"I am scared that if you get a job and a car you'll leave me for somebody better and realize that you're happy now that you have success and freedom" or "I am hesitant to be with you sometimes because you don't have a job or a car and I feel trapped" or "I am unsure about my feelings for my ex" or years later "your best friend" but "I was scared, I am so sorry that I hurt you" and right in the middle, after the now obvious assult "You don't think I raped you, right?"
They do not see you. I have seen you. Now that you have your way, you are more docile. But one thing goes wrong or becomes out of your control, you take control by any means. All of the fucked up things you have said and done to me. I fucking hate you. The ultimate "buddy" who treats women like a band-aid before tossing them in the trash with the rest. The private one who keeps those ātypes of thingsā to himself so nobody has any way of knowing the in and out of your fucked up cycle of a life. Are you "woke" now that everybody is watching? Do you not acknowledge how you treated the women you were with before? You emotionally drained us until we were hollow. Glad you got enough life force to stand on your own two feet now. I have to relearn every single day how to be my genuine self and speak my mind without being punished. I have to go into relationships with anybody I meet lacking trust, even more so now. So thank you. I hope that inside you are as tormented as I am. Not at the thought of you being happy, because I know that can't ever be true for you. I hope you can't sleep or go into a flashback when you think about the things you have done to us. I hope the things you said ring in your ears. But mostly I hope you get fucking help so that you don't do it to her. It all seems innocent enough at first...until you have them questioning every move they make. I hope you question every move you make.
