you cry again.

Rachel started the car back up a second later.

“Also,” she added casually, “I’m not taking you to school anymore.”

You blinked. “What?”

“I’m taking you to home.”

“Rachel, I can push through—”

“My B.S are tingling..,” she interrupted immediately. “And they’re telling me you’re about three seconds away from emotionally combusting in public”

Despite everything, another broken laugh escaped you.

A few minutes later, Rachel pulled into your grandmother’s driveway.

And as you stepped out of the car, one awful realization finally settled fully into your chest.

There were no more countdowns left now.

Felix was gone.

In the quiet of your room, the noise of the entire day finally faded away.

No airport announcements. No car engines. No people talking around you. No one asking questions or telling you to be strong.

Just silence.

And somehow, that silence made everything worse.

Because now there was nothing distracting you from the empty feeling sitting in your chest.

Deep down, you knew Felix was alive. Safe. Breathing somewhere over the Pacific Ocean right now. This wasn’t death. It wasn’t permanent.

But your body didn’t seem to understand the difference.

The ache felt terrifyingly familiar. Too close to the feeling you had after your mom died. That same awful hollow sensation like the world had kept moving while you got emotionally left behind somewhere.

You changed slowly into the oversized pajamas Felix had left at your house months ago and never bothered taking back. They still smelled faintly like his detergent and cologne. The second the fabric settled against your skin, your throat tightened again.

You crawled into bed and opened Crunchyroll, letting old episodes of Yu Yu Hakusho play quietly in the background. Something familiar. Something safe. You and Felix used to stay up way too late watching it together, half paying attention while arguing over characters and eating snacks at three in the morning.

Now the voices from the TV just made the room feel emptier.

Ding.

Your eyes drifted toward your phone.

Faith: Hey are you home? I know we haven’t really talked since the party but i know he left today and im really worried about you… I love you regardless and i just wanna be there for u. You’re still my best friend.

You stared at the message for a long moment.

After everything that happened at the party, after the distance and tension and judgment lingering between you both, part of you still expected resentment. Awkwardness. Maybe even silence.

But right now you were too emotionally exhausted to hold onto pride.

At this point, you just needed someone.

Y/N: thanks yea im home. Rachel’s orders lol. She said i was too emotional to go to school. For what its worth… I’m really sorry about that night and i love and miss u too bestie

The typing bubble appeared almost instantly.

Faith: I miss u too and tbh I was harsh that night too. Hey let me know if you need me to come over or if you need a girls night or something

Your chest tightened a little reading that.

Y/N: not today but maybe soon. I’m really tired so i kinda just wanna turn my brain off

Faith: okay. I’ll check in later. Please take care of yourself.

You smiled weakly before the emotion faded again just as fast.

The only other thing you had enough energy for was texting Hana that you made it home safely.

Then you turned your phone onto Do Not Disturb.

Curled under the blankets, you pulled the stupid bunny plush Felix won for you closer against your chest and stared at the last selfie you took together in Rachel’s car only hours ago. Puffy eyes. Forced smiles. His head leaning against yours like maybe proximity alone could stop time.

Your vision blurred again.

The TV kept playing quietly in the background while tears slid silently into the pillow beneath your face.

God.

You missed him already.

____________________________________________________

This is nearing the end. Only two more parts. I really do hope yall enjoy it

[euphoricdr3ams]

Untitled (14/16)

Y/N feels like she’s losing everyone at once. Her father barely sees her, Faith feels distant, her grief still follows her everywhere, and now Felix—the person who somehow always understood her without trying—is getting on a plane to the other side of the world. What starts as one final attempt to give him a goodbye gift quickly turns into emotional chaos, airport breakdowns, old memories, and the terrifying realization that some people become impossible to imagine your life without.

genres: written, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst,unrequited love, senior year (highschool), felix and Y/N are aged up to 17, pre-debut

Trigger Warning: Angst, Fluff, Cursing

Word count: 8,228

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

Ding. 

Fuck it’s 7:30AM

Michelle: don’t forget we have our group meeting today

You took a deep breath, trying to see if it would calm down the raging headache splitting behind your eyes. It didn’t. You hadn’t really slept. Not enough for it to count. You just stayed up all night gaming with Felix, running co-op missions and fighting bosses like pretending artifact stats mattered could somehow stop morning from coming. He should’ve been sleeping too, but neither of you said that. Neither of you wanted to be the first person to admit what today actually meant.

Because Felix was leaving.

Actually leaving.

 In a few hours, he’d be on a plane, and whatever existed between you would have to survive distance, silence, and life moving forward without asking permission.

Morning came anyway. It always did.

From the kitchen, your little brother’s voice carried loudly through the apartment walls.

“Dad, I think I’m gonna give my Valentine’s Day card to Christina. She is my wife.”

Your 8-year-old brother was talking, but it felt like he was yelling directly into your skull.

“Aww that’s so cute. I’m sure you’ll have a blossoming relationship and I will support you no matter what.”

Your father’s voice followed, warm and easy.

Your chest tightened.

This is B.S..Where’s my support?

He had never said anything like that to you. Funny how love always sounded so simple when it was for someone else. When it was you, everything came with conditions. Be quieter. Be easier. Need less.

Ding.

The group project chat goes off again.

Whitney: are you coming @ Y/N? you flaked last meeting….

The notification made your jaw clench so hard it hurt. Not because of Whitney. Not really. Just because one more person needing something from you felt like enough to make you scream.

Knock. Knock.

“Hey sweetie, it’s mom. It’s time to get ready for school. Let’s get moving pleaseee….. Working adults have important things to get to…”

Blair. My mom is dead. You know this. You are just his replacement wife.

Passive aggressive before 8 AM. Impressive.

“I know, Blair. I’m getting ready now,” you called back, your voice already irritated.

Everyone always wanted something.

Your professor wanted attendance. Your group wanted replies. Blair wanted you downstairs, dressed, functioning like a normal person. Your brother wanted someone to care about Valentine’s Day like the world wasn’t quietly ending in a few hours.

And Felix was leaving.

And somehow everyone expected you to keep moving like your chest didn’t feel caved in. Like grief wasn’t sitting at the breakfast table with you. Like losing your mom hadn’t already hollowed something out inside you. Like Hana leaving. Like Faith pulling away. She hadn’t talked to you since Mike’s party. Like Felix becoming another person you were about to miss.

Everyone treated you like you were strong.

But strength was just what people called you when they planned on leaving you to deal with everything alone.

You wanted silence so badly it felt violent. Wanted everyone to stop talking. Stop asking. Stop needing.

Just for one second.

Your eyes burned as you looked at your phone screen—the screensaver from that party two weeks ago. You and Felix smiling like life was easy. Like he wasn’t about to leave. Like you weren’t already grieving someone who was still standing right in front of you.

Your throat tightened.

Fuck.

I don’t know how I am supposed to do this.

Ding.

Lix: hey did you get some rest ? even if it was only for an hr

Of course.

Felix had some kind of emotional radar built specifically for you. He always showed up when you were at your worst, like he could feel it from miles away.

You tried to smile, but it broke apart the second your eyes lifted to the lotus flower painting on your wall.

Your mom.

That painting had taken weeks. Every brushstroke felt like trying to hold onto grief without letting it swallow you whole. It grounded you. Centered you. Proof that even ugly feelings could become something beautiful if you sat with them long enough.

And suddenly—

Fuck.

You didn’t want him to leave without a piece of you

Y/N stared at the painting for a second too long, like if she looked at it hard enough, it might anchor her. Her hands were already moving before her brain fully caught up.

Fuck, I don’t want him to go without a piece of me.

You carefully—but frantically—slipped the lotus flower painting into a portfolio. Your movements weren’t calm; they were precise in that desperate way people get when they’re trying not to fall apart. Like if you just moved fast enough, you wouldn’t have to sit with what was happening.

Ding.

Lix: 9:30 ish. My grandma and grandpa are over right now. We’re having breakfast.

Your chest tightened immediately.

Shit. There’s still time.

But even as you thought it, your body didn’t feel like it belonged to time anymore. Everything felt too loud. The ticking clock in the corner of your room. The group chat still buzzing. Blair still yelling from somewhere in the apartment. Your little brother was laughing like nothing in the world was changing.

Like your entire life wasn’t quietly cracking open.

