Galino House

Alcohol & drug rehab

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My addiction is…

My addiction was not just based upon drugs and the wrong friends. It took me years to finally believe that I had a problem and the problems was not only drugs, the problem was with me. I did not look into myself and fix the issues I carried for years.

Drugs and alcohol were my “go to” in order to cover up the insecurities. I made issues in my own life because I did not chose to stand up right and stand up for what was right. Instead I let life walk over me and just exist, then I began to do these things to fill the void inside. Some of these things were drugs, bad relationships and doing stupid things to justify who I am. In truth I believed I deserved nothing more than how others saw me. I allowed their opinions to rule my chances of success. Then the drugs helped me to get an ego, and I followed it. I followed it into a deep hole that took years to get out of.

Once I began on the road of recovery I began to realise things were not about me. I hurt my friends, family and myself! I began to work the 12 step program and every day I had to face these feelings and thoughts. Recovery is not an easy road but it was worth every single step I have taken to get to where I am today. My friends are different, my family respect me and I can feel clear minded to make the right choices.

Recovery is not supposed to be something that feels like “I can’t do this” that is fear. If you allow fear to control your mind and life then you will not recover. There are so many people who love you and care about who you are in this life. We all want you to be a success and we walk this path with you.

Rehabilitation has taught me that there are still people who care and want what is best for me. They are willing to walk this path with me and when I slip and fall they are there to catch me. They lift me up every single day and I know I always have friends who want to walk along the path with me.

Most importantly recovery has taught me to be humble, respectful and to take every day as it comes. It has saved me from my dark wolf that I was feeding. The anger has left my system and finally I feel that I can face every day without the chains. Recovery was not about just stopping drugs, it was about changing my mind-set and lifestyle!

I hope you read this and begin your path to recovery from whatever it might be that you are addicted to!

With Love

A

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Setting Boundaries

Addicts who are in recovery are vulnerable and have to make dramatic changes in their lives. The fear of loneliness is real during recovery and that fear can be behind relapse.

More often than not, when you agree to something that you did not want to do, it is to your detriment. Saying yes to every request can leave you feeling overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted.

These are all states of vulnerability which can lead to look for an escape or coping mechanism, especially for someone who is addicted.

The inability to say no has led many people down the road of drug use and alcoholism. Consequently,

The more you say yes, the harder it becomes to say no and can break down your self-confidence. Having self-confidence gives you the ability to make boundaries.

Saying no is empowering and can often get you respect. It means that you know where your boundaries are and aren’t willing to compromise your own safety.

Boundaries are extremely important it shows what you allow and what you do not allow into your life. Boundaries help you say no and mean it.

3 stages of setting boundaries

1) Defining the boundary – What exactly is it that you want to prevent? Is the boundary flexible or negotiable? What are the consequences of the boundary being broken?

2) Setting the boundary – Take responsibility for your role. Be honest about your thoughts and feelings and express them. Listening and understanding the other person’s outlook or feelings.

3) Maintaining the boundary – acknowledge when the boundary has been either respected or broken. Responding in the appropriate manner when it has been broken.

Effective boundaries help for healthy relationship where trust and respect are mutual. Healthy relationships with friends and family play a role in recovery and prevention of substance abuse.

How to say no and mean it

Always remember that saying no means that you have respect for yourself and your boundaries. Someone who truly cares about your wellbeing will not ask something of you that will because you harm in any way.

Here are some tips to help you say no:

- There is no need to go into immense detail about why you aren’t agreeing to do something.

- Be polite but still assertive. You do not have to use aggressive communication to effectively convey your message.

- When you say no, maintain a sturdy posture and make eye contact.

- Once you have said no, make a healthier suggestion instead such as a walk.

- Say no and change the subject to any topic that is unrelated to drugs and alcohol.

- Make it clear that you are on the journey of recovery and do not welcome invitations that could lead you into temptation.

During addiction counselling at Galino House you will learn tools and methods to find the strength and self-confidence you need to say no and mean it.

You will feel empowered and capable of setting boundaries to support your recovery process. Knowing what is good for you and what is bad will assist you in your ability to say no when you feel it’s right.

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“We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives become unmanageable.”

“We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives become unmanageable.”

