“Gabe wasn’t abusive enough”
as a victim of abuse myself, everyone complaining that Gabe is not ''abusive enough'' makes me SO fucking enraged. just because we don't see sally limping with a black eye while blood is rushing down her face, it does not mean she's not abused. one thing that is extremely important to recognize when it comes to abuse is that abuse can manifest in various forms -> including emotional, psychological, verbal, and financial abuse and even many more. it is not always visible or easily identifiable. abuse leaves scars that aren't always visible to the naked eye. stop pretending it is always black and white.
now to Gabe
-> he is financially abusive: he is unemployed and seemingly devoid of any inclination towards responsibility. he shamelessly exploits Sally's hard-earned money and so, her efforts to secure a stable financial future for herself and Percy are callously disregarded as Gabe channels those funds into a destructive vortex of gambling.
-> he is verbally abusive to Percy: he always belittles him, undermining his self-esteem and sense of worth. Percy is barely twelve, living in a world that was not crafted for him, and he is trying to come to terms with that and there is Gabe, taking advantage of that. the psychological impact of Gabe's actions goes beyond mere verbal jabs; it seeps into the very fabric of Percy's self-concept. if you want to believe it or not.
-> he is okay with physical abuse: when Percy mentions he got kicked out for ´´assaulting a girl´´, instead of the expected concern or guidance everyone would expect from a normal person, Gabe's response is a simple yet chilling "okay," delivered with an almost impressed and approving tone. rather than condemning the use of physical force, Gabe's indifferent response basically indicates that he too would be okay with it and that perhaps, Percy's house isn't the safe place he thought it would be. (which we know is true, if you have read the books)
-> he is mentally abusive: HE answered Sally’s phone and spoke to the principal at Yancy. Gabe, ever the puppeteer, attempted //again// to extend his pathetic influence by seeking to control not only the household dynamics but also the very upbringing of Sally's son.
-> coercive control: Gabe is exerting control over the family's mobility by dictating access to the car. by making Sally negotiate, Gabe is asserting dominance and creating an environment where Sally feels compelled to seek his permission for everyday activities.
-> neglect: believe it or not, but failing to provide basic needs, including emotional support, is a form of abuse. Gabe's complete disregard for Percy's well-being is neglectful and abusive. period.
-> and I cannot believe that twelve year old Percy saw the red flags before some of you all -- who are grown adults -- did. Percy's recognition of the subtle manipulation tactics employed by Gabe literally showcase the emotional intelligence and observational skills that children can only develop when navigating difficult circumstances (shoutout to my psychology class).
and also, fuck you. what is abusive enough to you? as a survivor of abuse, I find this idea so fucking deeply troubling. what exactly constitutes 'abusive enough' to you? is it only valid if there's kicking or punching involved? let me be clear: abuse isn't just about physical violence. it is such a complex issue with many facets - emotional manipulation, verbal degradation, financial control, and psychological torment are all forms of abuse that can leave lasting scars. by suggesting Gabe needs to be 'more abusive,' you're unintentionally trivializing the experiences of countless abuse survivors whose abusers never laid a hand on them. this often prevents victims from seeking help. many abuse survivors struggle with self-doubt, wondering if their experiences 'count' because they don't match the extreme portrayals often seen in media. abuse isn't a spicy sauce you can just keep adding to until it burns. it’s not a competition to see who can be the most horrible human being possible. also how exactly are you measuring here? do you have a handy little scale? oh, he only emotionally devastated her today. that’a like, a 3 out of 10 on the abuse-o-meter. needs more punching!' Newsflash: abuse isn't some kind of a spectator sport. it’s not here for your entertainment or to meet your arbitrary standards of 'enough.'
so you know what? I think TV shows need more representation like this. the portrayal of Gabe as an abuser who initially appears harmless and quite stupid aligns with the reality of many abusive relationships because contrary to popular perceptions, abuse doesn't always manifest in blatant physical aggression or explicit threats. more often than not, it takes on subtler forms, such as psychological, emotional, or financial manipulation (as I already mentioned).
and I am so proud that the show chose this narrative path because it sheds light on the less-discussed aspects of abuse. in my opinion, the show proves to be a valuable resource by deviating from conventional tropes in its portrayal. victims often hesitate to seek help when their experiences deviate from the expected narrative, and bystanders may struggle to recognize the more subtle aspects of abuse, perpetuating a culture of silence and impunity for abusers. so good job to the percy jackson directors, you got my respect. <3
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