groovyfoxnacho

will try to post stuff. cannot promise quantity or quality.

[despazito]

Bannasch et al. 2021 genetic heterozygosity findings by breed:

A large dataset (227 breeds; dataset 1) of median heterozygosity values (H) was obtained through commercial DNA testing of 49,378 dogs. The mean number of individuals per breed was 217.5 (95% Confidence Interval 162–273.1) and the range of individual dogs/breed was 30–4728. Since the H values do not provide a simple relationship to pedigree, we wanted to determine what their equivalency was to the coefficient of inbreeding (F). The genotype-based coefficient of inbreeding was determined in 19 breeds with 8–20 individuals in each breed (dataset 2) for comparison to dataset 1. Dreger at al [8] used 10 individuals per breed and calculated F based on genotypes and the correlation with dataset 2 was 0.85 (12 breeds in common). Yordy et al. [9] used 6–724 individuals per breed and the correlation with dataset 2 was 0.75 (15 breeds in common). F from dataset 2 was highly correlated with H from dataset 1 (Pearson correlation coefficient of − 0.8899 (P < 0.0001) for the same 19 breeds. Linear regression (r2 = 0.79) was performed to obtain adjusted F values (Fadj) for the dataset 1 breeds. Based upon linear regression, an H value of 33.1% was equivalent to F of 0.25. The H values were adjusted based on the regression to provide breed estimates of inbreeding for the 227 breeds in dataset 1 (Fadj). These adjusted values from dataset 1 were compared to adjusted values from [9] which included 97 breeds in common and the Pearson correlation was 0.883 and [8] which included 75 breeds in common and was 0.89. The mean of the Fadj values for 227 breeds was 0.249 (95% CI 0.235–0.263) (Fig. 1). Strikingly few breeds (N = 12) had low inbreeding values (< 0.10). The breeds with the lowest levels of inbreeding were mostly landrace breeds or breeds with recent cross breeding. To put the inbreeding values in context, the breeding of two first cousins produces F = 0.0625, two half siblings F = 0.125 and two full siblings or parent-offspring F = 0.25.

please read the full paper it's very interesting!

[despazito]

Generally there was a correlation between higher inbreeding and higher morbidity but there were a few outlier breeds. Border terrier, Basenji, Collie, and English setter scored high on inbreeding but below average morbidity, on the flip side Malinois, Pomeranian, and Russian Tsvetnaya Bolonka were low inbreeding but relatively higher morbidity.

There was also a correlation found between brachycephalylic dogs and more veterinary care. sorted by FCI groups, Group 2 (molossoid, pinschers, mountain dogs) scored the highest for amount of visits to the vet while Group 5 (spitz and primitive) scored the lowest.

Overall the highest rates of morbidity tended to be dogs with high rates of inbreeding and a large body size, lower morbidity was associated with less inbred smaller dogs.

[thejawsdevour]

Franco Moiso (Costa Rican) - Barcelona (acrylic on canvas, 2022)

[luntfontanne]

happy pride

[nubreaks-deactivated20211121]

[bimmyjimmy]

do u have a moment

[bimmyjimmy]

big fan of the way he sits

[cloudabserk]

before i watched project hail mary i knew exactly 2 things about ryan gosling:

[museiums]

artist: haley tippmann

[bsaka7]

excerpts from erin in the morning's article on the ioc's ban on transgender women and sex testing policy

[headspace-hotel]

The fact that they're not testing men says it all.

Wikipedia articles for the two athletes mentioned who committed and attempted suicide. Horrible.

[sourcreammachine]

i am to become the Goddess of Standardisation. for my first trick i’ll obliterate all knowledge of imperial measures from the minds of mortals and replace it with perfect fluency in metric

[sourcreammachine]

other standardisations:

righthand drive everywhere. as a courtesy i’ll flip all lefthand vehicles on the z axis

standard plug socket everywhere. i don’t think there’s a single best plug (sorry tom scott) but it will be earthed, fused and switched, and 50hz

the family of ideologies referred to as ‘socialism’ becomes the standard ideology

[sourcreammachine]

[sourcreammachine]

controversially for a ‘standardisation goddess’ i’m actually not installing usbc everywhere. instead we’re doing it on a case-by-case basis. simply bring ur wire to my shrine or enchant ur device with my rune and i will replace it with a terabit 250W usbc (with displayport functionality)

