My name is Giulia. I am 23 years old. Born and bred in the Capitol. Academy Graduate and took my Bachelor’s degree in the Capitol University. I am loyal to Panem and my husband. I truly enjoy posca and reading, I spend most of my time doing the latter when I am not too busy attending galas. Coriolanus encourages a good hobby. He spoils me rotten but running Panem steals most of his time. During my leisure, I write. You can find my works in the library. Oh, and any misjudgement or error committed in my part does not have to reach the President’s office, I shall invite you to have tea and cakes with me, if so.
Chapter Synopsis: You learn how things can change in a matter of moments.
Warning: violence
Word Count: 6605
Chapter 9
Everything was far too perfect.
The damp morning air dares to seep past your thin night gown to chill you but Naoya provides you so much warmth that you remain oblivious of the fact.
And you wake up in a warm embrace and the gentle breathing of the man who traps you in his embrace and almost lulling you back to sleep instantly, if it weren’t for the featherlight kisses on your cheek.
“Forgive me, wife. It wasn’t my intention to wake you.” Naoya whispers, with his voice all gravelly, having just woken up, himself.
You close your eyes once more when he nudges his nose against your plump cheek. “Naoya-sama, I need to go prepare your tea.”
He nips your cheek, startling you. “Starting today, I no longer require you to bring me tea. You must rest, wife.”
“Naoya-sama, I am perfectly capable of performing my tasks. I am still early in my pregnancy.”
“I will have none of it.” Naoya says, sternly.
Your determined gaze does not go unnoticed by him. But he pays it no mind and rises from the bed.
“You will be permitted to tend to your garden but I forbid any physical labor.” He says as he makes his way to the bathroom but turns to you before he crosses the threshold. “And for the love of the Crimson Sea, no more disappearing in the woods.”
What are you to do then? Point at the servants which plant to trim and to feed fertilizer? Order them around as you sit? There will be no running to your secret garden for a while then.
The sun is already high up in the sky and you wonder why the estate bell did not ring like how it usually does. You can’t be that tired to have missed it.
Your annoyingly excessive of a husband must have had something to do with it.
The sheets crinkles under your touch when you peel it off you to start your day. You peek out from the window and see that you are right. You are past your usual waking time, already at midday. Despite that, you notice the it does not seem particularly hot.
Splotches of orange and red in the leaves somehow explains why.
You look down and see the limp hydrangea placed in the vase by the windowsill. You lean down and brush your lips against the velvety petals and watch how the flower comes to life once more.
Deciding that it’s time to start your day, you head to your closet. Naoya has given you a variety of kimono recently. The fabrics are all of the highest quality, with patterns so intricate, you can only imagine how long it took to be made.
Yet, despite all of it, you decided to go for comfort.
A soft fabric, with little to no patterns and the color subdued and mellow.
It allows good ventilation that will keep you from being too hot, yet enough to protect you from the cold breeze. It seems like it was also time for you to start wearing softer obis.
As you are deciding which obi would suit your kimono, Naoya joins you in the closet, unashamed of his lack of clothing.
He hovers behind you and places a kiss on your neck before reaching for an obi that was neatly folded in a high shelf and hands it to you. He just has to involve himself with your business.
Naoya rummages through his side of the closet to choose his clothing for the day.
It has been a long time since you were able to coexist in the same space. Too long since you were able to do the most mundane of things next to each other.
“Wife, assist me for a moment.”
You turn to him without meeting his eye. You reach for the folded belt of the front section of his hakama and twirl it around his waist, while you do so, he keeps his eyes on you. After you managed to secure the front, you side stepped him to fix the back of his clothing.
Naoya raises his arm to let you pass under to secure the knot by his abdomen. You still for a moment when he shudders under your touch when you smooth the belt by his waist.
You ignore the feel of his sculpted stomach despite his kimono as you slip the fabric between the wrapped belt. Carefully, you loop the excess fabric on your fingers to make a crisscross knot.
But Naoya snatches your wrist and you look up to see him sternly looking at you, the tips of his ears are tinged red, his piercings look more prominent.
“Is it too tight, Naoya-sama?”
He grits his teeth before pulling you in. “You’re driving me crazy.”
Wha-
And he kisses you.
He kisses oh so passionately, breathing deeply into your lips, taking you in.
Naoya has your arms on his hold, his grip is tight but not enough to hurt. Your strength leaves your body, he lets you slump against him.
He nibbles on your bottom lip before enveloping it with his and sucks. You feel his chest heaving against you as he lets go of your arms and instead, he wraps it around you, pressing you close to him until your body molds as one.
Naoya is delighted when he hears your soft whine and grip his broad shoulder. You like how it tenses under your touch, his body responding to yours.
“Wife, you are my hunger.” He says in between kisses. “And my ruin.”
You rub your thighs at the desperation of his voice.
“Naoya-sama.” You whimpered against his lips, he pulled away to see your eyes welling up with unshed tears, lips swollen and moist after his breathtaking kiss.
You are fucking beautiful.
“What is it, wife? Did I hurt you?”
“No,” why do you have to make me feel like this, “I don’t think we should.”
He feels himself strain with your demure tone, sounding exactly like you did in your first night together. He tucks your hair behind your ear and smiles at you softly.
“We don’t have to go further if you are not comfortable.” He says, but you see how his eyes flit to how you rub your thighs.
Your hormones are a great pain for you. Wanting. Always wanting.
Your skin is feverish against him and you look away from your husband when you start to feel your essence seeping down from between your thighs.
He knows exactly what you want but he won’t be making another mistake that could put your marriage in further jeopardy. He will not smother you with his selfish desires. He will not seduce you into forgiving him.
So, he pulls away.
But when he feels how your fist tightens around his kimono….oh….Naoya wastes no time, lifting you off your feet and places you gently on top of the smooth surface of a dresser.
He kisses you once more, this time rooting from carnal desires.
You have no idea how it kills him to not touch you every morning and night when you lay together. The need is eating at him. And now that you show him the tiniest hint that you want him too, he grabbed at it so desperately.
You grip his shoulders and run your delicate fingers on his neck, you feel every vein that protrudes as he barely holds himself back.
Naoya unties your kimono and you let him. Your breath turns shallow as he leaves trails of kisses on your chest until he finds your swollen and ample bosom. He envelops his lips around one pert nipple, reminding himself that he has to be gentle with your body as even the softest touch has your back arching.
So sensitive. So responsive.
He sucks on each nipple until they tingle from being suckled taut. You whine as he is not touching you where you want him to, and he is well aware of it.
You hold your breath when Naoya kneels before you.
The heir of the Zenin clan, one of the most prestigious families of the empire. One of the pillars that supports this land. And yet here he is, not minding the fact that you are physically above him as his gaze wanders over your plump belly, as if it hides a holy secret he would die worshipping.
He makes eye contact with you before he lifts your thighs from the table to place it on his muscular shoulders. A soft trembling breath escapes you as he places a kiss on your inner thigh.
“Itadakimasu.”
You throw your head back as a sinful moan rips from your throat.
“It is good to see that your relish for food is back.”
You stop midchew to smile at Chiyo.
The events that happened bright and early in the morning led to you developing quite an appetite, much to Chiyo’s delight. She just about fed you everything that she found in the kitchen.
Despite eating your fill, you can’t seem to stop stuffing your mouth with the candied peaches that your mother has sent you. You have been snacking on it all afternoon.
“Indeed, it felt so long since I got to eat that much.” You nod.
Perhaps your body started to adjust to the little one that is growing inside you. You wish you could have the same regulation in your emotions.
Your hormones can easily go haywire and you always have to keep your emotions in check, trying to see the rational side before exploding or losing control of your actions.
“You will need it.” Chiyo interrupts your thoughts. “Your growing child will need proper nourishment. Just keep in mind that it is also not good for you to give in to your cravings all the time.”
Of course. The future of the clan rests on your belly. You can’t abide by what your selfish hormones want all the time.
“I will do my best to eat healthier starting today.” You vow.
“Well then.” You flinch when she gives you a smile that only holds scolding behind it. “Save the rest of that jar of candied peaches for tomorrow.”
You purse your lips, hands tightening on the jar of candied peaches on your lap and see two empty jars rolled beside the bench that you are sitting on.
“Y-you’re right, I should.”
Brushing your hands against each other, you place the half empty jar by your side and let Chiyo put the lid back on.
“I can always ask the chefs to make you something more filling if you go hungry again.” Chiyo laughs.
“Chiyo-san.” You both turn to Megumi who has a napping puppy flopped on his messy mop of hair.
Toji asked you to watch over his son after he had to leave for urgent matters. You first thought that you will be having quite a hard time due to Megumi’s dismissive attitude but he has been behaving the entire time and just playing with his puppy in the garden with you.
“Yes, Megumi-sama?” Chiyo smiles.
Megumi, obviously not used to how he is being addressed, looks away with his cheeks aflamed.
“I was just wondering if you still have those chicken meatballs that we had for lunch?”
He looks so adorable, you thought, as he scratches his head.
Megumi must have been hungry from running around the garden teaching his puppy new tricks.
“I will go ask the chef to make a fresh batch for you, Megumi-sama.”
Megumi looks reluctant about it but agrees anyway.
As Chiyo excuses herself, Megumi takes a seat beside you and sets his puppy on his lap.
You close your eyes as you lean back on the bench to soak up the gentle rays of the setting sun, trying to make up for the weeks of staying indoors due to the heavy rain.
Megumi, as you noticed, preferred to avoid conversations. He is not particularly rude, except to his father, just observant and reserved.
Which is why you are elated when he starts talking to you.
“You smell like flowers, is that why there are butterflies everywhere you go?”
Just in time, a butterfly lands on your sleeve. You extend your hand to Megumi to give him a closer look of it. The sun was starting to retire and it was too bad, you couldn’t see the intricate patterns on the wings. “I think my cursed energy has something to do with it.”
Megumi watches as the butterfly flutters away.
“Sorry you had to get stuck with me.” He grumbles.
“But I enjoy spending time with you, there is no need to apologize.” You reach to smoothen out his hair and you feel all fluffy inside when he just lets you.
He puffs out the air that he bubbled in his cheeks. “My father always does these kind of stuff. Always troubling other people.”
You laugh. “I’m not other people, Megumi.”
He lightly slaps your hand away as you try to ruffle his hair.
“You shouldn’t put too much trust in my father, he’s not exactly a good person.”
Instead of asking him why he was able to say so, you just wrap your arm on his tiny frame.
Not all children had the same privilege as you. Not all of them had servants waiting on their every whim. Not all were sheltered from the cruelty of the world. And a child who is able to make such deep statements proved you right.
“I am certain that there was a perfectly good reason why your father had to do those things, Megumi.” He leans more into your hug. “Your father may do questionable things sometimes, but he never acts selfishly and recklessly.”
“I know. Most of those things, he does for me.” He whispers and hides his face on your kimono.
You hug him tighter in response.
Megumi stays in your embrace until he hears the sound of Chiyo’s getas.
You first notice the yellowish light that emits from the candle that sits on top of Chiyo’s tray before you actually see her. It was starting to get dim and you silently thank her initiative for bringing a candle. Even more so when you notice a scent of citronella. The last thing that you wanted was to get feasted on by mosquitos.
“Here you go, Megumi-sama. They’re freshly made.” Chiyo calls in such a warm and cheerful voice that you can’t help but smile with her.
Chiyo sets the plate between you and Megumi who picks up a pair of chopsticks and hands it to you before he picks one for himself.
“Oh, are you going to share these with me, Megumi?”
He looks at you funny, as if he finds your question stupid.
“Of course, Y/N-san. Can’t you see the size of this bowl?”
He is right, the number of meatballs might be enough to feed five people and Chiyo did not settle for just bringing a bowl full, she stacked the steaming deep-fried meatballs until it formed a tiny mountain.
Chiyo thinks of everything as beside it is a steaming bowl of freshly cooked rice and a couple of side dishes to go along with it.
It looks like you will be having an early dinner tonight.
“Thank you, Chiyo-san.” Megumi says as he bites into a meatball. “You should join us.”
“Megumi and I will not be able to eat all of this.” You add when you see her hesitation.
Chiyo declines, telling you that it is not a servant’s place to be sharing a meal with their masters.
“I am inviting you as a friend, Chiyo.”
You did not see how her eyes widened at your words. You also did not see how she wipes away the formed moisture in her eyes.
“Of course, Y/N-sama.”
It was later in the night when all three of you managed to finish the meal, and after that, you spent more time in the garden, listening to Megumi’s stories of his adventure with his father. He tells you about the time that they sailed for almost a month with pirates.
“They were a nasty bunch,” he said.
He is so tiny but has seen so many places already. You can only wish you can visit the places he describes with such childlike wonder.
What piqued your interest however, was his story about his time in the town governed by Lord Fujita.
He tells you he met a brash girl in there who always carried a hammer around. Megumi was frowning when he reported that the girl was rude but did buy him sweets in a shop there, along with ginger tea when she accidentally swung her hammer at him.
It was also the first time that he accidentally summoned his shikigami. He mumbles how it’s his mama that sent the puppies to protect him, she is watching over him. The innocence of this child. You wish he could have a better future, you wish he would know no wars nor disputes.
There is more reason for you to believe that this war should be put to a stop before it actually begins.
When Megumi starts to yawn and his responses come out in drawls, Chiyo promises you that she will be taking Megumi to his room so you can retire for the night too.
However, you insist on taking him to his room yourself. Toji left him in your care after all.
Megumi was slipping from being asleep and awake every few moments. Even his dog with ivory fur is asleep as it rests on his head again.
He does not even complain when you offer your hand to him so he can walk without tripping.
You giggle when he mumbles a gibberish at the exact same time when his puppy whines in his sleep.
His and Toji’s room is in a deeper part of the estate house. There weren’t many lamps to light up the entire hallway, they are so far apart that you can barely see your feet at times.
You worry that you might wander off to the wrong corridor and get lost. You vaguely remember the way, as it was only once that you visited their room. That was when Toji gave you his gift. A beautiful dress, he said it was the latest fashion in House Fujita. It resembles the kimonos that you wear but they have distinct patterns and cuts that tell you that it originates from a different land.
It felt like conquering a maze when you finally manage to reach their room.
It is empty when you make it inside.
You let go of Megumi’s hand and gently lift the puppy off his head before crouching down in front of him. “Megumi? Y/N-san is going to leave now, will you be alright sleeping alone?”
He yawns before he lets his deadpanned eyes land on you.
“Y/N-san, even though I am about to pass out from sleepiness,” he pauses to let out a bigger yawn, “It does not stop me from thinking how stupid you sound when you refer to yourself in third person.”
“Yes, I apologize.” You cover your mouth to stop yourself from laughing, as you stand up to lead him to the unkempt futon.
“I’ll really make my dog bite his ankles when he returns, I swear it.” He mumbles.
This day has really been quite bizarre.
Megumi was a closed off kid, you thought. However, this day, you got to see a side of him that you never thought was there. He also gave you the chance to see a glimpse of what awaits you in the future.
Motherhood.
“Thank you, Y/N-san.” He yawns once more, as he clings to your arms when you help him lie comfortably on the bed.
You pull the blanket over him and you kiss his forehead. “Of course, Megumi.”
His puppy bumps his head on your leg, as if asking you to tuck him in too. And being the adorable puppy he is, how could you not?
After giving him a few belly rubs, you place the sleepy puppy beside Megumi and you smile at how they instinctively cuddle close.
But then you hear Megumi mumbling again.
You lean down to hear him better but you get startled when strange movements appear from the shadows.
And it lets out a tiny bark.
“What in the name of-”
It stepped into the light and there you see another puppy, with its fur as dark as the night itself. The little puppy tilts its head in curiosity.
Another one of Megumi’s shikigami manifested.
“Come here, little guy.” You beckon him closer and the puppy, though still wary, the puppy comes closer to you. It sniffs your hand before it places its bottom on the wooden floors with a thump and wags its tail happily.
“Aren’t you adorable?” You pick up the puppy to place him gently beside Megumi. The puppy seemed to recognize Megumi well as he dug into the blanket. Although his body seemed relaxed, his ears were perked up, listening. “Watch over Megumi, little guard dog.”
You scratch behind the puppy’s ear before you make your way out.
The corridor was as dimly lit as you remember.
Only the sound of your getas can be heard along with the soft crackling of the burning wicks.
In an atmosphere like this, you would not be surprised if you come face to face with curses any minute. The entire estate house is swarming with powerful jujutsu sorcerers but the place is also not a stranger to violence and grief.
With that thought in your mind, your skin crawls when you hear the distant bawling. The voice so tiny yet so shrill, and so broken.
You come to realize that it was a voice of a little girl who was crying for help.
Trying to convince yourself that it was just your imagination, you wrap your arms around yourself as you take a careful step forward.
Still, the crying never ceased as it continued to echo on the walls of the corridor, only getting louder and louder.
“It hurts,” the voice continues to cry, “don’t put us there.”
The hair on your nape stands on end when the voice only gets clearer and clearer and now, it is accompanied by slow but heavy footsteps and the soft crunching of starched kimono as it drags along the floor.
Scared out of your wits, you can only hug yourself tighter as you screw your eyes shut.
Make it go away!
“Father, please.” The voice continues to beg and you can only imagine what happened to the little girl to sound exactly like she does right now.
She was…is clearly hurting.
“I promise Maki and I will never go there again! Please, father.”
At the mention of the name, you snap your eyes open.
The voice. Was it Mai?
It can’t be her voice, it sounded too hoarse and scratchy-
Without thinking about the possible consequences, you run to the next corridor and there you see them.
Ogi Zenin is dragging his twin daughters by their hair. Mai was the only one who was conscious, but her face looked beaten up. Her left eye is all swollen up and one of her front teeth is missing as the rest of her once pearly white teeth are stained in blood.
Maki. Maki was limp, her eyes were open but they were rolled back, her lids swollen.
You recall a distant memory of how a servant had his hands chopped off by Ranta for a misunderstanding and he comments on how the man was lucky that it was not Ogi who saw him. But you may understand if Ogi is able to give such dire punishment to other people, but surely not to his own daughters!
Gathering up your courage, you step forward. “Ogi-san, where are you taking them?” You tried to form a smile, but it comes out strained.
The man halts his movements, clearly not amused by the interruption, he glances at you from his shoulders. “Disciplinary pit.”
You remember hearing about it from Chiyo.
It is a place deep in the Zenin estate house where they keep curses up to grade two. It was no place for little girls!
They can get killed in there.
Mai begs you with her eyes but no words come out of her trembling lips.
“Please unhand the girls.” You spoke loudly, your voice gentle but you showed him no sign of hesitation.
You are in a lair of monsters, you remind yourself.
Any sign of weakness and they will exploit that until nothing is left of you.
The old man glares at you with his cold dark eyes.
“Do not interfere with how I discipline my daughters, wench!” He spits at you.
Instead of bowing your head like how you were taught, by his wife, you raise your chin to look down on him.
“I am the daughter by law of the master of this house and the wife of his heir. You are never to speak to me in such manner or-”
It happened all too quickly.
One moment he was in a considerable distance from you and next, he was striking you down to the floor.
You lift yourself by your forearm and wince when you feel your lip tingle before you feel something warm oozing down from it.
“It seems like your father failed to teach you anything about respect. I wouldn’t mind doing it for him.” He sneers before he grabs a fistful of your hair and starts dragging you back to his daughters.
It burns, he fists your hair in a hold that has some of the strands snapping.
“Let go of me!” You scream. “You can’t do this to me!”
He ignores you and continues walking. Your nails dig on his wrinkly scarred hand but his hold does not loosen even for a moment. Ogi stops only to pick up Maki and with a sharp glare sent to Mai, she follows soon enough.
Your pristine kimono gets dragged on the floor, the fabric mopping the layer of dust, threads loosening when snagged to splinters. One of your getas comes off when you struggle.
“I will let you stay for a bit in the disciplinary pit to dampen your fire.” He speaks. “That shitty excuse of an heir that you speak of is not even capable of keeping his wife in cheek, how is he to govern the largest region of the empire?”
You sob in pain when Ogi comes to a halt and slams you on the hardwood of the door.
Mai immediately runs to your embrace as you listen to the heavy keys jingling.
And you smell it before anything else.
The smell of death and rot reaches you, the putrid smell makes your eyes water.
And then you hear them.
The hushed and scratchy voices of the curses. Their words inaudible as they come out gurgled. They hid in shadows but you saw long fingers and longer nails that promised to eviscerate with one swipe. Bloodshot eyes stared at you from below, hungry gurgly growls from snapping jaws awaiting to tear your flesh from your bones.
Your mouth turns bone-dry, throat tightening as bile rises to your throat. “You c-can’t leave us here, if…if Naoya-sama hears of this, you will never-”
He spits at the floor and it narrowly misses your hand and throws Maki inside the disciplinary pit before kicking you and Mai in. You quickly grab both girls before any of them can stumble down the steep stairs. “He is an incompetent child, with a wife who is just as useless.”
“Naoya-sama will make you regret this!” You seethe at him. “May your soul be damned to the deepest trenches of the Crimson Sea”
Ogi throws his head back as he laughs in pure malice, an unnerving sight for a man who appeared to have no sense of humor. You bare your teeth at him, eyes so full of wrath that your blood boils hot.
“I look forward to i-”
But before he can finish, a crashing sound resonates and your hair slips from the bun as a whooshing impact goes over your head.
You look behind you and there at the bottom of the stairs, Ogi lies as a pile of rubble surrounds his twitching body.
Mai lets out a breath of pure relief when she too sees the state of her own father, at the slight moment of letting her guard down, her exhaustion takes over, Mai’s eye rolled back as she collapses in your hold.
When you feel a firm grip on your arms, you flinch and try to pry them off and they let you. A muffled voice kept on telling you to breathe, reminding you that you are no longer in harm’s way. But your ears are still ringing and you feel as if your head is underwater, the voice is nothing but garbled noise.
Gentle calloused hands cradle your face. It feels like taking your first breath out of the water as the ringing subsides and the person’s voice becomes clear and your eyes refocus.
You see your husband’s frantic expression, his hands unsure if he should hold you or let go, not wanting to scare you further. “I’m here. You’re safe.” His voice does not waver and you know his tongue is slick with lies but now, you believe him with your heart.
A tall shadow looms over you and you look up to see Naobito walking in, with his usually carefree expression looking a little grim. “You went a little too far, brother.” He stops at the edge of the stairs. “You dare lay a hand on my expecting daughter?” His bellow rang on the entire room and the sound of the whimpering and yelps of curses retreating to the shadows reach your ears.
“What did I tell you? His honor is nonexistent.”
You don’t have to look to see that it was Toji. The flutter of his clothing was heard and his heavy steps descended, going deeper and deeper into the disciplinary pit.
“The twins, we need t-to help them. They’re badly hurt.” You clutch Naoya’s collar to bring his attention to you.
But Naobito spoke before him. “Don’t even worry about anything else, Y/N. I’ll see to it that they will be taken care of.” He cradles the twins on each of his arms before turning his back on you. The storm in his eyes betrayed his calm voice.
Naoya brushes his finger on your popped lip, making you wince. He grits his teeth and scoops you up in his arms, hoisting you closer so your chests touch.
Toji drags a barely conscious Ogi by his feet and his head bumps the edge of every step going up the stairs. Toji looks up to meet your eyes, as if expecting you to say something about it but at that moment, you could not care less.
You press yourself closer to Naoya and you bury your face on his shoulder.
“Your head will roll the next time you lay a hand on my wife.” Naoya then turns around and steps out of the pungent room that reeked of despair and death, walking hastily to the opposite direction from your quarters.
“Naoya-sama, will you please take me to our room?” Your voice is trembling and barely above a whisper but Naoya heard you nonetheless.
“Not until the healer confirms that nothing is amiss.”
You lay your hand on his arm. “The babe and I are fine.”
Naoya meets your eyes and his brows sink to a worried frown attempting to be stern.
“I need to be certain.”
“I don’t wish to fight, bring me to our room.”
He holds your unwavering gaze with his own, it is visible how he battled with himself behind those stormy eyes and turns to the direction of your room without further argument.
Naoya is silent the entire time. You worry that he may be angrier than he lets on.
You know some ladies in the house would have blamed you for interfering with how Ogi disciplined his children. But you simply could not forgive yourself if you turned your back on the twins.
Maki cannot see the curses, she won’t even know how to defend herself. And even if she did, she was too broken to do anything. Then there’s Mai who looked scared out of her wits when she caught a glimpse of what awaited at the bottom of the stairs.
It’s sickening, how women are treated in this place.
Once you make it inside your room, Naoya sits you on your bed and he paces before you.
He runs his hand over his mouth clearly distressed.
“The twins were found in the underground cursed warehouse.” He starts but he gets no response from you. “Father and I saw their mother there, looking distraught and dazed.”
You still refuse to look up. No matter what reason he tells you, it cannot justify how the twins were beaten and subjected to being put in the disciplinary pit. It was as good as being sent to their deaths.
“Wife, talk to me.” He demands, his voice rising.
“What do you want me to tell you?” You raise your voice at him. “That I am tired of this place? That I am so exhausted from being scared all the time? That I wish to leave and go home?”
“This is your home.” He argues.
With eyes shut tight, you grit out, “This place has never been my home! You made sure of that.”
You wait for him to match your flaring temper, but Naoya fell silent.
Too silent that you had to check if he is still in there in the room with you. And indeed, he is. But the sight of him made your breath hitch.
He is breathing heavily. His eyes are glossy as his nose and lids are starting to burn red.
“I swallowed my pride and apologized to you, and I can do it again and again. But how many more times will you have me begging at your feet? How many times will you make me feel small?”
You scoff, rising from the bed. “You have no right to make yourself the victim.”
Naoya shakes his head, his eyelashes glistening with the dampness that refused to be shed. “I am not! I feel hopeless, I keep on trying and trying but none of the things that I do are enough for you.”
“It is not easy for me to- what are you doing? Naoya-sama, stop this instant!”
Women have little to no rights in the Zenin household. Your only job is to serve and to give heirs. In this household, men are gods.
But why is your husband, the heir himself of the Zenin clan, kneeling in front of you?
You rush to him, trying to pull him up but he tugs his arms back as he brings his head lower and lower but before it reaches the tatami, you place your soft palms beneath to cushion his head.
“Wife, I will not justify what I did. I was gravely mistaken. I care not of what your station is in this household. I did things out of selfishness. I failed to understand how marriage means putting an end to some delights that might harm you. I made vows to you in front of the gods and still failed to be your keeper.” His voice breaks but he swallows tightly. “I failed you.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I once more beg for your forgiveness.”
“Naoya-sama, please raise your head.” You plead, chest tightening at the sight of him. No. No. No. You can’t bear it.
He lets you cradle his face as you kneel before him too, much to his dislike, and breaks his dogeza with startling swiftness.
“Wife, don’t. You’ll hurt your knees.” Naoya gets on his feet and lifts you in his arms the second time that day. He sat you on the edge of the bed and he resumed his kneeling position before you, but this time he is sitting on his ankles.
You crack a smile when he lands a feather light peck on your knees. He reaches and grabs your hands to kiss the plump flesh of your palms. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” He whispers and kisses. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” Kiss. “Please forgive me.” Kiss.
You laugh lightly, even though tears start to stream down your cheeks.
“Naoya-sama, you fool. Why would you kneel just for this?”
He gives you a smile and rests his head on your lap. You gently run your fingers on his locks as his arms wrap around your waist.