The overstimulation made you feel like your skin didn’t fit right anymore. You could feel every second passing like pressure against her ribs.

Chemistry Group A: yea, I’ll try my best but im kinda under the weather.

Your thumbs shook slightly as you hit send. Not because of guilt—you didn’t even have space for that right now. 

You wiped your face quickly, angry at herself for crying this much, and threw on jeans and a baggy shirt. Your movements were rushed now. Every sound in the house felt sharp. Footsteps. Cabinets closing. Voices bleeding through walls. It all made her want to scream.

You walked slowly down the hallway toward your father’s office, each step heavier than it should have been.

Fuck, I hate asking him for shit.

But there was no other way. There wasn’t enough time for the bus, and You couldn’t let Felix leave like this. Not without seeing him. Not without giving him something that mattered.

You stood in the doorway.

“Hey Dad.”

“Hey sweetie, what’s going on? You need something?” he asked, turning from his desk with that practiced warmth he always gave in passing. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead quickly before checking his watch again. “I have to go soon. Big client today.”

Even that made something in her chest sink. Every conversation with him felt like trying to catch someone already halfway out the door.

“Yeah, um… this would be quick, but can you drop me off at Felix’s house? He forgot something and I really wanna get it to him. He’s leaving today.”

The words came out too fast, like if you said them quickly enough, maybe he wouldn’t say no.

“Shouldn’t he be back by the weekend……”

Your throat tightened immediately.

“Dad, he’s going too…” Your voice cracked before she could stop it. “He’s pursuing music in Korea…”

Saying it out loud made it worse. It made it real in a way your brain had been avoiding for weeks. Months. 

From the other room, Blair’s voice cut through the air.

“Y/N! She has to figure out her own way to school!”

Her father sighed. The kind of sigh that already had an answer in it.

“Sorry, sweetie. I can’t. Your mother is driving me in today and we need to actually get going. You should put it in the mail. Take the money on the dresser and do it.”

Your hands curled at your sides.

“Dad, I really want to give it to him in person…”

“Well, that’s my solution. You don’t want it, then fine. Figure it out on your own. I have to go.”

You were crying now, quietly, the kind of crying that felt humiliating because it wasn’t dramatic enough for anyone to notice and not small enough to hide.

“And practically speaking,” he added, barely looking at you, “where is he going to put one of your little doodles?”

That one hurt.

Because it reminded you exactly where your feelings ranked in his life.

The door closed.

A few moments later, you heard the other door shut too. Blair. Everyone leaving. Everyone moving. Everyone expecting you to just adjust around it.

You stood there in the silence, gripping the portfolio so tightly your fingers hurt.

Everyone always called you strong.

But strength was just what people called you when they planned on leaving you to deal with everything alone.

Your mom was gone.

Faith felt far away.

Hana had her own life.

And now Felix.

Another person becoming something you had to miss.

Your father would probably send his executive assistant to your graduation one day and call it support. That thought made you laugh bitterly through the tears.

You looked down at the clock.

8:00.

Fuck.

Your last option.

You grabbed your phone and called Hana.

The phone rang once. Twice. Three times.

Each second made your chest feel tighter.

If she didn’t answer, you were going to lose your mind.

Finally

“Hey, what’s going on? It’s so early, you don’t normally do this.”

Hana’s voice came through soft, but already concerned. She sounded like someone bracing for impact, which honestly made sense. You had called her crying almost every day for the past week. If it wasn’t Felix, it was your father. If it wasn’t your father, it was Faith. If it wasn’t Faith, it was just the crushing weight of trying to be okay when you very clearly were not.

Every support beam in your life felt like it was rotting at once..

You opened your mouth, but your throat closed first. The tears came back immediately, hot and embarrassing.

“I need you to send me an Uber to Felix’s house. Now.”

The words barely made it out between shaky breaths.

There was a pause.

Not long. Just enough for her to understand exactly what kind of call this was.

“Y/N… are you sure? He’s—”

“Hana, please….” Your voice cracked so hard it barely sounded like yours. “Please... I asked Dad and of course he said no. It was stupid to think he’d choose me over that bitch—he’s been choosing her since Mom was still in that hospital bed… I just—I need to give him this and see him one last time. I don’t care if it’s only for ten minutes. I just… I can’t let him leave like this.”

Silence.

The kind that made you feel twelve years old again. Small. Waiting. Hoping someone would choose you.

You wiped your face angrily, pacing your room with the portfolio still clutched to your chest like if you let go of it, you’d fall apart too.

When Hana finally spoke, her voice was quieter.

“Be ready in two minutes. They confirmed quickly for one.”

Your knees nearly gave out from relief.

“Thank you so much.”

“Please call me later,” she said. “That’s all I ask, okay?”

You nodded before realizing she couldn’t see you.

“Okay.”

You hung up and stared at your phone screen as the driver details popped up.

Two minutes.

Your heart was beating so hard it made your whole body feel restless. You grabbed your keys, the painting, and nothing else.

No makeup. No second thought. No pretending this was normal.

Just urgency.

You stepped outside into the swampy humid air, and it hit you all at once.

This was really happening.

The sun was out like the world had the nerve to keep being beautiful anyway. People were walking dogs. Someone was carrying coffee. Cars moved like this was just another Tuesday and not the day your chest felt like it was splitting open.

It made you irrationally angry. How dare life keep going. The Uber pulled up too slowly. You got in, holding the portfolio carefully on your lap like it was fragile enough to break, because somehow it felt like it was. Like this stupid painting had become all the things you didn’t know how to say.

Stay.

Don’t forget me.

Please don’t become another person I have to miss.

You stared out the window as the city blurred past, your knee bouncing uncontrollably.

What if he already left?

What if you were too late?

What if you got there and everything felt stupid and dramatic and embarrassing and he didn’t understand why this mattered so much?

What if he did?

That one scared you more.

Because if Felix looked at you the way you secretly wanted him to, then this wouldn’t just be goodbye.

It would be loss.

Real loss.

And you weren’t sure how many more of those you could survive.

_____________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe you’re actually letting the boy leave, Lina…” Felix’s grandmother gasped.

“It’s going to be hard, but I believe in him,” Lina, Felix’s Mom said, backing Felix up like she always did.

Felix’s food was just being pushed around the plate, his pancakes cut up and dismantled in a way where no one could notice he had barely taken a bite of the breakfast his sister had made for him.

“Felix, don’t be rude. Answer your grandmother,” his father said, snapping him back into the present moment.

“Huh? Sorry. I zoned out. I’m just really tired.”

Olivia appeared beside him holding another small bottle of juice.

“Yes, I’ll open that for you.” Felix patted her hair gently while twisting the cap open for her. He was trying to ground himself in the present moment however he could in this crazy, rapidly changing world.

“You’re gonna get up there and focus, right? No running after girls. And you’re going to call your aunt at the first sign of anything funny, right?” Felix’s grandfather said, looking him straight in the eye.

“Yes. I will. I won’t fail. This is the most important thing—not only for me, but for us.”

“But if things aren’t working out, it’s okay. You always have a home here,” his dad added, rubbing his back.

“Yes, Dad. Trust me, he knows that,” Rachel jumped in gently. “But I believe in him too. Let’s not put too much pressure on him right now. Let’s just enjoy breakfast. Tomorrow will come when tomorrow comes.”

From the corner of her eye, she noticed Felix had mentally checked out of the conversation almost thirty minutes ago.

Felix felt like his emotions were going to explode sitting at the table. There was only so long he could listen to everyone’s thousand different ways this gamble could either work out or completely fall apart. Too many thoughts were running through his head. Too many people talking at once. Every few minutes he found himself zoning out into his coffee or cold eggs, silently begging for some kind of relief from it all.

Ding.

Rachel quickly stood from the tense breakfast table and walked toward the front door.

When she opened it, Y/N was standing there clutching a portfolio against her chest like it was the only thing keeping her together. Her cheeks were puffed slightly from nervous breathing, eyes glossy like she had spent the entire walk over trying not to cry.

Y/N took a small breath.

“Hey, Rachel… um, I know this is sudden, but I really just…”

“It’s okay,” Rachel said gently, stepping aside. “Just come in.”

You walked carefully into the kitchen, suddenly aware of how loud everything felt—the clinking forks, the quiet conversations, the weight of too many eyes turning toward you at once.

