Just Keep Thinking

A place for all the thoughts that are just stuck in my head.

[findingdori]

1. This song came up on my YouTube feed after being in love with her "Revelation Song" a couple years ago. It's a nice song that I added to my "To Lead in the Future" list, but never got to doing it, and didn't spend much time learning and listening to it. 2. On an impromptu calligraphy date this past Saturday, I found inspiration from an Instagram post with these words: The ground began to shake The stone was rolled away His perfect love could not be overcome 3. While practicing calligraphy, my friend shared with me "The Word," a poem that spoke to her. She told me this poem was performed after Kari Jobe's song, "Forever," which happens to be where the words (lyrics) on the Instagram post are from! I spent the evening working on those lyrics. 4. Easter Sunday, I woke up to finish my mini project. 5. At church (which I wasn't planning to go to as I was planning to visit my old church, but changed my mind after realizing it was a joint service haha), the worship team began to lead a song I wasn't familiar with. I had this weird feeling in my chest, as if it was being pressured, or that it was scrunching up inside. As the song began to build, I saw and heard these words: The ground began to shake The stone was rolled away His perfect love could not be overcome This song...! I could not believe this de ja vu happening! Out of all songs, they have chosen this one to lead. As the instruments built on the pulse of the song towards the chorus, with harmonies rich and strong, the worship leaders sang out: Forever He is glorified And at that moment, tears rushed down my cheeks, unstoppable. That weird feeling in my chest intensified as I tried to understand what my body is doing. I couldn't help but sing out. At the top of my lungs, louder than I've ever sung, I sang the chorus in harmony: Forever He is glorified Forever He is lifted high Forever He is risen He is alive He is alive I kept trying to wipe my tears, but the music kept building and I was moved to keep singing while the lyrics spoke to my heart. It was not until after worship that I realized what the whole experience was about...God really wanted me to know much He loves me. He used this song to let His death and resurrection for me sink in mentally and emotionally. And I needed that more than ever, considering I've been neglecting him and pushing him out of my life. My body has been so used to longing for worldly things that it didn't know how to react when I am completely broken down in God's warm embrace. His perfect love could not be overcome.

[findingdori]

Mimi Meatballs (March 23, 2013 - January 3, 2016). I love you so much. You are such a curious piggy, and you always affectionately give kisses when we hold you. I'm sorry you had to go through losing your friend Spaghetti, but I hope you enjoyed being roomies with her and had a good time exploring in our little home even though it was such a short time...I love you and miss you so much 😣

[findingdori]

As far as I can remember, the first Bible verses I ever memorized in Chinese when I was in Hong Kong.

[findingdori]

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Yes, I still am a shopaholic. I haven’t shopped too much this year, but that is only true before summer holidays came along with all the free time to shop around. Some time in July, I made a spontaneous trip to a store, and ended up with a bag full of clothing items that were so cool and on sale. That’s likely when I caught the shopping bug, because I kept on shopping after that! 

In August, I was in Hong Kong, so I had to do some shopping. 

In September, a random shopping trip got me wonderful things called “Cash Cards” where you can visit the store again and get 50% off your purchase of $100 or more at a later date. Obviously, I had to go back so I can buy things for (reasonably) cheaper! 

Today, something told me that my online order has been delivered. As I took the parcel in from my front steps, I said to myself, “I don’t remember what I bought!” So, I quickly ripped the box open to find out. 

“A skirt! Yes, my skirt! Yay!”

“Shoes! Yes, shoes!”

*gasp* “I bought leggings! For Leanna! I forgot I bought leggings for Leanna!”

I smiled as saw the leggings. Then, my head began to tell me something funny. Earlier today, I went to Superstore because I wanted to check out Joe Fresh. Although I didn’t find anything I was originally looking for, I did find some things for my niece.

Here’s what the leggings from the online order look like:

And here’s what the leggings from Superstore look like:

At least one is thinner and the other is thicker, so technically they are different enough to be worn at different times of the year. ^^”

Makes me wonder how many other times I’ve purchased versions of very similar items on separate occasions, thinking that I haven’t already bought them! Hmm...