[sourcreammachine]

despite being a minor language nerd i’m actually not gonna make that many changes inside languages themselves, except for two things: spanish has invented the letter Ñ so now it’s gonna be in every latin alphabet rather than nh, gn, ń etc, and slovak has invented the letter Ľ but unfortunately it’s ugly so i’ll be using the letter Ł rather than ll, lj etc. tortiła lasañe in Łubłana with champañe. also replace the russian ‘letter’ ы with ı because what the fuck is that

attack and destroy the False Standardisation that is the global usage of english

[sourcreammachine]

aggressive colonisation by the united states of the six original six gtlds (.com, .net, .org, with .gov, .mil & .edu being literally controlled by the us) must be controlled. all six will be forced to have .us appended to them (.com.us, .gov.us etc)

in fact… the explosion in the number of gtlds lacks any sort of coherency. icann icannot handle this responsibility, so begin retiring most of them. regional registrars are far better prepared for this job to control subdomains under their cctld

and some changes to the (latin) cctlds themselves: 🇺🇦.ua->.uk, 🇬🇧.uk->.en, .al, .cy, 🇦🇱.al->.sh, 🇨🇾.cy->.ky, 🇮🇪.ie->.ei . i could go on but i’ll spare you

[sourcreammachine]

pope gregory successfully reduced the length of a year from 365.25 days to 365.24, however he failed to undo the damage that this mistake had already caused. i will, by jumping the calendar forward 11 days, ending 2026 on 20 december and placing new year’s day on the northern winter solstice (southern on 1 july, equinoxes on 1 april🐟 and 1 october)

even tho irl the anglosphere needs to adopt dd/mm/yyyy as the agreed date format, with the divine ability i can make yyyy/mm/dd the global format. what’s important is that it’s in a correct order. mm/dd/yyyy is insane

break christian hegemony over what year it is. we need a longer epoch in order to tell better civilisational histories, either around ~5500 years (the advent of writing) or ~7000 years (the advent of the cultures that produced writing). the longest non-religious calendar in use in the world is the chinese, where the new lunar year will be 4724. we could if we wanted use a 1 january solstice reckoning worldwide. would i be allowed to slip a sneaky 1000 years at the start of that to make it 5724 or

[sourcreammachine]

the island of “britain” will be standardised into a peninsula

congratulations to france on ur new hat

[sourcreammachine]

in the modern age the notion of email seems a little… unhygienic. ur saying anyone, any company can just send you shit just by knowing your address? ewww. the entire system needs to be rebuilt from the ground up where a) each interaction is based on a session that can be revoked at any time by the recipient, and 2) controlled, somehow, by the user themselves rather than their favourite giant corporation. idk how tho u figure it out

[sourcreammachine]

we’re moving to a 30-31-30 31-30-31 30-31-30 31-30-30/31 month structure. odd months have 30 even months have 31. leap day is 31 december

1 january is always a monday, and 30 december is always a monday (31 is tuesday), and then it goes back to monday. every date is the same day of the week every year

and everyone has to use 24-hour time. cope

[sourcreammachine]

i may be unable to move earth’s orbit. but it’ll take far less Newtons to speed up mars’ rotation from 24h40m, to just 24 hours. year goes from 668.6 sols to 686.98 days. fuck you

in fact let’s speed up venus to -24 evil hours. year being -224.7 evil days. making venus spin may reduce the effects of solar radiation in the daytime. but the coriolis effect? on venus? oh baby. oh baby

and let’s switch both of them On. magnetic fields yaaay

[sourcreammachine]

hey! turns out 224 is 28 times 8! so here’s eight evil venusian months

really tempted now to make earth 28x12=336 and mars 28x24=672…

[sourcreammachine]

the regions of france have been Standardised to have normal ass names rather than the absolute catastrophe they are now

[sourcreammachine]

addendum to the montevideo convention standardising what it means to be a legitimate sovereignty: you can’t be a shitty little fucking ducal fiefdom somewhere, u need to actually have a popular base: lichtenstein is absorbed by switzerland, andorra is absorbed by catalonia, monaco is absorbed by provence, and sm & vc are absorbed by italy. and the “sovereign [sic] order of malta” is stamped the fuck out as not fucking sovereign at all what the fuck

also, standardise europe as being inside europe. no guyana. no caribbean. no africa. no pacific. no nothing

i’m going to mostly let off subnational entities from aggressive standardisation. it’s ok. apart from Puducherry which is just fucking unbelievable how the hell has that been allowed to happen for so long what the fuck

[sourcreammachine]

get all of the eu+ on Central European Time (utc+1). france and spain and benelux are already on utc+1 despite their solar time being closer to ±0, so portugal and ireland and doggerland and the uk can fuckin easily join

similarly, greece, bulgaria, romania, moldova, ukraine, the baltics & finland should join +1 from +2. if spain can, they can

and NO SUMMER TIME

[sourcreammachine]

it’s metric world. we’re adults

we don’t need “marathons”. 42 kilometres? why. useless. up it to 50k. The London 50k. The Berlin 50k. The Boston 50k. The Tokyo 50k. like

[sourcreammachine]

[sourcreammachine]

0° longitude being at london was always politically arbitrary. there was a battle between the english/british and french empires as to whether london or paris was the centre of the world and london won

it had to be arbitrary – it’s not like there’s a clear midpoint of earth’s geography, right?