“Yes, he’s pursuing his dream, and I’m so proud of him,” Felix’s mom was saying warmly as she stood from the table. “He’s going to succeed. I just know it.” Her face immediately softened when she noticed you. “Ohhh, sweetheart, Y/N’s here.” She opened her arms. “Come say goodbye properly and give me a hug.”

Felix finally snapped out of whatever spiral he had been stuck in and looked up. His eyes immediately landed on the portfolio in your hands. Slowly, he stood from his chair.

“Sorry for intruding like this,” you said quietly. “I just… really wanted to give him this before he left.”

Your fingers slipped into the portfolio carefully before pulling out the painting of the lotus flower.

For a second, the room went quiet.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Felix’s mom breathed. “This is beautiful.”

You really do have talent,” his dad added, leaning forward to get a better look. “You know, every time I see your work, I get a little more offended that you're not going into art school.”

The room let out a small chuckle at the joke, but Felix barely heard any of it.

The entire time, he was staring at you instead—searching your expression like he was trying to figure out if you were actually okay with this.

You forced yourself to smile back at him, trying your best to silently say: I’m okay. I want you to have it.

“Well?” Olivia suddenly blurted out, bouncing excitedly in her chair. “Don’t just stand there. Take it!”

That finally broke Felix out of his trance. He stepped forward carefully and accepted the painting from your hands like it was something fragile enough to break.

“Are you coming to the airport with us?” Olivia asked immediately.

“Oh—I wasn’t trying to impose,” you said quickly. “You know, it’s family stuff and—”

“You’re coming.”

Felix said it casually, but there was enough firmness underneath it that everyone at the table noticed.

“Rachel can drive me, you, and Olivia. Dad can drive Mom and Grandma and Grandpa.” He glanced toward Rachel. “That works, right?”

Rachel took a slow breath.

She could feel the tension between you and Felix from across the room, and deep down, she already knew their relationship had gotten far more complicated than either of you were willing to admit out loud.

“Yeah, no worries,” she said finally. “I’ll drop you off at school after.” She pointed toward Y/N as she started walking toward the hallway. “But we should probably leave soon because this one still has to give her little boyfriend his Valentine’s gift.”

“Is it that same boy?” Olivia nodded. 

“Yes, He’s the love of my life and today I’m gonna tell him how i feel. Its gonna be soooo romantic. He’s going to make all my dreams come true.” 

Felix groaned immediately while Olivia burst into laughter.

Rachel only smirked as she disappeared toward the bathroom.

“Five minutes,” she called out. “Then the first car’s leaving.”Felix briefly escaped into his room to grab the necklace he had gotten for you. It was a silver G-clef note lined with tiny rhinestones. He had been genuinely annoyed it hadn’t arrived sooner and was already planning to ask Rachel to mail it to you later.

But somehow, you showing up changed that.

Funny how things worked out sometimes.

“Y/N, come here for a second,” Felix called softly from his room.

You glanced toward Rachel before making your way down the hallway. The second you stepped inside, Felix quietly shut the door behind you. The sounds of his family talking downstairs became muffled instantly.

“I got you this,” he said, suddenly looking a little nervous as he handed over the small box. “Figured you’d need something to remember me by once you are featured curator at the Art Gallery of New South Wales.”

You laughed softly through the emotion already building in your chest before opening the box. Inside sat the necklace—the delicate music note catching the light immediately.

Your expression softened.

“Felix…” your voice cracked slightly at the end of his name. “This is so nice.”

His face relaxed the second he saw your reaction. “You like it?”

“Of course I like it.”

You looked back down at the necklace again, fingertips brushing carefully over the rhinestones. The gesture felt painfully him. Thoughtful in a way that never asked for credit.

A tear slipped loose before you could stop it.

Felix reached forward instinctively, wiping it away gently with his thumb before leaning down to kiss you. The kiss was soft at first, almost hesitant, but it deepened the second you melted into him.

“I’m really happy you came,” Felix admitted quietly once he pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “I was seriously losing my mind out there.”

You let out a watery laugh. “Me too.” Your fingers intertwined with his automatically. “Honestly… this was worth everything that happened before.”

For a moment neither of you said anything. You just stood there holding onto each other while time kept moving anyway.

“You sure you want me to come?” you asked softly after a while, even though part of you already knew the answer.

“Yes,” Felix answered immediately. There wasn’t even hesitation in it. “I know we’re running out of time, but…” He looked down briefly before opening the necklace box again and carefully taking the chain out. “I just want more of it.”

Your chest tightened painfully.

Felix stepped behind you and gently moved your hair over your shoulder before fastening the necklace around your neck. His fingers lingered there for a second longer than necessary.

“So even when I’m gone,” he said quietly, “you still have a little piece of me with you.”

That did it.

You turned around immediately and kissed him harder this time, emotion finally spilling over into something neither of you could pretend was casual anymore. His hands found your waist instantly, pulling you closer like he was afraid to waste even another second.

What felt like hours passed before Rachel’s voice suddenly echoed from the door.

“The car is ready.”

Felix groaned against your shoulder while you burst into embarrassed laughter, both of you reluctantly pulling apart.

_________________________________________________________________

Everyone helped load the car. Truthfully, his parents were the only ones accompanying him to Korea to help him settle in for the first few days before flying back home. Olivia and Rachel still had school, so they couldn’t come.

Felix let out a quiet sigh as he leaned over to make sure Olivia’s seatbelt was strapped in properly. One of the last times, he realized. One of the last mornings he’d be doing little things like this without thinking about it.

As Rachel pulled away from the curb, the mood in the car settled into something quiet and heavy. Nobody really knew what to say anymore.

“You’re not gonna forget me, right?” Olivia asked suddenly, her voice already cracking.

Felix’s expression softened immediately. “No, of course not.” He reached for the tissues near the dashboard and gently wiped the corner of her eye. “Don’t cry, bug.”

“You sure?”

“I promise.” He smiled through the emotion threatening to rise in his throat. Felix had practically helped raise her while his parents and Rachel worked. Homework, lunches, cartoons, random late-night snacks—so many little moments stitched into everyday life that he hadn’t realized he’d miss until now.

“You’re my baby sister,” he continued softly. “We have way too many memories together for me to forget you. And besides, Auntie would be sooo offended if you didn’t come visit during the summer.”

That finally earned a tiny laugh out of her.

“And I’ll make time for you, okay? Promise.”

Olivia nodded slowly before looking out the window for a second. “Do you think we can go back to Lotte World?”

Felix smiled faintly. “I’ll make sure of it. As long as you focus on your classes and don’t get in trouble.”

“I never get in trouble.”

Rachel snorted quietly from the driver’s seat.

Felix laughed under his breath before gently flicking Olivia’s forehead. “And remember—you don’t need a prince to make you a princess.”

Olivia blinked at him in confusion. “Huh?”

“You’ll get it when you’re older,” he said softly.

A few minutes later, they pulled up in front of her elementary school. Felix climbed out first and helped her with her backpack before pulling her into a tight hug.

“Have fun today, okay? And happy Valentine’s Day.”

“I love you,” Olivia mumbled into his hoodie.

Felix held her a little tighter. “I love you too.”

He watched as Rachel took Olivia’s hand and walked her toward the school entrance. Olivia turned around twice to wave before disappearing through the doors.

The second Felix got back into the car, the silence returned almost immediately. He leaned back into the seat and let out a long, exhausted sigh, rubbing both hands over his face.

“Y/N…” he started quietly, staring out the window. “Do you think she’s gonna be okay?”

You looked over at him, your heart tightening instantly.

“Yeah,” you said softly, reaching for his hand. Your thumb rubbed small circles against his skin automatically. “She has a really good big brother who would do anything for her. And she has a family that loves her a lot. She’s gonna be okay.”

Felix looked down at your intertwined hands.

“I really try to be everything for everyone,” he admitted after a moment, his voice rougher now. “It gets tiring sometimes….”

“I know,” you whispered. “And that’s what makes you… you.”

You leaned your head lightly against his shoulder.

“But now,” you continued gently, “you get to focus on yourself for once. That doesn’t erase everything you’ve already given people.”

Felix swallowed hard but didn’t respond right away.

You leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek.

A few moments later, Rachel slipped back into the driver’s seat, quietly pulling her headphones over her ears before starting the car again. She didn’t say anything as she drove off toward the airport, pretending not to notice the way the two of you sat impossibly close in the backseat.

