Hello! My name is Zeda!
Given my love for both shipping in specific and fandom in particular, be prepared for reblogs of metaposts, shitposts, and art for MP100, World Trigger, Blue Lock, AJIN, Death Note, and whatever else strikes my fancy!
This IS the Fandom Blog after all.
attackdog puppyplay where I rip your enemies to bloody pieces and then lay my head in your lap to hear ‘attaboy’ and feel fingers in my sweaty, bloody hair
I don't know if I'll be able to articulate this thought very well, but I was just thinking about how Kaiser [and the way people around him react to him] is depicted throughout his child and teenage years especially, and like... Okay, walk with me and I'll see if I can organize my thoughts coherently.
[dumb incoherent Kaiser ramble under the tag, kiss kiss in advance if you choose to endure my unfiltered and unedited brainworms]
So in flashbacks, Kaiser's drawn as a quiet child with a soft, muted expression and wide, attentive eyes. The manga canon establishes this visual, and basically every doujinshi depicting him as a child carries on with this recursive imagery. Through the lens of fanworks [which, granted, are made by Kaiser fans, so I'm acknowledging that there was likely a positive bias towards him even before they were introduced to him as a child in the manga] you can tell that this depiction is received as one of an incredibly cute, pitiable child that people feel drawn towards, usually with the impulse to soothe and protect him. We don't actually see anyone reach out to him as a lonely, isolated, ignored and abused child, but isn't that hard to imagine when you look at him? You couldn't scream 'helpless stray puppy' any louder, visually. I love Don Lorenzo, but the way that he's drawn during the time that he was an impoverished, desperate child - swarming with flies, frighteningly gaunt, toothless - gives us a [painful, shallow,] clearly visible reason WHY strangers might have been wary to approach him. But not Kaiser.
Then as a teen freshly recruited by Ray Dark, we see that while he has that same guarded, quiet expression, the very first thing his new team mates do is greet him warmly and try to befriend him. He doesn't know how to react to this, of course, so he defaults to violence as the only kind of human interaction he's comfortable with. But the fact remains that when they first saw him, they were immediately drawn to him and ready to receive him with kindness. It's less likely that they found him magnetic for his looks, and more likely that they were intrigued by the promise and mystery of his soccer talent, but still- there they are, flocking in anyway, warm and open to getting to know him.
And then Kaiser cultivates this ruthless showman persona, gets tattoos and bulks up and devotes himself to being as cruel and destructive towards others as he possibly can. But even at his worst, he STILL has Ness ready and eager to follow him, and fans looking genuinely thrilled whenever he enters the pitch or scores a goal. Even at his most repellant, there are still people all around who beam at him and cheer him on.
So like... I don't know where I'm going with this, really. But I feel that on a certain level, Kaiser is [and I mean STILL is, even with his much harder, haughtier, nastier persona on full display] someone that a lot of people feel naturally compelled to love? Here he's been yearning for love ever since he was a small, lonely child, and yet it's all around him, constantly. He just may have never learned how to see it, much less open up to and accept the free-flowing, ambient love all around him. It's really fascinating and sad to me that he so clearly thinks he needs to do something to earn love; needs to figure out the complicated formula or perform the necessary ritual in order to invoke love. But it's right there! It's all around you!
I find it really compelling, that's all.
( and there's a whole OTHER conversation to be had [largely on the fanon level, where the kaisagi brainworms take over the chat] about whether or not he knows that what he wants is a very specific kind of love, and maybe that's why he's ignoring and rejecting all of the other kinds of love being heaped at his feet. I personally read it as like- Kaiser wants to TRULY be loved, and in his mind, he cannot truly be loved without being acknowledged as horrible, worthless trash. Because he's so certain that that's what he is that he cannot conceive of someone thinking differently about him. If they reassure him at he's not trash, they're either lying or they're wrong. )
storyboard & layout practice about their first meeting. the Technically one. before the very dramatic chin grab & life oath happens. also + storyboard notes esque yapping (it's truthfully just yapping) but hey i forgot to mention that yeah one is on the right one is on the left because they complete each other. they are gay for each other they just dont know it yet. but also i want to input the usual "oh kaiser & isagi are red and blue black and white. opposite and yet similar" vibes
thinking back, the way passed out isg's face was depicted in what most probably was kis' pov—that man is genuinely fucked you know.
what do you mean you—a guy—who just got your stagnating world view in regards to your control and power shaken, gazes at your supposed stepping stone—another guy, who exceeded your expectations and starts ransacking your world the way you challenged him to—and see him like this:
mind u we've never seen isg's lashes in such detail. mind u we were the audience who had been in isg's head since chap 1. and this german man who debuted like 50 something chap ago already started doing this bullshit.
Hi! Sorry for bothering you, but I just wanted to say that I discovered your incredible kaisagi art on pixiv and when I clicked and went through your profile, I let out a gasp of joy because I remember you on Twitter back then as a fellow shimateru shipper 🥹
It’s amazing to see someone from a past fandom again, thank you for the amazing kiis art again 🌹🌱
Ahh no you're NEVER a bother-! 💖 I'm so happy that you found me again in a new fandom, especially since leaving Twitter definitely scattered a lot of the fandom experience as I knew it to the wind! That's so cool 🥺 And I'm so happy that you're enjoying my kiis art, too! It's been surreal for me, going from being into a very socially tight-knit rarepair-adjacent space to such a bustling juggernaught of a most-popular-ship [especially in JP spaces, by a WIIIDE margin], where I'm honestly mostly ignored because I'm such a small speck in a vast ocean. The Shimateru hivemind can never truly be replicated! 😭🙏💖
this should have been a "quick doodles <3" but no it's a lie and i think it is obvious. i am avoiding my responsibilities to draw soccer yaoi. i also somehow find new ways to insert my yappings instead of acting like a proper civilized person and use lorem ipsum. on another news yay i finally draw kaiser's left hand tattoo (almost) fully. this is a milestone.
storyboard & layout practice about their first meeting. the Technically one. before the very dramatic chin grab & life oath happens. also + storyboard notes esque yapping (it's truthfully just yapping) but hey i forgot to mention that yeah one is on the right one is on the left because they complete each other. they are gay for each other they just dont know it yet. but also i want to input the usual "oh kaiser & isagi are red and blue black and white. opposite and yet similar" vibes
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turnnoffyourmind
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