BUT THERE IS: Iŋaluk - the “Diomede Islands”. at pretty much exactly 169°W (11° east of the current meridian), there’s a gap between earth’s eastern and western continents, with two symbolic islands standing either side. the current meridian is well into siberia, cutting off the entire chukotka peninsula. it’s the politically-determined dateline that currently separates the islands. this gap should serve as earth’s prime meridian. the new 180° proceeds south, separating aleutia’s Umnak and Chuginadak islands, crossing the Hawai’ian ridge, going just east of johnston atoll, passing tokelau, then going justtt east of occupied east samoa and niue

on the other side, 11° east passes approximately here:

justtt shaving about 4km off the end of spitsbergen, the line passes east of trondheim and oslo, down the gap between fyn and sjælland, halfway between lübeck and schwerin, past the lidl on eislebenerstraße in erfurt, through the pizza hut on fronmüllerstraße in fürth/nuremburg, through verona, just east of modena and just west of florence, cutting off a little bit of tunisia’s cape bon, and passing off the coast of sfax to make landfall on djerba island. through the sahara, then just west of gombe in nigeria, about halfway between douala and yaounde, through eastern equatorial guinea and reaching the new 0,0 point at gabon’s RN2 road. then south to the ocean

so, unified european time becomes the new utc±0 rather than +1. west iberia and most of ireland goes under 90 minutes discrepancy, kharkyvshchina and zaporyzhzhiashchina go over 90 minutes

so in attempting to reduce eurocentrism, i accidentally put europe even more in the centre. oopsy poopsy

[sourcreammachine]

english transliteration of cyrillic is fucked up. so new standardisation, based mostly offa czech & gaj-yugoslav:

🇷🇺🇺🇦🇧🇬и, 🇧🇾i -> 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿i

🇷🇺🇧🇾ы, 🇺🇦i, 🇧🇬ъ -> 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿y

🇺🇦г -> 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿g, even if it’s pronounced different in ukraine

й -> j

x -> h

ч -> č

ш -> š, or ś from russian only

щ -> šč, or š from russian only

ж -> ž

ь -> ’

я, е/є, ï, ë & ю will become either ja, je, ji, jo & ju or á, é, í, ó & ú, according to preference (official & proper transliterations should be in the latter)

“Krushchev went from Kherson to Kyiv” -> Hrušóv went from Herson to Kijiv

also polish, i love you, but u gotta use č, š & ž instead of ć, ś & ź. in addition to using ñ instead of ń. oh and use ã & õ instead of ą & ę. but aside from the basic appearance of the letters, change literally nothing else. keep on doing u, polish

[sourcreammachine]

cricket is standardised into baseball, now the world’s 2nd biggest sport

netball is standardised into basketball

rugby (northern, southern, american, canadian, australian) is standardised into non-existence. fuck you

[sourcreammachine]

people r into the idea of abolishing the 1¢ and 2¢ at the current value of eur, usd, gbp, cad, aud, and others at this similar price point. but i’ll go one further and say 5¢ should be abolished too, and that all these currencies’ smallest coin should be the 10¢

…one little thing tho. whenever a cent or two-cent is withdrawn from circulation, legislation is never passed to abolish the 1¢ & 2¢ interval, meaning prices remain listed in units that don’t exist (like 99¢), and u have to round up your change at the till. that’s about as insane as a price being listed as 1.5¢ right now. it doesn’t exist yet still legally exists

so pass the legislation officially dividing these currencies into ten (and only ten) subunits. a euro isn’t divided into a hundred cents, it’s divided into ten ten-cents. it’ll still be correct notation to list prices as 10¢, 20¢ etc, but that’s just notation. units below 10 don’t exist. and prices will not be listed below 10. the closest u can get to 99¢ is 90¢

other currencies can do similar things. the japanese yen can go to ¥10 as the minimum. the brazilian real can go to 50¢, or ‘half a real’ i guess. o and u no wat abolish the gbp and chf and nok and sek and dek and czk. suck an €gg

[sourcreammachine]

brics wants an international trade currency? i’ll do you one better. not just brics, everybody

nationalise (for lack of a better term) the wbg, imf and wto into the un, under a permanent economic council (i guess the closest thing we’ll have to a standing world congress). then mandate all wto trade to happen through the wto ¤Unit (brics named it the Unit, not me). ¤Units minted by the world bank and exchanged for forex, forex deposited in the world bank. ¤Unit backed by the forex – most of which would be from larger economies to begin with, of course. rich countries ‘taxed’ with worse exchange rates to fund better exchange rates for poor countries

and yeah. abolish the un security council as it currently exists. but before that can happen, abolish the uk’s permanent status and replace it with india, and abolish france’s and replace it with europe. only after we’ve added insult to injury can we abolish it