The drive to the airport felt strangely normal in the worst possible way.

Traffic lights still changed. People still crossed the street carrying coffee cups and backpacks. Some guy on a bike nearly cut Rachel off and got honked at immediately. Somewhere outside the window, life kept moving with this almost insulting level of indifference.

Meanwhile, the inside of the car felt suspended in time.

Rachel kept her headphones on low enough that she could still hear GPS directions, fingers tapping absentmindedly against the steering wheel. She knew this was a lot so she pretended to not be listening but deep down she was very concerned for Felix and YN. Olivia’s school drop-off had drained whatever fragile energy everyone had left.

The silence in the backseat wasn’t awkward.

It was exhausted.

Felix sat beside you with his head tilted back against the seat, eyes half-closed like he was trying not to think too hard about anything at all. Your hand was still intertwined with his, resting between you on the leather seat. Neither of you had let go for almost twenty minutes now.

Your thumb brushed slowly against the side of his hand without thinking. Felix responded instinctively, squeezing your fingers once before relaxing again.

Outside the window, Sydney blurred past in soft gray streaks.

You glanced over at him quietly.

He looked tired in a way that went beyond not sleeping. Emotionally worn thin. Like too many people had needed pieces of him these past few days and there wasn’t much left over.

“You okay?” Y/N asked softly.

Felix let out a small breath that almost sounded like a laugh.

“No,” he admitted honestly.

Something about the answer made your chest ache more because he didn’t even try to dress it up for you.

“Me neither.”

Another silence settled between you.

Not empty. Just full.

Full of things neither of you knew how to say anymore.

Because what else was there left to say?

I’ll miss you had already been said.I don’t want you to go had already been said too, even when the words themselves stayed buried underneath everything else.

The necklace rested cold against your collarbone. Y/N found herself touching it absentmindedly every few minutes just to reassure herself it was actually there.

Felix noticed immediately.

“You keep doing that,” he murmured without opening his eyes.

You looked down at the necklace for a second before letting out a tiny embarrassed smile.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” His voice softened. “I like that you like it.”

Your throat tightened again.

God. You were so tired of almost crying.

You leaned your head carefully against his shoulder. Felix shifted automatically to make it easier for you, like his body already knew yours well enough to adjust without thinking.

After a second, you pulled out your phone and turned the camera toward both of you. The front screen reflected tired eyes, messy hair, and two people very obviously running on almost no sleep.

Still, somehow, both of you were smiling.

Small smiles. Real ones.

You laughed softly looking at the screen. 

“We look a mess.”

Felix glanced over before a quiet smile spread across his face too.

“No,” he said gently. “It’s perfect.”

You snapped the picture anyway.

The second it saved, Felix nudged your arm lightly.

“Send it to me now.”

“You’re acting like I’m gonna disappear.”

“Well,” he said with a tired laugh, “one of us is getting on a twelve-hour flight in like… an hour.”

Your smile faltered for half a second before you sent the photo quickly anyway.

A moment later his phone buzzed in his hoodie pocket. Felix pulled it out immediately and stared at the picture longer than he probably meant to.

It wasn’t some glamorous goodbye photo.

Your eyes were still slightly red from crying. His hoodie was half falling off his head. The airport signs were blurry in the background.

But you both looked happy.

And somehow that almost hurt more.

The car became quiet again.

Rachel glanced at both of you briefly through the rearview mirror before quickly looking back at the road.

Neither of you noticed.

Or maybe you did and just didn’t care anymore.

Felix stared out the opposite window now, his expression distant.

“I still feel like this isn’t real yet,” he admitted after a while. “Like somebody’s gonna call and say there’s been some mistake.”

You smiled faintly against his shoulder. “Huh? What are you saying? Do you want there to be a mistake? ”

“I don’t know.” He swallowed hard. “That’s the problem.”

The honesty in it hung heavy between you.

Because this was what he wanted. But wanting something didn’t stop it from hurting.

You lifted your head slightly to look at him. “You’re gonna do amazing there.”

Felix let out another quiet laugh, this one more tired than amused.

“You have way too much faith in me.”

“No,” you said softly. “I think you just don’t realize how special you are yet.”

For the first time in almost ten minutes, Felix looked directly at you.

Really looked at you.

And suddenly the air shifted again.That dangerous kind of softness settling back in.

His eyes dropped briefly to your lips before he leaned in and kissed you softly.

You kissed him back immediately, your fingers sliding gently into his hair while his hand tightened instinctively around yours. The kiss was slow and tired and emotional in a way that made your chest ache. Neither of you were chasing heat anymore. You were just trying to hold onto each other for another second longer.

By the time you finally pulled apart, neither of you moved very far away.

Your foreheads brushed lightly together as both of you exhaled shaky breaths.

And then the airport signs started appearing overhead.

Terminal arrows. Departure lanes. Final exits.

Your stomach dropped immediately at the sight of them.

Felix saw your expression change and tightened his grip on your hand again.

Neither of you said anything after that.

Because the airport was close now.

And the closer it got, the less either of you seemed capable of pretending this was just another drive.

As the car slowly pulled into departures, Rachel helped Felix grab his bags from the trunk while his parents checked the flight information near the entrance.

Felix quietly pulled his hoodie over his head, like somehow hiding inside it would keep him from completely falling apart.

Emotionally, he was already running on empty.

At this point, the only thing holding him together was pure momentum.

Some stupid, delusional part of his brain kept imagining his phone buzzing with a message from JYPE telling him they decided to go with someone else. That this had all been a misunderstanding. That he could just turn around, throw his bags back into Rachel’s car, and go home with you instead.

Prom was in two months.

Fuck.

Someone else was probably going to take you.

The thought hit so hard it made his chest ache.

You reached for his hand immediately, noticing the spiral before he even said anything out loud. Your thumb rubbed slow circles against his skin as you leaned down slightly, trying to catch his expression underneath the hood.

Your eyes met.

Both of you looked seconds away from crying again.

Around you, the airport moved loudly and endlessly. Rolling suitcases. Flight announcements. Families talking over each other.

Meanwhile Rachel had quietly distracted his grandparents near the curb while his parents handled check-in, deliberately giving the two of you a few extra moments alone.

“Don’t worry about me,” you said softly, trying your best to lighten the mood. “I’ll still be the same girl that destroyed you in Smash Bros.”

A weak laugh escaped Felix.

“Okay, first of all, you only won because you button mash.”

“That sounds like something a loser would say.”

He shook his head before suddenly pulling you into his chest.

Tightly.

Your cheek rested against his heartbeat while his arms wrapped around you like he was trying to memorize the feeling. You could smell his cologne mixed with laundry detergent and something that was just him.

And that was what finally broke you.

Tears slipped down your face quietly against his hoodie.

“And I’m still the same guy who beat you at least a few times,” Felix murmured, his own voice cracking now.

His hand slid gently through your curls before he pressed a lingering kiss against your forehead.

“I promise I’ll come back,” he whispered. “And I promise I’m not gonna forget you.”

Your chest hurt so badly you could barely breathe.

“This isn’t the last chapter of our story, Y/N.”

You nodded quickly before you completely lost it.

Felix glanced over his shoulder toward his family before gently pulling you toward a quieter corner near the windows away from the crowd.

And then he kissed you.

Deeply.

Desperately.

Like both of you were trying to say every single thing you didn’t know how to put into words.

You kissed him back instantly, your hands gripping the front of his hoodie while the rest of the airport seemed to disappear around you completely.

For a few seconds, it honestly felt like time froze.

Then—

“Korea Air flight to Seoul departing from Gate 37A will begin boarding shortly.”

Reality crashed back immediately.

“Yongbok!”

Felix heard his mother calling for him from across the terminal.

Both of you pulled apart too fast, breathing unevenly.

When you walked back over, his parents looked mildly confused by the flushed expressions and watery eyes, but everything was moving too quickly now for anyone to question it.

Rachel immediately wrapped her little brother in a tight hug.

“Hey,” she said quietly. “Stay focused, okay? You always do your best when you stop overthinking everything.”

Felix nodded against her shoulder.

“I’ll try.”

His grandparents hugged him next.

“I’m nervous for you, kid,” his grandmother admitted honestly, squeezing his hands. “But I think that’s just part of getting old.”

His grandfather gave him a firm pat on the back.

“You’re our only boy,” he said proudly. “Make us proud.”