Addiction is no joke, it can divide us from our friends, family and most importantly from ourselves. The treatment plan to changing the habit is to dig deep within ourselves and find out what has lead us down this road. Addiction is our punishment to not understanding who we truly are and what truly makes our lives change. The problem with addiction is that it is a disease and we continuously run in circles of insanity never truly healing with the underlining issues.

Step one tells us specifically “we were powerless and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

If we look at the word “were” we find ourselves in the past tense so what does this mean?

Does this mean that we aren’t powerless anymore?

Yes, the good news is that as soon as I admitted my powerlessness over my addiction and the unmanageability of it all, I surrender and I accept that I can’t partake successfully anymore I accept “complete defeat”. Although this meaning of powerless needs to be made as a definite choice from within yourself. Powerless means that you have to entirely accept your condition and know that it’s not a short road to success, this is a lifestyle change altogether. Acceptance and surrender sounds easy and are strong words but, it looses its power without action.

In in order for me to put the past of powerlessness and unmanageability behind me I have to go and look at the basics of total surrender. The great “I AM” need to surrender first my will is dead and I can’t control my using and I can’t do it on my own. I need a power greater than myself to restore me back to Honesty open mindedness and willingness.

I leads to the daily question we need to ask ourselves in order to face the reality “Am I being honest about my addiction and how?”

This means to truly sit down and divide the truth from the lies you have in your life and in your mind, knowing the difference is part of the first step in making your recovery a success. Knowing that you are powerless of what you speak of to how you think and act. You have to come to the point where you want to be honest first to yourself and then to life itself.

Other questions you can begin to ask yourself that will help you start your road to recovery are:

Has my addiction affected mentality, physically, spiritually and emotionally?

What have I lost and what can me still lose?

Do I want to change my life?

Do I have to change my life?

What have I lost already and what can me if I don’t change it?

This is a program of honesty, so in order for it to work honesty must be practiced so that the lies of addiction can loose its power especially self –honesty. Humanly it is impossible to do all of this on my own I need a power greater than myself, this ties in with step 2 to “find a power greater than myself and to be restored back sanity.”

The thing is to keep in mind while working step one is to constantly work on each step daily as you add more steps to your problem. Here are a few tips to help you with regards to step one:

1. Surrender to win

2.HOW Honesty open mindedness and willingness

3. I can’t never again partake in my addiction by doing it one day at the time

4. I a power greater than myself I can’t God can.

We hope and wish you all the best for your recovery, if you need help or have someone in need of help. Please feel free to contact us via our social media accounts and through our website.

With love,

Galino House

Written by Johan Coetzee

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Considering counselling at Galino House?

If you take the time to read the first step of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program you will notice that it mentions the word, powerless. For me as an Addiction Counselor, this is a word which means a loss of or lack of self-control. The nature of drugs and alcohol or most behavioral addictions is that they supply the user with a source of instant gratification.

At first sight the process of recovery can seem to be a long drawn out procedure. At Galino House we recommend at least 3 weeks in-patient care as a foundation, before recovery proper begins. This also helps to avoid the distressing prospect of relapse. I would also add that at times, insufficient self-control or the need for immediate gratification can be regarded as the root cause of relapse, but the problem is far more intricate than that. In my opinion, for behavioral or substance abusing addicts new to recovery, relapse is better interpreted as a way of avoiding overwhelming emotional pain.

For anyone thinking about getting help for their addiction, it’s worth considering that most professionals consider addiction to be an illness. This means not having the ability to appropriately restrain the painful emotions and impulses that cause them to drink or to use drugs or misuse time by watching pornography. The loss of control can often be blamed on, the inability to tolerate boredom long enough to concentrate on something positive, such as recovery. Consider that boredom means being left alone with your own feelings, now there’s a painful thought.

Regular counselling sessions in treatment is offering an opportunity for the addict to embrace the basics of the recovery process while at the same time minimising the risk of relapse. Confident and quality recovery takes time to achieve. The second step of the twelve-step programme starts with the words “Came to believe …” this means encouraging the alcoholic, or addict to, enter the process. Allowing time to change and positively influence their future.

AA also promises that the process happens, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. It says. They (The Promises) will always materialize if we work for them. When thinking of counselling at rehab, the process of change needs to be without egotism or arrogance. The process of change needs to be about action and willingness. It’s far more rewarding to be part of the process by applying the needed action, then to be a cardboard cut-out, sitting on the edge wanting and waiting for people to applaud what little achievements you may have made.

By Robert McFarlane