[sourcreammachine]

made these forever ago for a similar concept (i’d never put esperanto on it these days lol)

universal obverse sides, and various reverse sides for different currency areas

one ¤Unit split into 1000₥, or 1,000,000μ. one microunit is about the value of the world’s least valuable currencies. there are notes for one unit, a semiunit, and a quarter-unit, that people irl might encounter from time to time. but mainly for use in international circles, there are coins for 100₥ (C, ‘century’), 50₥ (L, ‘half-century’), 10₥ (D, ‘dime’), 5₥ (V, ‘victor’), and 1₥ (I, ‘iota’). again, i made this years ago. it actually want it to be way less eurocentric

one unit would be around 🇪🇺€43, 🇺🇸$51, 🇨🇳¥350, 🇮🇳₹4666, 🇯🇵¥8000

[sourcreammachine]

let’s head down Local for a coupla pints -> let’s head down Local for a coupla 500mls

[sourcreammachine]

for the typical four day week, workers can choose to have either a floating day off in the week (like wednesday or something), or friday, as we’re inaugurating friday as the official third day of the weekend

and the six-hour day is most typically 10 to 16

[sourcreammachine]

fuck it…. i can’t hold it in anymore !!!!

earth’s 336 day year of twelve 28-day months!

with constellation-based month names so that the months with numbered names (september, october etc) aren’t misaligned any more

every month begins on a new moon. the full moon is on the ides. the first of capricorn (1/1) is now both solar and lunar new year, the solstice and the new moon. the other solstice is the first of cancer (1/7) and the equinoxes are the first of aries (1/4) and the first of libra (1/10)

the islamic calendar’s months end on the ‘new moons’, beginning with the new crescent on the second or third. ramadan will no longer drift according to the solar calendar and will always be from 2 pisces (or 3) to eid’s date on 2 aries (or 3), the day after the equinox (or day after that)

the christian calendar does a lot of stuff according to full moons, which is stupid as fuck. what are you, werewolves? easter is not ‘the first sunday after the full moon after the equinox’, it’s the equinox, eid eve. fat monday is the ides of aquarius. lent and ramadan align

with venus being 8 months of 28 and mars being 24 months of 28, the three planets (and earth’s Luna (that’s its proper-noun name now (cope))) will align at the start of every mars year, on 1/1 every even-numbered earth year, every three venus years

and monday (moon-day, the day moon stuff occurs) is the first day of the week

[sourcreammachine]

ONE rail gauge for all heavy rail on earth. i’m not train nerd enough so i can’t say what. but it’ll have to be on the larger side, of course – and all trains are divinely upgraded to the new gauge

universal third-rail electrification of all rail (even if it’s not plugged in everywhere just yet). upgrades to HST standards everywhere that’s possible (of course, that ain’t everywhere)

now – a single gauge, more accurately an interoperability principle, for a number of light-rail modes, including light rail, metro, and modern heavy trams. ‘trams’ should be the same size as metro ‘trains’ – in many places they could be the same vehicle, and the networks be fully integrated

we can build light rail tracks within heavy rail tracks so light rail can piggyback the heavy rail system, if need be

public transit hierarchy (not a specific one, just the idea in general as it applies differently to different areas) becomes accepted as a fact of reality

[sourcreammachine]

revoke english as one of the three working languages of the european government. the two languages become french and german… which is appropriate as we’re installing Strasbourg (& Kehl) as the capital of europe, moving all institutions there from brussels & luxembourg

despite europe needing a new treaty, that’s not my responsibility. but i will rename the european commission to ‘european government’, the president of the commission to ‘prime minister of europe’, the council of the eu to the ‘senate’, the european council to the ‘presidium’, the president of the council to the ‘president of europe’, and the european union to ‘europe’

and the alliance of european liberals & democrats becomes the ‘european liberal party’, and the party of european socialists [sic] becomes the ‘european social democratic party’ – even though both are doomed due to the standardisation of actual socialism lol

[sourcreammachine]

mercury joins the party with its year being reduced from 88 days to 84 days, three months of 28

that is, of course, 84 venus/earth/mars days. it’ll keep its fantastic 3:2 orbital resonance, with a year lasting 1.5 mercury days

[sourcreammachine]

i know i’m supporting a case-by-case USB-C rollout, but sod it. all existing and future USB (A, B, C, mini & micro) is replaced with my new USB-D

the only form difference is that the D is slightly thinner than the C

the reason i’m doing this is to standardise memory cards as using the USB-D slot. SD cards, microSD cards, microSD-express, game cards, it’s all replaced with USB cards. insert a card and it goes flush into the USB slot, click it in slightly and it’ll protrude for easy removal

anyway. the new D slots have high-wattage power capacity, displayport functionality, high quality audio output and ultra-fast data transfer all at once. if your tv gives its USB port enough power, you could power a games console using the one displayport USB. one cable, power and display

also, if you buy a game on a digital storefront, you have the legal right to print it onto a usb card, at home or at a public kiosk for only the cost of the card and the box, maybe €2

but yeah, all existing USB, hdmi and ethernet ports/cables, audio jacks and cables and sd slots and cards get replaced with USB-D. all other ports are on a case-by-case basis