Y/N suddenly felt the entire terminal start spinning slightly.

Jesus Christ.

I think I’m actually going to pass out.

Your spiral got interrupted when Felix pulled you into one final hug.

And this one lasted too long.

Long enough that people nearby started glancing over.

Neither of you cared.

“I’ll call you when I land,” Felix whispered against your hair. “I promise.”

You pulled back slowly before lifting your hand between you both.

The secret handshake.

The one you made together at twelve years old during sleepaway camp.

For the first time all morning, Felix laughed for real.

Small. Broken. But real.

He finished the handshake perfectly from memory.

Rachel quietly started guiding his grandparents back toward the exit while Felix forced himself to finally step away from you and catch up with his parents near security.

Even then, he kept looking back.

Again. And again. And again.

Y/N knew she should move.

Y/N knew standing there watching him disappear probably wasn’t helping anything.

But your body refused.

So you stayed there until he finally disappeared past security.

Only then did the emptiness hit.

Hard.

By the time Felix caught up with his parents in line, tears were already sliding visibly down his face while he silently pulled his electronics from his backpack.

“Felix, wha—”

His mother stopped mid-sentence the second she saw him.

“Mom, I’m fine,” he muttered quickly, wiping at his face in frustration. “It’s just been a really long day and it’s only like 10:30.”

“Lina,” his father whispered gently to her, “give him a second.”

She nodded quietly.

After security, the three of them eventually made it to the gate, but Felix barely registered any of it. He just sat there staring blankly at the runway, trying to process how his entire life had changed in less than three hours.

His mother disappeared briefly before returning with a bottle of Passiona and chips.

“Hey,” she said softly, holding it out toward him. “I got you this.”

Felix smiled instantly despite himself.

Moms always did that when they didn’t know what to say. They showed up with drinks. Fruit. Snacks. Little acts of love disguised as errands.

“Thanks, Mom,” he said quietly. “I’m gonna miss that.”

Her expression softened immediately.

“You have people waiting for you here,” she reminded him gently. “No matter how far away you go.”

Felix leaned forward and hugged her tightly.

A little while later, once he finally settled into his seat on the plane, exhaustion started settling over him like concrete.

The plane began taxiing slowly down the runway while some random song played faintly through his headphones.

He barely even registered what it was.

All he knew was that after the Passiona, after distracting himself with Smash on his Switch for 2 hours, after trying so hard to keep it together for everybody else—

the emotions finally caught up to him.

A tear landed against the screen.

Then another.

And suddenly there were quiet tear drops scattered across his Switch while Seoul waited for him on the other side of the sky.

Felix slipped past security and you just stood there.

You stood there long after his parents disappeared behind the checkpoint. Long after the line shifted forward and strangers filled the empty space where he had been only seconds ago. Your body felt frozen in place, like if you stayed there long enough he might suddenly come running back saying the flight got canceled. That JYPE changed their mind. That he wasn’t really leaving after all.

But the airport kept moving around you anyway.

Announcements echoed overhead. Suitcases rolled across the floor. Someone nearby laughed at something on their phone and the sound irritated you instantly. How was everyone acting normal right now when your chest still felt stuck at Gate 37A?

Eventually, you forced yourself to move. Every step toward the exit felt wrong somehow. Heavy. Like your body was walking away from something it wasn’t ready to lose yet.

Outside, cold air hit your face immediately. You looked around numbly for the nearest bus stop, hugging your bag tightly against your side while people rushed past you with coffees and luggage and normal lives.

Honk. Honk.

“Y/N! Get in!”

You looked over to see Rachel leaning halfway out the driver’s side window.

For a second, you almost cried again just because somebody had stopped for you.

“You sure?” you asked quietly as you walked toward the car. “It’s already like 10:30 and I know you probably have stuff to do—”

“Just get in the car,” Rachel cut in immediately in that loving older-sister tone that reminded you painfully of Felix.

You slid into the passenger seat quietly while Rachel pulled away from the curb.

“Our grandparents went to their swim lesson,” she explained casually. “And I don’t have class for a while anyway.”

You nodded faintly, staring out the window.

The city outside looked offensively normal. People crossing streets. Someone walking their dog. Couples holding coffee. Cars moving like today was just another Tuesday and not the day your chest felt hollowed out.

Rachel tried making small conversation at first. Little comments about Olivia probably already telling her classmates she had “airport trauma.” Asking if you ate today. Talking about traffic.

You answered enough not to seem rude, but honestly none of it was registering.

Your mind was still back at the airport replaying everything in fragments.

Felix fixing Olivia’s seatbelt.

Felix pulling his hood up so nobody would see him crying.

This isn’t the last chapter of our story.

Your stomach twisted painfully.

Then the radio changed songs.

Soft piano filled the car first.

And then—

“High dive into frozen waves…”

Your entire body locked up.

No.

Not this song.

Clarity by Zedd.

The karaoke song.

The same song Felix screamed dramatically into the microphone last week while pointing at you during the chorus because he knew you secretly knew every word too.

Your throat tightened instantly.

And suddenly all the “lasts” started hitting you at once.

Last karaoke night.

Last late-night gaming session.

Last hug.

Last kiss.

Last time hearing his laugh in person.

Last time sitting beside him in a car.

“Cause you are the piece of me…”

Your breathing cracked.

Because for the first time all day it fully hit you that he wasn’t coming back next week.

There was no “see you tomorrow.”

No random texts asking if you were awake.

No prom together.

No spring.

No summer.

Just distance.

“Hey…” Your voice came out strained. “Can we change the station?”

Rachel glanced over once before quietly turning the radio off completely.

But the silence somehow made it worse.

Because now the song kept replaying in your head anyway.

The tears came before you could stop them. Silent at first. Then suddenly not silent at all.

“Y/N—”

Rachel immediately pulled the car onto a quieter side street and parked.

You covered your face with both hands, embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” you choked out. “I’m trying so hard not to do this right now.”

“Hey.” Rachel turned toward you fully. “Look at me for a second.”

You shook your head immediately.

“Yes you can,” she said gently. “Match my breathing.”

Rachel took your hand and started breathing slowly until your breathing finally started evening out enough for you to actually inhale properly again.

“I’m fine,” you lied weakly afterward. “I have to be.”

“You don’t.”

“I do,” you said faster this time, frustrated now. “I can’t keep falling apart every time someone leaves me.”

The silence afterward felt heavy.

Because that was the real thing underneath all of this.

Not just Felix.

Your mom. Faith. Hana. Your dad checking out emotionally years ago.

Now Felix too.

Another person becoming someone you missed instead of someone you had.

Rachel’s expression softened instantly.

“I know,” she said quietly.

You laughed shakily through tears, wiping at your face. “This is actually so embarrassing.”

“It’s really not.”

“Yes it is. He’s not dead, he just went to korea. Meanwhile I’m in here acting like somebody widowed me at 18”

Rachel snorted softly despite herself. “To be fair, you and Felix have always been dramatic.”

That earned the tiniest laugh out of you.

“Seriously,” Rachel continued, glancing over as she leaned against the steering wheel. “Do you know how insane it was growing up around you two? One minor inconvenience and suddenly it was like watching the season finale of a K-drama.”

You covered your face again, laughing and crying at the same time now. “Oh my god, shut up.”

“I’m serious,” Rachel said, grinning faintly now. “One time you both lost a Mario Kart tournament and Felix deadass sat on the porch staring into space for like forty minutes while you kept saying ‘nothing feels real anymore.’ You were thirteen.”

Another laugh escaped you through the tears.

And somehow that almost hurt worse.

Because now all you could think about was how easy things used to feel back then. Before grief. Before distance. Before growing up turned everything fragile.

Then Rachel reached over and pulled you into a quick hug across the center console.

“What you had with him was real,” she said quietly. “And you don’t have to pretend it wasn’t”

Your chest tightened all over again.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” you asked quietly.

Rachel looked genuinely confused by the question.

“Because I care about you,” she answered simply. “And because he’s not here now. Somebody has to make sure you’re okay.”

That almost made you cry again.

Rachel started the car back up a second later.

“Also,” she added casually, “I’m not taking you to school anymore.”

You blinked. “What?”

“I’m taking you to home.”

“Rachel, I can push through—”

“My B.S are tingling..,” she interrupted immediately. “And they’re telling me you’re about three seconds away from emotionally combusting in public”

Despite everything, another broken laugh escaped you.