[findingdori]

Wild

Today, I had a bad case of letting my mind go wild in worry when Hubs didn’t come home at normal time, and the last text I got from him was telling me his phone was going to run out of battery really soon. 

It was a late day at work as teachers were expected to follow up with parents who didn’t attend Parent-Teacher Conferences last week. My plan was to call 5 parents because it was getting late, but as some conversations turned out to be really short, I thought I might as well power through and get it done! I checked my phone some time in the middle of phone calls, found out Hubs’ phone was going to die soon, so I texted him my plan to get home at around 6. 

After I got home, I started making dinner because I thought Hubs would be home soon. In the middle of all the cooking, I called Hubs’ phone in case it was still alive - it went straight to voicemail. I called his office in case he was still working - the “after hours” receptionist told me the office is closed, and that there was no way to call into the office. Odd enough, I got a missed call from his office shortly after I hung up. I immediately called back, but again, only got sent to voicemail. I left a message to ask him to give me a call if he could.

Half an hour later, dinner was ready. I put everything on the “Keep Warm” spot, and went upstairs to kill time. Of course, I turned on the TV to catch up on my favourite show, Scandal. At each commercial break, I would check my phone for the time, hoping Hubs would be home soon. At each commercial break, I was growing more and more worried at how late it was and how he still wasn’t home. Towards the end of the show, I started feeling really uncomfortable about not knowing where Hubster was. 

My mind started thinking about all these ridiculous things that could have happened to Hubs. Maybe he got into a car accident, but because his phone died, he couldn’t call to get help. Maybe he was unconscious and the ambulance tried to call his family but because his phone died, they didn’t know who to call. I began to think of how maybe I should be out there looking for him, but instead, I was sitting in bed watching TV. Maybe something happened to him at work. Maybe something bad happened somewhere. Should I drive to his workplace? What if he was already on his way home, though? 

The show ended, and I felt terrible. It was past 8 o’clock. Where could he be...???

Then, I heard a door close downstairs. I rushed down to find him and heard him say “Hello?” on the way down. When I saw him, I hugged him tightly and started crying like crazy. “I was so worried!” I said. It was as if he had really endured the ridiculous things my mind made up, but survived to come home. I couldn’t stop crying. In tears, I asked why he didn’t call me. He said he did, but I didn’t pick up. I said I left a message, and he said maybe he wasn’t at his desk when I called. He asked if I got his message that he was going to stay late at work today. I said the only message I got was that his phone was going to die. 

He checked my phone. And there it was, the message he sent to tell me he was going to work late. 

Moral of the story: read your text messages. Even the ones directly before the one you read that you thought you already read.

Side note: I can’t imagine the day when one of us dies :(

[findingdori]

99%

What a month it’s been! I have officially survived a month in my new (and pretty amazing) job, and have received my first paycheque. Yay! In this month, I’ve experienced some downs (already!), but I’ve also experienced a whole lot of ups. It’s been teaching me to focus on small victories, and I believe it’s the perfect window of opportunity where I can learn to truly enjoy my work.

I love the supportive culture in the staff. Everyone has been jumping on board to help me even before I went up to ask them, offering ideas, resources, and just trying to get to know me more by having short conversations as we cross paths in the hallways, or when sitting close by in the staff room during lunch. I can see that the teachers really strive for excellence and show so much passion in their plans. It is intimidating to be working in an environment where the standards are set so high, but at the same time, it is exciting to know I will be challenged and pushed to extend my skills and creativity to the next level.

I love new stuff. New roles, new classroom set-up, new decor, new plans, new expectations, new keyboard, new traditions (hopefully)...the list can go on! There is an indescribable feeling to being the music teacher instead of being the substitute or replacement teacher who is tasked to be there in the mean time. Undoubtedly an overwhelming feeling, as it comes in conjunction with the responsibility to make all the important decisions, but it also comes with a unique sense of freedom. My hope in the midst of all things new, is that I will continue to give it my best when things aren’t new anymore. 