[sourcreammachine]

the addictiveness of all Affective Substances is standardised at 0. cocaine, opiates, alcohol, everything

this does mean that all nicotine use becomes recreational rather than dependent. our social relationship with it would then naturally change - it’d become more acceptable to smoke in some settings (same with cannabis) such as gatherings, but less in others such as walking down the street and in the fucking library

[sourcreammachine]

PRC scientists recently crossed the 1 Megametre threshold for ev batteries. yay! this means we can ban all production of new petrol cars – not that we have the capacity to immediately replace all production with electric; car production needs to come down anyway

speed limits across the globe fixed to 100, 50 and 25: 100 for highways, 50 for urban arterials, and 25 for little capillary streets with children playing. we’re bringing back gears for evs, three of them, limiting the vehicle to 25, 50 or 100. no road-legal private vehicle anywhere on the planet can go faster than 100. charlie oscar papa echo

but with 1000km batteries, that means we can have battery buses everywhere, right? no!!! we need trollies! we need a massive trollification initiative to convert approximately all urban bus routes into trolley lines connected to the power grid via pantograph or (ideally) some sort of smart third rail. we need to do this so the vehicles can get elongated, articulated, like a BRT except integrated into the power system. we could even have a hybrid system where trollies can depart the tramlines from time to time to run on battery as buses. options options

batt-buses should be for exurban and rural routes - if rural light rail isn’t an option

[sourcreammachine]

we cannot have both 250ml and 330ml drink cans. one of them must go, probably 330ml. we only need 250ml and 500ml cans of everything, similar to a half-pint and a pint. mini cans smaller than 250 and mega cans bigger than 500 are a scourge and will be eliminated. also, the ‘centilitre’ is a scourge and will be eliminated

[sourcreammachine]

newton shat the bed. when he said blue he was referring to lighter, cyan-ish colours, when he said indigo he was referring to the colours we call ‘blue’ these days. people overwhelmingly seem to think the seven-colour model contains ‘two purples’

so what newton referred to as blue becomes ‘teal’ (rather than cyan, so it’s teal-pink-yellow-key now), what he referred to as indigo becomes ‘blue’, and violet becomes ‘purple’

‘pink’ (magenta) is the non-spectral eighth colour for advanced colour experts

[sourcreammachine]

imagining a hybrid trolley-battbus using a BRT line on a highway, going 150 mogging the shit out of the cars stuck at 100. cope and seethe

[sourcreammachine]

get rid of those weird fake brand names that supermarkets put on their own-brand products

like i can understand giving products names and packaging that echo existing brands for the sake of customer familiarity, but literally what the fuck is the point of the weird ass fake companies like??

“belmont” “crestwood” your name is aldi!! ALDI!!!

[sourcreammachine]

legalise gambling everywhere. ban commercial gambling everywhere

i’ll accept the existence of some true gambling as harm-reduction measures (if they’re criminalised they will go underground, out of the reach of safety regulation) that must all be registered, regulated not-for-profits, and cannot advertise. this covers charity lotteries, community-owned bingo halls that need money to keep the heating on, and sports betting at the stadium only (or online for registered, cardcarrying fanclub members ONLY) that raises money for the club foundation, for the community

make it the case everywhere that gambling for non-monetary physical and digital rewards is still gambling. shut down fifa, fortnite, genshin and umamusume pretty derby as illegal casinos. drag the ceos of ea, microsoft, tencent and ubisoft before the fucking ICC (or a sort of neo-ICC that actually works lol)

taking a profit from any gambling is considered an extreme unacceptability, like usury. house-ery. the highstreet casino is obliterated. ‘gambling’ resorts like vegas and monaco charge money at the door, charge for drinks, and charge for merch – there is no gambling. it’s all play. you cannot cash out. they’ll print your highscore on a tshirt at the end of the night (you have to buy the shirt, otherwise it counts as a prize and is gambling lol)

chips being score rather than backed by cash will liberate games like poker and blackjack from their monetary aspect, and should in fact increase their respectability, almost as a sporting discipline. cardcounting becomes not only permissible but fucking glorious. magnus carlsen will be spoken in the same breath as victoria coren-mitchell

[sourcreammachine]

does anyone else thing that the gram is a totally different frame of reference than the metre and litre? like, metre and litre is big on a human scale, mm and ml is small on a human scale, and km and kl are giant on a human scale: but its gram that’s small on a human scale, kg that’s big, mg that’s fucking teeny weeny, and Mg (or “tonne”) that’s giant. it’s the wrong frame of reference

it doesn’t have to be this way. a metre is one light-caesium, a firm constant, but a gram is defined as the weight of 1cm³ water at max density – one hundredth of a metre, an deliberate step to turn it into a useful scale rather than the Very Big 1m³, a million times bigger thanks to the square-cube law (which would be equal to one Mg & one kl)

but why not do it the other way round? why not say that a m³ of cold water (a kilolitre) is one kilogram, and one thousandth of that is a milligram. so the kg becomes a g, the same frame of reference as m and l. the g becomes an mg, the mg becomes a μg, and the μg becomes a ng. and the Mg (“tonne”) becomes the new Kg

so like. a human can be 1.5 metres and 75 grams. u buy a 250ml drink with ur 250mg burger. the fiat panda weighs 1kg. same frame of reference