A few minutes later, Rachel pulled into your grandmother’s driveway.

And as you stepped out of the car, one awful realization finally settled fully into your chest.

There were no more countdowns left now.

Felix was gone.

In the quiet of your room, the noise of the entire day finally faded away.

No airport announcements. No car engines. No people talking around you. No one asking questions or telling you to be strong.

Just silence.

And somehow, that silence made everything worse.

Because now there was nothing distracting you from the empty feeling sitting in your chest.

Deep down, you knew Felix was alive. Safe. Breathing somewhere over the Pacific Ocean right now. This wasn’t death. It wasn’t permanent.

But your body didn’t seem to understand the difference.

The ache felt terrifyingly familiar. Too close to the feeling you had after your mom died. That same awful hollow sensation like the world had kept moving while you got emotionally left behind somewhere.

You changed slowly into the oversized pajamas Felix had left at your house months ago and never bothered taking back. They still smelled faintly like his detergent and cologne. The second the fabric settled against your skin, your throat tightened again.

You crawled into bed and opened Crunchyroll, letting old episodes of Yu Yu Hakusho play quietly in the background. Something familiar. Something safe. You and Felix used to stay up way too late watching it together, half paying attention while arguing over characters and eating snacks at three in the morning.

Now the voices from the TV just made the room feel emptier.

Ding.

Your eyes drifted toward your phone.

Faith: Hey are you home? I know we haven’t really talked since the party but i know he left today and im really worried about you… I love you regardless and i just wanna be there for u. You’re still my best friend.

You stared at the message for a long moment.

After everything that happened at the party, after the distance and tension and judgment lingering between you both, part of you still expected resentment. Awkwardness. Maybe even silence.

But right now you were too emotionally exhausted to hold onto pride.

At this point, you just needed someone.

Y/N: thanks yea im home. Rachel’s orders lol. She said i was too emotional to go to school. For what its worth… I’m really sorry about that night and i love and miss u too bestie

The typing bubble appeared almost instantly.

Faith: I miss u too and tbh I was harsh that night too. Hey let me know if you need me to come over or if you need a girls night or something

Your chest tightened a little reading that.

Y/N: not today but maybe soon. I’m really tired so i kinda just wanna turn my brain off

Faith: okay. I’ll check in later. Please take care of yourself.

You smiled weakly before the emotion faded again just as fast.

The only other thing you had enough energy for was texting Hana that you made it home safely.

Then you turned your phone onto Do Not Disturb.

Curled under the blankets, you pulled the stupid bunny plush Felix won for you closer against your chest and stared at the last selfie you took together in Rachel’s car only hours ago. Puffy eyes. Forced smiles. His head leaning against yours like maybe proximity alone could stop time.

Your vision blurred again.

The TV kept playing quietly in the background while tears slid silently into the pillow beneath your face.

God.

You missed him already.

____________________________________________________

This is nearing the end. Only two more parts. I really do hope yall enjoy it

[minyoongi-ah]

Yoongi as a museum curator (or when Yoongi gives us a fanfic prompt)

[yonglixx]

Felix x Adidas originals Korea on instagram 🖤

[hyunpic]

hyunjin @ the guess pop-up [room 1981]

[yonglixx]

260425✈️

[sturnaisa-deactivated20260531]

“y you're treating me like that?”

(agnst! with a comforting ending)

where you apply the silent treatment and indifference to Hyunjin after seeing a trend on the internet, just to see how he would react.

“and I thought it would be colder there, but I was actually quite bundled up…”, he says about the trip to Iceland, looking around to better remember. you were fiddling with your phone, he continued.

“… and then we went to the mountain peak, to see the other side. it was really cool.”

a hum was all your response. that's when he looked at you, trying to understand that reaction.

“am I talking too much?” he asked.

“no, keep talking. I'm listening.”

he moistened his lips and tried to continue his train of thought, his throat closing up a little. “okay… so… we climbed the mountain, and what was there was more snow, a lot of snow. you could even get lost there if you walked too far, you know?”

you ignored him again.

“and then…”, his voice trailed off. In his mind, you were just tired, but… was that indifference really necessary? you sighed, no, he shouldn't demand anything from you. you should have your reasons.

“babe, listen,” he decided to just call you. you looked up, and he calmed down, thinking he finally had some of your attention. “so, we started going back down, because we’d already seen everything and wanted to eat something, and then I said, ‘why don’t we order—’”

you let out a long sigh.

he glared at you. his mouth closed and he looked down. his stomach was churning inside.

“and?” you urged him to continue.

“why are you treating me like this?”

“what? I’m treating you normally… just keep talking, go on.” you went back to your phone, thinking he’d let it go again, but then you started hearing him sniffling and immediately had to check.

his eyes were already red and full of tears, even though he was wiping them away.

“for sake…” he grumbled. because obviously he didn't want to cry, much less for you to see him.

you immediately changed your posture: “babe, calm down! it was a joke! I was just teasing you!”

“teasing, yeah right,” he sniffed, his little nose red.

you laughed, but more out of nervousness. “it's true! I wasn't ignoring you on purpose... it was a trend.”

“oh, it was a trend, good,”, he said sarcastically, “that's a relief, you weren't being a jerk for no reason, there was a context.”

you laughed. “babe...”

he frowned. “I never do that to you! and you treat me like this, for sake...”

“it was a joke, forgive me.”

he stared at you, his pout appearing.

“please,” you begged.

he sighed, becoming calmer. “okay, I forgive you. but stop doing these things, it's not funny.”

you gave a small smile, one hundred percent less unbalanced because your relationship hadn't ended. Hyunjin had a lot of patience, thankfully.

“I won't do that again, I promise.”

“that's good.”

then you hung up the phone and positioned yourself better, showing that you were finally giving him your full attention. “go on, continue, I'm listening now.”

he sniffled a little, “okay, where was I?”

“that you guys were going to eat something and you suggested sushi.”

“yeah... wait, I hadn't mentioned the sushi part yet.”

“it's just that I know it's your favorite food, duh.”

he looked at you, then smiled. you won back all your points right there. “yeah, true. anyway, so I...”

[jung-koook]

jin’s reaction to tae asking armys to date him lmaoooooo (cr. movewithsope)

[euphoricdr3ams]

Untitled (13/16)

What happens when your best friend stops acting like a friend right before he’s supposed to leave forever? Between off-key singing and a recording I’m not ready to delete, Felix and Y/N finally crossed the line we’ve been dancing around for years. Now, wrapped in the quiet intimacy of your room, the reality of his training is the only thing louder than my own heart. He’s going for his dreams, and You're just trying to survive the goodbye. Our song is ending, and You're not ready for the silence.

genres: written, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst,unrequited love, senior year (highschool), felix and Y/N are aged up to 17, pre-debut

Trigger Warning: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Protected Sex, Cursing, Underaged Drinking, mentions of weed

Word count: 2,313

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 14

If anyone else had been in the room with you and Felix, they probably would have said you took the fun out of karaoke. Less than ten minutes in and the two of you already had your usual songs loaded, fingers moving with the kind of familiarity that didn’t need discussion. The timer had barely started when you picked up the mic and swayed on your feet, the opening notes of Call Me Maybe spilling through the neon-lit room.

Felix laughed as he flipped through the song book. He didn’t even look surprised. “I love how they don’t bother explaining to us the equipment anymore,” he said. “They know we’re not here to waste time.”

“Exactly,” you replied, singing a line before pulling the mic away. “I paid for two hours. I’m using every second.”

He moved closer on the couch, close enough that your knees brushed. The room was small in the way karaoke rooms always were, designed to trap sound and people together. The LED lights shifted lazily between pink and blue, reflecting off mirrored walls. Felix watched you more than the screen, warmth radiating from you, filling the space until it felt smaller, softer.

He grabbed his mic and jumped in for the last chorus, deliberately off-key just to make you laugh. You bumped into him as you danced, shoulder to shoulder, bodies moving without thinking.

Then the screen changed.

Into You by Ariana Grande.

You froze and looked at him. “Really?”

Felix didn’t look away from the screen. “What?”

“This one?” you asked, eyebrows raised. “You sure it’s not too high for you?”

He finally turned to you, rolling his eyes. “Don’t doubt me.”