“I’m tired of fighting. I want us back.”
You lift his chin up and you caress his jaw. “I’m willing to try again.”
He stares at you for a good second. His head buffering as he tries to process your words. And he beams, eyes so full of joy and relief. Finally. Finally. “I swear it by the sacred red waters, I will be a better man for you and our little one.”
You pull his arms off you and apprehension flashes in his eyes.
“It’s alright, I just want you to show you something.”
Naoya straightens up as you rest his palms on your growing belly. You close your eyes to bring yourself to focus, drawing long even breathes, you let your gift emanate from your palms to Naoya’s.
The gift of life.
A faint glow appears before Naoya’s eyes and when all his senses dull, he looks up at you in caution but you are trying hard to center your attention on the act, your brows furrowing and eyes still shut close. He hesitates for a moment but he too shuts his eyes.
It was like submerging under water. Your cursed energy hums in his ears like a ripple of current but peaceful.
All of sudden, Naoya hears the muffled thumps.
“Can you hear, Naoya-sama?” You whisper joyfully, your voice so hushed that he almost misses it.
He nods, unwilling to speak nor open his eyes, afraid that he’d lose this moment if he breaks his focus.
This is his child’s heartbeat.
First, it was faint, then it was all he could hear. The sound gets louder and louder until he feels it on the palm of his hands. He feels the vibrations traveling up his arms and he sees.
He sees the blurry figure. He sees how the shape takes form.
“A son.” He hears you whisper once more and he can only nod as tears start to seep from his eyes.
Naoya is untroubled by whether the child is male or female. A son. A daughter. All he can think about is how happiness has filled what he did not know was empty.
He sniffs as he sharpens his focus and tries to see more and he does. He saw how his son curls up in his mother’s warmth.
Naoya’s shoulders shake as he openly sobs as he presses his lips on your stomach.
He was baffled by how swift his reason for living can change. Naoya makes decisions only for his benefit. He lives solely for himself, but at that moment.
He lives for you and the child that you carry.
As you bask in the bliss with your husband, unbeknownst to you, the hydrangea on a certain vase by the windowsill was long gone and was replaced by a single stalk of gladiolus.
hiiiii I would try to publish this week. It's longer compared to the past few chapters and I read through little by little per day. I'm so sorry for the late updates you guys, just started practicing my profession and I've been feeling drained kinda but I will publish as soon as I can🫶🏼
Chapter Synopsis: You learn how tides are about to change for the worse.
Warning: brief chapter
Word Count: 2565
Chapter 8
Map of the Empire
The Battle of the Crimson Sea. Twenty-four years ago, a jujutsu sorcerer who was blinded by power turned into a cursed spirit and scourged the empire. A natural disaster, if they were to describe him. No warrior stood a chance in battling him. Wherever he went, blood trailed after him. Villages were destroyed, one after the other. The husbands, slaughtered. Their wives, taken. Their children, orphaned.
It was then, great Lords from the three regions across the empire decided to form a truce and fight as one.
Many other houses joined and the Lords fought back-to-back, defending not only their own lives, but also their new found allies.
The battle took place on the unfortunate lands of the citadel. The island, once a paradise of fertile soil and the home of the archives that held the empire’s history, was stained red as it drank the blood of the fallen soldiers. It kept drinking and drinking, it never stopped until no patch of land was unstained with red, and finally, its greed bled. The ocean around it ceased from being blue and turned a deep shade of crimson.
Many heroes and martyrs were carried and embraced by the Crimson Sea. Its blood tides becoming a cursed reminder and a symbol of sacrifice.
It was barely considered a victory for the Lords. The battle had them witness their friends and sons be murdered before their eyes, but still, it was the shared horrors and the comradeship that paved the way for the healing of the empire.
The other Lords who fought alongside the three great Lords swore their alliances one by one and when time comes that their services will be needed, come what may, they will stand with them.
Which is why, the heads of the Maru, Inumaki, Tsukumo, and Hanamura were all gathered in the Zenin council room. The lords of the western region, Ajisai, coming to answer the call of their Liege Lord.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in the gathering?” You ask the man beside you who is too busy doing nothing.
“That place reeks of old man smell right now.” Toji drawls.
You snort, chucking your fan at him. “Some men have their tongues cut out for lesser insult!”
He turns to his side, his arm now supporting his head. “Like you don’t think the same.”
“Both my father and Lord Inumaki sent their eldest sons, and Lady Tsukumo represents her house.” You point out. You met them earlier that day. Your brother, appeared to be in a state of worry and wanted to ride back north as soon as he could, his wife was feeling under the weather, he says. “And I would have you know, my husband does not stink of old people.”
He raises a brow. “You’d know, huh.”
Your cheeks blaze and you glance at him from the corner of your eye.
He never did change after all these years. Toji seems as laid back as he was when he crashed in your estate house back when he worked as a mercenary.
Your father, for some reason not once did turn him away. The previous head of the Zenin clan, who was Toji’s father apparently had good ties with your family.
“I need to ask you something. It is unusual for the Lords of the realm to gather in such short notice.” You sip from the tea that Chiyo prepared for you. “Are we heading to war?”
Toji pops an eye open to look at you before closing it again. “Seems like it.”
“With whom? Is this somehow related to the purpose of Gojō-san’s visit?”
Toji scrunches his nose, a smirk playing on his lips. “I never knew you were so formal when addressing that bastard.”
“He’s the head of his clan, I would never wish to overstep my bounds.”
“I don’t think he’ll mind.” He sits up and glances at Megumi, who was trying to train his demon dogs alongside Yuuma. The teen got along well with the twins, you figured that it would be best to have him accompany Megumi. “But this is a completely different matter. However, the results of this dispute may decide the outcome of that other problem.”
He tells you about the uprising in the house Fujita and the unusual happenings in the citadel regarding a cult that worships Sukuna. Your throat tightening up with every revelation, your stomach coiling for what it could mean for you and your family up north.
Nothing was ever revealed to you in this house. Of course, the world could burn but you would remain clueless in this oppressive walls. You would die ignorant if they can help it.
For years, after the battel that tainted the land of the Citadel, Sukuna’s followers spent their lives in hiding, but recent evidence has led them to believe that they are gathering what was left of their master. His fingers.
However, the Emperor himself lives in the Citadel. Even though the Emperor acts only as a figurehead and has no real power over the empire, gathering forces to charge to the Citadel without tangible evidence can only be interpreted as an act of treason.
The Emperor may hold no power but he is not stupid. The man forged alliances with other empires to come to his aid if needed be.
You roughly understand the circumstances. If Satoru traveled to your estate, it would mean that the fight is in a scale that his house cannot win alone. And having a united front, with all the regions fighting together, this would be seen as the empire defending itself and not the Gojō clan, leading an assault to the Citadel. The Emperor will have no choice but to listen.
“Toji-san, is it possible to negotiate with the Fujitas? It is not smart to use up our resources and pit our men together before a possible fight in the Citadel.”
“Your husband already solved that. Instead of fighting with the Fujitas head-on, well corner them in the southern mountain pass and kill them off there. It’s too optimistic to believe that we won’t have any casualties but it’s the best option that we have.”
You grit your teeth in anger. “Is he mad?”
Toji raises his brow at you.
Steadying your breath, you attempted to calm yourself. “Twenty-four years ago, the King of Curses was only defeated because the Lords of the empire fought together. All of them.” With your fists clenching, you give him a determined look. “We need to convince Lord Fujita to put an end to this uprising. I can talk to him. The last thing we need is for us to start fighting amongst ourselves.”
Toji nods, and you are glad that he agrees with you.
“It’s refreshing.” He chuckles.
You bristle, “What is?”
“I’ve lost faith in humanity long ago but talking to naïve people like you sure is refreshing.”
Naï-
“What did you just call me?”
Megumi stops in his tracks, making Yuuma bump and fall on top of him. But Little Megumi couldn’t even complain as his attention turned back to you.
It is unusual for a lady to be raising her voice after all, especially in the Zenin estate.
“I meant no disrespect, the word I should have used is innocent.” Toji chuckles.
You lift your chin in an attempt to stare him down. “Well, I’m sorry for not wanting people to die.”
Toji rubs his chin and the look of amusement never left his face. “Look, Y/N, I’m not blaming you. You’ve been sheltered your entire life after all. But talking to Lord Fujita? How do you even plan to accomplish such deed? There is no way that Naoya would agree to that.”
“Who said anything about bringing Naoya into this?”
You rise and Toji looks away in respect when he saw a peek of your ankles when you lift your kimono. You need longer socks.
“I’m going to talk to Lord Fujita, myself.” You stand before him, brimming with determination. “And you are going to help me.”
Sweat slides down your temple as you await his reply.
He lets out an exasperated sigh, rising to his feet to glower down at you. “Do you have a death wish, Y/N?” His voice was dangerously low and the setting sun had his hair casting a shadow that dimmed his eyes.
“I just-…I don’t want anybody to die.” You say barely above a whisper.
Toji slings his arm on your shoulder and guides you deeper into the garden, to the direction of the koi pond.
“I know. Not just the soldiers and your brother but also your husband, I presume?”
Your tongue weighs heavy.
"I heard about this...quarrel that you had with your husband."
"Quarrel that I have with my husband."
“I took Megumi and his mom away from this place because of how people of this house would look at us.” Toji starts, and you don’t respond, not knowing why he is telling you this as he leads you to the semicircular footbridge that goes over the pond, away from the kids. “But I saw the way he looked at you. It’s different. Your husband longs for you."
You scoff.
“Just as much as you long for him.” He adds.
That had you stilling in your steps.
“The first year is always the hardest. Lots of adjustments, lots of misunderstanding-”
“It's more than just a misunderstanding! He slept with her and-”
“Oh, but it is a misunderstanding. He never touched her that way since they sent the letter, asking for your hand."
You look at him in shock. "But she was-”
“Sucking his cock, I know. But Naoya never went further with her.”
“You don’t know that.” Your voice came out as a whisper. It does not justify.
“Of course, I do. He told me so himself.”
Toji’s arm falls from your shoulder when you shake it off.
“And you believed him?”
“I can read people well, that is how great I am.” He yawns and leans on the railings of the bridge. “Three bottles of Kamo wine might have helped a bit too.”
“It doesn't matter. He still betrayed me.” You say stubbornly.
“You need to cut him some slack, little bird. This place creates monsters, just imagine how that would be for Naoya. It's unfair to judge him when he never knew anything better.”
“That is not an excuse!” You jab a finger on Toji’s chest but he remains unfazed. You cannot believe he is defending your husband. “I thought you are my friend.”
“I am. But I don’t think you’re hurt because of the idea of your dumb husband’s betrayal. But rather because you feel something for him. And you are wounded after knowing that he does not feel as you do.”
With your face heating up, you look away from him to try and hide your embarrassment, no matter how futile it may be.
Heaving a sigh, you lean on the bridge and watch how the kois swim so gracefully below you, the soft breeze makes the lily pad glide gently on the water surface.
“That is unfair. I don’t-”
“Quiet down for a bit.”
Toji pushes himself off the bridge railing, his nose lifted in the air.
“Is something wrong?”
His brows are drawn together but he gives you a carefree smile anyway. “I thought I sniffed a filthy mouse lurking around. I got to go check.”
Before he takes his leave, you grabbed his arm.
“When will the war against the Fujitas take place?”
Toji raises a brow at you. “The Fujitas are careful in keeping the information in the south. But by the state of the preparations they had, maybe in a week or two.”
You don’t have much time left.
“I’m going, Toji-san. If you won’t help me, then I’ll figure it out myself.” You drop his arm and you turn away to tell him that you are done with the conversation.
You don’t hear him walking away but you can tell that he is no longer standing behind you.
A small splash is heard from below and you look and see a koi’s tail as it disappears under the surface. You sigh as you slide to take a seat on the bridge.
The moon is already starting to rise, and darkness soon envelops the estate.
If you wanted to help, put a stop to this war then you should be planning your next move. Toji seems unlikely to help you. You will have to go ask help from someone else.
Your brother is definitely out of the question. He is not the most affectionate sibling but he will definitely not be sending you to a man who is determined to start a war with your new family.
Yuuma is just a kid. You doubt he’ll be able to help you, and you did not want to drag him into this.
Chiyo may know people who can help you but you know that you will probably hear her scolding instead of an actual advice.
The sound of getas against the wooden bridge reaches your ears and by the pace of the footsteps, you already know who’s coming.
“You and my cousin seem to be getting along well.”
“What brings you here, Naoya-sama?”
His hakama flutters as he comes to stand next to you. “You like him?”
You roll your eyes. “Of course, I do. I knew him since I was a kid.”
Naoya runs his tongue on his canine before he joins you on the floor.
His knee bumps into yours and he heaves a heavy sigh.
“You enjoy spending time with the male visitors awfully lot.”
“I do.” You answer without hesitation. Satoru and Toji are both good friends of yours and to be fair, you knew them way longer than you know your husband.
Naoya looks up and you also glance to see stars littering the night sky.
The soft murmur of muffled conversation from inside the estate house reaches your ears. You wonder why your husband is out there with you in the garden. As the heir of the clan, he should be in there, forming stronger ties with the other Lords.
“Did you know that we become stars when we die?” He says quietly.
You remain silent and await for him to continue.
“Turn her into stars and form a constellation in her image. Her face will make the heavens so beautiful that the world will fall in love with the night and forget about the garish sun.”
Your lips part as you forget how to breathe for a moment. Never did it cross your mind that your husband would read poetry books.
“Are you trying to romance me, Naoya-sama?”
He chuckles. “That depends, is it working?”
You bite your lip to suppress the smile that crept on your lips. You hate how easily your defenses crumble for him.
“Wife,” he calls and you hum in response, “Do you think that I would not know?”
“Know what, Naoya-sama?”
He turns to you and he gently pulls you to face him. His eyes are stormy, with a thousand emotions hiding behind them.
Naoya gives you a forced smile before he slips his hands under the sleeves of your kimono to drag his warm rough hands against your arm before he settles in holding your dainty hands.
Holy airball! Just finished reading chapter 7 immediately after coming home. Had a really long day, and I've been so stressed because of our surprise thesis mock defense a few hours ago.
This made my day, I plan on reading your other stories starting with the one you recommended most once my thesis group settles down, haha.
And great chapter btw! I was so interested with the world building and learning about the other tribes/clans (humanities student heree)
Keep up the good work, and good luck with your manuscript!
— 🌻 anon
surprise thesis mock defense??? why surpriseee that must've been so stressfullll I hope it went fine, and I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I'm so sorry it took too long to update, was just never home this week, so busy! But so glad I was able to find time today
askshjdgfhas most of the other series are light writing though like there's not a lot of plot going on and most has like a different vibe from this one, I don't know if you will like it but give it a try in your free time. If you're into power struggles and dark feminine vibes, the one with Coriolanus is the way to go, if you're looking for a vibe kinda like the Komorebi series, the one with Gojo is a good one. If you're into more modern angsty stories, I have two series starring Rafe Cameron (which was super fun to write, but not much plot just vibes)
thank you so much for reading and I wish you luck with your thesis as well!
Chapter Synopsis: You learn how odd a man can be when he trying to earn forgiveness.
Word Count: 4747
Chapter 7
“You’re up early.” You murmur as you place the tea tray on the bedside table.
It has been a day-to-day routine for you to bring him his tea before he rises to avoid talking to him. But if you think that he does not know that you are doing it on purpose, you are wrong.
He thought of changing his waking time just to spite you but decided against it when he recalled Gojō’s words, but today, he wanted to catch you first before you go and tend to your chores.
Naoya rubs his eyes, reaching behind his pillow as you pour him a cup of tea.
“Wife, come here for a moment.”
He pats the space beside him and you indulge him by doing as he says, setting down the warm pot of tea back by the table.
Naoya reaches and traces his index finger around your wrist, grabs it gently to bring it to his lips. Your mouth part lightly when he meets your eyes.
He places the softest kiss on the inside of your wrist. You only break your gaze when you feel him put something on your palm.
“This is the third gift that you got me this week.” You sigh as you pop open the lid of the box. “It’s only Tuesday.” It has been his way of trying to knock on the heart you closed. Gifts.
There, you find an array of seeds in different colors and shapes, separated with thin layers of wood.
“I figured you’d want those, considering that your garden got flooded.” Naoya says as he reaches for his cup of tea. “There’s seedlings for yellow roses in there.” He clears his throat. “Was told you like ‘em.”
From all the gifts that he’s been showering you since the previous month, this has got to be the only one that is not completely unnecessary. Unlike the new hair ornament that weighs like a ton when clipped on your head, an absurdly large deep green emerald sits in the middle of it or the gold rimmed tea cups that was purchased from a neighboring empire. Not even the heavy kimonos with embroidery so fine you spent an hour to look at all the patterns sewn.
“Thank you.” You say and place the lid back on.
He watches you as he sips his tea. “That’s it?”
You raise a brow. “Whatever do you mean by that, Naoya-sama?”
Naoya grumbles and places the now empty tea cup on your hand before ripping the sheets off him to head to the bathroom.
“You wait there, wife.” He calls from behind the shoji followed by splashing water and you can only sigh.
Not having anything else to do, you stand up to replace the wilted hydrangea on the vase by your windowsill. Sunrays bathe its petals, making it seem to glow. Not wanting to be stationary, you head to your vanity to reapply the perfume that you wore that morning.
It was another gift from Naoya, one that is also welcomed.
After putting the bottle down, you check yourself from the mirror. The bump on your stomach is definitely there, not enough to be noticed in passing, but if one were to really pay attention, it is indeed visible. You wonder if you can somehow substitute your tight obi with something more comfortable and forgiving.
A soft breeze rushes from the opened window, making the parchment placed on your vanity to flutter. It has been quite a while since you wrote a letter to your mother. You can kill time now knowing that your husband will be taking a while to finish bathing. You grab a brush and ink from Naoya’s desk and sat back down on your vanity to write the letter.
The unending storm that lasted for weeks has caused quite a problem in the western area of the Zenin estate. You wonder how the Hanamura fief is doing. You also tell your mother about the lavish gifts from your husband, making it sound like the two of you are so fond of each other to make it unsuspicious. You add in a request for her to send a jar of candied peach that your nanny used to make for you and your older brother when you were young.
But you never mention the reason behind such request.
After reading through your letter to make sure that there is no trace of melancholy in your words, you place the parchment on an envelope and pour the melted wax over the folded apex and press your seal on it.
You fear that your father might send his army marching down to the Zenin estate if he so much as catch wind that you are unhappy. And your pregnancy. It was not the right time to tell them, you figured. Besides, the letter can fall to the wrong hands and you wanted to tell Naoya yourself, you just haven’t found the right time to do so.
“You’re having breakfast with me this morning.”
You startle, standing up swiftly from your seat and clasp your hands together, trying to look unsurprised. You did not hear him come out of the bathroom. You turn just in time to see Naoya fixing the ties of his hakama. He learned to do it himself after you did not show up to help him every morning. His shoulders and biceps strain against the thin fabric of his kimono, accenting the bulges and crevices. You clear your throat and look away as you curse yourself for your sudden attention to detail.
“As you wish, Naoya-sama.” You say politely and bow your head.
He clicks his tongue at your actions but chooses not to say anything and head out, with you just a few steps behind him.
You are acting like a servant. It displeases him.
Naoya surprises you by waiting for you to pass through the shoji to slide it close himself. He makes eye contact with you before starting to lead the way. You figured that you will not be heading to the dining room as women are not allowed to join the men on their table, and you are most definitely certain that your husband will not be joining you in the ladies dining area.
“Well done, Chiyo.”
You look up from your feet and see Chiyo handing a basket to Naoya.
Chiyo bows to him and throws you a wink before she excuses herself.
“I asked Chiyo to prepare our breakfast.” He won’t lie, he was disappointed when you did not ask and just accepted his whims. He wanted to at least have a conversation about the mundane. Naoya did not hear a response from you after that but he did find a curious look on your face when he looked at you from his shoulder.
You follow him out of the house and through your garden. You feel even more suspicious when he offers a hand once you reach the steps that lead you out of the garden. And to spite him, you grip your kimono and raise them up as you descend the steps by yourself.
Naoya hides his displeasure and lowers his hand.
You would not be surprised if the stars will come falling down when he slows his pace to walk beside you.
He did not miss your narrowed guarded stare.
“What?” He grumbles.
Humming, you look away from him. “You are acting odd. Are you, by any chance, dying?”
His nose flared and considered giving you an earful but he never did, instead he took a deep breath. “Wife-”
“I fear you might be possessed.” You comment, to which he just rolls his eyes at before something catches his attention.
“I’m not possessed. And certainly not dying, sorry to disappoint you.” He says before bending close to a hibiscus bush and snapping one flower off and tries to hand it to you. You glance at it and to his neutral eyes not making a move to accept it, making him sigh. “Look, Y/N. I’m trying.”
A tendril of your hair comes loose from your bun when a rather strong breeze sweeps past you.
You still won’t take the flower, Naoya reaches to smoothen your hair back and slips the hibiscus behind your ear to pin the hair.
“There.” He lightly pinches your chin and turns your head from side to side, the sides of his mouth quirking up. “It compliments your eyes, wife. Dare I say, it looks appealing on you.”
His grin does not waver when you lightly slap his hand away and continue your walk ahead.
“I’m hungry.” You say.
Naoya catches up to you and grabs your hand, grin still plastered on his face, feeling victorious in wooing you just a little.
You take in the damp morning air and close your eyes, trusting that your husband will guide you. It’s not everyday that you get to stroll around the estate house in early mornings.
“Your hand servant no longer works here.” He utters, like he’s just talking about the weather. “Wanted to kill her to just get it over with, but I figured you wouldn’t like that.”
Your temper flares and you rip your hand from his and put on the mask that you have learned to wear for quite some time now.
“It would be best if we stray off that topic, Naoya-sama.”
You wanted to slap yourself for thinking that relaxing in his presence was ever a possibility, he is Zenin Naoya after all.
Gone was the calm and light atmosphere and you can tell how Naoya’s mood soured by the pinch of his eyebrows. He was regretting springing the topic, his hard earned attempt at reconciliation broken once more.
“We’re here.”
You look up and find yourself in a meadow filled with wildflowers over grass so green you almost feel the life from it.
It has been months since you have arrived in the Zenin estate house and you made sure to get yourself familiar with the estate but you have never been here before.
Naoya places a hand on your lower back to guide you under the shade of a birch tree. There, you help him lay out the blanket from the basket.
“I recall you liked the Sakura mochi. We shall have that later.” He says while reaching inside the woven basket. “We have steamed rice from the Fujita paddy fields, grilled fish that was caught this morning, warm miso soup, and…many others. If you want, we can also start with fruit. What are you hungry for?”
You fall silent, not quite sure how you are supposed to respond. Naoya gave you quite a variety of options but none of them sounded appealing to you now. Although, there’s this one dish that you have been craving for since you woke up this morning.
“Do you happen to have, I don’t know.” your fingers pinch the silky fabric of your kimono, knowing how unconventional it is for a lady to ask for this specific food, “Ankimo?” You ask quietly as you look away from your husband who in your peripheral vision appeared to still be processing your words.
“…Ankimo. But we have a lot of other options-”
“I don’t want any other option.” Yes, right now at this moment you only want steamed monkfish liver.
Naoya scratches his head with his index finger as he shifts to dig through the basket. “I’d love for you to have it but I don’t think Chiyo would put something like- huh. There it is.”
You grin, kneeling closer to Naoya who is now closely watching how your eyes fill with excitement.
“Do you want anything else?” He asks as he offers you other food but you simply turn your nose away. “Are you feeling unwell?”
The chopsticks dig through your fingers when you press it hard. Of course, Naoya would notice your sudden shift of appetite.
“I am not ill.” You say as casually as you can, trying to keep your voice from betraying your words. Not a lie, not also the full truth.
“I sure hope so.” He says and reaches for the steamed rice.
Naoya is not particularly big on making small talks, most of the conversation that you have had were just him running his smart mouth or him just sweet talking you to bed.
“Which flower do you like most?”
You wonder just exactly how many times he is planning to give you a heart attack this morning. Why with this kind of mundane question? You are married, by the Crimson tides!
Trying to buy yourself some time, you take another bite, taking your sweet time, savoring it before swallowing. When you are certain that your voice will not waver, you answer and he hums in approval.
When he does not say anything else, you continue your meal, not trying to continue the conversation with him.
The silence, unfortunately, does not last very long.
“Well, aren’t you going to be asking me my favorite flower?”
“Cactus flower?” You blurt out.
You half expect Naoya to snap at you but he gives you a light and easy laughter instead.
“It is nice, having conversations like this.” He says. “But I’m afraid, you are wrong, my sweet wife.”
You only shrug at him, as you scoot closer to the basket to look for the sakura mochi he mentioned earlier.
“Pray tell, dear husband, what is your favorite flower?”
You are taken by surprise when he snatches your arm and pulls you close to him, making you straddle his lap. Your breath hitches in surprise at his raw strength and speed. He is satisfied of the reaction he got and leans down to whisper to your ear.
“The one between your thighs.”
A strangled gasp escapes your lips, making his chest quake as he chuckles. Amused, Naoya leans back to stare at your warm face, eyes twinkling in mirth at your appalled expression.
“Are you embarrassed, wife?”
You meet his condescending gaze. “You are as crass as I remember.”
“Oh, you wound me.” Naoya jokingly says, giving you a feign look of anguish, the hand that was previously wrapped around your wrist flies to clutch his chest dramatically.
Seeing your vexed expression, he clears his throat, though the smile on his lips never left.
“I’m not really interested in flowers.” Naoya stares up at the moving leaves of the birch tree as a soft breeze brush against them, allowing the sunlight to peek through. “But one scent of a specific flower seems to be clogging my senses lately.” Your brows slowly knit together when he meets your eyes, his expression soft and honest. “You smell like sweet pea, my wife.”
With your heart overwhelmed, you did not protest when Naoya shifts you closer to him until your chin rests on his shoulder and you are pressed flushed against him.
“I am sorry for hurting you. I really am.”
Naoya is a proud man. He has all the right to be, being the heir of his clan, an accomplished jujutsu sorcerer…and he is not particularly bad looking. For him, his actions equals to no consequences. Until you.
When he hears no response, Naoya loosens his hold on you, allowing you to lean back and look into his eyes.
He hesitates, thinking that his voice must have been too low for you to hear. “I said-”
“I heard you.” You cut him off. “I am just wondering how much of what you said was real.”
Naoya rests his forehead against yours. “Every word.”
The short breathy laugh that you gave him made his chest swell with pride, happy to finally get a positive reaction from you. Even more so when you land a peck on his jaw.
How he missed your show of affection.
He missed it since the very first morning that you did not greet him with a kiss. He missed it when you don’t wrap your arms around his waist as you tie his hakama. He missed it when you don’t ask him about his day as he joins you on your bed.
“Thank you for forgiving me.”
You stiffen in his hold.
“Y/N? You do forgive me, don’t you?”
It is one thing to accept and be flattered with his words and genuineness, but forgiving him is another, you are not certain if you can. At least not now. Time and distance from him allowed you to contemplate how you feel with the entire situation, it gave you the chance to heal on your own. You admit, you do miss him, so so much that it almost pains you having to intentionally steer off of your routine, for your sake and sometimes just to cross him.