[sourcreammachine]

this’ll only be the case for english, but other languages can do it too if they want

the orders-of-magnitude of numbers, with billion being ‘two’ and trillion being ‘three’ is totally nonsense. they’re 10ˣ going up in three, but a billion is 10³⁽³⁾ and a trillion is 10³⁽⁴⁾. it’s based on multiples after a thousand, but why? should a trillion be written as 10,000³⁽³⁾? nonsense

rather than renaming a million to a ‘billion’ and etc, the six up to quintillion are replaced with the words kilo, meg, gig, tera, peta and exa. a kilo metres is a kilometre. after exa we just say ‘ten to the power’ – but usually still in multiples of three, the new optional notation (dividing the zeroes into groups of three) letting sextillion be 10³⁽⁷⁾, a septillion be 10³⁽⁸⁾ etc

[sourcreammachine]

you literally only need the id#, expiry date and mug on an id. various examples in a standard format:

you get given your number when you’re born, but you have the option to change it to a new one at any point (which numbers became which is like, the closest, most extremely guarded secret). this number is the entirety of your identity as far as the state is concerned – you have absolute sovereignty over any names and marriages and the state and its law are involved in absolutely no way at all

there’s no birthdate on the adult id, just ‘18+’. and to make sure your birthday can’t be inferred, there’s no expiry month, with all ids expiring on Sagittarius 28th of their expiry year, which is randomised between 7 and 13 years after issuing

the thing is absolutely caked in digital poison. try taking a picture of it, and the camera shuts off. the picture specifically is super holographic and only visible from certain angles. it’s super illegal for any online platform to ask for your id, or to scan your face for identification or age estimation

[sourcreammachine]

every washing machine becomes a washer-drier; all washable material becomes compatible with 20°/1’ washes; no more fluid trays, tabs only, all of which are compatible with 20°/1’ washes; all tabs typically contain softener and fragrance; impossible to turn on the machine until the lint trap is cleaned; all clothes become non-iron

oh wait. that last part is already the case

[sourcreammachine]

abolish the loophole that lets cab companies be registered as “private-hire vehicles” and thus be exempt from municipal regulation, letting their be zerohour gigsters. instead all cabbies become actual employees, all cabs are cabs, and all cab companies must plug into a single municipal dispatch API (or single dispatch desk at city hall)

usage of the loophole typically means it becomes illegal to flag down a “private-hire” vehicle without pre-booking – with the loophole gone, all cabs become flaggable. the hitchhiker’s thumb becomes the typical way of doing it

and i’m sorry, but the unfortunate truth is that new york cooked with yellow being the taxi colour – so yellow becomes the standard cab colour pretty much everywhere. i know, england’s geely black cab is iconic and everything, so as a consolation the 吉利伦敦 Geely London (but in yellow) replaces all cabs in england, and gets pushed across europe too

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simplify the tax system. now i know many on the right use that as a euphemism for less tax, but i the fuck do not. i just want it less complicated and more comprehensible for the individual

all territories move to a Pay-As-You-Earn system for all employees. income tax is taken out of your payroll automatically, all money u get is after tax. NO employed person has to ‘do their taxes’. places (like the uk) with multiple separate income taxations (‘national insurance contributions’) simply have them folded together as one rate

mandatory car insurance is done by a public entity to prevent profiteering, and it’s through this single payment that car tax is taken, including odometer tax. i know odo tax is supposed to be the replacement for petrol tax for electric vehicles, but petrol cars should pay both lmao. similarly, municipal home insurance is taken through the property tax payment that outright-homeowners pay, which itself is collected as a single payment with mortgages or rent for everyone else. this single property payment is also where all utility ‘bills’ are payed (power, water, network), if any money is to be charged at all (most places should move to a quota & tariff system)

all list prices include sales tax. places that don’t do that are fucken insane

and abolish illness tax. all dispensations are free. healthcare is free, ALL of healthcare, including optical, aural, dental and mental

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all soda is sugarfree – YES I KNOW there’s nothing really wrong with sugary drinks it’s just i don’t find sugary mouthfeel to be refreshing in any way and i’m the goddess not you. i want my soda to be nice and hydrating, and to pour it in my mouth confidently and without doubt

diabetic people may be mad at me for this, so i’ll compromise by standardising all diabetes as being non-existent. so we’re even

and yes, to stress the fact, under divine law you can eat & drink whatever you want without consequences*. this is already the case, but i think divine codification will help people believe it