The beat started slow and heavy, settling into the room like something that didn’t belong to jokes or half-serious teasing. Felix lifted the mic and began to sing, quieter than usual, controlled in a way you hadn’t heard before. The hostess slipped in with fruit and water, set it down, and left again, unnoticed.

You didn’t join in this time. You just watched.

Felix felt your attention settle on him fully, and it made his chest tighten. The lights were low enough to hide the flush creeping up his neck, the way the lyrics suddenly felt too accurate. Singing it was one thing. Meaning it, even a little, was another.

By the time the song ended, the room felt different. Charged. Like the air had shifted and forgotten how to settle back into place.

You stared at him, mic lowered. “Wow.”

“Stop,” he muttered, already embarrassed.

“No,” you said, stepping closer without realizing it. “Yongbok, I’m serious. I had no idea.”

He laughed under his breath. “Should I start charging for private concerts now?”

“Don’t get cocky,” you smiled. “But don’t doubt yourself either.”

Felix swallowed and nodded. “This next one’s for us.”

Locked Out of Heaven filled the room, and this time you didn’t hesitate. You grabbed his hand and pulled him up, laughing as you sang, both of you loud and unpolished, bodies moving freely. You jumped, spun, screamed lyrics into the mic, the kind of carefree chaos that only came from being young and not thinking past the next second.

When you stumbled, Felix caught you, his hands steady at your waist. He didn’t let go right away.

The next songs blurred together. Lucky. Love Scenario. Teenage Dream. You shared mics, voices overlapping, standing closer each time. At some point, Felix brushed your hair back so you could read the screen better. Later, you leaned briefly against his shoulder between verses, neither of you commenting on it.

It felt easy. Too easy.

“Oh my god,” you laughed as the timer blinked. “Last song.”

Felix skipped through the queue quickly. “No. Our song.”

“Our song?” you teased. “That narrows it down.”

He hummed the beat before it even started, and you already knew. You set your phone down without saying a word.

He sang first, voice soft and steady. You answered, stepping closer as the lyrics traded places between you. By the second chorus, his hand found yours. Tentative at first, then firm. He pulled you in without asking, and you let him.

You sang the last lines facing each other, voices weaving together, foreheads nearly touching. Felix’s arm slipped around your waist like it belonged there. You leaned into him instinctively, finishing the song together.

When the music cut, neither of you moved.

The room was quiet except for your breathing.

You looked up at him and kissed him, slow and deliberate, not thinking past the moment. Felix kissed you back immediately, hands tightening like he’d been waiting. There were no jokes, no apologies, no awkwardness. Just heat and closeness and something unspoken pressing between you.

When you pulled back, you were both smiling, breathless.

You stopped the recording with unsteady hands.

“Hey,” you said softly. “Did you wanna come by for a bit?”

Felix didn’t hesitate. “Yeah. I’m not ready to go back yet.”

You gathered your things and left the room together, the echo of music still buzzing in your ears, both of you pretending this was just karaoke and not something you’d remember long after everything else faded.

____________________________________________________________________________

There was something about this time that carried more weight than the last time Felix was over at your house—your real home, where you were able to be yourself and just breathe. Imperfections and all. He accepted all those parts of you, and it felt amazing. The casual banter didn't stop even as you both traded your outside clothes for the worn-out comfort of 'house clothes'—the kind of routine that felt way too permanent to be ending soon. Felix slipped into his spare shorts and shirt he would leave here all the time. Seeing him like this, with his soft black hair and freckles, was always so warm and welcoming. But this time, there was a quiet heaviness sitting underneath it all.

Damn. This is probably the last time.

“Hey, any of your stuff that’s here—send me the info if you can, and I’ll make sure you get it when you get there.”

“What’s got you thinking about that?” Felix let out a small laugh. “I’m not worried about my stuff that’s here. I’ll need it for when I come back to visit.”

You nodded, but didn’t respond right away. Part of you both was severely underestimating the amount of work you would be under soon and how limited communication might be. You were both holding onto the memory—or, dare you say, the delusion—that you’d be able to stay in touch the way you currently do right now.

“Yeah, but just in case,” you said finally. “It might be a while, you know.” You sat on the bed, turning on the TV and putting on Crunchyroll, letting the familiar sounds fill the space between you. “Besides, you’re staying with your aunt for a bit anyway. She can hold onto it for you?”

“Yeah… but I don’t wanna think about that,” Felix muttered as he sat down next to you, closer than he needed to. “I’m still believing that I’ll be back to visit everyone. Especially you.”

You let out a small breath, glancing over at him.

“What about Mike and everyone else? Olivia, Rachel… come on. I know we’re close, but there are other people in your life besides me.”

“Yeah, I’ll miss them,” he said, pausing like he wasn’t sure how to finish the thought. “But… you are my safe space. It’s just… different with us. I can’t explain it.”

You didn’t respond right away. Instead, you looked at him for a second too long—long enough to feel the shift in the air. Your chest tightened, and you broke eye contact first, turning back toward the TV. In the back of your head, there had been nagging thoughts for a while now about what the fuck was even going on here. Sometimes it was just friends, and other times… it wasn’t. Sometimes you could almost imagine a version of this where you were able to remove the extra “F” from BFF with you and Felix. You took a slow breath and clicked on Shippuden before he could say anything else.

Somewhere under the noise of the TV, Felix pulled you into a familiar position—your head resting on his chest, his arm wrapped loosely around you. It happened so naturally neither of you questioned it. That same pattern. The one he knew he shouldn’t have. He stared at the screen, jaw tightening slightly, able to practically hear the voices in the back of his head telling him to stop—his sisters, his own thoughts, everything warning him that this wasn’t something he could keep. But he didn’t move. He couldn’t. Because this, right here, felt too good to let go of.

After a while, he exhaled slowly. “It’s just gonna be… a lot.”

You tilted your head slightly to look up at him. You grip his hand tighter. “Training?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Like… I don’t think I’ll have my phone much. Or at all sometimes.” He let out a quiet, humorless laugh. “They’re kinda strict.”

You swallowed. “So you’re just gonna disappear on me….”

“I didn’t say that,” he said quickly, tightening his arm around you without thinking. “I’ll text when I can. Call you. I’m not just gonna—” He stopped himself, his voice softening. “I’m not just gonna go ghost…”

You nodded slowly, even though something in your chest didn’t settle. “Okay.”

For your sanity, you were hoping he isn’t lying about that. Your heart is heavy after the loss of your mom. Hana isn't here anymore. Faith has her other friends. Your circle is closing in on itself and it's scary. Very fucking scary. 

The room fell quiet again, filled only by the sound of the TV. Felix stared at the screen, but he wasn’t really watching anymore. “I’ve been checking Reddit and stuff,” he admitted after a moment. “Just seeing what it’s like.”

“And?” you asked, shifting slightly but staying close to him.

He hesitated before answering. “It’s intense. People drop out all the time. Or get cut. Or just… burn out.” He paused again, his hand tightening slightly against your arm. “I just don’t want to mess this up.”

You frowned. “This?”

He let out a breath. “Everything. This… and the training. And my mom. She sacrificed so much, you know? I can’t just… fail.” His voice wavered just enough to give him away.

You pushed yourself up so you could face him more fully. “Hey,” you said softly. “You’re not gonna fail.”

He gave you a small, uncertain smile. “You don’t know that.”

“I do,” you insisted, even though your voice wasn’t as steady as you wanted it to be. The truth was, you didn’t—and that scared you more than anything. Still, you pushed forward. “This is what you want. You should do this. Go all in. Don’t second guess yourself now.”

Each word felt heavier than the last, like you were forcing them out against something inside you that wanted to say the opposite.

Felix watched you carefully, like he could see right through it. “…Yeah,” he said quietly. “I just get in my head sometimes.”

“I know,” you said.

A small silence followed. Your fingers found his hand again, intertwining with his without thinking.

“When you’re there…” you started, your voice trailing off as the thought caught in your throat.

He looked at you. “What?”

You froze, the real question sitting right there, ready to come out. Are you going to forget about me? But you swallowed it down.

“Nothing,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “It’s stupid.”

“Hey,” he said softly, squeezing your hand. “It’s not stupid.”

You forced a small smile. “It is.”

Another pause settled between you, heavier this time. Felix leaned forward slightly, resting his forehead against yours.

“Don’t do anything dumb while I’m not around,” he said, trying to lighten the mood, though his voice still felt fragile.