When all he received was silence, Naoya finally understood the ache of baring yourself to a person, only to be hurt in return. But he has no one else to blame but himself.
“You don’t have to forgive me now.” He says so uncharacteristically soft.
It took him sometime to figure out how to be sensitive around people, thinking about others felt like a chore to him but he is glad that he went through the trouble of doing so if it meant that he is now more conscious of his words and actions around you. Giving him more chance to win you back.
“Thank you, Naoya-sama.”
He gives you one of his handsome smiles, but there is no trace of mischief in his eyes. “Anything for you, sweet pea.”
“Young Master!”
Naoya lifts you off him as he stands in front of you, quick to hide you from the man running to your direction, his clothes tell you that he does not belong to the hei unit nor the kukuru unit.
The man stumbles before he reaches you, fixing his fall to a dogeza, looking terrified.
“I apologize for disturbing your time with the Lady, but we have a problem.”
Naoya glances at you before looking back at the kneeling man. “What kind of problem?”
“In the front gate, Young Master, a man wishes- uh…demands to seek audience with the council immediately, and he might have knocked down a few of the kukuru on his way. He mentioned his name to be Fushiguro Toji.”
Naoya’s jaw clenches.
The council room was dead silent a few moments after Naoya received the news, the atmosphere so thick that every man present in the room can feel the weight on their shoulders.
All except for the man who just delivered the grim news.
If anything, he appears to be bored. Toji.
“Lord Fujita is one impulsive man but I never thought of him to be this stupid.” Chojuro Zenin says, with his smile dimming.
“We can send in my men and let them take care of it.” Nobuaki Zenin, the head of the kukuru unit, says proudly.
“But if what Gojō-san told us was true, then we cannot spare a single person.” Ranta argued, his eyebrows meeting angrily in the middle.
Jinichi clicked his tongue. “We should send in our men anyway. Destroy the rebellion and its ideals, root and stem.”
“Are you suggesting that we massacre an entire clan?” Naoya’s voice was dripping with venom, it was deep and almost guttural.
“What of it? If we kill off just the rebels now, give it a few years and their sons will start another coup. Better end this now, once and for all.” Jinichi challenged.
“Have you no honor, cousin?” Naoya raised a brow at Jinichi, his lip tugging to a daring smirk. “Besides, the Fujitas supply most of the grain in the empire, if we kill them all, we might even invoke the fury of other houses.”
“I always knew that you are a bunch of assholes but culling innocents and children.” Toji yawns as he places his elbow on his raised knee, shaking his head.
“Do not act as if you are above us, outsider. That is your line of work, you don’t discriminate between the old or the young, nor women or men. You are the least honorable man in this room.” Ogi spat at Toji, his eyes turning into slits.
Toji grins. “I am not trying to justify my sins but at least I don’t pretend otherwise, you on the other hand.”
Ogi’s vein on his forehead pops, his fist clenches. “Are you questioning my honor, Fushiguro?”
He says Toji’s last name with such venom, as if the very name holds a curse, further amusing Toji.
“It sickens me how all of you act like saints,” Toji shakes his head before meeting Ogi’s glower, “I am not questioning your honor, uncle. I’m denying its existence.”
Ogi made the move to lunge from his side of the table before a tea cup smashes against the table, making every head in the room turn.
“That is enough, don’t embarrass yourself even more, uncle.” Naoya warns Ogi then looking directly into the watchful gaze of his drunkard of a father.
“We simply cannot ignore that six eyed bastard’s words. The threat of Sukuna is real, but we also can’t dismiss this outright display of rebellion.”
“What are you suggesting, Naoya-san?” Ranta inquires, his thick brows rising.
“The estate house is a fortress itself. The sierras’ height is unforgiving and the warded perimeter of the forest is enough reassurance that no enemy shall strike from that direction. They may even be swallowed by the Wokou current before then if they tried.”
“If you’re done telling us about the things that we already know, you should perhaps begin sharing your wonderful plan now.” Jinichi grunts.
“Meathead, if you are using your brain, you should already know where this is going.” Naoya clicks his tongue. “If they decide to attack us in the seas, the Marus will sink their ships. If they go through southeast, the Inumaki troops are already stationed there, the Fujitas have shown great interest for their water source afterall.”
“They will have to use the path through the mountain pass.” Nobuaki nods his head as his index and thumb massages his chin.
Naoya blankly stares at him. “Oh look, he caught up.”
“So, we meet them there and fight?” Ogi asks with is voice still strained after his outburst not so long ago.
“No, stupid. Were you not listening? We can’t afford going on an outright war.” Naoya declares.
“The gods seemed to have been vexing our hic!...household alone with storms and refused to wrath his share to the otherouses. The dried-up grass in the mountain pass is a waiting braaap-hic! Oh, Bloodtides… firetrap.” Naobito chimes in, clearly drunk. Again. Whenever is he not?
“It’s too dangerous, we can start a wildfire if we do that.” Chojuro points out.
Naobito’s plan sounded easy yet reckless.
“That is true, indeed. I say, we dig trenches on the northern side of the pass. Their horses won’t be able to get through, it’s easy enough to kill a foot soldier with an arrow from on top of the mountains.” Naoya elaborates.
“They’ll just run back to their base, scared.” Ranta laughs.
Naoya hums, “Or to regroup.” Thinking that everything will go as they desire is too optimistic. He needs to consider all the possibilities of how the enemy might attack. “We must form a shield wall on the south and press on.” He adds.
Ogi’s brow twitched. “That’s exactly what I said earlier, about us marching down to fight them head on.”
Naoya looks at him in annoyance. “Going to the battlefield with an intention to clash or waiting to douse them off strategically are two different things. I am not saying that we will not lose men in this plan, but we can at least limit it as much as we can.”
Toji heaves a breath before rising from his seat. “I’m with the brat’s plan. They already lost the element of surprise, we got the upper hand.” He did not bother asking to be excused as he exits the room.
Murmurs of agreement can be heard from the room but he cannot be bothered to stay any longer as he ventures on the familiar corridors of the Zenin estate house.
It was not difficult for Toji to do so. He grew up in the said place. Meaning, he got the front row seat of the abuse of the clan. For years, he has been an object of ridicule for not possessing the same qualities as his family. But what he lacked in cursed energy, he made up with brute strength and wits.
For that reason, he decided to leave the clan to keep his family from their claws, the last thing that he wanted was to have his son go through the same childhood as him.
But his Megumi is different.
He truly believes so. Right when Megumi kicked his shin when he once refused the brat his desert, he knew. Not to mention, the endless potential of his curse technique.
“Old man!”
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Toji refuses to respond and continues walking.
An exasperated Megumi tugs at the yukata of his father. His feet dragging against the smooth flooring as he clings.
“Father, you giant oaf! You gotta help me out!”
Toji halts his steps, and he hears a muffled ‘omph’ from behind him.
“Oho? You need my help?” Toji gives his son a shit eating grin before crouching down to meet Megumi’s glare.
“I just, I can’t get my puppy back.” He scratched his head and looks away from his father. “He ran off to this lady, I was waiting for him to come back but he uh…kinda fell asleep.”
Toji rubs his chin, his grin still on his face. “So?”
Magumi rolls his eyes. “Go get him from her!”
“Why don’t you go do it?”
Toji laughs when Megumi gave him a look of pure horror, his face flushing beet red before violently shaking his head.
“Fine fine.” He ruffles Megumi’s spikey locks. “Where is this woman?”
“She’s on the back porch.”
Toji sighs and straightening back up, ignoring the tingling pain on his aging back, and started walking again, this time, on a mission to rescue the pups from this unknown dog thief.
“Why’d you summon your dog in the first place?”
Megumi grumbles, his little arms folding against his chest. “It’s because you took so long in there. I had nobody to play with. Thought you said it’ll be quick.”
Toji rests an arm on Megumi’s head. “Yeah, they’re being stupid and kept on jabbering, couldn’t just get away.”
“I hope they won’t destroy that wagashi shop in Fujita’s town though.” Megumi says as he slaps his father’s arm away. “They have good ginger tea.”
Megumi’s reason appeared to be that of a child’s but it weighs heavy.
“Yeah, I hope they won’t.”
Toji stops dead on his tracks when Megumi pulls on his clothes once more.
In the next turn, the entryway to the porch is open, revealing a woman in a light blue kimono, with her back turned to them.
“There she is!” He whispered harshly, eyebrows shooting up to his forehead to add emphasis, making him appear comical. “Remember, I don’t need you to threaten or to flirt with her, I just want my dog. Don’t be weird.”
Toji gives him a dramatic somber look and a nod. “Got it.”
Megumi hides behind the curve of the corridor as his father saunters off.
“You there! Just whose dog do you think you are cradling?” Toji barks in an overly demanding voice.
Megumi knew it was futile to ask his father to be normal. He slams his head on the wooden wall.
“Oh shit, little bird!”
Megumi lifts his head from the wall to see his father squishing the face of the lady, making him spring forward and pry his father away from the poor woman.
“You shitty old man, I told you not to be weird!”
Toji takes a step back and lifts his arm, taking along his scrawny seven-year-old kid who managed to land a kick to his side.
“By the Crimson Sea…Toji-san? And is this Megumi-kun?” The lady gasps.
Megumi stops his movements and hops off his father’s arm to look at her. “You know us?”
“Her name is Hanamura Y/N.” Toji laughs as he pulls something from the inside pocket of his kimono. He then reveals an inconveniently long, bruised and crumpled looking gladiolus, and hands it to her. “An old friend.”
Hello! I just wanted to say that life hasn't been easy right now for me and your Naoya fic has been my current motivation to push through. It may sound kind of dramatic, but I truly love your series and hope to achieve your kind of writing one day.
Ever since I've read the first chapter, I've fallen in love with the way you write the MC's feelings, experiences, her past, and most importantly, her present. I felt like I was truly in her place and could imagine every bit of detail you've put so vividly. I truly admire how you've constructed this and can't wait for more chapters! Every day, I would refresh Tumblr just to see if there's a new chapter out, haha.
Reading has been a joy to me and has been my only escape from my life, so I hope you could finish this story (even though you already said the fic has been in your drafts for a while), because I would love to read more of your next stories even after the Naoya fic is done. I wanted to thank you for being one of the reasons for my inspiration and motivation to read and hopefully write.
I may not comment or like your posts because I'm to shy to make myself be known, I was pretty reluctant to even send this to you lol. Because this is my first time ever to send an ask to the writer after using Tumblr and lurking around for 7 years. So once again, please continue your beautiful writing and hopefully find joy and the time to appreciate your gift as well. I'm moved by your story, and hopefully you continue this amazing piece. I know you might be busy with life, so please don't burn yourself out and remember to take care of yourself.
I may write again to you in the future, so just remember me as 🌻 anon. Apologies for the super long message, hehe.
oh my, you just made my day🫶🏼 I posted this series without expecting it could reach anybody after a really long hiatus in this app. Writer's block has been a btch and I am so glad I posted this despite it. Thank you so much for giving my story a chance, I really appreciate how you wrote this and reached out despite being shy.
If you want to write, I say just do it, especially when you have the motivation. Inspiration is a really difficult thing to hold on to so I recommend you write when you can. You don't have to post it if you're uncomfortable. My first stories were in unused notebooks, and all of them remained in a locked drawer, but it was still practice, and the first ones I published didn't even gain a lot of likes, they were mostly there because I had inspiration to write and so I did. If it helps, try to write for yourself. Find a genre you'd love to read, find a character you feel inspired by, even a playlist. It doesn't have to be long, doesn't have to be perfect, just write and write and you will get the hang of it. I haven't even perfected the art of writing myself, sometimes (okay most of the time) I still cringe at my own writing. So yeah, just go for it and worry about making it pretty later.
I would love to post again soon but I actually am trying to write a novel manuscript, but again, writer's block. If you're interested I actually have other finished mini series and fics for characters like Gojo, Eren, Rafe Cameron from Outerbanks, Miguel O'Hara from Spider-verse, and one of the mini series I was most passionate about was the one with Coriolanus Snow from TBOSAS. if you're interested, you can check out my library to see more hehe
Thank you so much for sending this ask, I know what it feels like to be a silent reader too hehe I've done it for years. I don't even know how to interact most of the time still but asks like this make me really happy.
I am so sorry for answering with a super long response ahahahahha🫶🏼
Hello there, I just wanted to say that your fic is amazing! Also, I wanted to ask if Naoya already knew that reader is pregnant? I mean, yes he saw the wheat but I still don't get it if he truly knows it or not...
hi! thank you so much for readingggg, the answer is going to be revealed in a few chapters hehe it's a secret for now but you know Naoya, he can play dumb and still have very keep observations...or dismiss it as a random plant you dropped during one of your hysterics episode
Chapter Synopsis: You learn how you ended up in hell.
Warning: talks of marriage alliance
Word Count: 4377
Chapter 6
“The meeting is taking longer than what was expected.” Chiyo murmurs as she sets your lunch beside you. “They also barred the servants from entering the war room.”
You begrudgingly take the bowl of soup from the tray, humming in response to Chiyo.
Pregnancy has been taking its toll on you lately. The meals that you previously enjoyed has become so distasteful that you can’t even stand the sight of them. The very reason why you decided to have you meal in the porch that face your flooded garden. It seemed to be the smarter option than sharing the same table with the other ladies and whatever fermented culinary specialty the cooks claim to be exotic and good for the humor.
“If Gojō-san traveled here himself, I’m certain they won’t mind pouring the tea for themselves for now.” You say.
A servant walked past, carrying fresh flowers in a tall vase. She didn’t even see you as she hauled the enormous ceramic, sweat beading on her temple. You look around and you see more guards patrolling even in the rain, visible and purposeful in their strides. The estate is livelier compared to its usual presence where guards and servants tried to blend in with the walls. No doubt this hasty change is brought by the unexpected visit of the generals and head of the Gojō clan. Every servant busied their hands to make the estate house pristine while the guests are still kept in the war room. And to make sure that Gojō Satoru had nothing to insult in the entire duration of his stay.
Gojō Satoru. How long has it been? If you remember correctly, the last time you’ve seen him is three years ago, on your seventeenth birthday. You longed to talk to him despite your frequent banters, but the urgency of his visit made it impossible. He was gone before you could come find him, for matters that remain unknown to you. But then again he is Gojō Satoru. And Gojō Satoru does things according to his whims.
Your eyes wander beyond the gardens and up to the misty tall walls surrounding the estate. You wonder what chaos is transpiring beyond them. Why was there no messenger hawks sent from the Gojō estate? Could they fear the message to be intercepted? Why not send an emissary, why must their clan head come in person to deliver a message to Naobito himself.
Chiyo bows and takes a step back, ready to tend to whatever it is that you may need. She no longer speaks so as to not disturb you but you can hear her clothes fluttering every now and then and her getas clunking against the floor as she shifts her footing.
Too often that she made it impossible for you to not notice.
You eat your soup in silence, the sound of the heavy rain already becoming a regular background noise.
Once finished, you return your bowl on the tray and wipe your hands on the folded cloth beside your now empty bowl.
“What is it, Chiyo?”
You hear her deep exhale.
“Everything is perfectly well, Y/N-sama.”
The look you gave Chiyo told her that you did not believe her even for one second.
“The thing is, Y/N-sama,” she pauses and you look at her from your shoulder. “I had a little too much miso this morning and-” Chiyo was interrupted by the grumbling of her stomach.
“You should have told me sooner.” You gasp. “Go ease your stomach.”
Chiyo did not waste a second more, bowing deeply and rushing to pick up your food tray, only leaving you your cup of water and daifuku.
“Please help yourself to my collection of tea, a warm cup will help you feel better.” You call as she rushes towards the shoji.
You slump back on your chair.
Without Chiyo to keep you company, you are completely alone.
It has been quite a while since you had tea with the twins, you can invite them over but you did not feel like exchanging pleasantries with their mother for now. She for sure is just waiting for an excuse to remind you of your duties as a wife of the next head of the clan.
Yuuma will gladly spend time with you if you ask him to join you in the porch but you don’t want to give the ladies another subject to gossip over.
As much as you would like to stare at the crying sky and listen to the falling rain, you felt rather limited just being seated there all day.
Trying to find anything to do, you recall that you haven’t been to your secret garden since the day that Aku pulled out the dahlias. That was a few weeks ago. Maybe now will be a good chance to go back, you thought to yourself as you begin to stand up.
“Lady Zenin, I will be assisting you today.”
A timid voice speaks behind you, making you fall back on the chair, startled. You compose yourself and turn to smile halfheartedly at the servant that was already standing behind you.
You should really announce your presence, you wanted to say.
“I’m fine. You can leave.” You stressed the last word as your brow twitch, your smile barely kept.
Sweat drips on her temple. “But, the Young Master has ordered us to help you-”
“I am not a cripple nor a child. You may leave.” You snap, smile no longer gracing your lips as you turn your back at her.
“A-At once, Lady Zenin.” Hurried footsteps and the shoji slidingshut were heard before you are alone with the rain once more.
You sit still and listen for any sounds that can indicate a hei spying on you. When you hear none at all, you leave your seat and walk to the edge of the porch, water droplets sliding from the roof and falling to the ground causing mud to splatter on your tabi socks. Socks embroidered with this cursed family’s banner color. The green patterns winding around gold made them look like snakes trying to crush each other to death.
You slip off your getas without much thought and lean against a post as you reach for your socks to get them off.
Your wriggle your toes against the worn damp wooden floor before letting one foot out of the porch, flinching when a freezing raindrop lands on your skin. You finally step out and the fabric of your kimono was quick to darken as rain soaks through. Your feet sink on the puddles and mud squishes through your toes.
Broken twigs stick up from the mud and you try to avoid them by stepping around them. It became more and more difficult as you near the forest.
And it seems like you weren’t the only one who is doing the same thing, only, they weren’t careful enough. Your husband really needed to train his men better.
The snap of the broken twig was almost drowned by the pouring rain but it sure did reach your ears. Stilling in your steps, you listen closer. There! The sound of wet mud, disrupted. Upon knowing where the person is, you take towards the opposite direction and bolt, hands clutching the heavy fabric that is weighing you down.
Your eyes fill with rain water but you could have sworn the trees soon start moving and roots conveniently give you a path as branches thicken behind you.
Wild flowers with soft petals thicken and make a footpath for you when the trees thin out.
At times like this, you wonder whether the gift of the Hanamura’s inherited gift has been passed to you or was it just mother nature favoring you. Or pitying you.
Your detour left you panting but you refuse to let the person know about your haven and only came when you were certain you are no longer being followed.
Suppressing your curse energy seems like the wise decision to make when you near the vine covered cave.
The thorny vines shy away from your touch, curling as your fingers near them and they part like curtains. Moist air inside the cave envelopes you when you once again find yourself inside it. You blink at the darkness but you know your way around.
It was the only thing that felt as if it was truly yours. It was not given to you by your husband, this place is yours. Never mind it being inside the Zenin estate still.
Silence greeted you along with the now gloomy green garden. Thunderclouds still litter the sky, blocking the rays of sunshine.
The curious hummingbird that keeps you company hovers above you before disappearing to its nest in a nearby tree.
A shiver wracks your body when a chilly breeze brushes over you.
Not wanting to catch a cold, you undress from your drenched kimono that clung to your skin.
Soaking in spring water was in order. The usually cool water was warmer than you expected. It must have something to do with you running around in the forest, defying the icy tempest.
The natural pool was deeper now compared to the last time that you visited. Giant lily pads also grew not too far away from you. “Where did you come from?” You would have noticed if they were growing then. Wanting to take a closer look, you swim towards them.
As your head resurface, your wet locks cling to your forehead and hinder your sight but you don’t miss a movement of a pretty shade of blue.
You wipe away the water from your face and tuck your hair behind your ears to stare at the fluttering wings of the butterfly that perches on the lily pad.
“Hello there.” You whisper as to not startle the butterfly. You rise to your feet, the water now reaching a few inches below your bosom when last week, it just levels until your midthighs.
Your pruning fingers hover above the lily pads before pushing them down. It fought the pressure and refused to sink into the water.
A smile forms on your lips as an idea pops in your mind.
“Would you mind?” You ask the lily pad, looking like a fool as you spoke to the plant.
But you can’t care less when excitement and joy surged on your chest.
The butterfly flies away as soon as a childish squeal escapes you when you push against the lily pad and lift yourself from the water. You laugh when you manage to get your torso on it.
You stopped moving to see if it will break and sink into the water, and humming, impressed that the lily pad held its shape. You lift your legs on it and soon you are sitting on the leafy surface of the lily pad. This could not have been normal flora. These pads are incredibly fragile, and to hold a person’s weight? Your eyes sparkle and your mouth part in enthusiasm. The butterfly hovers above you and perches on your nose, tickling you and making you sneeze. Once again succeeding in scaring the poor thing away.
You turn your attention back to the lily pad and you caress the smooth surface, checking to see if you bruised it. But it remains sturdy and unbreaking.
Afraid of losing balance and toppling over, you lay down and let the gentle sway of the water lull you to sleep.
It was perhaps the sunshine that warmed your skin that woke you up.
Or perhaps it was the sound of your name being called.
You shot up from the lily pad, the impact caused your hand to go through the leaf, tearing it in half making you sink into the water.
“Y/N!”
That muffled voice certainly belonged to your husband.
You rush out of the pool to dress yourself. Barely having the obi tied around your waist, you rush to the cave but stop dead when you see an outline of a silhouette just on the other sides of the vines.
You see the man lift his hand to his mouth.
“Y/N! Where have you gone!”
Slumping on the cave wall, you try to calm your pounding heart.
There is no reality with you letting him know of this place.
The stone floor was cold against your sole but you dare not move a muscle until you are certain that Naoya had gone.
It was far more difficult, getting back to the estate house.
Members of the kukuru unit and hei littered the forest that you almost cannot believe it when you find yourself back to your garden not seen by any of them.
You look over to find your getas and socks gone on the porch.
The servants must have found it strange that you disappeared, only leaving your footwear behind. You have no means to tell the time but seeing the mandarin haze made you believe that you have been careless and overslept in your secret garden far longer than you should have.
Squinting, you raise your hand to shade your eyes to stare at the direction of the sun.
A smile graces your lips upon realizing that the ceaseless storm has come to an end.
The flowers will finally be able to come back to life.
Not really wanting to go back inside the estate house, you head to the garden pond, sit on the edge and dip your muddy feet in the cool water. A chilling breeze sweeps past, and your damp hair dances. The gentle warmth of the sun bathes you with a golden glow.
“I heard you went prancing around in the woods in the middle of the storm.” A lighthearted voice says. “They are worried sick, thinking you might catch a cold.”
You see a flash of silvery white in your peripheral vision as the person sits beside you.
“I’m not going to get sick just because I touched rain, Gojō-san,”
You almost roll your eyes when Gojō exaggerates a groan.
“I thought I told you to call me Satoru.”
“I’m afraid I cannot do that, Gojō-san. You are older than me, what will people say?”
He raises a brow at you, a mischievous smile spreading on his lips. “Well, age sure did not stop you from marrying that dickhead.”
You turn to the koi that swam lazily in the pond and raise your hand to your mouth to hide your smile. “Well, it was decided long before I was even born, age is nothing but a trivial matter.”
Gojō hums and studies you but you choose not to say anything about it.
He picks up a pebble and chucks it in the middle of the pond with a quiet little plop instead of a splash. It startled the koi anyway.
“You’re planning something against him, aren’t you?” He murmurs.
You turn to him, appalled. “How could you ask such despicable question?”
“Then why do you appear to be not upset, Y/N?” He places a knuckle against his chin. “I know what happened.”
The pond’s water ripples as a koi splashed the surface, trying to catch a dragonfly that hovered.
“The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.”
And it was silent.
Which you find rather unusual, especially since you are graced with the presence of Gojō Satoru himself.
For this reason, you turn to him, only to regret it. He was giving you a disbelieving look, eyes wide and mocking as he hung his jaw open. He is insulting your sound maturity! You hastily attempt to stand up, if it isn’t for his socked foot that was quick to step on your kimono.
“Where was that snotty brat that used to cry at every minor inconvenience?”
He was a frequent visitor of your childhood home. Your fathers fought together alongside Naobito and many other Lords against curses in an uprising that happened twenty-four years ago in the citadel.
It was a very brutal battle where arrows resembled rain that befell both the enemy and the sorcerers. The blood spilled in the land said to have stained the soils for eternity, turning the green fertile soil into a red barren land.
Peace was kept but Satoru’s father was often visiting the other regions to ensure that no uprising can follow shortly after.
“She grew up.” You let the dead air between you lengthen before you spoke once more. “Whatever news you came to give today, it cannot be good.”
“Your pretty little head should not be worrying about it.” He dismisses quickly. “We will take care of it.” Gojō picks up another pebble and skips it on the pond this time. “I hear the servants saying that the gods were crying for you, hence the storm.”
You roll your eyes and duck your head, making your hair slip pass your shoulder and attempt to shield your face from his view.
“Snakes.”
Gojō reaches to tuck your hair back behind your ear as he hums in amusement. “Oh? I believe they are sincerely concerned for you.”
You give him an exasperated look. “They knew about my husband’s affair but none of them ever thought about telling me.”
“Of course they would do that.” Gojō softly bonks your head with his fist. “They would’ve lost their tongues for it, if not, their heads.”
You avert your eyes from him. You never did see it that way before.
“They may love you, but they fear your husband more.”
Knowing that he’s right, you did not try to antagonize him.
Seeing your frown, he adds, “But it does not justify what they did.” He then slaps your back, making you punch his chest in return.
He laughs when annoyance replaces your sad frown.
“You should’ve married me instead.” He sighs as he looks up at the sky and groans dramatically when you dig your elbow to his rib.
Gojō stares at your sulky face as he slings an arm on your shoulder. He always adored how your cheeks bubble up when you are aggravated, making your lashes brush against them when you blink.
“I was there.” He says, recalling an old memory. “That night that Naobito and your father made the agreement.”
“Really?” You gasp, turning to look at him fully. He nods. You have always been curious why your father allowed you to marry into this family even after knowing what kind of people they are. “Gojō -san, tell me.”
He shivers in performative distaste and he scrunches his face at you. “I will if you stop calling me ‘Gojō-san’. You always called me by my name remember? Satowu give my dolly back!”
“Oh shut it.” You laugh at his far-cry of an imitation of your childhood voice.
Satoru groans playfully, feigning dread at the memory. “And then your voice would get so high. Oh drag me to the Crimson tides, you were such a crybaby!”
He watches you laugh, a smile making its way on his lips. “It was on a feast held after the Battle of the Crimson Sea has been won. They were drunk. All of them. It was my old man’s idea.” He tells you, his eye contact remain unbreaking with yours. “He said to your father, ‘Our children should marry’. Lord Hanamura was often the level headed one but I guess he had a little too much booze.”
Your eyebrows meet as you process his words. “If they made the agreement, why did I end up marrying-”
Satoru laughed so loudly that a bird flew away from the tree near you. But despite its volume, it was empty.
“Satoru?”
A softer smile twitches on his lips for the shortest time.
“It was because I made a fit that night. I was a boy, definitely on that age when I dreaded being stolen from adventures to settle with a girl. And I told your father that I will never ever marry you or anyone for that matter.”
“You were such a brat, Satoru.”
He bumps your shoulder with his. “Ever wondered how you came to be known as ‘the muse of the nine Lords’?”
“It was a subject that my father tends to avoid.”