*consequences as per your perception of yourself. in fact, whenever your neurological system creates feelings of dysmorphia and -phoria, however mild, your endocrinological system starts emitting the correct hormones to make you feel A Bit More Like You. this includes weight loss, and gain. and internally-generated testosterone & œstrogen is given a power up to do some brand new, way crazier shit. the healthiest thing is for you to be happy. and Big

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all human genitalia is standardised as HR Geiger’s Magnificent Dickpussy

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the 53rd century began on 1 Capricorn 5200. NOT 5201. you who call ‘01 the first year of a century are LIARS and CHEATS and HELL is in store for you

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human piss is always at absolute maximum concentration – urea, and only literal, actual, actual excess water. it should be illegal to be thirsty and need to piss at the same time. u literally already have water u stupid body, ur just going to throw it out for no fucking reason

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every home’s max water pressure is increased to blastforce

every kitchen tap becomes one of those modern electric ones that can do instant boiled water (with a child lock!), and a carbon inserter and suds inserter, both from replaceable tanks under the sink

stop selling plastic litre or two litre bottles of soda. distribute soluble syrup to the masses. don’t eat the syrup tho you’ll shit yourself

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human sleep is standardised at 6 hours. humans that’re awake when they should be per their sleep cycle are standardised as not sleepy. everyone that gets their sleep is standardised as awake and energised and ready to go. can u imagine

yes, the 888 model (8 hours work, 8 hours recreation, 8 hours rest) is fully compatible with 6 hour shifts (one of which is lunch) and 6 hour sleeps. you’ll probably be doing two hours of errands and/or travel, and i want u to be doing 2 hours of awake rest, not recreating, doing literally fuckall

typical wages must rise by at least 50% to account for the drop to a 6hx4d=24h week. that is of course before the class consciousness i’m inducing wins you even more wages, and dividends on top. it’s your labour it’s your fruit it’s your dividend

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chomsky was wrong. i shall make him right

adults gain access to the Language Acquisition Device that children don’t have (chomsky was wrong). proximity and exposure to a linguistic community fills u with an insatiable compulsion to figure out what they’re on about. u don’t really need to think, just immerse yourself and it’ll start happening, quite quickly. this compulsion only begins to subside when people reach their fifth or sixth language. this leads to the development of Codecs that can blast the language into your ears after listening for only a few hundred hours or so

the only language exempt from the proximity-compulsion effect is english. very few people feel the need to learn it. in fact, without continuous usage, you begin to forget it. fast

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the byte is a relic of antiquity. with 255 possible combinations, it contains the lowest possible amount of addressable information, for example one text character. but times have changed. 255 is meaninglessly small. merely 8 bits can no longer be considered any sort of fundamental. the bit is far more atomic

in terms of telephones, 128GB becomes the new 1Tb, 256GB is 2Tb, 512GB is 4Tb, 1TB is 8Tb, etc. so, the 1Tb mark is the high water level of an acceptable size for a video game

now. the coalition of network companies responsible for network standardisations have pencilled in the start of next decade for the launch of 6G. top of their agenda is efficiency, which is awesome because 5G is terrible for this, try download something big and your phone gets hotter than the sun. they also prioritise speed, naturally, and early tests show that 6Gb/s is possible

i want to take the opportunity of the 6G rollout to attempt a great big network standardisation. the trend over each network generation is for smaller and more numerous transmitters, and 6G is to be no exception. i want WiFi, legacy 4G, legacy 5G, and 6G to exist as part of a single canon for lack of a better word, all together as a single Global Area Network. let the infrastructure that feeds the 6G transmitters be the same that feeds the wifi routers, let the chips that connect to the wifi be the same that connects to the (smaller & more numerous) 6G. all wireless receivers should be compatible with everything. your laptop, your iptv, your everything should have a chip that can get a couple megs at least out of thin air, for free as a public utility. nationalise starlink and add that to the canon too. let its former proprietor blow his brains out with a shotgun

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with VOIP and a new non-RCS-text-over-IP, the entire concept of the telephony network can disappear from the consideration of most people. it’s just the data network now. there’s genuinely no reason to be connected to the mobile network whilst connected to wifi. in the top corner of ur phone, only data bars or wifi bars will be displayed at any one time – and only data bars when on 6G, otherwise a symbol meaning 4G or 5G will replace the bars entirely. a little radio mast perhaps

and yes, the new IP-RCS and its lowfi fork will replace all “text messaging”, with a sort of ip session system that can allow for maintained sessions that can be revoked, allowing for encryption and security. this system is what almost all ‘messaging apps’ interact with. things like whatsapp are just like email browsers, not separate systems entirely – although whatsapp itself is annihilated with an iron fist

