Sh@rkAtt@ck

I'll knock you out, throw you off the road. Steal your shoes from off your feet. I'm the higwayman, and I make ends meet

[jeaniefranklins]

they found the bigfoot

[buzzfeed]

“The Golden Girls” had the best one-liners.

[thecommonchick]

[disneystheweekenders]

Some Ms. Tonitini awesomeness for your dashboard!

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

Ms. Tonitini is the mom I strive to be

[bepeu-deactivated20171202]

you ever been so stressed that youre calm

[gordacrybaby-deactivated2017090]

this is my constant state

my chill is fake

[pungent-petrichor]

“How are you so calm?!” “I’ve passed beyond stressed, beyond hysteria, into the grey misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency services in my brain.”

[fantasaurus]

me as an airline pilot

me over the intercom: do you guys like me

[ruinedchildhood]

[holland-roden]

‘It doesn’t take an intellectual to get that I am bisexual.’

[magic-mikes]

[skylofty]

His facial expression changes really quickly…

[the-legend-of-zelda-series]

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ “See ya in a few Zelda.”

(◣_◢) “Dat bitch Ganon gonna die!”

0 to 100 real quick

[noelbadgespugh]

🌵

[bob-belcher]

[baetology]

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

[bumblebeebats]

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

[deacrivateddd]

my biggest pet peeve is when I call a boy pretty and about six people have their necks swivel all the way around on their shoulders exorcist style just to tell me that boys aren’t pretty they’re handsome

[threefootroo]

[gael-garcia]

[cursedwateringcan]

Tactic: When people ask what your five year plan is but you don’t have one, just respond with your five year plan for whatever Harvest Moon game you’re playing.

“My five year plan? Get the house renovations finished, get married and have a couple of kids.”

“My five year plan? I’ve got my eye on a nice plot of land in the mountains so I’m saving for that currently!”

[kitsuraki]

My five year plan is to obtain as much golden lumber as possible so my fellow villagers can line up outside my property at 6am and one by one, spew how butthurt they are about it everyday, and leave until the next day

[acurlygirlamy]

[palmpetals]

chalk girl