His lips form a thin line, looks around and lets out a short laugh. “After I declared to your father that I would never marry you, they uh…all the Lords of the empire, except that geezer Gakuganji who has a deadly intolerance to romance, wanted to compete for you, albeit you not being conceived yet.” He leans closer to you to whisper the last bit. “They organized a competition. All the Lords had to make a poem dedicated to you.”
You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re bluffing.”
Satoru shakes his head, “I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to. I was there and I had to listen to all nine drunk Lords sputter out piss-poor thrown together sentences with all the sappiest words that they can think of. They thought they were being romantic but it was just excruciating to watch.”
With the playful image he put on your head, you cannot help doubling over in laughter.
“I don’t know if Naobito was genuinely adept in poetry or if it was just the booze, but he did manage to give a decent poem. He wasn’t even the clan head yet, it was his brother. But he won the competition fair and square.”
You avert your gaze to follow the koi swimming around your feet.
And just like that, your fate was sealed. You were wed to this family.
Satoru did not fail to see your shift of emotions and he tips his head back to stare up into the sky once more. “I didn’t think that they were serious enough to honor that contest until I heard about them talking about it three years ago.”
Three years ago.
You whip your head to his direction only to see him already smiling at you.
“And being the gentleman that I am, I stopped visiting you since it would not be appropriate for a young Lord to be visiting an already promised Lady.”
“Oh, Satoru.” You bring your hand to cover your chest, eyes already watering. “I was disappointed when you stopped coming to see me.”
Satoru pretends to be repulsed. “Pfft, excuse me? The world does not revolve around you. I was there for the kikufuku mochi.”
“You liar.” Your voice came out as a soft whisper before your nose started to sting and tears soon blurred your vision. A friend. That is what he is. One of your dearest friends.
“You really are a crybaby.” He was quick to retort but soon guides your head to his chest. “Don’t get snot on me or I’ll push you in the pond.” He teases, making you punch his chest.
Satoru is a pain in the ass but you cannot deny the fact that he had always been there to lift your spirits.
But you do not expect to be ripped from the comfort he offered the next second.
You find yourself out of Gojō’s hold and look up just in time to see your husband throw a punch at Gojō, only to be stopped by the infinity.
“You stay the fuck away from my wife!”
Gojō chuckles before raising his hands in mock surrender.
You hastily stand up and rush to Naoya. You struggle to pull the sleeves of his kimono to keep him from trying to attack Gojō. It was futile as what is your strength in comparison to his.
“Naoya-sama, please!”
He glares at you. Naoya looked like he wanted to say something tactless to you but thinks against it when he remembers how you both have a spectator. A spectator who appears to be enjoying the scene unfold and will have no problem using this against your husband. Naoya snatches your arm and drags you with him, he’s seething, jaw clenched tightly as it takes everything in him to contain his temper.
You stumble after him. “Naoya-sama! You are hurting me.”
Naoya only listens when you reach the willow tree by your garden and the pond is no longer in sight.
“Is this your way of getting back at me?” He seethes at you.
You glower and sidestep him to walk back to the estate house.
But you did not get to walk far before your wrist is back on Naoya’s hold.
“You are avoiding me and I let you do it as I thought that you just needed time to sort your thoughts but there you were, whoring your way into the next man who pays attention to you-”
“I have had enough of you!” You try to pull your wrist from Naoya’s grip only for him to tighten it even more, almost cutting off your hand’s circulation. Your eyes fall to his chest when tears start to blur your sight once more. “Please.”
Tears slide to your cheeks and your chest rise as you hiccup, the sight of you had Naoya letting go of your hands to cradle your face. A strange display of warmth. Your breath hitches at his unfamiliar actions.
“Wife, you need to put an end to this.” His thumb wipes your tears. How long have you wished such tenderness from him. “It is unsightly.”
With a rush of anger, you manage to push him off. You hold your kimono up and stomp your way towards the estate house. Ignoring his demand for you to halt and return to him.
“Were you dropped on your head as a kid?”
Gojō’s infinity was quick to stop a knife from piercing his chest, letting it clutter on the ground.
He stands next to the person who threw it and joins him in watching you walk away.
“May I offer guidance?” Gojō continues anyway when Naoya says he may not. “You should attempt shutting your mouth sometimes.”
“You’re one to talk.” Naoya hisses at him. “And by the sacred blood waters, if I catch you anywhere near her-…You forget she is a married woman.”
Gojō yawns already walking away, stoking the fire of your husband’s wrath. “Nah,” he drawls, “you better up your game, Zenin.” He glances at Naoya from his shoulder. “Or I might make her my wife instead.”
hi so i have a question you said you wrote this story when you were younger so does that mean it’s completed and you’re just posting the chapters one by one? and also do you have an updating schedule? and how many chapters is this fic overall? that’s it xx
hello! yes, it's completed, there's about 15 chapters excluding prologue and epilogue. I post the chapters one by one, yes. It takes a bit of time because it sometimes conflicts with my availability and stuff. I don't edit much of the original chapters but I do scan through sometimes to correct typos and dialogues that no longer make sense to me now. Thank you all so much for your patience. I do not have a schedule, I do try to update every other day but something came up which really took away my time.
Chapter Synopsis: You learn how to walk among monsters.
Warning: talks of death, injury, misogyny, infidelity
Word Count: 5815
Chapter 5
This day marks the third day of you failing to wake your husband with kisses. You bring him warm tea early in the morning, but you make sure that you are never with him when he opens his eyes.
It was difficult, avoiding him and his family, and all the apologetic and pitiful stares that the servants give you. They must have known right from the beginning.
What a fool you are for thinking that your husband could feel something for you.
You stare at your reflection in the water, running your cold fingers on your cheeks, making the water slide down your parted lips.
All chirping and the gentle splash of water fades as you submerge yourself in the spring completely, you lie on the smooth stone floor and watch how the bubbles disappear with the rippling water.
The air from your lungs slowly escapes you, and you felt your chest burn as you let the water hug your body, slowly letting it consume you.
You envy the hummingbird that flew over the natural pool, hovering above you for a moment before flying off.
You wanted to get away. It seems easier. You will finally get away from this cursed family and their expectations.
But a twinge in your stomach drove your limbs to push your body up and break through the surface. Your head spins at the sudden intake of air, coughing when droplets of the spring water got in your nose.
You groan as you rub your forehead, the sting burning your head at the onslaught of water. You heaved, staring at your abdomen and feeling it twisting.
“I am not going to do it.” You say softly. “Do not fret, my sweetheart.”
You felt one final twinge before your abdomen settles down. The crystal droplets of spring water run through your body as you rise from the pool.
The abundant grass littered with different colored forget me nots and baby’s breath. They part to make a path for you, and daisies sprout in your damp footsteps.
You reach for the cloth to dry your body. You cannot tell the time of the day since the rain hasn’t stopped and the sky remained as cloudy as it was the time you left the house, but the muffled ringing of the estate bell told you that it is time for you to get back and start doing your duties in the house.
The kimono that you chose was dark in color, and not having the intricate embroidery and beading, and the obi was of a simple fabric. You let your hair down, not trying to look for the kanzashi that you lost in the forest.
After slipping your getas on, you began to walk back to the estate house, the plants were generous enough to bring a wide array of leaves over your head to protect you from the rain as you carefully skip from one root to another, to avoid leaving footprints in the forest ground. You wouldn’t want them to find out about your secret garden.
You keep your head down as you walk, listening in for anyone who could be walking near, and every time you hear a sound, you hide behind a tree and suppress your energy.
By the time you make it to the house, the servants were already bustling about. But you stick your nose in the air, not meeting the eye of anyone who greeted you or bowed. You refuse to acknowledge anyone as you head towards the breakfast table for the women of the house.
The same servant who was holding a feather duster that day you went to Naoya’s study was almost squirming when you walked past her. She gave you a deeper bow but you don’t spare her a glance.
Snakes.
The women in the breakfast table also avoided your eyes, opting to eat in silence. You think that they too have been where you are now, but their indifference to the situation, not even bothering to ask you if you are alright, it made the food taste like ash in your mouth.
Snakes.
If there was anybody in the house who should lend an ear to your problems, and sympathize with you, it should have been them. However, none of them has even tried to start a conversation with you, turning to the person that they were previously conversing with after giving you the customary bow. Still as unwelcoming as the day you arrived.
No matter how much they try to act mighty and better, their husbands were inferior to Naoya, and that secures your place in the hierarchy. A little consolation that you tried to gather to feel less small. Never have you given such subject any thought, until you arrived to the Zenin estate.
They all appear meek and docile when their husbands are around but they turn into the hags that they are when left unchecked. And making it a habit to constantly make life a little more unbearable for the servants.
One had even tried to make Chiyo wipe the floor after her toddler did not keep the lunch well in theor stomach, but you intervened and called another person to take care of it.
Her cheeks pinked, but she has never spoken to you again. You hear her mumbling behind your back, especially to your other in laws.
It was always from the three of them. The wives of Naoya’s older brothers. They always find something to criticize, unlike the others who seem to spare an ounce of genuineness when talking to you.
Well, in front of you at least. You don’t know where their loyalties lie. Well, perhaps you do, but you refuse to acknowledge it anyway.
Afterall, Zenin is a name synonymous not only to wealth and power but also to schemes.
And these past few days have proven you right. There were some who are kind enough to offer you a smile but then again it is easy to raise the corners of the lips in attempt to gain someone’s favor. Their husbands are Naoya’s mere cousins after all, and they needed to claw their way to power.
Snakes.
Now, they are talking about which threads they should use for their embroidery and knitting. One even started talking about the history of dyes and the techniques first used.
It was inaccurate, her story, but you don’t say anything as you sip from your bowl of soup.
“Are you going to eat that, Y/N-san?” Mai asks you with her mouth stuffed full, you follow her finger and see her pointing at your serving of grilled fish.
Maki bumps her shoulder with her twin’s.
“What?” Mai argues.
Maki glances at you before turning to Mai. “Read the room, dummy.”
You spare them a small smile before pushing your plate with grilled fish to Mai. “You can have it, Mai.” You take one more sip of soup and wipe your mouth. Everybody in the room glances at you when you clear your throat. “Ladies, you must excuse me. I have other business to attend to.”
You don’t wait for their response as you are already on your way out. But instead of going to your garden, you head to your room.
Naoya will not be there, you are certain that he is having his breakfast with his father and uncles.
It was another custom that you had to get used to since everybody in your family all ate in a single table, but here, there is not a place for women than to have her legs spread for her husband on his bed. You can only have your meals next to Naoya in gatherings and the occasional afternoon tea, which you no longer desire to have.
The corridor was empty and you are glad for taking a break from their sorry eyes.
You gently push the shoji to the side, and take a cautious step inside. When you hear no sound, nor feel any presence, you continue to walk further.
You slip off your geta to pad over to your shared bed with Naoya.
It was incredibly cold. Two bodies sleep on it at night but none is willing to communicate, letting the distance frost over.
The bed dips as you crawl over. You made sure that you always got to bed in time to garner enough rest, but you have been incredibly tired lately.
Emotionally and because of…other physical changes.
You let out a loud sigh when you untie your obi to let yourself breathe. Sooner or later, you’ll have to decide on a softer sash instead of the overly intricate and stiff silk one that you are using ever since you arrived in the Zenin estate.
The cool sheets of your pillow meet your cheek, its fuzz tickling you for a moment.
Your eyelids soon turn heavy and you fail to manage keeping them open for too long before you surrender to sleep.
At least, your sleep was peaceful, no dreams whatsoever, nor painful memories.
It seems that the rain has calmed when you open your eyes again, now only making swift pitter patter on the roof.
You rub the sleep from your eyes, slowly removing the blanket-
The blanket?
You huff out a gentle confused hum, lips tightening in mulling it over. You must have draped it over yourself while you were asleep.
But a bright reflection to your right makes you squint your eyes.
Your kanzashi is sitting on top of a book, the very one that Naoya took from you on your second night of being together.
Those weren’t clearly there before.
If Naoya had been to your room when you were asleep, you can only thank the Crimson tides that he chose not to wake you up.
The blanket rustles when you rise, dreading how you are going to have to tie your obi once more.
You pick up your book, purposely leaving your kanzashi on the table, and choosing to pick up a fan instead.
Same sorry gazes were sent your way when you walk by the corridor headed to your garden, and you choose to ignore them once more. If they were really sorry for you, they should have told you about Naoya’s involvement with your maidservant.
You gathered the gardeners and servants who work in this part of the house and they scramble when you reach the porch facing the garden. They are all waiting for you from under the safety of the roof as the rain had only turned moderate but was relentless.
Chiyo was already there, her eyebrows more drawn and you give her a curt nod of acknowledgment. You can feel her supporting you as you took your steps closer to them. Her chin was raised and a proud lift of her lips proving it.
They all line up in front of you, awaiting your order. Their heads bowed and their hands clasped. You felt horrible for being the one to cause this fear but you have no intentions of easing their distress.
The servants already feel sorry for you, you refuse to give them another reason to depict you as someone weak.
“I was hoping that we can resume our garden work today but I’m afraid, the weather simply would not allow it.” You sigh while watching the puddles in your once filled with life garden. “Now, I want you all to help out in the west wing, I hear the roof has made a mess on a few beloved text. You all may leave.” You turn to sit on a bench. “Except for Aku who will join me for tea.”
You glance to Chiyo and she no longer awaits specific orders as she gives you a bow before leaving, all the other servants glancing between you and Aku before choosing to leave, knowing that getting involved in your business is not their place.
One by one, they disappear to the corridor and you lean back on the plush chair that has a perfect view of the flowers that you and Aku planted together. You fan yourself softly as you remain your gaze on your garden. The air was already cold, but you needed something to do with your hands to keep them from snatching the nearest object and stain them with blood.
Aku continues to stand in the corner, her head bowed so low that her chin rests against her chest. Her hands continue to clasp and unclasp, her balance shifting from one foot to the other. It was evident how uncomfortable she was in your presence.
She opens her mouth but hesitates, from your peripheral vision, you see her looking up and opening her mouth, making you roll your eyes in impatience at her indecisiveness.
“Y/N-sama, I-”
“Adress me properly and perhaps I might listen to you.” You chide her softly, with a small smile playing on your lips. The slow motion of your wrist moving your fan gave off the impression of comfort and serenity and it was the exact opposite that Aku was feeling.
You look like a lioness playing with her food.
“Lady Zenin, I deeply apologize. What I did- it was…I was out of line. I let my admiration for Naoya-sama-”
You let your eyes wander to her.
Her excuse was pathetic and seems like she knew it too.
Snake.
“I…I don’t know how I should explain it to-to you. It’s just- we are…he was there and he saved me. Ga-gave me a roof over…over my head and put food on my tab-table. Gave me a place to work, and being close…being close to him gave me...it gave me an advantage of having lighter chores.”
Her words were garbled as she sobbed, her hands wringing each other. Yet you only watch her get herself so pitifully distraught and embarrassed. You almost felt sorry for her when you see how her cheek still swelled from when Naoya struck her, but you return your gaze to the raindrops falling freely on the puddles.
“Was my husband part of the chores that you needed to do?”
Aku breathes shakily before she collapses to the floor, sobbing and begging for forgiveness. She crawls over to you as she grips your feet and let her forehead rest on them. Her tears soak through your socks but your lips remain as a fine line, not yielding.
You let her sob as she pressed her face on your feet, her cries never ceasing. Apologies falling from her lips, and continues to do so until Chiyo arrives.
The tea set clinks as Chiyo places it on the table beside you. She does not say anything, choosing only to pour you your tea before she stands next to you. You say a quick thank you to her and you reach for your cup.
You hum as the peppermint tea reaches your tongue, you don’t often ask for it but it seems like good judgment on Chiyo’s part, especially with the situation.
“Ahh, this if refreshing.” Your eyes cut lower when you hear Aku sniveling. “Would you like a sip, Aku? It’s peppermint, perhaps it will help you calm down.”
She lifts her head to see you offering her your cup.
“That’s- that’s your cup, Lady Zenin.” She lowers her head once more to the ground.
“Oh, come now, Aku. You had no hesitation in bedding my husband, what’s a cup of tea?”
It seemed to have snapped whatever dignity Aku has in her as she started crying hysterically. A hei rushes over but stops on his tracks to see the scene unfold before his eyes. You turn to the hei to flash him a tight smile. You wave your hand to dismiss him and he bows before taking his leave.
Aku’s begging grew louder and louder until it started to grate your ears making you sigh.
“Chiyo, please help her to her feet, she is soiling the embroidery on my socks. Cease your whining, Aku, you are humiliating to look at.”
You pour yourself another cup of tea and sip the minty sweet tea as Chiyo does as she was told.
Chiyo assisted Aku by supporting her elbows after prying her hands from your kimono. As Aku tries to calm herself down, you continue to sip your tea and watch your garden.
When her sniffles die down and is replaced only with seldom hiccups, you decide to speak.
“I truly had fun planting those flowers with you, Aku.” You turn to her. “Specially the black dahlias.”
She drops her gaze to her feet at the mention of the said flowers.
“What a shame it is,” you continue, “the storm has flooded their beds.”
Aku glances at your garden, shoulders rising every now and then as she hiccups.
You sip your tea once more. “Would you mind pulling them out, Aku?”
You let let the rainfall fill the silence.
It sounded like such a sweet request, but all of you know the weight it. Your garden was the pride of the Zenin estate house, so big and wide, filled with flowers and life. Despite the negative meanings of the black dahlias, you adored the mysterious impression that it carries. Which is the reason why you planted quite a cluster of them.
Chiyo clears her throat to break the silence. “I’ll go ask the gardeners for the tools.”
“No, no.” You raise your palm to stop her. “That won’t be necessary.”
You keep your eyes on Aku who has reluctance painted on her face.
“Is something wrong, Aku?” The tea cup clinks against the saucer when you place it down. “Do you need the tools after all?” You gasp softly as you place a hand on your chest in patronization.
Being married to Naoya does teach you things.
Aku licks her bottom lip as she glances at the garden and back at you. She clenches her hands softly before letting them fall limp by her side.
“It’s alright, Lady Zenin. The rain has already softened the ground.”
You clap your hands together. “Splendid!”
She gives you one final look before walking towards your garden. Her shoulders flinch when the sharp droplets of rain begin to pelt down on her. Wet patches appear on her kimono before it becomes soaked all over.
Aku slips on the mud and lands on her knees, she opts to leave her getas when it gets stuck in the mud, choosing to walk on her now grimy socks on slippery garden.
Her cheeks were hot despite being soaked in the frigid rain. She wanted to thrash out, she wanted to hurt someone, she wanted to scream at someone.
But she never thought about doing all of those to you as she was the one who got herself in this situation.
If there was someone to blame, Aku knew that it was herself.
She kneels in front of the black dahlias and closed her eyes.
Naoya gave the servants, including her, such a hurtful glare that day in the garden. All because they allowed his precious wife to get her dainty hands get dirty from touching the soil.
A sob escaped her as she closed her eyes shut.
What an ambitious woman she was. She made herself believe that she can compete with you, seeing as you are years younger than they are, she thought that Naoya will find something in her that he can never find in you.
Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the dahlias to rip them out.
The rain never ceased the entire time that Aku went and pulled out the dahlias. You hear servants and the ladies eavesdropping and gossiping amongst themselves but you chose to ignore them.
It will not come as a surprise to you if they start a rumor about you, a horror if a naïve you found out about it. But now, you only thank that if they succeed, then it can work on your favor as it will serve as a warning for those who plan to cross you in the future.
You are halfway through your book when Aku makes it back to you.
She was more pitiful than she was before.
Her hair appeared to be matted and tangled with how hard the wind blew and how the rain showered harshly over her. She is shivering all over and her lips looked pale, her feet are muddy and she refused to step into the clean dry floor. But you let your eyes linger on her palms for a moment.
Large gashes and welts crisscrossed on her palms and blood kept oozing from it, coating her fingers and dripping to the ground.
Her presence annoys you.
“You can retire to your quarters now, Aku.”
Not to the healer. Not to get help. She scurries off and disappears from your sight.
As you sip your tea, you frown at your mauled garden. Not because of guilt over what has happened to Aku but because you feel nothing but impatience to get it over with.
You bite on a manju and return to your book. It has been so long since you had the luxury of reading.
You husband frowns upon the idea and like the silly girl you are, you let yourself refrain from doing things that he does not approve of.
The paper crinkles between your fingers. You will never allow yourself to be changed into a person that you are not just to fit his or anyone’s mold ever again.
Heavy footsteps make the floorboards creak and the bench shakes gently when the person sits with you.
“It sure is raining a lot lately, too bad it does not reach the southern lands. We have so much rain water here and the Fujitas won’t shut up and kept demanding to stretch their borders to a small waterhole.”
You decide not to speak, not really knowing how to respond.
“The women are making kumihimo in the lounge. Why don’t you join them, Y/N, my dear?”
“I’m not interested in braiding threads,” you say as you pour a cup of tea to offer to him, “Naobito-sama.”
He accepts it and drinks the contents in a single gulp. He then watches your garden with you.
“Well, it’s better than wasting your time reading, isn’t it?” He shrugs at you after glancing at your book.
You laugh softly and close your book. “I’m afraid, I might have to disagree with that Naobito-sama.”
He hums in interest and encourages you to speak.
“It’s hardly wasting my time. Afterall, a reader lives a thousand lives before they die, while a person who never reads lives only one.”
Naobito seems satisfied with you answer as he takes a swig from his wine gourd that you did not even see was with him. Yet again, is he ever without it? “What a wonderful insight, Y/N. Perhaps I should read more books to be as wise as you.”
You smile when you hear no mockery and only playful admiration in his tone.
“A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.” You say before reaching for you tea.
Naobito startles you with boisterous laughter. “What a bright young woman you are.”
You thank him for his compliment and the two of you fall in comfortable silence. Reminding you of the times when your own father sat down with you in the garden after you mother chastises you for trying on one of her kimonos or when you and your brothers get in a fight.
“I heard what happened.”
You refuse to take your eyes off your garden when he spoke. He sees how a butterfly perches on your shoulder before it started to twitch uncontrollably, shrivels, and falls off.
“My son…is a difficult man, and you only have his father to blame for that. However, I hope that this unfortunate event will not be the undoing of your marriage, my child.”
You bite your cheek and attempted to steady your shaking breath.
“Of course not, Naobito-sama. My duty is to my husband before anything else.”
“Good.” He pats on your head before standing up to take his leave. But before he does so, he tells you, “Because if your marriage shall fall, there would be no replacing a daughter like you.”
You are alone with Chiyo once more and you allow your tears to fall this time. If Chiyo saw your shoulders shaking or heard your sniffles, you are grateful that she did not say anything.
The night sky has completely turned dark when you get up to leave. The corridors also appeared to be free of servants as they are also having their meals.
Your dearest husband, should be in the council hall with the others as you have come to know that every after meals becomes their chance to hold meetings as they are busy with other responsibilities in the day.
You can only hear the rain sliding against the roof and falling on the ground accompanied by the occasional rumble of thunder.
The ambience was almost relaxing as the sound of koto strings plucked so beautifullytravels to your ears. There were performers always playing for the men, the women did not get the same privilege but the sound is hard to miss as it resonates in the estate house.
You listen to the soft clanking to your getas that are paired with Chiyo’s.
A bolt a lightning crash outside that the white silvery lights overpowers the yellow haze of the lamps placed on the walls.
“Say, Chiyo.” You hum as you turn to a corner towards your quarters. “Did you know?”
A booming thunder follows not long after, making the ground shake and your ears ring.
You waited patiently for Chiyo’s answer.
The old woman makes no sound but her footsteps and even breathing that you wonder if she even heard your question.
“Chiyo-”
“I did not,” she sighs, “If I’d known, I would have done something regarding her tasks, to keep her away from…well,” She clears her throat before speaking again. “It was a foolish oversight, not noticing sooner. I will work everyday to earn your forgiveness, Lady Ze-”
“Y/N. You shall call me by my name.” You give her a smile over your shoulder. “And there is nothing to forgive, Chiyo.”
She bows her head, smiling. “Thank you, Y/N-sama.”
You would have preferred it if she called you solely by your name but you’ll take it.
“No, you have been by my side from the beginning. I should be the one thanking you.”
As your quarters come to view, you stop on your tracks to turn fully to Chiyo.
“You should retire for the rest of the evening, Chiyo. There is no need to bring me my dinner as I am still full from the food you so kindly brought me this afternoon.”
She smiles at you and bows. You watch her take her leave and disappear in a corner.
The shoji creaks softly as you lean on it. A bird twitters outside the open window in the far corner. You wonder if it got caught in the storm and was not able to make it home.
What a bizarre phenomenon it was. First, it was the drought that has been killing the crops, making everyone beg the gods for a sprinkle of rain. Only for them to give the western region a relentless storm that has drowned whatever crops that survived the drought.
The world tilted. All breathe escapes your lungs as your world flips quite literally. The shoji has moved and you are sure to fall on the ground and hurt your back.
If it wasn’t for the sturdy chest catching your fall.
“I always knew you’d fall for me.” Said a cocky voice that you know too well.
Cheeks heating up in anger and embarrassment, you steady yourself back on your feet.
Your bun comes undone with how swift you turn to glare at your husband’s smug face.
“I was waiting for you, wife.” Naoya leans to place a kiss on your frowning lips but you place your fingers on his puckered lips as you turn away from him.
His brow twitched but he quickly replaces it with a smile that only made him look more dangerous than apologetic. “You’re still not mad about what happened, are you?”
You scoff as you push your way pass him, wasting no time and heading to your closet to select your night clothes before heading to the bathroom, making sure that the lock is set in place behind you.
His silhouette is visible from the thin shoji and you wanted to share a crude hand gesture to him but hot tears fill your eyes once more.
It was absoluty ludicrous for him to act so casual as if what he did was a minor error. Has he ever thought about the weight of his mistake?
You set your clean clothes angrily on the counter and hastily take your kimono off to submerge yourself on the tub.
Blurry image of you reflects on the water and you let your frustration out through your tears.
Metallic taste of blood soon invades your palette. You have bitten your lip too hard and it has drawn blood.
Your husband is a horrible man.
He is the most horrible man that you have ever met in your life.
Not even taking your feelings seriously. Getting all comfortable with you as if he had not committed infidelity behind your back.
How dare him.
You submerge your face in the water as you scream, making bubbles rise to the surface and the water to ripple even more. Your shoulders shake as you sob against your hands in an attempt to silence your sobs. Naoya has made you feel so weak, completely destroying you and he does not appear to be apologetic about it.
You curse yourself for agreeing to marry that heartless man.
Everything that they told you to do, you did them all no matter how unusual. How humiliating. You set aside who you are for that man, wanting to be the perfect wife that he and his family wanted, thinking that if you did, then you will be happy. He will be happy. And you will be enough. And that despite how the rumors go, things will be different.
You wanted nothing more than to remain in the little comfort the tub of water offered but much to your contempt, you must rise lest you catch a cold. You are no longer just taking care of your body alone after all.
You take your time drying yourself and wearing your crisp new clothes, not looking forward to see the bane of your existence who was lounging just outside the shoji.
Seeing you exit the bathroom, Naoya swiftly rises from your bed to follow you around the room.
He is right behind you when you place your used clothes in the basket for soiled clothing, he follows you to your vanity as you brush your hair, he was also quick to follow you to your bed. When he saw you reaching for the pitcher of water, he beats you to it and pours you a glassful.