I am loving my new job. My current job satisfaction rating: 99%. I honestly don’t think it can get any better than this. I am happy :)

Praise the Lord!

And thank you all for your company in this little journey of mine! Thank you for being there for me :)

[findingdori]

Pup Quiz with Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting

Jimmy and Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting face off in a trivia game where the winner of each round gets a puppy to snuggle. Subscribe NOW to The Tonight Show Starring J...

This is the best game ever. Cuteness overload X over 9000!!!

[findingdori]

Hong Kong 2015

Hai. I shouldn’t have given in earlier to sleep at 8:45 PM. I woke up at 11:45 PM thinking I’ve slept through the night. Oh well. Too late now. It’s only fitting, I suppose, to type up a post of my reflections on my trip to Hong Kong while I am severely jet-lagged, wide awake at 3:20 AM.

1. I am still very scared of cockroaches. Those big ugly things run so fast while making crazy direction changes. They freak me out. A lot. I scream when I see one. True story.

2. Somehow, despite not really keeping in touch with each other for the past 7 years, a dinner with a group of some of my closest friends in junior high felt just like the old times, and it was just delightful. Most of them still meet up every month to celebrate birthdays, and some even meet more regularly for board games or food. Some of them shared their stories of finding Jesus and how it has shifted where they spend their time and where their passion lies. What a great time visiting with friends!

3. When we were on our way to our apartment (serviced apartment booked through Airbnb!), my niece noticed all the tall buildings around her and said, “Wow, they’re beautiful!” Yes, Hong Kong is quite picturesque. I don’t think I appreciated that when I lived there! 

The Victoria Harbour under the sun and under the moon

Star Ferry Terminal

View from our gondola in Ocean Park

View from the Peak and Hubs and I in front of the Peak Tower. (Side note: it is no longer free to go up the Peak Tower...........)

View of Tai O from a boat. It is a fishing town on water, apparently called the Venice of Hong Kong.

4. Most of our trip involved babysitting my adorable niece and nephew. While they are just so cute, it is quite exhausting to keep them entertained and behaving. Very much respect for all moms and dads out there!! I cannot even imagine having that capacity to take care of kids. I don’t, haha...

5. “I wish I had toilet-clogging poo” - quote from the trip by............ Who do you think had the toilet-clogging poo and who didn’t? =P

6. I don’t spend enough time with my family. 

Selfies with family <3

7. Happy Birthday, GongGong!!! It is amazing to see you so healthy and happy at 90 years old :)

It is now 5:53 AM. I am not even close to being sleepy. 

[findingdori]

Page 19

Going on a spontaneous shopping trip. Finding things that make me look pretty and/or stylish. And they are really comfy. And on sale. 

AWESOME!! 

[findingdori]

The Feels

*There are spoilers of Inside Out in this blog post.*

I recently watched a Pixar movie called Inside Out. For a movie that is made for kids, I thought there was a pretty deep and profound concept for “older kids” like myself to take away - Sadness begets Joy. 

Yes, Sadness is always negative, and can always find something to be sad about in everything - even in a happy moment. But the movie beautifully portrayed how Sadness is a fairly significant part of Joy. By accepting Sadness, Riley opened up to her parents about how she has been struggling to stay happy during a time of change, and from there, she was able to go through a tough transition together with her parents instead of going through it all alone. 

It is so true that Sadness is often excluded or pushed aside, or is being told to just stay in one spot and do nothing so we can be happy all the time. Maybe we feel we are expected to do that. But maybe Sadness needs to come out once in a while so that we can get help from friends and family and move on. We don’t have to go through life on our own.

[findingdori]

Big Dreams

OHHH MYYYY GOSHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I GET TO TEACH BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are with me every step of the way without a doubt! You go before me, You stand behind me, and You provide everything that I need that is often so beyond my imagination! God, You are amazing!

THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You rock! I am so blessed! I couldn’t have asked for better people in my life who support, encourage, and pray for me this much all the time :) 

[findingdori]

1 out of 5

Update from my previous post: I just got home from an interview (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) at the school in my neighbourhood. I feel good about it, but of course I also feel that I could have said more things to promote myself and how I would be a good fit for the school. 

It’s so sneaky how the Evil One works. Yesterday night, the night before the interview, I somehow stayed up til 2 A.M. to “prep” for the interview (approximately 5% of that work made it to the interview today). I ended up with only 4.5 hours of sleep. This morning, I tried to print something for my portfolio using the colour printer, but the cartridges were all empty - it wouldn’t print anything. On my way to the interview, I stopped at every red light, had a traffic jam scare at the Yellowhead entrance, and was stuck behind slow cars (10+ under the limit) the entire way. After the interview as I am sitting at home now, I am starting to doubt myself. They told me they were interviewing 5 people for the position.

But this is how amazing God is. Despite getting very little sleep, my class was so good and on task today that it was easy to get through. Even though I did not have the coloured pictures of me working with students, they did not ask me for them. In fact, they did not even ask for my portfolio! All that work...haha! Normally prone to road rage, my heart and mind was so calm the entire way - I didn’t even check the time until I was mid-way there. I arrived at the school 10 minutes before the interview, which gave me just a few moments to collect myself and get ready to impress. Even though I began to doubt my performance when I got home, my coworker a.k.a BFF called to check on me, and reminded me that no matter what happens, this isn’t the be-all and end-all. God is so amazing!!!

And so the waiting begins. Thank you for all of your support and prayers!!! I will keep you updated on what’s next!

[findingdori]

Perfect Match

It’s rare that I would change my mind when I have my mind fixed on something. My mind has been fixed on getting a music assignment next year. Regardless of what other (less desirable but more certain) things are happening right now, my mind is telling me that what I want for next year is a Band assignment (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) at a school that is, according to google maps, a 3-minute drive away from home. I don’t think it can get any better than this, can it? 

I’m doing what would make me happy: I've just sent in my application :)

[findingdori]

Have you ever had somebody do something nice for you but it wasn’t something that you were wanting but it happened anyways and then you find yourself stuck between being a nice person and playing along and acting like you really wanted it but also annoyed because now you might be forced to do something you don’t want to do in order to not offend that person or else risk appearing ungrateful for their kind act or being too difficult but sometimes you wonder why care about what others think about you and then you tell yourself you don’t care but deep down you do care even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit 

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE

[findingdori]

Toast

1. At work. As I was preparing to heat up my lunch, I took two slices of whole wheat bread I brought from home, and put them in the toaster to get a nice crisp. I then microwaved my lunch, and returned to my spot to enjoy my lunch.

After an entire afternoon plus the next full work day, I realized that I never went back to get my toast! 

2. At camp. I took a slice of whole wheat bread and put it in a toaster located directly in front of where I was sitting. Somebody came to sit in front of me, and we both enjoyed our lunches together. 

Upon finishing my meal, I realized that I never went back to get my toast! 

Did you forget something...?

[findingdori]

29 More Teaching Days

This time last year, I didn’t want summer to come. I loved my identity as the K-9 music teacher, and didn’t want it to end. All good things come to an end, though. I was discouraged. And I was anxious for the next academic year. 

This year, I can’t wait til summer is here. I can’t say that I embraced my new identity as a mandarin teacher fully, and am hoping for other better suited opportunities. Thankfully all not-so-good things come to an end as well. I am at peace even though nothing is lined up for next year at this point. And I am filled with an unexpected excitement for God’s next steps for me - whether it be furthering my teaching career, a change of career, or something totally different.

I’m feeling renewed. It’s so freeing to let go and trust in Him!

[findingdori]

Page 18

When Hubs and I share so many silly moments laughing together until we spit out cookies.

AWESOME!!!