This is all.

I'm not crying you're crying sup function showInfluensterWidget(data){ document.getElementById('influenster-widget-container').innerHTML = data.widget_html; }

[nick-avallone]

i adore my mom beyond words but i have to mom-shame her for always doing this to me 

[nick-avallone]

so i showed my mom the post hahaha 

[galaxy-lives]

this is the most wholesome and entertaining mom post on tumblr

[stevonnie-archive]

if i ever get another chinchilla i will name him vinny the chin after the former mafia crime boss who once held me as a baby

[stevonnie-archive]

ok i might not have been directly in the arms of vinny the chin himself now that i think about it but basically what happened is that my mom had been following his trials when it was going on back in the late 90′s and like. she was on this flight that also fuckin happened to be transporting this mob boss to his next trial so like there were a bunch of mafia people on this plane with him and my mother was like “holy shit, it’s vinny the chin” and she literally started?? talking to these mafia guys. and she had to run to the bathroom and for some reason was like “can you watch my kid for me for a second” so my mom left me with the mafia. and she kind of? didn’t think about it? and realized fully what she had done as she was washing her hands so she like runs back out and i was fine. they were playing with me and i was laughing. i think it made the news. anyway that’s the story of how baby me enamored a bunch of mobsters

[stevonnie-archive]

my mom found the article AND the boarding pass from that specific plane trip… i didn’t realize he was literally on his way to prison… i’m crying… anyway, this is the proof behind the text post. i’m the baby

[omgthatdress]

I am so obsessed with this post you guys have no idea.

and let’s admit it

through an unlikely series of events, a bunch of mobsters are left in charge of looking after a baby is the greatest 90s comedy never made.

[pr1nceshawn]

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

[hiddlesherethereeverywhere]

THIS IS IMPORTANT 

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is. 

[titenoute]

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

[lovefortv]

[16363662766946369-deactivated20]

[juuulin-deactivated20180102]

@3oudreaux

[vinegalore]

[chongoblog]

This is a holy video. Reblog it to be free of any curses and/or to have a nice video on your blog

[riveguez-deactivated20221202]

I peed

[petitebabyslut]

Skai Jackson // Paper Magazine (2016)

[captaincream]

He need some milk

[imsoshive]

Lmfao

[fiercedeception]

He went straight to God

[fairytailfrazier]

Somebody get him medical attention

[onceuponalittleliar]

I ugly laughed

[kittyyzma-deactivated20200123]

IM DEAD. SHE BROKE HIS NECK FAM

[ajleenation99-deactivated202111]

SHE FUCKING KILLED HIM

[kittyyzma-deactivated20200123]

Reblogging again cause she slapped the dog shit outta him

[tastefullyoffensive]

[f-a-ll-i-n-g]

so... like... I sent my rent check out more than two weeks ago and it still hadn’t been cashed. I got worried. I emailed the list agent about my worries, since, like, I’m trying to pay rent on time and that should be pretty simple. She gives me his address again, but this time a different apartment number! SO I made very sure to confirm multiple times what the real apartment number is while stressing that I sent it out to the address SHE provided to me.

Basically, my landlord’s agent gave me a very slightly wrong address and no one has contacted me asking why I haven’t paid September’s rent yet. I sent it over two weeks ago, haven’t gotten any returned mail, the money is still in my account, and I have no clue where the check is. 

Don’t you think someone should have called or emailed me, like “hey mariah, are you ever going to pay rent?”

what the shit

I’m already an anxious person do NOT DO THIS TO ME

I JUST HUNG ART UP ON MY WALLS I CAN’T GET KICKED OUT

[ishawaii]

[awesomevines]

[almightyslaaavs]

“He just wit em look” This is so innocent and pure

[endlessyuji]

@iverbz

[iverbz]

Literally one of my favorite recorded experiences in the entire universe.

[f-a-ll-i-n-g]

that time I went to a club to see a celebrity DJ

[fuckyeahsamdesantiss-blog-blog]

[dangerbabegang]

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

 can opener

[spork-of-humanity]

Reblog to literally save a life

[hipsandheartbreak]

if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles

Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.

[digitalintimacy-deactivated2018]

my mom might’ve raised an emotionally vacant child with severe depression and anxiety but she didn’t raise a quitter

[natalia-james-deactivated201807]

Projeto Identidade is a Brazilian project idealized by Noemia Oliveira and Orlando Caldeira. The project raises the question of the black representation in pop culture.

[angreav]

BEAUTIFUL!!!