As you drink, he settles on the bed beside you to lounge carelessly.
You roll your eyes when you see a wide smile on his lips. You place the cup on the table and settle too on the bed.
“Stop ignoring me, wife. I’ll die from lack of attention if you go as far as to continue this another moment.”
That doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all.
You turn your head from him to play with the ring on your finger, the heavy jewel winks when the light from the bed side lamp bounces from it, almost taunting you.
“I heard about what you did. You should have just killed her, to end it all.”
You place your hand down and turn to him, disgusted. “Please don’t be foolish. You think killing her will solve anything?”
Naoya frowns and sits up on the bed to look down on you. “Did you just call me foolish?”
Gone was the playfulness in his tone.
An innocent smile plays on your lips. “No, I was asking you not to be one. Besides, if I had her dead, I will be no different from you, and I refuse to be reduced to that insult.” You pat his cheek gently. “Good night, my sweet husband.”
But before you can lie down, a firm grip finds your bicep as Naoya pulls you to him harshly.
"You're being dramatic, I was simply seeking out the pleasure that you failed to provide.”
Your body moved faster than your mind. It took you a second later to process that Naoya now has your other wrist in his tight hold.
You have just attempted to slap him. And failed.
He gives you a sardonic grin as your breath hitches and you blink your eyes rapidly to get rid of the tears that formed.
“I had no idea that I married a monster.” You say through your teeth.
Naoya only laughs dryly as he shakes his head. “No, you married a Zenin.”
You try to pull your hand but he only grips it tighter, cutting off circulation.
His teeth gnashes. "What do you want me to do, beg? Do you want me to walk around the estate three steps behind you!” His face turns red in anger as his voice rose higher and higher, making you close your eyes and turn away from him. Never! Never in your life have you experienced having someone speak to you in this tone.
"I may be disappointed in you, but I am still your wife. I will never ask you to do anything that will humiliate you, Naoya-sama."
With this, he lets go of your bruised wrist and you allow yourself to cry silently as you lie to your side with your back facing him.
“Stop being difficult Y/N.” He says in a softer voice. “Do you want new kimonos? Jewelry? I'll spoil you rotten with gifts, just tell me what you want."
You swallow and willed your voice to be steady. "You cannot buy my forgiveness,” you pause to take a breath, “I can finance myself, spoil me instead with loyalty. I have no need for gifts."
His gaze was heavy and you can feel it burning on your back but you refuse to turn and acknowledge him.
“You will give yourself back to me.” It unnerved you how he can say it with no trace of doubt. “And whatever it is that you will not give, I’ll take.”
This time, it was you who laughs. “There is nothing more for you to take, Naoya-sama. I have given all to you. My attention, my affection, my heart. You had them all. But what did you do?”
Chapter Synopsis: You learn the horrors of being a wife to a Zenin.
Warning: mild nsfw, misogyny, infidelity
Word Count: 6170
Chapter 4
The women born in noble houses are raised to have perfection as their norm, most of your life, you manage to do so, the word itself embedded in your very being.
But your cheeks burn under the gaze of Zenin-gozen.
“Y/N-san, it has only been a few minutes since you came back from the lavatories.” She says with her voice sharp, her stiff wrinkly hands lowering the embroidery needles.
The twins stop untangling the yarn for their mother to listen to your conversation.
All four of you have been in the sunroom, adding intricate embroideries to your kimonos. Zenin-gozen made sure that the ladies of the house still do activities together just like how they do in every noble houses.
You bite your lip as you bounce your legs, an attempt to subdue the pressure on your lower abdomen, a light shiver crawls on your spine at the soft gust of the hot summer wind.
“My deepest apologies, but you must excuse me.” You blurt as you grab the fabric of your kimono up to dash towards the nearest toilet with Chiyo behind you.
“It must have been that tea that Lady Tsukumo sent, Lady Zenin.” Chiyo says with worry in her voice.
“Well, it was my fault for drinking the entire pot.” You laugh a little. “It was just too refreshing and I’m so thirsty lately.”
Tsukumo Yuki, the Lady of the Tsukumo clan sent you a gift of honey lemon tea as an apology for missing the festival as she was too busy roaming around the world in her ship.
“You should accept my offer to drink tea with me next time, Chiyo. Unless you wouldn’t mind accompanying me to the lavatory every five minutes.”
You did not miss how Chiyo clears her throat to hide a cough that suspiciously sounded like a laugh. She opens the shoji for you that leads to the toilet.
“If the Lady Zenin truly wishes for me to join her, then I shall not refuse her.”
“Finally! We can even invite Aku to join us.”
“Of course, Lady Zenin. Simply instruct me when you would like to have tea with us and I can ask Aku when she is free from her own duties.”
“Splendid,” it comes out muffled as you do your business inside the lavatory. “Perhaps we can ask the chefs to make us that sweet rice cake that they served in the festival to go with a dip of spicy honey.” You jabbered.
Chiyo did not say anything and you call her name to make sure that she did not leave you.
“Lady Zenin,” she calls behind the shoji with her voice hushed.
You hum in reply as you redo your obi to keep it from squashing against your bosom.
“When,” she clears her throat when it come out airy, “when was the last time that you bled?”
You stared at the shoji oddly before chuckling. “I have never been harmed-”
“Your monthly bleeding, Lady Zenin.”
The words were stuck on your month as you processed Chiyo’s question. Your fingertips brush against the intricate embroidery on your obi before you let it sink to the softness of your plushy stomach. You got married to Naoya over a couple of months ago and you have been so busy trying to fit in that you forgot about the possibilities.
“Two we…two weeks before the wedding.” You say with your voice barely above a whisper.
Your fingers touch the smooth sanded wood of the shoji and letting it stay there before sliding it open to face Chiyo.
“I bled two weeks before…before the wedding.”
She raises her hand to place it above her heart. “Oh, Lady Zenin. I can only blame myself for not noticing.”
You shake your head as you stare down to your belly.
“You have done nothing wrong, Chiyo.”
She nods, with her eyes giving out a sheen of unshed tears that only radiates happiness.
“I did notice that I was late.” You say as tears prickled your eyes. “The day of my bleed is not identical in every month and I did not think much of it.”
“We should see the healer-”
“No!” You say quickly, and chuckle nervously at Chiyo’s surprised expression. “I just wanted to be certain first, I know that he will tell Naoya-sama in an instant.”
You pull at the sleeves of your kimono as you eye the embroidery of your socks. “I do not wish to be a source of disappoint to Naoya-sama.”
The two of you are silent and you squirm under Chiyo’s calculating gaze.
“Shall we go get wheat and barley for you, Lady Zenin? To rid ourselves of doubts.” Chiyo asks as she steps closer to you, seeming not able to contain her excitement.
But you only tilt your head in amusement due to her absurd question. “What does that have anything to do with our current situation?”
To you surprise, Chiyo takes your hand. “Come, I’ll show you.”
It was rare for Chiyo to be so openly excited that you gladly went along with her without asking any more questions. The two of you had to pick up your getas and tiptoe around the sunroom to get away from the boring embroidery activities.
Some servants looked at you oddly but as soon as they saw the giddy smiles that are plastered on your face and the brighter expression of Chiyo, they immediately moved to let you pass. Even giggling among themselves as they saw you place a finger over your lips, seemingly infected with glee.
Chiyo leads you to the storage house. The smell of spices engulfs the air and you find yourself pinching your nose in an attempt to block the smell with the nausea slowly creeping up on you.
She digs through a half empty sack and pulled out wheat before walking further into the storage house.
“Chiyo, can we be quick about this?” Your voice came out nasally as you shivered in disgust when you pass by a sack of garlic.
She did not answer you as she was busy pulling out a small sack between two jars, you walk over to move the other jar to help Chiyo, but as she was busy with the barley, you can’t help your curiosity and you remove the tight lid and saw what looked like umeboshi. You watched how the wrinkled plums swished with the reddish liquid.
“It’s just rice grain,” Chiyo sighs, “I thought I saw leftover barley in here somewhere.”
But you’re not listening as you swallow thickly, your mouth waters at the sight of the salty and sour plums. Before you know it, your hand was already dipping inside the jar to reach for a plum. You sigh and close your eyes as soon as you pop the plum on your salivating mouth.
You reach for another.
And another.
As Chiyo wanders around looking for the barley, you are busy lifting off the jar and placing it on the ground between your legs as you plop yourself to a box, happy to get easy access to the plums.
“Here it is, Lady Zenin.” Chiyo waves a handful of barley in front of you before setting them to the ground along with the wheat.
You stuff another salty plum on your mouth before looking up to Choyo. “What should we do now?”
She smiles at you after glancing at your comfortable posture and the jar of umeboshi.
“You pee on it.”
You stop chewing to look at Chiyo to see if she was serious. When she did not answer, you wipe your mouth and gently place the jar aside to walk over to the small pile on the floor.
“I’m not sure if it is sanitary for us to do this here?” You chuckle and Chiyo’s shoulders jolt before laughing with you.
“Oh, forgive me, Lady Zenin. I’m letting my excitement get ahead of me.”
You simply wave a hand at her, “There is nothing to forgive, silly. Perhaps we can take them to a bathroom nearby?”
Chiyo nods before scooping up the wheat and barley to place them in two different bags as you turn to pick up the jar of umeboshi.
“There’s one near the back entry. No one ever uses it so it will be best to do it there.”
You follow Chiyo as she leads you around the maze of the stacks of vegetable boxes and sacks of grains.
As you walk silently on the dim room, you gently shake the jar in your arms to feel the liquid swirl inside, you saw a big one in there right before closing the lid, you promise yourself to eat it first later. But all thoughts fly from you when you felt something land on your forehead with a soft thunk, you look down to see a temari rolling away.
“Whoa…Whoa! Look out!”
Chiyo was quick to pull you towards her when you heard a quaking prepubescent voice from above.
And a man soon falls to the stack of hay, right next to where you just stood.
“By the storming tides of the Crimson Sea, boy!” Chiyo bellows waving the burlap bags which contained the wheat and barley angrily.
“Are you alright?” You gasp as you help the lanky looking man off the heap of hay, he pats his clothes to rid of the hay that clung to him and you help pick off the ones on his curly hair, only pausing when he raises his head and his familiar freckled face turns to you.
In his panic, he bends to give you a deep bow but he miscalculates your distance and headbutts you instead.
“Ow!” You cry, you hand immediately flying to cup your tingling forehead.
The man falls to his knees before doing a dogeza, you cringed at the sound made when his forehead hits the hard ground.
“A thousand apologies, Lady Zenin!” He shrieked.
You can only look at him as you cup your forehead, still in shock with the swiftness of the events that transpired.
“Tell me that you aren’t lazing off in the roof beams again, Yuuma.”
Weariness was evident in Chiyo’s voice. You watched her with admiration as she stood next to you, with her hands placed on her hips.
Yuuma raised his head to give her an apologetic smile before his eyes travel to you and his freckled cheeks fill with rosiness.
You frown. “Wait. Yuuma? Your name is Yuuma?” You crouch down to his level.
Yuuma nods without raising his eyes from the dusty floor.
“You’re that kid who opened the shoji for me.”
You remember his clumsy bows very well and his freckled cheeks that were quick to fill with color. He was the laundry boy who opened the shoji for you as you were carrying your husband’s morning tea. And the same kid in the kitchen who helped in moving the bowls as you taste tested the food for the festival.
“Ye-Yes, Lady Zenin. That was me.” A bead of sweat rolls to his eyebrows. “I’m really sorry, Lady Zenin. I swear it on my life I won’t slack off again. If I do, I swear to feed myself to the Wokou serpent.”
Wokou serpent?
“The current of no escape, they call it,” Chiyo sighs. “It’s a sea current that ensnares all that enters and drags them into the pits of hell.”
Oh.
You cradle the umeboshi close to your chest and slowly rise back up. “Well then, since you have done me great service in our previous meetings.” You playfully say in your haughtiest voice. “I shall command you to rise from the floor and continue with your day.”
He looks up at Chiyo, unsure before rising to his feet to brush the dirt off his knees.
“You’re not going to have me flogged?” Yuuma asks with great worry.
Your heart skips a beat at the unpleasant memory. “No! Why would I ever-” You pause to take a deep breath as your hand unconsciously rubs at your belly. “Yuuma, it was an accident. Besides, you’re more hurt than I am.”
You see the bleeding scratch on his forehead. Probably from when he did that bow.
“But no more dozing off in your hideouts anymore.” Chiyo reminds him as she waves a warning finger in front of his embarrassed face.
You suppress your giggle, she looks like a cranky grandmother, reprimanding her grandson for stealing sweets before bedtime.
“No more sneaking off. I’ll do my best to be of service to the Zenin family from now on.” Yuuma says as he stands straighter. You almost thought that he will give a salute after.
“Yes you shall,” you cheer. “If you stay true to your words, I will invite you to have tea with me and Chiyo.” You smile at him and his face almost immediately fills with coloring.
“I…I’ll go plow an entire- an entire hectare for you then, Lady Zenin.” He spoke absentmindedly before turning to walk away only to kiss a post instead. “Ow! Who put that post in there?”
Yuuma’s grumbling did not stop until he made it out of the storage house.
“Lucky for him, it was just the two of us.” You say while feeling your forehead.
Chiyo assists you by removing the dust bunnies in your hair and kimono. You blow the thin layer of dust that got on the lid of your umeboshi jar.
“Yes, I try to reprimand the boy whenever I catch him but,” she sighs, shaking her head, “kids nowadays.”
A gentle smile appears on your lips as you let your hand wander on your middle.
You wonder if your child will give you and your husband the same troubles. You can already see Naoya rubbing his forehead after chasing a giggling toddler in the garden.
The Zenins are not known for kindness but you vow to raise your child just as how your parents had raised you and your brothers, with love and compassion and to always value life. You can’t stand the idea of your child growing up to be like the people of the family.
You admire your husband greatly, more than anyone but he too, has darkness in him.
“Shall we go now, Lady Zenin?” Chiyo asks. You simply nod.
The back entry soon shows itself, you can tell by the sunlight seeping from the cracks of the large wooden doors, it does not seem to fit its frame very good, but it does its job of keeping people and animals, out and off the food. The last thing that they want is for the food to become contaminated and make the family fall ill, heads will surely roll if that happens.
Your face tightens as a shiver runs through your spine at the sheer thought.
“Lady Zenin, you’re not feeling cold, are you? The weather is searing hot.” Chiyo pointed out while trying to get the doors to open, it must have been left unused, causing the hinges to get stuck, but before you can offer your assistance, the door swings open, causing the dust to rain down, but Chiyo manages to get out of the way just in time.
“No, just thinking.” You mumble. “Is that the toilets?” A change in topic seems to be in order.
Chiyo nods as she studies how you appeared pale. You make your way to the bathroom as Chiyo closes the storage room once again.
You expected the bathroom to smell unpleasant but it was rather clean, except for the dried sticks and leaves that must have been blown by the wind.
“Here, Lady Zenin. You should pee in both the wheat and the barley.”
You accept the bags that she handed over to you. And you gently close the bathroom, suddenly feeling anxious.
The thought of starting a family with Naoya crossed your mind a lot of times, it was expected of you to bear him an heir. But you are not sure if the two of you are ready. You barely even knew each other, aside from the time that you spend with him in bed and his morning tea, you barely even see each other, let alone to sit and get to know the lives that the other live.
You ask him about his day when you retire in your bedroom at night but your husband does not think it to be appropriate to share the family’s troubles with you. You hear, it is because they are worried it might upset the humors of a woman’s body, cause hysterics and hinder child bearing.
The bags suddenly feel heavier than they originally were.
Before you can hesitate once more, you clench the bags in your hand before setting them down and lift your kimono.
Chiyo was pacing outside, her geta clanking against the pebbles that littered the ground. She clasped her clammy hands before wiping them on her kimono only to clasp them again.
The shoji creeks and she stops in her steps to see you looking at the floor, with two damp bags in hand.
“Well,” you say in a low voice, “what now?” You raise your head to look at Chiyo, who gave you a reassuring smile.
“Now, we wait.”
The sun decided to be kind to you that day and the heat was not so harsh that even the breeze that blows on your hair was enough to cool you down despite the stuffy kimono that you wore.
The twins were giggling amongst themselves as they manage to stick another baby’s breathe in Yuuma’s curly hair. You smile at them before returning your gaze to your cup of tea.
The day is just so nice that you had to get out and have your afternoon tea in the garden. Chiyo was with you but she cannot focus on her own cup of tea with you asking her about the wheat and barley bags from a few days back at every chance that you get, so she excused herself to check on them, promising to comeback right away.
Aku was repeatedly asked by you and Chiyo that morning but she told you that she has chores that she needed to complete. It was a shame really, you missed her company dearly.
“Do they really do that all the time?”
“Huh?” You turn, dumbfounded. Yuuma was staring at your shoulder and you look to see a blood red butterfly perched on your shoulder.
You hum in awe at the color of the butterfly whose wings are slowly fluttering as its thin legs moved around the fabric of your kimono before flying off to the black dahlias that you and Aku planted together.
“Yes, they always seem to hover around me, is something wrong, Yuuma?” You ask with concern lacing your voice.
His usually shy and kind eyes were stormy and cautious as he follows the movements of the butterfly, his body stiffening before flinching and cupping his nape. A startled Mai lets out a yelp as she backs away from him. The stalk of the baby breath that she was planting on his curls somehow slipped and pricked him.
You laugh along with Maki as a giggling Mai pretends to be busy with her cup of tea, ignoring Yuuma’s accusing glare before breaking into laughter himself.
“You sneaky brats.” He shakes his head and groans when few of the flowers fell, he was about to shake the rest of the flowers when a small protest came from the twins, Yuuma glances at them before his hand drops as he lets the flowers stay in his hair.
“Your hair looks pretty with the flowers, Yuuma.” You praise, as a kind smile plays on your lips.
As you predicted, blush tints his cheeks as he looks down to his own cup of tea, he’s always so shy. “It’s not pretty.” He grumbles before clearing his throat and straightening his back, his eyes fleeting to you briefly. “I…I’d prefer the word to be handsome, my lady.”
Your mouth forms an ‘o’ before erupting to a fit of giggles. This kid…
“Ow!” Yuuma grunts while glaring at Maki who has her chin raised and arms crossed after smacking the boy in the shoulder.
“You’re not slick.” She sneers, making Yuuma roll his eyes before lying on his back on the grass.
It was nice to see them like this, forgetting the fact that they are from two separate worlds, and are just having fun without a single thought to the societal stigma and predisposition that was so heavily nailed to us at early age.
“You seem to be getting along well.”
A rather cheerful looking Chiyo walks over to you.
“Yeah, they’re not as snotty as I previously thought.” Yuuma waves his hand it in the air, as is swatting a fly.
This earned him a kick from Maki.
“Lady Zenin,” Chiyo calls, “might I speak with you alone?”
You almost immediately say yes, eager to hear what she has to say. However, you pause to look at Yuuma and the twins, who seemed to have heard Chiyo.
“It’s alright, Y/N-san.” Mai smiles at you as she slumped on Maki’s back. “You can go with Chiyo. Maki and I will have our dance lessons in a few moments anyways.”
“Yeah,” Yuuma nods, “the gardener will be looking for me if I’ll be gone for too long too.”
Chiyo ask Yuuma to take care of the tea set before she guides you to the bench that had a spectacular view of the gardens. It was placed in the middle of the garden, almost hidden from view with the thick rose bushes and hydrangea that you adored most for their colors.
You gently smoothen your kimono before sitting down and inviting Chiyo to sit by patting the space next to you. She gladly does so.
“Lady Zenin,” Chiyo starts with her voice all wobbly and out of breath.
“What is it Chiyo? Tell me, tell me now.” You clasp her hands to bring them to your lap, the anticipation almost making you buzz.
A smile spreads on her lips as the edge of her eyes crinkle. You feel her thumb rubbing the back of your hand before she slips one of her hands from your grasp to dig into her pocket. You bite your lip when you see the familiar bags.
“One of them sprouted already, the other looks like it won’t be long before it does too.” She places one bag in each of her hand and you let out a small cry as happy tears slide to your cheeks, your hands quickly cradle your belly.
“The barley will tell us if you are carrying a boy,” she raises the bag in her left hand before lowering it down to lift the one on her right, “and the wheat will tell us if you are carrying a girl.”
You hesitate in picking which bag you should open first, but you eventually pick the wheat bag first. You rub the rough burlap cloth, stalling. You won’t mind having a girl, you think it is rather endearing to have a girl as your first born, but the family will surely criticize you and your husband for it, and you don’t want your daughter to feel unwanted.
A swift sound from the drawstring rubbing against the cloth fills the air but you don’t hear anything else as you feel the world disappear when you see the cracked seeds with tiny sprouts peeking out.
“I…am I really?” You look at your belly before seeing the other bag in Chiyo’s palm.
You gently set the wheat bag aside as you reach for the barley. You quickly undo the drawstring and reach in before even looking inside it. You turn your hand to slowly reveal the barley.
What stared at you was a full sprout that has already bloomed out of the seed shell.
“A boy, Lady Zenin. The gods have blessed you with a son.”
Your lips part as you stared at the barley sprout in your palm as you place your other hand over your obi.
“A son,” you mumble, feeling as if voicing it out will make it more real, and it did.
Chiyo almost falls over the bench when you stand up so swiftly.
“I have to go tell Naoya-sama.” You say, glowing with mirth and pride.
Chiyo nods, “Of course, Lady Zenin.”
Your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile is, and you did not stop yourself from giving Chiyo a hug, she stiffens in surprise and you were almost sure that she will tell you how inappropriate it is for you to show such affection to her, but you feel her hands smoothening your hair instead.
“Thank you, Chiyo.”
“Of course, Lady Zenin.” She whispered back.
You flash her another quick smile before pinching your kimono higher and started heading towards Naoya’s study. He should be done with his training and meetings by now.
Some servants gave you a curious look when you rush pass them but you can’t seem to care about their opinions about you. But you slow down when you remember that it is no longer just you.
You place your hand on top of your belly as a grin appears on your lips. You wonder how Naoya is going to react. He did make it clear to you that it is your duty as a wife to carry his children, but the time you spent together showed you that Naoya is more than what people thought he was. Maybe he will be as happy as you are.
You squeeze yourself in a hug as you giggle like a love sick fool.
A servant with a feather duster almost jumps from their skin when you almost bump into her as you turn the corner, she apologizes profusely before giving you a bow but you reassure her that it was nothing as you smile at her. Her mouth forms a thin line and she excuses herself. Your getas softly clank against the wooden floors as you near Naoya’s study.
Your bottom lip was tingling after you chewed it, hands wringing as you try to calm yourself.
“It is unnecessary to feel such anxiety, simply tell him. He will be happy.” You uttered to yourself in an attempt to gather your courage. The breath that you took made your chest puff up and the obi felt tighter than it already was and you slowly let the air out as you touch the shoji and with a widest smile that you can muster, you slide it open.
All air escapes your lungs as you feel your body going numb.
“If only my wife knows how to work her mouth like you do.”
You see your husband leaning on his desk as his hands were lost in a tangle of red locks. She moans against his skin, she was so lost in pleasure of having him in her mouth that you see her moving her hips against his foot.
Your fingers go slack that the barley seed falls limp to the ground. Your quivering fingers raise to your mouth as your nose sting with the threat of tears.
The ground felt uneven and the atmosphere turned heavy that you struggled to take in your next breath, the pressure almost feeling like it will crack your head into two that you stumble backwards, your getas making a loud clattering noise that made the woman lift her head and you felt a sharp pain to your heart when the color of steel swords stare at you.
She scrambles away from Naoya as she pulls at her kimono to cover her nude torso.
“Y/N-sama.” She gasps.
You feel the first tear slipping to your cheek, it was scalding, you think you’ll burn, from the inside.
“How could you?” You heave a breath as you felt yourself choke. “Aku?”
Naoya walks closer to you after making himself decent but the broken look that you throw at him makes his feet feel like they weigh tons that he halts his steps after only taking two.
Aku panted, trying to string words together. Her eyes pleading at Naoya to speak for her, but he was not even looking at her. “I… I wasn’t…” Her words were slurring together as she pulled at her fiery locks. Her eyes were lost and empty as she spiraled down before they turn to you with such venom that you barely even recognize her. “You! It was all you, you bitch! He was mine first-“
It was the first time that you saw Naoya use his cursed technique.
In a split second, Aku was slumped to the floor, unconscious.
“Wife…listen to me.” Naoya composes himself as he approaches you but before he can place his hand on your arm, you were pushing him back.
“Don’t you dare touch me!” You shriek, face going hot in boiling anger.
Naoya sneers. “I don’t see why you must get so upset. You may have the privilege of being called as my wife, but your role is not as different as theirs, all of you are here to serve me.”
Tears stain your cheeks as you look at him.
You try so hard to find any form of regret in his eyes, but you only saw the same indifference that he gave you on the first night of your meeting.
A crack of thunder tore the sky and he sound of torrential rain racing to the parched earth soon fills the silence that falls between two bodies who does nothing in that moment but...breathe…not able to feel anything else but sheer numbing uncertainty…before it comes crashing down.
Your eyes turned blurry as tears continue to stream down your cheeks, but you did not break your gaze from his eyes. Naoya’s hand formed to a fist as he turned impatient for your response. But you did not give him any as you turn your back from him to walk away.
“I am born in power, I am born to lead a great clan, I am too great to be bound to a single woman.” He needs to shut up, he needs to shut up before he breaks you more than he already has. He somehow appeared to know it too, but he felt the need to justify himself. “You can blame the gods for that."
You bring your steps to a halt as your eyes continue to look ahead. “The fault, dear husband, is not in any gods, but in ourselves.”
Naoya calls your name, not noticing how his geta crushed the barley sprout that you dropped. He stops after you turn in the hallway and disappear from his sight.
A loud bang was heard, not unlike a clap of thunder, but it sounded suspiciously close that you can only assume that your husband was responsible for it.
But you cannot bring yourself to care as you can barely even keep yourself walking from how hard your head is pounding and the sway of your unsteady feet was almost too much, but you manage to find yourself out of the house and past your garden, walking deeper and deeper into the forest, soaked to the bone.
Frantic chirps of birds desperately flying to their nests echoes around, and a squirrel skitters past you. All the animals are trying to get home, for they sense a great storm, but you can’t let yourself stay in that wretched house for a moment longer.
You yelp as your geta gets caught in a protruding root, your hand springing forward to break your fall. Slicing the meat of your palm against the rough bark of a tree. Your beautifully made kimono is now painted with mud and grass stains and you did not miss the tearing of a stich or two. Your wet tresses fall to frame and stick to your face as your bun held by the kanzashi that Naoya gave to you loosens. Shaky fingers reach for it and the cold metal presses on your skin as you grip it tightly, the jadeite reflecting the sunrays that seeped pass the thunder clouds. You see your reflection in it and you hated how weak Naoya can make you look that you fling it away.
A strong wind sweeps across, making the branches bow and for the bushes to rustle in protest, reminding you of the storm. Despite your tears making you walk blindly, you push your legs forward. Twigs scrape your legs and tear your silk kimono, the sharp and heavy drops of rain beat your back and arms and your getas squelch against the mud as it splatters to the fabric and to your pristine socks.
The wind howls loudly, as if screaming directly into your ears and it pushes you, pushes you forward. You scream as a howling wind crashes on you and you stumble into a large boulder concealed by a cluster of vines. Your hands sink into the moss and lichen that cover the aged rock, thorns and dried twigs pricking your palm.
