Hi! I wanted to start of by saying that I appreciate your blog a lot. It's exactly what my bf and I were looking for. I was wondering if you could give advice on coming up with soft punishments? Recently he had some solo time where he got off twice and felt guilty so I asked if he wanted me to punish him and he bashfully said yes. I know this might be odd and maybe tmi but I was really hoping to find some guidance on this part. Again thank you for your blog and I hope you have a lovely day!
I’M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY! This has been sitting in my inbox for WEEKS! I’m sorry! Hmmmmm...That’s an interesting question cause it’s not one that I think about very often. Thank you for the question!
First of all: your subs SOFT or HARD limits should be avoided while using punishments. Cutting, tying, harming, burning, etc. Punishments, even soft ones, are not intended to harm. You want to encourage your sub to want these punishments...perhaps even being a little bratty to get said punishment.
Physical punishments are the most common. In some cases, impact play (flogging, whipping, belting, caning, spanking) is suitable. Not all subs are masochists, and perhaps physical punishment (within their limits) is their way to receive a clear signal that such behavior is not acceptable. Kneeling on the floor, or even on peas/buckwheat is very painful and commonly used for punishment. Even face slaps can do for some. “Cold showers for three days” would be something that would make me personally very, very unhappy.
Example: A softer side is tying my sub (because he enjoys being restrained by his hands) to the bed and softly teasing him but not doing anything else. Withholding touching from him drives him crazy cause all he wants to do is cuddle me. 😈
In some cases, psychological and humiliating things will do the trick more. Standing in the corner. Being forbidden to look at the Dom in the eyes. Being ordered to take a nude photo while holding a “Please forgive me” sign. Not being allowed to touch. The traditional school-born activity of doing the lines - “I will no do this anymore” a hundred times.
In some cases, “not doing something pleasant” instead of “doing something unpleasant” is used. “No masturbation for a [time period]” is a common tactic (MY FAV 😍💕😍💕), particularly in Femdom. “No sweets”, “no computer games”, “no TV” are all very real and, for some, very efficient punishments.
And, while we’re at it, for some subs the mere fact that they’ve made their Mistresses unhappy is the worst punishment in the world.
I hope this helps. If you want to talk more privately, please message me and I can go into personal stories and examples and stuff like that.
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