You let out a quiet laugh. “I’ll try. No promises.”

“Wow,” he muttered.

“Don’t go out there getting an inflated ego when you make it big,” you added, nudging him lightly.

“I won’t,” he said immediately. “What matters is here. The people who were with me from the beginning.” He looked at you more seriously now. “You were one of them.”

Your chest tightened at that. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a hug that lasted longer than it should have. Neither of you let go right away.

When you finally pulled back, you reached up and wiped the tear from the corner of his eye, your hand lingering there for a second longer than necessary. Then you leaned in.

The kiss was slower this time, softer—like both of you were trying to memorize it. Felix’s hands came up to hold your face, steadying you as he kissed you back, deeper now but still careful, like if he moved too fast, it would break something. You melted into it, letting yourself feel all of it—the warmth, the closeness, him.

Fuck. I’m going to miss this.

When you pulled away, your foreheads stayed pressed together, your breaths still uneven.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Lix,” you whispered.

“I’m going to miss you too,” he said quietly. “…I wish things were different...”

“Me too,” you breathed. “But I’m really grateful for what we have.”

“I don’t regret a single moment.”

“Me either.”

You settled back against him, resting your head on his chest again, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. For a while, neither of you said anything, neither of you moved—like if you stayed like this long enough, time wouldn’t keep going.

Sleep came slowly, reluctantly. And somewhere in the back of your mind, there was a quiet thought you tried not to focus on—

If I fall asleep… this is over.

_____________________________________________________________

sorry that took so long... Hope yall enjoy :D the next parts should be easier for me to write also FYI this is ending sooon drop a message on yall thoughts cuz this story has been an emotional roller coaster for me to put together

[jung-koook]

I love him so much 🤧

[kpoptionate]

tw | toxic relationship

[21:09] you wish time would just stop for even a minute. let you collect yourself and your thoughts and actually be able to choke up words to say to him. but it’s not like he’d listen, anyway. talking to hyunjin is like talking to a child. he doesn’t actually listen. just waits until you finish speaking so he can get a word in again.

but it’s because you let him, you suppose. you’ve always been so lenient with him. never raising your voice in fear of getting him mad enough for him to leave. sure, he’s pissed you off plenty of times, but you try to keep it to yourself to avoid any arguments. arguments with hyunjin never end well.

he’s loud. you could be screaming at the top of your lungs but somehow he always finds a way to overpower your voice, as if somehow being louder means he’s right.

he’s stubborn. he doesn’t care if you have tears streaming down your cheeks. you could blatantly tell him exactly how to change to avoid the situation again or to just fucking listen to you for two seconds. but he’s too prideful to lose. his mind isn’t gonna change; you might as well give up now.

but worst of all, he’s victimizing. it doesn’t matter whether or not it was actually him in the wrong. it’s never his fault. you could have done better to avoid the situation. you should be the one who’s sorry.

so you apologize. over and over and over until he finally throws his hands up and says something like “whatever, i’ll be back later” and leaves you in tears in the living room and doesn’t come back until the morning.

but he always comes back with snacks and flowers and games and movie tickets with red, puffy eyes and an embarrassed apology and you forgive him without hesitation because the hyunjin from last night isn’t the hyunjin he is. i just got caught up in the heat of the moment, he says. you know i didn’t mean it. it won’t happen again.

and you always believe him. because when you truly love someone, you’re willing to look over a bad quality or two to keep them there.

it won’t happen again, you think. because when you truly love someone, you’re willing to change a bad quality or two to keep them there.

but he doesn’t truly love you. he just likes the thought of it, is all. but you’re too far in to be able to make that connection.

not like he’d ever let you, anyway.

[hyunchans]

changbin after hyunjin's kiss

[greywritesthings]

Slow

Lee Minho x f!reader

CW - dom!minho , sub!reader , intox (weed) , blindfolds , oral (f rec) , choking , edging , unprotected PinV , dacryphillia, kitty as a nn, probably more

A/n - it’s filthy xx

Masterlist

“Shh jagi” Minho murmurs beside you, running a hand down your arm to soothe you and taking the smoking joint from your lips easily.

“Be good for me hm? Settle down.” He’s doesn’t give any room for argument, taking a drag before turning your head so you were facing him and pressing his mouth against yours.

Smoke leaves his mouth as you inhale, relaxing further in his hold as he wanted. He rewards you gently, the hand running down your arm slipping under your sweater like it had a million times before.

“Want you min.” You whine against him when he pulls away but he doesn’t give you anything more than a smirk. “Please sir.” You whine again, this time pawing at his collar.

“Easy, settle and I’ll give you what you want, my needy kitty.” He smiles at you as he leans back down to kiss you.

This time it starts soft and quickly turns heated, Minho exploring your mouth as if it was the first time. You let his hands feel across your body, gasping into him when he rolls your nipples between his fingers.

“So responsive, my pretty girl.” His voice sends heat to your core as he moves down towards your neck, trailing kisses as he goes. You don’t notice the way your breath catches and quickens, the weed making your mind too foggy to do anything you weren’t instructed.

“Easy baby, I’m right here, it’s all a little much hm?” Minho could read you like a book, he knew what you needed without you having to say a word.

When the familiar feeling of the blindfold settles on your eyes you nod, letting him tie it around your head. You can’t help the sound you make when he pulls away, now unable to see him.

“I’m still here.” He murmurs, proving his point when he shifts himself between your legs, unzipping your hoodie to give himself more access.

You shift your hips impatiently but he keeps you pinned in place easily. “Be patient kitty, I know what you need.” You know he does, he always does. So you do your best, sinking further into your soft bed as he gets closer to where you need him most.

He teases as always, kissing and licking over your thin panties, locking his arms under your legs to keep them apart.

Soon enough he gets impatient, tearing away the soaked fabric to get full access to your pussy. “Good girl, such a good girl for me hm?” He talks against you, causing you to moan softly.

He doesn’t wait any longer, licking a stripe through your folds then quickly pushing his tongue in your hole.

He’s quick to work you up to the edge, every touch and flick of his tongue calculated, you were too fucked out already to do anything but moan and grip his hair.

You were so close, pulling his hair harder when he slowly curled a finger inside you, then two. Curling them in time with his licks to your clit. “Please min, so close.” You beg, tears soaking through the fabric on your eyes.

All too abruptly he pulls away, hands running down to your ankles as he sits up on the bed, making you cry out in frustration as your orgasm fades away. “Aw my poor kitty.” He says, you can hear his expression as he talks.

His hands leave you entirely for a moment, then you feel him untying the wrap over your eyes and pressing himself back over you.

“Open your pretty eyes for me hm jagi.” He says, pressing kisses where the tears fall. “Be good and you’ll get everything you want pretty.”

You open your eyes. “Please, please sir.” You beg softly, eyes rolling back in your head when he presses his hard length against your slit.

“I know kitty, I know. Here, be good.” He places the joint between his own lips, taking a long drag as he grinds himself down onto you. He quickly takes another, this time pressing his lips to yours for you to take.

You let him guide you, letting him use your body for what he wants. You press your hips up when his tip finally teases your entrance, moaning into his mouth when he slowly slides in.

“Good girl, such a good girl for me.” He pulls away, pressing kisses into your neck when you bare it for him. “Such a pretty girl hm, all mine.” He moans against your skin, slowly pulling out before pushing back inside.

He sets a pace that has you crying all over again, tears falling as he kisses them away. “Fuck, sir! So good.” You cry as he reaches a hand between you to rub small quick circles against your clit.

“Don’t cum untill I say, be a good girl for me.” He says, feeling the way your pussy tightens around him signalling you were close to the edge again.

He keeps going like that as your body spasms underneath him, he smirks when you beg, giving a harder thrust each time. “Cum with me, be a good girl and cum with me kitty.” He says, biting over your breasts before pulling a nipple into his mouth.

It’s then you fall over the edge, orgasm washing over you all too quickly. You’re vaguely aware of your cries as Minho fucks you through it, spilling his seed inside you.

“Good girl, such a pretty girl for me that’s it hm, doing so good for me.” He praises you, sucking hickeys against your neck.

He slows down, staying inside you as he collapses on to you, gently rolling you both over so you were settled on his chest. “Did so good for me kitty, such a beautiful girl for me.” He whispers into your ear, smoothing your hair down gently.

[hyunpic]