The vines seemed to come alive to your touch, shivering before peeling themselves off the rock and slithering and latching themselves to you. You panic and try to get them off, but the thorns anchor themselves on your skin, making it difficult to pull them off.
You sob as it started to circle your waist and began pulling you towards the rock. The grip of the vines slowly grew tighter and tighter and you bring your arms up to brace yourself, only to be dumbstruck as you felt no rock, and only damp hollowness.
Thorns graze your cheeks as it pulls you deeper and deeper. You are sure to break something if it drops you at this height, but the vines were gentle in placing you to the cold damp ground.
However, you did not have the strength to rise as you are hypnotized by what is in front of you.
There was a small cave that seems to be lit with bioluminescent flowers and rocks, the undisturbed haven had the flora and fauna grow and develop lushly. You push yourself up and step deeper into the cave, still cautious of what you may encounter. The last thing that you want is to willingly walk to a nest of an ancient curse. But you doubt curses venture this close to the Zenin estate house.
By some luck, the cave does not seem to have any more intricate passages as you see how light fills the edge of it. The cold stone floor was surprisingly smooth, making it almost slippery for your geta. Your hand seeks support in the cold rough cave wall. You need to get out of your freezing clothes. The storm brought with it a startlingly swift drop of temperature. The chattering of your teeth accompanied the reverberation of your geta against the stone floor.
You cover your eyes for a moment when you near the mouth of the cave, only lowering them down when your eyes adjust and see what is in front of you.
Everything around you are covered with lush green and assortment of wild flowers scattered around. There is a soft rushing of water and you find a spring connected to the clearest pool that you have ever seen and you come to notice that you can no longer hear the storm.
You look around you and realize that you are surrounded by trees that grow around the area are so tall it would probably require wings before you can reach the top and they are protecting you from the harsh weather, but you see the gaps where the tree leaves failed to meet which allowed the sun to shine in the area, along with the soft pitter patter of the raindrops whose momentum were broken by the leaves above. The surrounding trees created a wall that hid the haven.
The stinging cuts on your skin made you smile softly as you came to comprehend. The forest did not intend to hurt you, it was trying to shield you away. Even in Zenin territory, the curse technique of your family still protected you. The flora answers to your call. You are a Hanamura just as they insist that you are a Zenin.
You slip off your wet kimono and close your eyes, trying to dissociate from everything.
With a sigh, you collapse on the wet fabric of your clothing. You carefully poke the petals of a nearby daisy and dewdrops come sliding down.
A curious hummingbird flies over your head before landing on a branch near you.
“I hope you won’t mind my company, little bird.”
You allowed yourself to close your eyes as you sit there in the middle of it all, trying so hard to forget the images that you saw.
The feeling of betrayal that buns in your chest.
You can’t stay there forever, but for now, you’ll remain there.
Chapter Synopsis: You learn that your husband's attention is a fickle thing.
Warning: nsfw, misogyny, a bitch
Word Count: 5730
Chapter 3
The sun was harsh, coating the entire garden with sweltering rays that left your flowers crusting and blanching at the heat. You kneel down and frown as the hard dehydrated soil meets your kimono clad knees, and you touch the peonies gently to aid in bringing life to them.
“Please don’t forget to tell the gardeners to water the flowers, they are starting to wilt.” You sigh as you wipe your forehead with the back of your hand. The servants nod eagerly, afraid you might punish them like their other masters simply because they are dissatisfied.
You rise to your feet to head inside the cool shade provided by the estate house. As much as you wanted to stay in your garden to tend to your plants, you were requested to help prepare for the festival.
Every summer, the Zenin estate celebrates the day that the estate house was built and holds a festival for it. You will be having guests by the afternoon, noble people, rich traders, and performers.
“I am just glad that my garden in Hanamura estate is doing well.” You say to Chiyo and Aku who are both walking behind you. Your mother was glad to put into detail in her letters how they tend to your beloved flowers. It is a shame none of your family can come to the festival as they are receiving a guest, a merchant that was a friend of your father in his younger years. “The flowers here are dying.”
“I would like to see your garden someday, Y/N-sama.” Aku says meekly and you smile at her from your shoulder.
“Oh, you’ll love it there, Aku. The rich soil allows the flowers to flourish, the weather is good there too, always cool but with enough sunshine to nurture the flora.” You smile at the memory before your lips turn upside down again as you pull the kimono on your back, the fabric sticking to your skin with sweat and you mentally scold yourself for trusting your husband in tying your obi, he always ends up making it a tad bit tight, you rub your chest as you felt them ache in the tightness of your kimono.
Chiyo calls your name to hand you a fan. “I visited my sister there a few years ago.” She says and you turn to her with utmost interest.
“Did you really?”
“I remember seeing your home, Lady Zenin. The gate was open and I saw a glimpse of floods of flowers.” She gives you a cheeky smile. “I also recall seeing the young lady of the house, her feet bare as she danced with the butterflies floating around her garden.”
You flush. “I…You saw me?”
“I did. It was enchanting, you were glowing and everything was coming alive in your presence.” I could only pray that the darkness of this place will not douse your light.
Aku sighs longingly, “It sounds like a dream.”
You can’t help beaming as you almost buzzed with elation.
When you hear the sound of clay pots and knives from the kitchen, all three of you silently agree to put a stop to your conversation.
You bow to acknowledge Mai and Maki’s mother who was busy tasting the soup that was brought to her. She also gave you a curt bow before turning to the head chef.
“Add a pinch of salt to that. Naobito-sama does not like his soup bland.”
You stand in the entryway as you clutch your fan, not knowing how you can help. Chiyo and Aki stood by you, not willing to leave their Lady alone.
Zenin-gozen soon turns to you and pats the seat beside her.
“We’re…taste testing.” You say, unsure as you settle beside her.
She turns to you with a look of incredulousness. “You cannot expect us to be cutting vegetables, can you?” She looks at the workers, with her chin tilted upwards. “What would be the reason for hiring such many people?”
You nod with a tight smile. “Of course, Zenin-gozen.”
The chefs soon bring to you three different bowls of rice. You copy Zenin-gozen when she tastes each of them. And the tiniest of frowns appear on your brows, as you try to differentiate each one of them.
“What do you think, Y/N-san?”
You cover your mouth as you swallow and you look at the rice bowls in front of you, trying to come up with a rational answer, by the Crimson tides, you have no idea about their preferences.
“I like this one better,” you say, pointing to the bowl in the middle, “it smells better among the rest and it is more pleasant to chew compared to the others.”
She nods, “You are most certainly right, the other two are a bit dry.”
“The heat is probably harming the crops.”
You receive a nod from her before she turns to the chef. “Alright, we will serve that one in the middle. We will have to send a letter to the Fujitas, their crops are a bit underwhelming this year.”
Your nose scrunches up when a sour scent reaches you. You try to find what it was and saw a chef opening jars of pickles and with peeled ginger and sour mangoes next to him.
A servant bows to you and you smile, but you did not miss how his eyes cut to you before he lowers them once again to pick up all three bowls to dump the contents on the trash. His movements looked frazzled and his clumsiness felt awfully familiar.
His freckled face erupts in a blush when he catches you staring at him before he scurries off.
“What is that smell? Did you burn the tempura?” Zenin-gozen came marching to the poor chef who was already starting to look like he is preparing himself to run away.
You chose to stay behind to rest your back on the chair as your hands try to rub your aching breasts with utmost subtlety, you look around the kitchen before you turn to Aku and Chiyo.
“Who was that kid-…is something wrong Aku?” You ask instead when you see her upset expression.
Her eyes shift to the servant who threw the rice, who is busy scooping up vegetable peels off the work counter, then to the trash. “It’s nothing, Y/N-sama.”
Chiyo meets your eyes but chose not say anything. You stretch your hand to place it on top of Aku’s.
“If something is bothering you, I will always be here to listen. I am your friend after all.”
Aku’s lips part and her steel gray eyes hardens, she gave you a look that you did not understand.
“I have to…May I be excused, Y/N-sama?” Her voice merely a broken whisper.
You stand up to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Yes, Aku, you may go.” You try to give her a reassuring smile but she only gives you a deep bow before she heads out, almost bumping into a man who was carrying a sack of you can only guess as root crops, leaving you upset for not knowing what was bothering her and not being able to do anything about it.
Chiyo clears her throat and you turn to her. “I believe, Aku was bothered with how the rice was so easily discarded, Lady Zenin.”
Your brows knit together. “The rice? I’m afraid, I do not follow.”
“She did not have a fortunate past, Young Master Naoya brought her to work here ten years ago. She was all skin and bones, the poor thing.”
You felt your chest ache for Aku. You grew up in a good family, never even knowing what it is like to be hungry. Poverty was also never a problem back in your estate, and with the abundance of your land, anyone can grow their own food. And everybody was looking out for each other.
Even your garden is so abundant the flowers are frequently snipped to be sold. Now, you use the funds to feed children in an orphanage.
“I’m sorry, I did not realize.” You say with guilt on your voice.
Chiyo shakes her head. “You did nothing wrong, Lady Zenin.”
“I really wish you will stop calling me that, Chiyo. Please call me by my name.”
She only offers you a smile in return. Before you can sit down, your mind wanders back to Aku’s strange expression.
“Chiyo, is it really bothersome if I wanted to be friends with you?”
Her eyebrows rise slowly, telling you that she was clearly not expecting your question.
“The idea is indeed uncommon, but it is not unheard of, Lady Zenin. In fact, we are deeply honored.”
You let out a breath of relief and your eyes sparkle in delight before it dulls out again.
“Why did…when I told her that we are friends, I thought Aku would like the idea too.”
Chiyo smooths out the sleeve of your kimono, quite like how your mother does.
“Lady Zenin, not every noble that we served under is as kind as you.”
You hesitantly agree with Chiyo, as you find yourself being reminded of the fragility of the relationship of a servant and her mistress.
You hear hurried footsteps behind you. “Y/N-san, help me choose the desserts.”
After a few more food selections, you were allowed to retreat to your chambers. You freshen up to be presentable when you receive the guests with your new family. The festival is just a few hours away and you are helping your husband in getting dressed as he busies himself by reading whatever is on the parchment that he has in his hand.
Naoya raises his arm and you duck beneath it to tie his hakama.
He must have been so distracted that he unknowingly shifts his arm and his elbow meets your swollen breasts.
The action earned him a startled and pained squeak form you, stilling his movements for a moment, he turns his head to see you cradling the fat of your breast with your lips jutting out, he shifts his attention back to the paper.
“Apologies.”
You press your arm close to your torso to suppress the tingling sensation that ran on your breasts and tried to resume your work.
Most of the time, when you are helping him get dressed, you always manage to get him to engage in a conversation with you. He indulges you by adding his sharp insights or straight up insulting your ideas, both of which you appreciate as you just laugh them off.
But this day, your husband is particularly silent, even when you try to ask him a couple things about the festival, he only replies with nods and grunts. He is worried about tonight, of course he is.
Such events can be a perfect opportunity for an open rebellion, or it can also be a chance to gauge the other families and gather information for the enemies.
Few hours from now, the Zenin house will be full of vipers with their fangs bared in grins.
As the wife of the heir of the clan, you worry for Naoya.
Your hands run on his back to smooth out the creases, but as you step back to look at him, you see the muscles bulging out of his supposed to be loose kimono, strained and tight with anxiousness but still…calling you in, and when Naoya stands in such close proximity to you, there is only so much that you can do.
And you give in to the urge to ruin your work.
Naoya grunts in surprise when you throw yourself on his back, arms circling his waist as you rub your cheek on his back, giggling like the naughty little thing you are.
He rolls his eyes before reading the list of guests written on the parchment. “I better not find a single crease or else.”
Naoya’s voice was flat and held no bite, that is how you know that he does not mind the affection that you are giving him, but he just has to let out a few threats every now and then because who is he, if not an asshole? His fingers dance on your wrist, tickling you as you sink on him, forgetting about the formalities and just wanted a moment for the both of you.
The loud bell brings you back to reality. Naoya steps away from your now loose embrace and the both of you share a look. What exactly for, you don’t know, and neither does he.
“The guests are arriving earlier than they should be.” He clicks his tongue, and his lip curl up in annoyance. You hum to acknowledge him as you rub you aching breasts and head to your vanity to fix your hair.
Silence once again befalls you and you glance at Naoya from the mirror to see him eyeing your hips, you look away when you saw the tip of his tongue run against a rather sharp tooth.
“You should welcome them, Naoya-sama.” You play off the timidness on your voice by trying to act indifferent as you put on an earring, but Naoya was walking not to the shoji’s direction but towards you.
His steps are slow and calculating, telling you that he is not in a hurry to leave anytime soon. You place both of your hands on your lap as they shake in anticipation.
He stops behind you to meet your eyes from the mirror, his stare was almost sticky, making it close to impossible for you to look away, but you manage.
You clear your throat and put on the other earring before giving him a sweet smile. “I have to get ready for the festival.”
Naoya steps closer to you and traces the embroidery of your kimono. “Of course. It would be a shame if the both of us arrived late.” He whispers before dipping his head to skim your shoulder with his nose. “Especially if you go there all tousled up.” He says in a wry voice.
His hands soon found the delicate knot of your sash and unties it but Naoya did not pull it right off like how he usually does, he instead took his time in peeling the kimono from your delicate body. His glowing eyes watches your flushed expression, only taking his eyes off your face when your heaving chest start to peek out.
With a growl, Naoya lifts you to sit on the vanity table while he sits on the chair you vacated. Your fingers grip his locks as his blown eyes stare intently on your chest. He glances at you before opening his mouth to take your pert bud in between his lips and suck. He groans and you bite your lip as you hear the desperate wet sounds that his mouth makes against your skin
You are both panting as you lock eyes, him still suckling on your breast. You squeeze your plush thighs on his torso and your toes curl, not knowing what to do with the heat between your thighs.
“Na…Naoya-sama!” You whine as Naoya nips your bud between his teeth and digs his fingers on your love handles.
“I bet I can make you cum.” He chuckles breathily, sounding almost drunk.
But you’re not doing any better. You love it, you love having Naoya’s mouth on your body, but you wanted to be filled. You squeeze your eyes shut as frustrated tears come running down your soft cheeks and oh how Naoya loves it.
The bell rings again, announcing the arrival of the second guest but you can no longer care, not when you have your husband suckling on your breast like a starved man, as if trying to coax out milk from you.
Your head lolls clumsily as Naoya peppers your breasts with open mouth kisses, leaving a trail of bruises in his wake.
Naoya curses when you tug his hair harder, but he does not stop you. He is not ignorant to how your hips twitch on his hold, and how the scent of your arousal fills the air, that he so gladly takes in. He finds it adorable when your body knows exactly what it wants. Things even you do not know. You’re still as clueless as the little virgin you were on your first night. Still so shy to tell him what you want. Your tiny feet almost kick in the air when he ducks his head to place a single kiss on your dripping mound to tease you before suckling on your breast once more.
Naoya felt his chest swell with pride. He is doing this, he is the one doing this to you and only him.
Your eyes cross as your husband pushes you over the edge, your mouth opening to let out a soundless scream. Naoya flips up your kimono, wanting to place another kiss on your twitching heat, but his eyes widen when he sees soft gushing of liquid dribbling out of your twitching and swollen lips.
He lets out a groan before he dips his head between your thighs and greedily slurps it, making you sing his name lewdly, Naoya releases your bud and a gossamer string connects his lips from your puffy heat. You nibble your lip when you see him wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
He slowly lowers your thighs and gets up from his chair to let you slump on his chest.
“There, there.” He coos playfully as he pats the crown of your head and you cling to him.
You don’t even have the strength to antagonize his behavior as you let yourself bask in the afterglow.
But the bell rings for the third time.
You look up to him with your teary doe eyes when Naoya gently pushes you off him. He eyes your lips and you wait for him to kiss you but he grazes his lips on your chubby cheek instead and disappear to the washroom, you almost worry that he will leave you, but he comes back shortly with a damp towel. You close your eyes when he wipes it on your warm skin.
His eyes darts to the frown on your face when he touches a tender spot.
“We just have to get you cleaned you up so we can welcome the guests together.”
The bell reverberates as Naoya helps you wear your kimono.
It clangs again as your husband wraps the obi around your waist and Naoya’s brows pinches.
Did she gain more weight?
You hear the bell once more as Naoya pins your hair with the kanzashi that he gave you as an apology gift.
He holds your hand as you slip on your getas to help you with your balance, and he does not let go until you reach the shoji.
Naoya pauses before opening the shoji to throw a carefree smirk at you.
“Be a good wife and walk three steps behind me, understood?”
Naoya did not wait for your response and started to head out to the corridor, with meek little you walking silently behind him, head bowed and hands clasped together daintily.
Loud chattering can be heard in the great hall and you take a deep breath when Naoya slides the shoji open. The volume of the conversation dramatically hushes. You follow quietly behind him as you ignore the stares that you got from your guests.
You figured that this would happen as your father requested your wedding to be celebrated with family alone. He wanted to make it special for you and did not want scheming lords walking about. Right now, you are witnessed as husband and wife for all of the scheming men of the region of Ajisai to see.
You soon hear the boisterous laughter of Naobito Zenin and a man you are failing to recognize.
“Ah there she is, the muse of the nine Lords, Hanamura Y/N.” The short man with a croaky voice next to Naobito spoke.
“Zenin Y/N now, Maru.” Naobito slaps a hand to the man’s back, the impact sends his wine spilling and the man laughs as he places a stubby hand on his rotund belly. “Y/N dear, this is Lord Maru, he holds a fief in the southwest.” Your father-in-law introduces.
You bow to him with a soft smile. “I am very pleased to meet you, My Lord.”
His face erupts into a wild blush as he chuckles in glee. “Heavens, what a beauty she is. I was wondering as to why you did not accept my daughter as your wife, Naoya-san, but now I can clearly see why.”
He steps closer to you, his belly knocks Naoya to the side and you place your fingers in front of your lips to stop yourself from laughing but your attention returns to Maru when he reaches for your hand, he caresses it before placing his greasy lips on your skin.
Your smile quivers as you swallow down the disgusting feeling that crept on your throat.
You hear soft clacks of getas before you pick up the salt in the air.
“Let her breathe, father. The poor thing is scared silly.”
You look pass him to see a tall and sun kissed woman with red fiery locks wearing a bright and golden kimono, which makes you squint as the light reflected from it.
She bows to the Zenin men before smiling at you. “Good afternoon, Lady Zenin. My name’s Maru Sora.”
You tip your head, not bowing as she is lower to you in status but you return her smile. “Pleasure to meet you, Maru-san.”
She laughs before rolling her eyes. “Please. Call me Sora.”
“Oh, as you wish.”
Soft ringing of tiny bells is heard and the guests resume their conversations as they started to head to the direction of the shrine to attend the ceremony.
You walk behind Naoya as he walks next to Sora who is animatedly talking about the beaches in their fief, that was more like an island itself, and how swimming helps her in staying in shape.
You ignore how she discreetly glances back at you when she says it.
There are way too many steps towards the shrine and it does not help the fact that your kimono is isolating your body heat, and you thank the fact that the dark fabric of your kimono does not show the wet patches of your sweat.
You chose to keep your eyes straight as your mood soured.
Once you arrive to the shrine, you are glad when Sora sits next to her father, giving you the chance to sit next to your husband. It does little to quell your crossed spirit.
You feel Naoya tugging and playing with your kimono as the ceremony went on and on but you ignore him to listen to the hour-long history of the Zenins’ greatness and why they are superior among all families in the empire.
When you start to pray, Naoya watches you. Your eyelashes cast a soft shadow of your plump cheeks, lips drawing to a frown at times before returning to their relaxed state.
One by one, the guests started leaving, and you purposely stretch your prayer longer to be left alone in the shrine and walk back to the house by yourself. You’d hate to have to listen to Sora and your husband talk about subjects you are yet to learn.
But when you open your eyes, you are disappointed to find Naoya who has one of his legs bent to support his arm. His boredom clearly shown with how his face leans on his palm.
“One more minute and I would’ve been certain I married a saint.”
You open your mouth to apologize but you stop yourself.
“I did not ask you to stay.”
Naoya arches a brow and gets on his feet to offer you a hand. “Oh? Finally finding our claws, aren’t we?”
You sighed in exasperation as you fix your kimono as you rise from the pillow. Your feet tingling as the blood rushes. Naoya chuckles when you ignore the hand that he offered.
He walks alongside you as you descend the steps from the temple to head to the festival that is already starting judging by the faint cheers and music.
The tangerine haze of the setting sun coats the forest where the stone steps cut through. The sunbeams dance on the ground as they peek through the trees.
You pause in your steps when Naoya places a hand on your hip to guide you away from the path. “It’s a short cut,” he assures. “What did you pray for, wife?”
The dried twig under Naoya’s geta snaps, causing a tiny squirrel to scurry away.
“I prayed for the gods to have mercy on us and send rain.” You spoke in a hushed tone, not wanting to disturb the wildlife any more than you already have.
Naoya startles you with his loud laugh that you stop to look at him.
“I’m glad I amuse you.” You clip. He did not miss your irked tone.
He shakes his head, still chuckling. “Oh wife. The gods have no mercy,” his eyes meet yours, “that’s why they’re gods.”
You choose to stay quiet as the both of you continue on your way back, only stopping occasionally to admire the animals that you see.
“How beautiful.” You whisper breathily when you spot a fox peeking at you behind the bushes and flowers that littered the forest path.
The fox tilts its head in curiosity as you pause in front of it. Naoya stands in quiet as the fox slowly creeps out of the bushes to sniff at your kimono. You gasp in awe as it lets out a short squee before it rubs its nose and head on your leg.
You crouch down to let the fox sniff your hand before it bumps its head on your palm, as if asking you to pet it, so you did. The fox squees in delight as you coo at it.
“No.”
Naoya tells you when you raise your head to him, with your eyes begging.
“We can’t keep a fox.” He eyes it distastefully as it cuddles with your sock clad foot. “It’s a wild animal. I’ll get you any pet you’d like, just not that.”
You pout at him but he does not budge, making you sigh.
“Good bye little fox.” You say as you reach down to pet the fox one last time, its fur so soft and healthy, telling you that it really did not need to be taken care of as it does well on its own.
As you continue on your way, you reach to hold Naoya’s hand, your way of telling him that you are no longer upset. You’re glad when he does not say anything about it, instead, he intertwines your fingers together, but he lets go when the lanterns decorating the estate house comes to view and you stall until you fall three steps behind him.
The performers already started entertaining the guests when you arrive, Naobito and Maru has their cheeks flushed as they guffawed at the skit prepared by the performers. You take Naoya’s hand this time when he offers to help you sit down by the table for the lords of Ajisai.
The walk along the forest calmed you, but it does not last long.
Not when Sora plops on the pillow next to Naoya and engages in a conversation with him about topics in which you have no insight to offer.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never tasted the famous red wine of the Kamos?” Sora gasps at you with her hand placed on her chest, showing off her bejeweled fingers.
You only smile at her politely before shaking your head.
“Well, that is quite unfortunate. Although I totally understand, noble families tend to shield little girls like you from the world.” Sora says with a sweet smile, her bright blue eyes, that reminds you of the ocean, light up before turning to Naoya. “I remember having it with you and Gojō-sama once. We got in so much trouble for it.”
You perk up at the mention of Gojō’s name. Seems like you are not the only lady in the empire that he used to visit.
Naoya chuckles fondly at the memory. “There was also that foreign lord that kept on kissing your ass.”
“He was the worst. He still sends me letters of admiration, and after someone rejected me to go marry off a younger lady from the north, I’m starting to consider it.” She elbows Naoya, winking not so discreetly.
It was rare to hear a genuine laugh from him, as most of the time he was doing it when he’s openly mocking you or being condescending.
Your husband continues the conversation with Sor. Seeing as you did not have anything to add to the conversation, they did not bother to ask you with polite questions any longer.
A plate of wagashi was placed in front of you and you look up to see Chiyo. You gave her a reassuring smile when you see how her gaze flitted to Naoya and Sora, she pats your hand before leaving to serve other people too.
The tempo of the music changes, signaling another performer. You pick up a dango dumpling and bite half of the rose colored ball-shaped treat, eyes lazily watching how a man in black and white kimono strides in. Most of his face is covered with a red cloth and you spot the katana in his grip, you admire the beautiful metal work of the hilt and the bold red covering of the grip.
When you look up, you see that he’s already watching you. You maintain your eye contact until he had to bow in front of Naobito and to Naoya.
You shift nervously on your seat when he unsheathes his katana, wondering what exactly he will be doing.
But then he started moving with the music, waving the blade as if it was a part of his body and his movements were almost fluid, you did not realize that the entire crowd went silent until the dance was over and everybody erupted in applause. Including you.
His eyes cut to you one last time before he exists the floor to give way for the next performer.
The next performers were girls in flowing fabric and they danced with the fabrics flowing in the air like dragons. You help yourself to another stick of dango dumpling and wonder if you could ask Chiyo to bring you a plate of those sour mangoes that you saw in the kitchen earlier.
“I hope that the Lady won’t mind if I keep her company for a while.”
You barely hear the voice above the loud music, but you look to your left and see a man who’s sporting a dark colored kimono sitting next to you. You hesitate to ask him his name as his eyes were so familiar to you.
“Have…Have we met before?” You add in a soft smile to avoid looking rude.
He laughs heartily. “Well, I was just giving you a show not so long ago.”
Your mouth forms an ‘o’ on realization.
“That was you?”
“That was me. Name’s Hakari Kinji, Lady Zenin.” He says in a proud voice. “Gave you one hell of a performance, didn’t I?” He raises a brow at you as he reaches for your untouched cup of wine.
“Yes, you did! Everybody enthralled by it.” You say giddily. “You had such splendid techniques, I worried that you might cut yourself but you did not and for a few moments the blade look weightless-”
He raises a slitted brow in amusement as you cover your mouth in embarrassment for rambling, especially in front of a man you just met.
“I can’t help but notice you staring more at the sword than its wielder earlier. Would you like to hold it?” He pulls his katana from his side to show it to you.
“I don’t know if I can, Hakari-san.” You say taken aback. Your father never let any blade aside from the butter knife come anywhere near you.
“Too bad.” Hakari holds your wrist and gently twist to have your palm face up. “I insist.” And he watches your astonished expression as he places the sword on your hand.
“It looks so big and heavy.” You snicker at the juxtaposition of the blade on your hand. “It looks silly, why are you so adamant to have me hold it?” You smile as you lift it up and down, testing its weight.
He grins. “If I fancy the idea of your delicate fingers wrapping around something big and heavy, would you hold it against me?” His says with his tone playful.
You gave him a puzzled smile, unsure of what he meant. He only shakes his head when he realized the innuendo flew over your head.
Hakari watches the scene of your husband and Sora behind you, laughing amongst themselves, as they ignore everything around them.
“Forgive me, my lady but I’m afraid I must say it. Your husband is an ass.” He leans to whisper and you raise your arm to allow the sleeve of your kimono to cover your laugh.
“No, it is my fault. I’m awful company. Sooner or later, you shall tire of me too.” You say with an easy smile, with no hint of resentment or bitterness in your tone.
He gives you a feign look of seriousness. “No other company in the world shall satisfy me more than yours, my lady.”
You laugh softly at his exaggeration and Hakari is barely keeping his act together, with his teeth peeking behind his lips.
“Never would it cross my mind to pin you as a poet.”
“That is because you don’t know me at all Lady Zenin.” Hakari’s face sombers as he looks you in the eyes and your laughter dies down at the sudden shift of the atmosphere.
He’s right. You cannot allow yourself to get comfortable just because he was friendly to you. You forget yourself!
“But,” his looks behind your shoulder before leaning close to you again. “If you decide that you’ve had enough of these fuckers,” Hakari flashes you cocky yet reassuring smile. “You can trust me to get you out of here, Dumpling.”
It was barely after sunrise but the Zenin estate was already buzzing with life. The servants starting their day early to run errands and prepare breakfast for the Zenins. Chiyo and Aku are both in the kitchen already, heating up the water that you need for the tea that you'll be serving to your husband.
"Good morning, Lady Zenin." Chiyo and Aku greets you with a bow.
"Good morning!" You chirp while taking the kettle from Aku. "Thank you, Aku."
"You're welcome." The woman smiles at you, making you beam at her in return.
Chiyo clears her throat and Aku ducks her head quickly, making her bright red bangs to fall from the pins that held it together. As Chiyo turns around to get the tea leaves, you and Aku share a look and giggle amongst yourselves, and you so loved her smile, her cool gray eyes gleaming with happiness. Not all servants in the Zenin estate has the luxury of finding joy in this household.
"It's alright really. I would like it very much if you see me as a friend rather than just a lady to serve." You say while taking the tea leaves from Chiyo to start preparing your husband's tea.
The older woman frowns at the idea but you see only concern and no malice. "Lady Zenin," she begins, "as nice as it is for you to say that, I have been here for a long time and that will not do us any good. And I hate for them to have a reason to make your stay here difficult."
You gently place the teapot lid after taking a whiff from the tea, humming in satisfaction before taking a hydrangea from the pile of fresh flowers on the table and you twirl it in your fingers before scooping up the rest to place on the tea tray. You meet Chiyo and Aku's worried faces with a bright smile.
"If I have two good friends here, then how bad can it be?" you pick up the tea tray, carefully balancing it with both hands. "I'll be off now. I shall see you in the gardens later."
Aku quickly slides the shoji open for you and you whisper a quick 'thank you'.
The walk to your room was quick, free from pausing to acknowledge any member of the family. The servants were also helpful in keeping to the side, bowing gently with their heads.
Although you chuckle when a scrawny young man, holding unkemptly folded linens, quickly scrambles to open the shoji for you, making you lean back when he gives you a forty-five-degree bow.
You clear your throat to attempt a more formal voice. "Thank you..."
He lifts his head and you watch his eyes widen, a soft blush coating his freckled cheeks. "Yu...Yuuma. My name is Yuuma, Lady Zenin."
You smile at his reaction, making his face erupt in a deeper shade of red. "Well, Yuuma, you have my gratitude for opening the shoji."
"Of course, Lady Zenin." He bows deeper, clutching the linens that look like they were about to fall off.
Careful to not make a sound, you head inside your bedroom, as Yuuma gently closes the screens behind. You pause when you see Naoya sprawled out in bed, with an arm throw on his face, the blanket barely covering the tufts of golden hair peeking from his pelvis.
With a shaky breath, you place the tea tray on the nightstand, gaze flitting back to your husband who, when asleep appears to be an angelic creature as the sunrays seep past the thin window.
Until he opens his mouth.
"You gonna offer me my tea or what?"
You yelp, jumping in surprise. Your behind bumping into the tea tray. "Naoya-sama!" Some of the tea spilled into the pristine tray, much to your annoyance.
Naoya opens one eye to peep at you. "That should teach you not to sneak on people." He believed after the incident of him nearly choking you to death, you would have learned your lesson. He is yet to be correct in his assumption.
Your lips jut out, a mark of being crossed at him, as you place a hand atop your racing heart. Naoya sits up and motions for you to come closer with his finger doing a 'come hither' motion, you lift your kimono and the soft mattress sinks under your knees as you crawl closer to him.
"That was a month ago." You drape your body on his, he doesn’t even budge. "Forgive me."
Naoya hums when you place a kiss on his jaw.
The past month has been full of trials and errors from the both of you, and even though your husband was never fond of romancing you like how you first thought he would, you've come to realize that there are times when he doesn't mind if you shower him with affection when you are in the comforts of being alone and away from prying eyes..
"That, I can forgive, but is there a specific reason why you chose to wake me with all your clamoring outside instead of your usual greeting?"
Naoya leans on the headboard and you follow quickly, snuggling to him.
"I did not mean to."
Your voice sounds muffled with how you press your cheek on his chest for warmth. Naoya reaches for the tea, and you lazily trace his abdomen.
"My flowers are doing really well, I'm quite proud of them. Do you want to have an afternoon tea with me today in the garden?" You ask, tilting your head up to look at him, Naoya meets your hopeful eyes with his half-lidded ones for a moment before he sighs and sip on his tea.
"If you have a busy day, I would understand." You mumble.
"Good."
Keeping your mouth shut was best when he becomes dismissive.
Only the puffs of breath that Naoya make fills the silence, there is also an occasional chirping of birds and a soft whooshing of wind but it was tranquil, making your eyelids heavy. You squeeze your body closer to Naoya to leech off his body heat. He snakes an arm behind you and his palm rests on the flesh of your exposed thigh and softly caresses it.
At times like this, you like to pretend. Pretend to be just a normal couple somewhere in the countryside, in a small cabin far from his family, far from your duties, just you and him.
And you pretend that he loves you.
But the closest thing to affection that your husband give you seems to be always rooted from the flesh.
It didn't take long for Naoya to start kneading your thighs. Making you grumble for him stop, your delicate hand gently squeezing his wrist.
"What?" Naoya drawls, nose skimming your puffed cheek.
"I said I do not want to!" You said firmly as he bites your neck. "You called me a horrid name last night."
Heat continues to creep up on your face as you remember last night's event. Naoya was relentless despite you begging him for a break. His only response being, ‘it’s your job’, ‘need an heir’, ‘you’ll look so pretty swollen with my child.’
Naoya frowns as he tries to remember. "Slut?"
Your fingers quickly press on his lips to chastise him, "Stop saying that Naoya-sama. That is too vulgar." You gasp but your husband rolls his eyes and you take no offense when he called you a ‘goody-goody’ already used to his quips now.
A deep chuckle rumbling in his chest startles you, but before you could speak, Naoya grips you from under your knee and drags you beneath him. Your hands useless as you try to stop him from hiking your kimono up to your hips. Your legs flying to his sides in an attempt to push him away.
And Naoya stops, his large hands digging on your soft hips that had your pillowy flesh spilling between his fingers. His unabashed eyes stare down at your puffy lips before looking at you.
"Slut's too vulgar for you? What d'you wanna be called then? A maiden?"
You shake your head, bun coming undone. "Stop it! Naoya-sama please, last night we- ah!"
Your nails dig in his shoulder when Naoya spreads your lips. He laughs when he sees pearly liquid trickling from you. “A maiden no more.”
A scream bounces off the walls of your bedroom when your husband dives his head between your thighs, the tip of his tongue catching the fluid before sliding it back inside your folds.
He presses his face in your mound with a playful growl, making your eyes squeeze shut. Naoya hooks his arms beneath your thighs to pull you closer, you see the muscles on his back rippling as he hunches over you like a beast devouring his prey, and you bite your lip in embarrassment when you see angry red lines staring back at you. You might have to clip your nails later. Your mouth parts, heat spreading to your belly and legs as Naoya snaps his eyes to you while he nips on your bud sending a bolt of electricity that had your toes curling. You feel a tug deep inside your belly and your slick starts to flow abundantly on your puffy lips.
"There she is." He chuckles before placing a kiss on your bundle of nerves.
A garbled mix of his name and a moan escapes your lips, your fingers raking on his locks. Your thighs quiver when he sucks on your lips. His labored breathing and sinful groans had you feeling hot all over.
So close, you can feel it, the flame slowly consuming you whole and you fear that you might burst, close, so close
You moan out his name in distress when he stops, your confused eyes meeting his jaded ones, you cling to his arm when he pulls away, your kimono loosening up with your movements.
“Thought you said you don’t want it?” Naoya raises a brow at you, making you let go of him with such reluctance to rest your back again on the mattress.
You open your mouth to retort but you feel your nose stinging, and tears soon blurred your vision.
“Oh, is my little wife crying? Didn’t get to finish?” Naoya coos mockingly at you. You nod your head, the kanzashi that he has given you falling to the mattress, and your hair tumbles down your shoulders.
“Then I suppose, I should help her then?” He moves to get on top of you, his warm hardness sinking on your plush tummy and his arousal leak from his tip and to your skin. And you hear a small rip from your kimono.
You nod at him again, eyes glassy with tears.
“Please! I promise I’ll never deny you again. Naoya-sama, please.”
And how could he say no when you ask so nicely?
The sun rose high up in the sky as you got lost in the push and pull of your sensual dance.
The estate bell soon resounded, its clanging threatening to make your ears burst but you never break your eye contact with Naoya. It was hard to do so when you are still drunk with the afterglow. You allow yourself to shamelessly stare at your husband, from the sharp cut of his eyes, to the elegant arch of his eyebrows, and to his lips. You wonder how they would feel when they don’t latch on your body, to instead, just press a gentle kiss on your lips.
Your husband seems to be avoiding you when you try to do so.
His eyebrows pinch together, his eyes remain passive, leaving you guessing of what he is thinking about.
“Naoya-sama, did I do something wrong?” You asked with your voice hushed.
His tongue darts to lick his lips, tasting you there. His eyes bore into you with such deep intensity and assessment. His bicep flexes underneath your head when you let your fingertips wander to the warm metal piercing on his ears.
“Did I fail to make you feel good?” You tried again even though your heart pounded hard, afraid of what you may hear next.
Naoya’s nose crinkles at your question. “Felt good, sure. You’re a good fuck,” you feel your chest tightening, “just a little too innocent.”
He gently pulls his arm and places your head on the pillow as he stood up to stretch. You sit up on the bed. Averting your eyes from his body, letting it drop to your lap. Your hands fisting the blanket as you bring it to your chest.
Naoya looks at you from his shoulder and his index finger scratches his head. “Listen,” you bring your eyes to him as he sits back down on the bed next to you, “don’t mull it over too much. Just never had a pillow princess like you before, ‘s all I’m saying.”
You’re not sure if that’s supposed to make you feel better.
You nod your head at him, attempting a smile. “I understand, Naoya-sama. If you would permit, I would like to rest here a little longer.”
Naoya can read your emotions like an open book but chooses to not say anything about it, instead he gives you a passive smile. “Of course. I’ll have the servants bring your breakfast here.” He kisses the top of your head. “Take all the rest that you need.” He pats your cheek before heading to the washroom.
You purse your lips as you think about what Naoya said. Should you go to a brothel? Have them teach you how to please a man?
The hydrangea from the tea tray catches your eye and you pull the sheets off you to drape Naoya’s haori kimono that he discarded the night before on your bare body.
You take a deep breath as his scent engulfs you. You don’t know how long you stood there, smiling like an idiot but you decide that its best to stop before your husband catches you.
The clay vase on your nightstand was cool under your touch, your nimble hands work on taking out the wilted hydrangeas to replace it with new ones. The tatami mat cushioning your bare feet as you step back to admire your work.
The washroom screen slides open and Naoya’s footsteps gets louder as he heads to your direction. His arm wrapping around you. “What are you doing in my clothes, thief?” He smells like sandalwood and soap and a certain musk you seem to really like.
He grins when you giggle. You’re not mad at him, which pleases him. He was worried he would have to win you with another gift to appease your mood. Your soft hands cup his cheek as you throw your head back to see him. His eyes are narrowed and strict but you know better than to believe it.
“You ripped mine.”
Naoya litters your shoulders with nips and kisses, replying with a hum.
“I should be heading out.” Naoya groans.
You let out a pleased sigh when he cups your breast from his open haori, guiding you gently until your upper body rests on the mattress. Your knees buckle, almost hitting the ground when Naoya places his body on top of yours, but he quickly holds your hips in place. You can only moan as Naoya leaves a trail of wet kisses on your back as his haori slips from your body.
You spend a good hour drooling over the mattress as your husband satiates his appetite.
In the garden later on that day, you sit with Chiyo and the twins as you enjoy the fresh air underneath a large willow tree. Your eyes brighter than usual, and your smile a tad bit warmer.
Chiyo watches you with curiosity, “you seem happier today, Lady Zenin.”
Mai and Maki raise their heads from the flower crowns that they are making to peer at you.
You flush at the sudden attention. “I…I am.”
Maki was quick to give you a disbelieving look. “You sure about that?” For an eight-year-old she is awfully perceptive. “You’re married to that nasty fox after all.”
“Maki, that is not a very nice thing to say.” You frown at her as you lower your own flower crown. “Naoya-sama is kind to me.”
She snorts, “Right.” If her mother heard her making such noise, the girl would have earned herself a pinch.
Mai gives her unfinished flower crown to Chiyo, who gladly continues it for her. Mai lies on her stomach as she rests her head on her palm, you laugh when she gives you a silly smile, her feet swinging in the air.
“Y/N-san,” she calls in a singsong vice, “do you love Naoya?”
Chiyo pauses, you can see her how her hand stops tying the knot of the flower crown, even Maki turns to you again. You clear your throat as you shift your legs from underneath you, feeling like the grass was digging too deep on your legs. But you know that you’re just trying to buy yourself some time.
“Naoya-sama, Mai.” You correct her as you take a blade of grass that was caught on her bangs. “My heart if his, my sweet.”
She seems satisfied with your answer nodding in response. Still, her eyes remained ever so curious. “How about Naoya? Does he love you?”
Your smile almost breaks as you feel your hands tremble. Naoya was not exactly the type of person that you expected to have as a husband while growing up. He was at times, the opposite of most things that you dreamed of, but he was different in his own way that still made your heart flutter.
But love.
You don’t know if he loves you.
Or if he will ever love you.
“I believe Naoya-sama is very fond of the Lady.”
You look at Chiyo who has a gentle smile on her face.
Maki scoffs, “As if that bastard could ever be fond of anybody but himself. Naoya’s only amused if there’s blood and killing involved.”
“Maki!” A voice behind you calls, there stood the twins’ mother, and she was not happy.
The twins visibly stiffen and you did not miss how Mai gripped Maki’s kimono.
You rise to your feet along with Chiyo to greet her.
She bows to you and glares at Maki who has a quivering Mai hiding behind her. You smile at their mother as you walk behind the twins before you smooth down their hair. “I was just teaching them how to make flower crowns, Zenin-gozen.”
Her glare was on Maki the entire time. “Of course.” She gives you a curt bow before snatching Maki’s arm in a tight grip and began dragging her away, the little girl stumbling to keep up. Mai looks at you helplessly before running after her twin.
You follow them with your gaze until they disappear around the corner.
“How could a mother treat her child in such manner?” Your mother would always talk your ear off but never has she tried to inflict physical pain, so did your father. “What exactly is going to happen to Maki, Chiyo?”
She looks at you, the wrinkles on her forehead becoming more prominent now. “There is no certainty, my Lady. But slander against the family is considered not dissimilar to treason.”
Your eyes widen in disbelief and fear for Maki. “She is but a child!”
Chiyo nods. “Which is why I suggest we keep this between us. We are lucky it was only their mother who heard. She is a cold woman but she would never let her daughters go through such punishment, but if word got out, Maki might receive more than just spankings.”
You shake your head, scandalized. “I would not be surprised if curses are born in this house.”
“That is how they raise children here, Lady Zenin.” Yet disapproval was evident on Chiyo’s voice. “It is still better than having them sent to the disciplinary pit.”
You turn to Chiyo, confused. “Disciplinary pit? I don’t think you have mentioned this to me before Chiyo.” You start to walk back into the house as Chiyo walks behind you, the unfinished crows held in her wrinkly hands. You stall in your steps to have her walk beside you.
“It is located near the cursed warehouse and armory, Lady Zenin. It is where the family keeps the curses.”
You glance at Chiyo to see if she was bluffing but you never really strike her as someone who lies.
“Why would they keep curses in here? Aren’t they supposed to be exorcised?”
The old woman nods. “They need them for,” she pauses to find the right word, “training and just like the name itself, discipline.”
Just how cruel is this family? Curses as a form of punishment.
You think of little Maki, often criticized for not having cursed energy. But what she lacks, she makes up with her spirit, and you admire her greatly for it.
As you turn in the corridors of the house, a distant yell reaches your ears, but before you could see, a large arm with scars crisscrossing on the thick skin stops you. You look to your left and see Jinichi Zenin.
You and Chiyo bow in greeting and he nods to acknowledge you.
“Use the other path.” His voice is gravelly as he spoke to Chiyo before he looks down on you, “I’m quite certain that the Lady will not enjoy the sight of her husband flogging someone.”
Your mouth falls ajar. “He would never!”
Jinichi’s laugh was cruel and guttural. It chills your bones. “Do you even know your husband, young lady?”
“I-” You cut yourself off when a particularly pungent stench reaches your nose, making your eyes water as it threatened to tickle throat to summoning bile. You can’t quite place what it is but it reminded you of a wet dog.
You are about to ask what it was but you notice that you have another company. Hidden on the shadows was a cloaked man, he appears to have no interest in speaking so you chose not to acknowledge him, not wanting to be rude.
“I will be off to see my husband. Thank you, Jinichi-san.” You say firmly, chin tilted up, making the man sneer.
You and Chiyo bow stiffly and started to head to the clearing. Naoya is cruel but he certainly would not have flogged someone himself would he? He is not as monstrous as they paint him to be. You refuse to believe it. But your breath hitches when you hear screaming in agony. You stall and swallow thickly. A bead of sweat spearing on your temple and sliding down.
Chiyo offers to take a different path but you shake your head and press on.
A man’s screams started to get louder the closer you got. Along the way, you pick up from the whispering in the crowd that it was a member of the kukuru unit who was guarding the treasury last night, apparently a hefty amount of gold was stolen.
Servants and the kukuru parted to let you pass, and you froze in your step, hand flying to your mouth as you watch in horror how your husband lands another hit on the man’s already bloody back.
His flesh was torn and you see a few bones peeking out as blood pooled at his feet, the very same blood that coated your husband’s hakama pants.
You take a step back.
That is not Naoya, you refuse to believe it. That man who was holding a bloody whip had a satisfied look on his eyes as he smiled sharply down at the poor soldier, you see the blood splatters on Naoya’s cheek but he only wipes it with his fist. Fist that had blood caked under his fingernails and painting his knuckles.
“He deserved it, any man who is unfit to serve should die.” Another member of the kukuru beside you murmurs to the person beside him. Your stomach sours as the people around him whisper their agreements to the statement.
You feel bile slowly rising to your throat.
“That makes a hundred. That should teach all of you a lesson.” Naoya bellows on the crowd, it disturbs you greatly just how he could manage to be proud for doing such a horrible deed.
You did not expect to see Aku there. She hands a towel to Naoya, and you wonder how she can remain straightfaced after witnessing such cruelty.
Is this how everyone in the Zenin estate is? Are the stories of how they are bloodthirsty demons true? Was everything that Maki said true?
The sound of the soldier’s labored and agonized groans drowns in the pounding of your heartbeat. Your chest heaving when you feel the air thinning out as men snickers about how the man deserved it all. How he should have been fed to curses. The ringing in your ears grow louder and louder.
“Wife.”
An all too familiar voice breaks you from your trance. All the colors around you mixing together before it singled out to the color of his eyes. Naoya reaches to touch your cheek, pausing for a moment when you recoil before cupping your cold pale flesh with his now clean hand. He leans down to try to get your frazzled gaze to steady on him.
He blocks the sight of the unconscious soldier when your eyes flit to him.
“What are you doing here?” He asks in a low voice. An attempt to a soothing tone. As if he was talking to a snared bunny.
Your words are stuck on your throat as your mouth runs dry. Naoya guides you inside the house, after dismissing Chiyo. Your feet are leaden, your body has warmth and cold warring as thoughts and questions echo loudly.
The image of the man kept returning to your head his agony making you break free from your husband’s hold as you steady yourself in the nearest wall, your arm clutching your belly when you double over, dry heaving.
Naoya holds your hand and rubs your back, it’s not doing anything but he cannot simply stand and watch you. He grits his teeth when he sees your face drained with color.
“Why did you have to come?”
You only duck your head, not wanting to acknowledge him. Squeezing your eyes shut, you try to shove the image of him whipping the poor man out of your head.
Tired of trying to help you walk, Naoya picks you up and moves in the direction of the infirmary.
He watched them check on you as you lay there, he was barking orders to anyone who stops moving even for a second, while you fade between consciousness and unconsciousness.
You try to turn your head when someone tries to check your eyes. You let out a shaky sigh when you see the blood on Naoya’s pants, breath turning uneven, praying that the image that you saw will ever leave your head.
“I believe the blood is making her ill, Naoya-sama.” The healer turns to Naoya, not backing down from his master’s withering glare.
But it only took one whimper from you and Naoya was already heading out and back to your shared chambers.
Naoya grits his teeth, his chest burning in rage for the failure of the servants to announce your presence. He would’ve chosen to exile the soldier if he knew you would be there to see.
The shoji almost rips with the intensity of Naoya’s maneuver. Yet he stops dead on his tracks as the wilted hydrangea that you brought that morning greets him. It wasn’t as radiant as it seemed to look in your hold, now it looked droopy and bruised, almost like it was hiding itself from him.
Why wouldn’t it? When it is faced with a monster such as him?
He will order for all punishments to be done with discretion from this day forward. Naoya hastily rips all his bloodied clothes to throw them straight to the trash, leaving the hamper empty. Making you see it is the last thing that he’d want.
He did not like it.
He did not like how you flinched away from him, how you looked at him like you did not know him, like you feared him.
“Fuck!” He punches the wall in anger. The skin on his knuckles split and his blood dripped to his palms as he clenches his hand to a fist, allowing his blood to paint the pristine tatami with abstract splatters of crimson.
He loved it when people are afraid of him. The look on their eyes just as he is about to take the life off them fuels something inside him and he reveled on it. But when Naoya saw it in your eyes, he was disgusted with himself.
It was dusk when you wake up.
Naoya straightens on his chair when he hears you shuffling around your shared bed. Murmuring in confusion of how you ended up in your bedroom.
Your bedroom that has its trash emptied, with no traces of crumpled paper splattered with jet black ink and blood soaked clothes.
Your bedroom with its new tatami mats replacing the worn ones that you have grown accustomed to.
Your bedroom with a freshly picked hydrangea on the vase by your windowsill.
“I carried you here.” He grumbles.
Naoya eyes the wrapped package on his desk as he waited for your reply, when he didn’t get any, he decides that getting over it quickly was better.
“Y/N, you’re no longer in your home. You’re in the Zenin household now.” He rises from his chair to study your face. “And we do things differently.” He sits next to you, just like what he did that morning. “Sometimes…we do things to keep the estate in line.” He continues but he still got no response from you. “They were necessary.”
You still refused to look at him.
Fine, he’ll try a different approach.
He places a neatly packaged item on your lap.
You glance at him before you hesitantly reach for it, he carefully watches your expression and felt relief wash over him when the smallest smile spreads on your lips.
You unwrap the sakura mochi to bite half of it, the texture and flavor still as good as the first one that Naoya had the chefs make especially for you.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, wife.” Your eyes meet his. “You have my word, you will not have to witness such thing once more.” Naoya reaches for your hand to brush his lips on your knuckles. “Forgive me?”
“You are very difficult to understand, Naoya-sama.” You whisper as you brush his stray hair away from his eyes. “You are often harsh, sometimes violent, but you are also very sweet and kind.”
He leans away to throw his head back in laughter before looking at you.
“I am never sweet nor kind.” And he means every word.
“I think you are.” You shrug. “And I shall only forgive you once you help me finish this.” You wave the half-eaten wagashi in front of him and Naoya bites his tongue to stop himself from giving you a clever remark before he throws you a calculating look and hesitantly opens his mouth.
You got your entire life to figure each other out, but for now, you will have to learn through trial and error.
Chapter Synopsis: You learn the truth of being a woman in the Zenin clan.
Warning: mentions of violence, misogyny, optimist reader
Word Count: 2846
Chapter 1
Since he was a young boy, it was always the estate bell that woke Naoya from his slumber. The incessant clanging of metal against metal always grating on his ears, but as he grew up, the sound became more bearable, expected even. Yet this morning, there was no resounding clanging, and he wakes up to voice in his room and a hand placed on him.
The unfamiliar sensation made him move in reflex as he snatch whatever was petting his face, his other hand flying to the direction of the assassin's neck.
But as the blurriness fade from his drowsy eyes, he was met not by an assassin but the startled face of his wife, who was simply trying to wake him with a sweet melodious voice and a soft caress on his cheek.
His back quickly leaves the bed to sit up, no trace of sleepiness on him. Naoya grips both of your arms, shaking you before yelling at your face. "Do you wish to die?"
Too shocked to talk, you can only gape at emptiness, your hand moving to touch your own throat that Naoya almost crushed, wincing as you felt it starting to bruise.
Hearing Naoya call your name made your focus snap back to his ire shrouded eyes.
You slowly shrug off his grip to offer him a shaky smile, not knowing what else to do.
Never has it come to you that he may respond with such viciousness, it made your heart quiver in fear as you see him more clearly.
"I apologize for...for startling you, Naoya-sama. I brou...I brought your tea." You say breathlessly, eyes turning glassy.
Naoya's eyes flit from your cracking smile to the table where a cup that had steaming tea in it sits. He run his hand down his face in an attempt to compose himself. "Where in the deepest depths of the Crimson Sea did you get the idea to sneak up on me?"
You swallow nervously when he glowers at you, nostrils flaring as he let out a sharp sigh, uneasiness made you drop your gaze to the sheets covering his thighs.
"Bring me my tea."
You quickly do as he says. Climbing off the bed to carefully hand him the tea, his eyes never left your face as you remain standing, keeping your distance from him, holding the tea tray while you glue your eyes to the floor.
"Have your throat checked by the healer." He mutters and you bow to him before scurrying out of the quarters. You slide the shoji close, and meet his eyes as he sips from his cup.
As you navigate towards the infirmary, your fingers hover around your bruising throat.
Naoya was just taken by surprise, that's all. He wouldn't really hurt you.
You smile at the servants that pause to bow, and you tell them to continue with their work. You ignore how their eyes linger to your throat for a moment.
As you arrive to the infirmary, your steps falter at the smell of blood and medicinal herbs, but just as your knuckles brush against the shoji, it slides open, and you come face to face with a beat-up guard, as you lower your gaze, you see how his bandaged hands are shorter than they should be and ends with a stump, he was not expecting to see you, it was clear with how his eyes widen and was quick to give you a deep bow. You didn't miss the fear in his eyes.
Your eyes follow the bloody hand that gripped the shoji open. "Get away from the Lady, scum!" You do a double take when the hand leads you to Ranta Zenin. You always think that the young man had a chirpy personality but perhaps you are wrong. His eyes held fury as he continues to look down on the poor man who was cowering before running off.
"I apologize for that, Lady Zenin."
You are tempted to ask him what it was about but you are starting to think that it's not too smart of a decision to make, he is still a Zenin after all. Ranta however, felt the need to explain. After all, he thought highly of you even though you're a woman. A poor fact to be glad about. You doubt you’d get the same treatment if you are not the wife of the heir of the clan.
"He tried to grab one of the twins. Claimed to just be helping Mai after she tripped but I saw him touching her thighs. Of course, he denied it, was only dusting off the poor lady's knees, he said. But that scum should know better than to touch a Zenin. He's lucky it was me who saw him and not Ogi-sama himself."
You wonder if it was the trick of light but you saw how Ranta's eyes look a little hazy.
"If the other clans found out, it will be difficult to wed off Mai," he sneers, "she should no longer be allowed to play in the gardens."
Stiffly giving him a smile, you spoke, "Mai was lucky that you were there to come to her aid, but she is still a child-"
"Mai will grow up to be a Zenin lady and she is to remain pure and untainted so she can be married to a reputable husband." He spoke with finality.
You've come to realize that it wasn't chirpiness that made Ranta's eyes shine, it was viciousness.
The healer was swift in seeing you and prompting you to leave the infirmary and its godawful stench. More guards and servants are to arrive soon. You also appreciate that the arnica flower medication proved to be more effective than you thought.
You wander for a bit, eyes careful in staying low, you explore the house more. The wood and carvings look older than the ones in your home, yet some patterns you have seen in your home as well. It might be because Hanamura and Zenin are in the same region, Ajisai. As you arrive in the garden that was given to you by the Zenins, the fresh scent of flowers welcome you. Your eyes glitter at the sight of different colored flora in small pots that are just waiting to be transferred to their permanent home.
The personal maids that were assigned to work under you bows and greet you. You return their greetings with a bright smile, hoping to start a good relationship with them. You are now well aware of how the Zenins are when it comes to how they treat their servants, but you would rather build loyalty and friendship than instill fear.
"Y/N-sama, the flowers are ready to be replanted. You can tell us where you want them to be and we can plant them for you." A servant who you notice had a different style of kimono spoke, you watch how tiny wrinkles are found around her tired eyes, and you feel bad as you think of how the Zenins must have contributed to that.
"No, it is alright. I want to help plant them myself."
Hesitation is evident on their faces but they eventually concede. You happily share your knowledge about flowers to them, as they also traded some of the stories about the flowers that they had in their backyard when they were young. It seems that the older woman was named Chiyo, and you were right about the Zenins being responsible for her tired appearance as she was serving the family for forty-three long years.
Though she appears strict and uptight, you feel warm with the sense of familiarity that she carries with her. Some of her expressions matched your mother's.
It reminds you to write a letter to home in the near future, just to ease the uneasiness that you know your parents are feeling.
Your dainty hands gather the soil around the roots as you imagine tucking the pretty flower into bed, you press softly so as to avoid having dirt caking your nails. "Aku, please pass me the next one." You called to a woman who has been helping you. She is only a few years older than you, yet her soft features and shy personality made you think of her as a younger sister.
"Aku?" You called again when she didn't respond. You raise your head up to see her looking at someone behind you as she held the black dahlia that you were supposed to plant, the giggles and hushed stories that you were listening to has stopped. You look around only to find them all standing up with their heads bowed.
As you turn your head, there stood your husband. His arms are crossed as he stood a few feet away from you. You quickly rise to your feet and bow to him.
"Naoya-sama, what brings you here?"
You wait for his answer but he only clicks his tongue at you.
“Tell me, Chiyo. After I assigned so many of you to dote on my wife, why is her hands covered in dirt?" He asks in an eerily calm tone, his eyes never leaving yours, telling you that he asked the question not to get Chiyo's answer.
A servant brings you a bowl of water, almost spilling it in her haste and you dip your hands in it, a towel was quickly wrapped around your hands to dry them.
You turn to your husband who is patiently waiting for you to finish. "Naoya-sama, it was my fault. I told them that I wanted to help plant the flowers."
"You got dirt on your knees and kimono, trying to play gardener." He drawls, you see how his eyes train to Aku's hands. Your heart pounds against your chest, was it a little too bold to have that flower planted on your garden? You're afraid that he'll see it as an act of disloyalty. But you did not ask for the flower for its meaning but for its beauty.
"Leave us."
The servants didn't need to be told twice as they quickly leave you with your husband. Chiyo gave you a concerned look but you smile at her to tell her that you will be alright. Aku seems to be frozen in place, staring at Naoya.
"Aku? You can leave us." You smile at her. She gave you one more look before bowing to Naoya and you, she then excuses herself.
Naoya stands before you, eyes appearing to be sizing you up and you remain still, waiting for whatever scolding he's about to give you but your eyebrows rise when Naoya unfolds his arms and dangles out a rectangular box wrapped in furoshiki right in front of your face. You curiously look at Naoya before reaching out for the box, which he lifts away from your reach just as your fingers graze the corner of it.
"The tea was good." He drones before placing the box on your hand with such gentleness.
It's not an apology but it made you smile at him so sweetly.
"I'm glad you liked it."
Your eyes flit to the bench and Naoya catches up and ushers you to it. He places his hand on the small of your back to make you walk alongside him when you stalled to walk three steps behind him. You felt both gentleness and firmness from his touch. You run your hands down on your kimono to smooth it over before sitting down, plopping the present on your thighs. Fingers quickly working on undoing the knot of the furoshiki. It reveals a beautifully carved box. The scent of fresh lacquer tells you that it was newly made. The wood makes a soft scratching sound as you slide the cover off and your breath hitch.
It's a kanzashi.
The silver twirling in a beautiful pattern that frames the large jadeite on the tip and the body has beautiful whorls and patterns running down.
You run your fingertips on the metalwork before beaming at Naoya who has a smirk playing on his lips.
"I had a feeling you might like it."
"I do! Thank you, Naoya-sama." With gentle fingers, you got it out of the box to look at it closely. As you turn it between your fingers, you miscalculate its weight and it falls from your hand and came sliding down to your kimono to land softly on the ground.
"Don't lose it now, wife. I didn’t even get to see you wear it yet." Naoya laughs as he stops you from bending down and reaches for it himself. You felt your cheeks heating up as your fingers brush. You stare at Naoya shyly, loving the softness that he's showing you.
Naoya places his hands on your elbow and guides you to turn your back on him. You feel his rough fingertips brushing on your nape, the sensation making you erupt into giggles. His fingers lingered longer than they should and you know he is doing it intentionally. You place your hand on his thigh in a playful attempt to push him back. Naoya places a kiss on your neck then gathers your hair into a neat bun and uses the kanzashi to keep it in place.
You could only wish that it was your lips that he was kissing.
Eager to hear his response, you scooch back and turn to let him look at you.
Naoya scratched his chin and nods. "Looks decent."
For a moment, you think that it doesn't suit you but his coy tone made you glare at him with feign annoyance which he replies by cocking an eyebrow, making him look painfully handsome.
His gaze cut to a butterfly that hovers above you. The Hanamura clan has the inherited curse technique of flora manipulation, but it always fails to manifest on women. You are no exemption, but you are still gifted with decent cursed energy, making the flora and fauna to flourish in your touch. But what truly makes the women of the house of Hanamura sought after, is your never-failing competence to birth children with abundant cursed energy. It is one of the reasons behind your marriage. With his technique and your rich cursed energy, you shall have an heir worthy of leading this great estate and region of Ajisai. Such child will have a seat at the table of the empire. He looks at your eyes again, wondering if a mellow creature such as yourself can birth a Zenin.
Naoya breaks your eye contact to look behind you and you hear the soft clinking of porcelain and soon enough, a servant appears in front of you to bow in respect and leaves as soon as she places the tea and wagashi between you.
"Told the Fujita house to send in their best glutinous rice." Naoya states as he watches you pick up a sakura mochi.
You hum in delight at the flavor and chewiness, complimented by sweet red bean paste.
"I recall having their rice for the first time, I believed it was glowing and one would think I was starved with how I helped myself to it." You giggle.
Naoya eyes the half-eaten wagashi in your hand. "The lord of house Fujita is from the neighboring empire in the west. He got his knowledge of growing crops in there. The empire benefits from it but Lord Fujita still practice most of their culture. Way too much than he should."
You pause mid-chew, thinking how to respond to his comment.
"He swore loyalty to our family and fought side by side with my father in the Battle of the Crimson Sea." He continues.
The Battle of the Crimson Sea, the clash that brought the entire empire together, as your father told you.
You swallow to buy yourself time. "It was really generous of him to share his culture then."
"They have been training their men and refused to join the last regional council meeting. Their attitude is becoming that of traitors." Naoya's lip curl up in distaste. "I'm considering of having them slaughtered.” Naoya meets your eyes, and you try not to break under his gaze. "What do you think, wife?"
You're not a fool, very much aware that he's testing you. You try to calm yourself, knowing that your response will decide whether you will earn your husband's respect or not. Whether he will deem you worthy of being a Zenin.
You glance at his hand that rests on his thigh and reach for it.
"A wise leader never seeks out war." Your eyes flit back to his as your thumb brushes the rough callous on the palm of his hand. "But he must always be ready for it."
A sly smile creeps on your husband's lips, pride and amusement overflowing from him. He brushes his lips on your knuckles and rises to his feet.
"I shall try not to accidentally kill you when you bring me my tea tomorrow morning." Naoya's tone plays around teasing and danger.
It was then you remember who exactly it was that you married.
Chapter Synopsis: You arrive in the Zenin Estate to be married to the heir of the Zenin clan.
Warning: mentions of death and violence, arranged marriage, nsfw, loss of virginity, mentions of body shaming, misogyny, desperate crybaby reader
Word Count: 4095
Prologue
Everybody knows that the empire is no longer controlled by the emperor but by the Three Great Sorcerer Clans. Kamo, Gojō, and Zenin. All three have their own history of greatness, power, and honor. As well as brutality.
Stories about their bloody battles cross oceans and reach the farthest of fiefs and continents. Their victories celebrated, their sacrifices honored, and their violence feared.
"Don't slouch."
Your back stiffens at your mother's words. The constant rocking of the carriage making it difficult for you to suppress the urge to hurl your breakfast. But a nagging voice in your head doubts that it’s the ride that is causing the queasiness gurgling in your stomach. "What happens…if the lord is unsatisfied of me, mother?"
"Only a foolish man shall be unsatisfied of you." Your mother huffs with her chin tilted upward, her confidence and blunt comments never fail to lift your spirits. You do envy her strength. A lady of the house, in grace and tongue. She gently tugs at your white uchikake to smoothen the lines and show the golden embroidery better. "It is a shame, you cannot marry Toji instead." Your mother clicks her tongue and you raise a hand to your mouth to hide a snicker.
"He is quite…ahead in years for our daughter." Your father chimes in, his sharp eyes surveying the land outside the carriage window.
"And he is married. I only see him as a big brother," you reminded them, "or some sort of a weird drunk cousin."
"Was married. I used to believe he took a liking on you. He never fails to give you flowers when he pays us a visit."
You hum in agreement, "He did, didn't he? Always gives me gladiolus, even though I always ask him to bring me one of those bright yellow roses that I saw from the market once."
"I never did like them, those roses. They are too..." your mother pause to scrunch her nose, "yellow."
"I believe Toji-san just snapped the first gladiolus he saw from our garden, just so he can give something to me," you laugh, "and then it became our thing."
Feeling a soft breeze from the carriage window, your eyes leave the disgruntled face of your mother to gaze at the comforts of nature. Your heart aching at the thought of leaving your garden back at your home after dedicating your time to it, but your father told you that the Zenins promised you a fresh lawn that could fit ten of your gardens in it. Perhaps it's a compensation for the duty that they placed on your shoulders.
“If not Toji, then what about young Satoru?” Your mother turns to your father. You scrunch your face, trying to show how much you disliked the suggestion. “Oh, the two of you were inseparable back then.” She coos.
“No, it just seemed that way as he made me chase him around after he stole my dolls. I still cannot comprehend how we are civil with each other today.” You hum in brief amazement. It was very easy for Satoru to rile you, leaving you at each other’s throats every time he visits.
She clasps her hands excitedly. “But you have a bond.”
Oh, Crimson Sea, drown me.
Holding up a palm and straightening your back, you say, “Mother with all due respect, I must disagree, and I simply refuse to marry a man that has the attitude of a ten-year-old boy.”
She laughs gently. Like soft bells that dance with the wind. “But you do not know that. Afterall, it has been quite some time since you last saw each other.”
“We are on our way to the Zenin estate. For a wedding. Frankly, I see no point in arguing about it now.” Your father clears his throat, regaining order in the carriage.
Naoya Zenin, you wonder what kind of person he is. He was the only heir of the Three Great Sorcerer Clans that you have never met before. You met Choso Kamo once, he did not talk much, preferring to remain to the sides to watch over you and his little brothers as you play in the gardens. Satoru was a different case. His father used to take him on his trips around the empire to establish relationships. But the young boy took a liking to the kikufuku mochi that your personal maid used to make for you and since then, his visits became more and more frequent. Too frequent, much to your exasperation.
Your thoughts were interrupted when a butterfly flew inside the window of the carriage. You watch its wings flutter so peacefully before it chooses to perch on your shoulder. Its wings were pristine white, contrasting the lush green of the field outside, but something else draws your attention. There is a trail of crimson stain on the dirt road and the grass, your curious eyes followed it despite knowing otherwise.
A startled screamed tears at your throat when a pair of blank eyes stares back at you. You cover your mouth as your bile threatens to rise on your throat once more, cursing yourself for not screwing your eyes shut quick enough.
You will yourself to stop thinking about the dark rotting skin of his head, the flies buzzing about and the maggots crawling out of the rotten wound of his neck. He was bathed in his own blood that crusted and curdled as he was crucified upside down. His clothes are in tatters, leaving his corpse to be humiliated.
Your father who is sitting right in front of you was quick to draw the curtain to shield you from the vile sight.
"Oh, how cruel. They could have at least cleaned that up!" Your mother gasps as she tried to soothe you by rubbing your back.
"It is a warning to those who dare to defy the Zenin clan." Your father murmurs as he eyes your petrified form. He is contemplating if he made the right decision of accepting the proposal of the Zenins for your hand. You are his precious daughter, one that he swore to protect since the first time he held you in his arms and he will start a war with the Zenins if they so much as harm a single hair on your head. However, Naobito, the head of the Zenin clan, did promise that you will be happy and protected in their estate, and your father knew that the abundance and comforts that the noble men from your fief offered could not compare to the lavishness that the Zenins possessed. No marriage could be more advantageous than one that is with Naoya Zenin.
The carriage comes to a halt and you meet your father's worried gaze as the carriage door opened. When he saw your eyes shining with unshed tears, he almost instructs the coachman to turn the carriage around and head back to your fief. There you would be home. There you would be safe. Your innocence and laughter protected inside the floral walls of your home. Your family’s adviser saw through what your father is feeling as he too felt the same way, but he interrupts before any rash decisions can be made.
"Lord Hanamura, we have arrived."
Your mother reaches for your hand. "Let us not keep them waiting." You know that she is trying to be brave for you but the tremor in her voice tells you otherwise. Your legs feel heavy, throat closing up as your palms grow cold and clammy.
"Of course." Your father nods grimly before stepping out of the carriage and was quick to assist your mother and you as they help to make sure the seams of the blinding white of your clothing never touches the ground.
The sun blinds you for a moment, and as tempted as you were to look around the Zenin estate, you set your eyes downcast when you hear footsteps coming your way.
"Hanamura, my old friend." An almost carefree voice speaks before a strong stench of sake nips your nose. It's the head of the estate, Naobito Zenin. You saw in your peripheral how he greets your father with such familiarity before standing in front of you.
You were quick to put on a gentle smile as you bow before him. "My Liege." You greet him with the softest voice, just like how your mother taught you.
"Ah the muse of the nine Lords, Hanamura Y/N. Truly an epitome of grace." It has been a while since you heard someone call you that.
You thank him for his kind compliment. As you straighten your back once more, you were able to breathe a little easier.
Naobito asked you to follow him to the shrine where your promised is waiting. You were looking forward to seeing him, and you admit that there was disappointment creeping inside you when he failed to accompany his father in welcoming you to the estate.
Naoya Zenin is a famed warrior, his name known all throughout the empire. He is known as one of the fastest sorcerers of his age, his speed, agility, and wit are his key to victory. News of him, along with Gojō Satoru, exorcising curses and fighting against invaders were celebrated. You were astonished when you found out that he was only seven years older than you, his accomplishments rivals those of who are twice his age.
It is an honor to be wedded to Naoya Zenin.
And you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with him.
But perhaps it was foolish and naïve to hold on to such hopes.
Not once did Naoya Zenin look at you at your wedding.
The feast that took place was a grand celebration. Gilded. With flowers covering the place, wine and food spread along the long tables. But not an ounce of happiness can be seen in his face.
He acknowledged your father, but never did he try to talk to you. Even while saying his vows, he looked as if he was rolling his eyes and glared at your forehead the entire time.
After the celebration died down, you say your farewell to your parents as you follow Naoya to his chambers, which will also be yours from now on. He still refuses to talk to you. Your gaze is on your feet, as you walk, almost bumping into him when he pauses to slide open the shoji. To your surprise, he let you walk in first.
Naoya does not respond to your silent "thank you" and instead just wordlessly closes the shoji behind him.
You stood in front of him, your eyes downcast and your clammy hands poised gracefully in front of you. You tried to appear relaxed but it is difficult as you felt his searing gaze.
"Hanamura Y/N," he murmurs, as if testing how your name would sound coming from his lips. "How old are you again?"
"I turned twenty this year, Naoya-sama."
Naoya eyes your plump hips and thighs in distaste, they’re good for childbearing at least. He is quick to notice that he towers over you, your head scarcely reaching his shoulders.
He clicks his tongue. "You're barely a woman then."
A protest almost broke out of you but you held it back. If you weren't married a couple years from now, you will be called a spinster.
You lower your head even more to give him a nonverbal apology. You are aware of the usual preferences of men. They want a woman who is untouched, but a vixen in the sheets.
"They made me marry a fucking child." You hear him groan, "Do you at least know your duties as my wife?" He spits as he stands in front of you.
You nod almost desperately. "Certainly, Naoya-sama. I am to carry your children and serve you in every way that you see fit."
"Good."
You let out a breath of relief.
"Strip."
With your gaze leaving the tatami mat, you meet Naoya's bored stare, yet the intensity of it forces you to lower your eyes to his chest. With trembling hands, you reached for your uchikake.
Your wedding night should be a dream come true, but it was far from a dream when Naoya slapped your hand away to peel the layers of your clothing himself, annoyance and impatience etched on his movements.
Your husband should be gentle on your first night together, but he was far from being gentle when he made you lie on your stomach on the raised futon bed as he mounted you.
Your first time should be full of bliss, but it was far from blissful when Naoya started a pace that had you crying in pain.
Naoya's grunts were drowned by your cries and the obscene wet melody of your union. You're sweaty and the liquid dripping on your thighs was sticky, adding to your discomfort. You were hurting from being stretched full as he pulled your backside flush against his pelvis, but he never seemed to care. You felt your hips starting to bruise under his tight grip, no doubt the shape of his fingers shall be seen come next morning. Your knees and elbows burn from rubbing on the sheets. A particularly hard thrust had you wailing.
"Na...Naoya-sama! You're hurting me." You whimper as you grip the tear-soaked pillow while turning your head to give him a pleading look in an attempt to have him go easy on you. Never had you know such pain can be inflicted by husbands to their wives.
A hiccup escaped your swollen lips when Naoya reached out to pat your cheek.
"This is why I didn't want you. You can't even take a man." Naoya grumbled but instead of taking offence, you were just glad when he slowed down his pace. "Better?"
You ignored his mocking tone and nodded your head, "Tha...thank you, Naoya-sama."
Naoya stares at you. You're plump but that is to be expected from a spoiled lady like you. Your cheek slump on the pillow, your eyelashes clumping from dried tears and your brows were furrowed, your body all spent.
Perhaps he should be kinder to you. You're his wife after all.
You opened your eyes, worried when you heard your husband sigh, but they closed shut as soon as his fingers started rubbing between your thighs. You let out a high-pitched moan, calling his name.
"So easy to please." Your husband chuckles before smacking your bum to watch the fat ripple.
Naoya closes his eyes as he listened to your moans. It wasn't so bad deflowering a virgin. You're not experienced as the women that he had before you, but the idea of fucking an untainted cunt made his chest swell with pride.
His. No one else’s.
He watched you hug the pillow to your chest as you burrow your head in it, your breath coming in short pants as mewls clawed out of your throat just as he felt your insides twitch before you wailed out his name, crying for him. The hand between your thighs moved to push down between your shoulders to raise your hips just enough to have him pound on your cunt.
Naoya shoved you on the bed, grunting as he picked up his pace, enjoying the feel of your velvet walls pulsing around him. His pierced ears ringing with every squelch of your mound as you writhe beneath him, letting out mewls that you never once imagine you could make.
A guttural groan rumbles from Naoya's chest, breath hitching before he slams his hips on you, sinking balls deep into your warmth until his aching drooling tip kisses your bruised and puckered cervix before spilling out his hot ropy seed so deep in your cunt that you feel your stomach twitching.
He watches how his cum escapes your swollen lips as you continue to squeeze around him, his foxlike eyes following the slope of your back to your face, and laughs when he sees you dazed and just about ready to pass out.
Naoya was not the kindest man but he is still your husband, and you were taught to always honor your vows.
For that reason, you sat in a stuffy room front of Ogi Zenin's wife one morning. She had been educating you of what is expected from a Zenin lady. It hasn't even been two days since you arrived in the Zenin estate, yet so much has already happened. You witness so much deviance from what you grew up to know, it made you wonder if you have been truly living in the same empire as the Zenins because of your cultural differences.
The women in the Zenin estate must never meet eyes with men. To never speak unless spoken to. You understand that. But for women to walk three steps back, the husbands having concubines, for women to eat in separate dining rooms from the men. Now, that is simply absurd.
Lady Zenin was quick to scold you when you asked her how you were supposed to hold your husband's hand as you walk, making you ask for forgiveness when she started turning red in shock and anger. It sometimes makes you wonder what exactly happened to her that warranted that level of rage.
Ease settled between you two when she complimented your fine skills in preparing and pouring tea.
She told you that it is your duty to wake up earlier than your husband to prepare a morning tea for him. You are also responsible in helping him get dressed, to satisfy his needs, and lastly, you are to give him an heir. Heirs.
A small smile spread on your lips at the thought of having babes that looks exactly like your husband. He was unkind to you, but he did ease up and allow you to feel such mind numbing pleasure.
And you also find him very handsome.
You were unaware of the pitying look that was given to you.
After the entire day of memorizing the history and traditions of the Zenin clan, you are finally permitted to join your husband in your shared quarters.
Careful to not make a sound since the Zenins preferred silence, you watched your every step but as soon as you saw light coming from your room, you hastily slipped out of your geta before picking them up, your sock-clad feet swiftly padded against the wooden floor, stopping just outside the shoji to wear your geta once more. You draw a deep breath and you put on a wide smile.
Gently sliding the shoji to the side, you peer at the room and you see your husband lounging on a chair near a window, holding a piece of parchment. You make your way inside to greet him before you bowed.
"Wife."
You took that as a sign of acknowledgement and you straighten your back. Naoya didn't even turn to look at you, his eyes focused on the letter in his hand. You see that he's already in his evening clothes.
"Is it alright if I freshen up, Naoya-sama? Or is there anything-"
"Go."
You purse your lips at his dismissal, but both the opened and unopened letters on his desk told you that he must have had a long day too.
You disappear in your closet and Naoya's gaze flit to your direction when you come out of the closet in your juban kimono.
His nose crinkling at the sight of your body, there were barely any curves. He did not understand how men desired plump women like you, it looked like all you ever did was lounge and eat, it made him shake his head.
"Spoiled." He mutters.
Naoya brings his attention back to the letter that he held. It was from the Gojō estate, congratulating him of his marriage. Naoya read the lighthearted and terrible message of Gojō Satoru. Instead of a normal congratulatory message and wishing the both of you a happy marriage, Satoru instead told him that he looks forward to see Naoya finally be tied with a leash. And the terribly drawn doodles of stars and a poor attempt of a dog and finally of Satoru holding two fingers up to form a V with his tongue sticking out. What a child.
You? Tying a leash around him?
"Is everything alright, Naoya-sama?"
A curious look passes your eyes as you saw your husband tearing up a piece of paper before crumpling it tight enough for his hand tendons to pop out then tosses it to the trash.
You only received a hum before he dismissed you.
Instead of bothering him further, you opted to lounge in your shared bed and crack a book that you snatched from your library back at home. You can see your mother frowning at the idea of you taking a book from her collection without asking.
You got lost in the story, daydreaming and wondering if your husband would be as sweet as the samurai that risked his life to save a princess, would he battle curses for you too?
"It's not right for a woman to read."
You bite your lip as you slowly set the book down to look at your husband. He was already staring at you, taunting you with that sly look on his eyes, as if daring you to say anything against him.
You we're afraid this would happen.
"Literacy is of the essence in this society, Naoya-sama."
He clicks his tongue, "What good would that do you, when all you have to do is to mother my children?"
You glance down on the sheets to gather yourself then back to your husband. "But I quite enjoy reading."
"Weren't you taught to keep your mouth shut and never talk back to your husband?" Naoya leaves his seat, his sharp glare piercing you.
You duck your head and held your hand together, "I was. Forgive me, Naoya-sama."
"Forgiveness.” He spits. “You cannot even satisfy me in bed, and now you’re giving me this brazen insolence. If your family does not forbid me from having concubines, I would have been deep inside another woman right now."
Tears start to form on your eyes. Never in your life had you been spoken to in such manner. Such unnecessary effort to hurt a person with words, all for the satisfaction of inflicting a wound. Why must people be so hateful. You know that it will not be the same in the Zenin estate, but no matter how much mental preparation you do, finally hearing it now still affects you more than you would like to admit.
"Dry those tears now.” Naoya sneers as he watches you wipe your face and letting out a few sniffles as your chest heaved. “How unsightly.”
"Forgive me Nao...Naoya-sama." You hiccupped.
What a milksop.
To your surprise, you felt your husband smoothing out your hair as he joined you in bed. "Just learn your place. I do not wish to fight."
You were quick to nod.
"There, there." His tone was laced with condescension but you crave any comfort that he gave you. You look up at him before slumping on his chest. Naoya may be a terrible person but he is also the only one who can provide you with solace, as strange as it may seem.
"I’ll do better, I’ll be a good wife to you, Naoya-sama."
You soak up his warmth as he continues to pat your head, a dirty grin playing on his lips.
"Yeah? You'll be a good wife?"
"Yes, Naoya-sama." You answer without missing a beat, still eager to gain his favor.
Naoya brushes your hair from your face and slides his hand down to let it rest on your nape, slowly leaning towards you, as if to tell you a secret.
"Then why are you not bent on all fours?"
His hushed tone made your hair stand on end, for anticipation or fear, you don't know.
You glance at his mocking gaze before peeling yourself from him and easily slip out of your clothes.
Naoya watches as you crawl towards the center of the bed to offer your bare cunt to him.
He eyes your swollen lips before spreading it with the pads of his thumb, making you whimper. "Just as I thought. You're still sore, aren't you?"
You glance back at him, modesty painted on your face before replacing it with a smile. "Don't worry Naoya-sama, you can make love to me." You said it so sweetly that it made him grin.