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in order to improve regional agricultural self-reliance, ultra-populated areas must ban the cultivation of meat & dairy. it is simply far too inefficient to be permissible in a place where land is an ultra-premium. england, the lower rhine, the atlantic seaboard, guangdong, uttar pradesh. these places simply need to be producing far far more vegetables, grains and beany beans

the forced transition from meat will be a financial burden for many of these farms. support collective farms to make the transition easier, but for farms owned by farmer-landowners, give the parasites nothing except an easier avenue to collectivisation, and amnesty. the standardisation of socialist beliefs can cause extreme cognitive dissonance in the parasite’s brain, as evidenced with the immediate suicide of the starlink proprietor. collectivisation is an offramp for the farmer-landowner, one which all should take to resume work as waged and qualified farmer-managers

with landownership no longer a de facto requisite for a career in agricultural management, agricultural education can expand and begin producing far more farmer-managers (the job previously referred to as “farmers”), enabling professionalisation, modernisation and success

meat still will be farmed in places, but with its cultivation being so inefficient it must be regarded as a luxury in most circumstances. meat-free regions become hotbeds of innovation in non-meat cuisine. yes, even england – the english Bean has been tomatoey for too long and it’s time to innovate

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mass transit is all standardised as free at the point of use. all trolleys, trams, tubes, battbuses and commuter rail are just hop-on-hop-off. don’t scan a card don’t do nothing just get in here and let’s go. infrared cameras (not visual spectrum!) count the number of passengers automatically

intercity and international rail will not be subject to this standardisation – it will be the onus of states to make that free if they want to. heavily tax mediumhaul flights and ban shorthaul flights, except over genuinely impassible terrain. no, navigable water is not impassible terrain

it’s easy peasy lemon squeezy to built a driverless metro these days, but it’s difficult difficult lemon difficult to upgrade an existing one to driverless. so i’ll give them a bit of divine intervention and say that all non-hybrid metro lines are given the capacity to become driverless, should they want. hybrid metro-heavy lines like the new one in london and my theoretical hybrid metro-tram lines are of course exempt and must always have drivers

oh and all rail (both light and heavy) gets those cool elevator-like double doors between u and the carriage. all carriages become compatible

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the Bridge of Rama is BACK !!!!!!

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when rome invaded the germanic tribes’ land, they took the names of their seven days of the week and “translated” them. mars’ day became tyr’s day while venus’ day became frig’s day. jupiter’s day became thor’s day instead of woden’s day, who instead replaced mercury’s day, which always struck me as weird. saturn’s day was apparently untranslatable

anyway. nobody cares about the old gods anymore. the planets are all roman (bar uranus). standardise out the german pantheon in favour of the roman one for use across europe. Monday, Marday, Murcurday, Joveday, Veneday, Saturday, Sunday in english. it’s the seven classical ‘planets’! just in the wrong order

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due to the domestic political situation, most states are probably going to be… busy for a while, and take their eye off global macroeconomics during a deeply critical time. thus it falls to me and my global institutions to make things a little more standardised during the transitional era. i made my bed so i’ll lie in it

next year, 5725, will mark the inauguration of the new un world economic council’s first global Five Year Plan. the three priorities are 1) anti-imperialism for sufficient prosperity, 2) green industry and 3) belt and road

old B&R is sort of superseded with a far more ambitious version with everyone’s support. we need giant heavy highspeed freight trains across the eastern continent: the Silk Railroad from Beijing to Baghdad then Berlin and Cairo, there creating a panafrican rail network key to african industrial development with trains west and south; a Northern Railroad from Berlin to Beijing via Moscow; from Baghdad a Belt Railroad (South) to Karachi then Delhi then Dhaka; and a Belt Railroad (East) from Beijing to HCM City then Bangkok. the Dhaka-Bangkok link to unify the belt would be a decadeslong megaproject that we should of course begin, so before it’s completed we reroute trains going west from SEA going up china to the silk road at Xi’an

baghdad once again becomes the most important city on earth. consider moving the new un there

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all investment banks are nationalised, simple as. but all current & savings banks are mutualised. branchless banks are pulled together as single mutuals – but the larger branched banks move to a guild-and-federation system: your local branch becomes a mutual that federates into a Banking Federation (fed) at the state level

in addition, local mutuals are part of a municipal banking guild. guild-and-fed. branches & guilds servelocal projects and people, feds loan to state projects. the autonomous local mutual bank is designed as one of the many possible systems replacing landlording. it’s a Building Society: local mutuals can give little mortgages to replace private rent – it’s like rent, but every month you’re buying a percent of ur place. u can still contract a building manager, and the guilds organise manager companies with the municipality. mutual mortgages sit alongside municipal renting, or municipal free lodging. options options

the local banking guilds can share employees across feds, allowing them to share the same buildings. post office workers can also serve as guild cashiers, allowing access to a human for anyone who needs it

also, the Open Banking initiative is taken to the next level with federal governments developing a single Bank App using the os dev’s official sdk, plugging into every fed’s systems and allowing u to access all your money in one place. this is also where ur property payments are organised (mortgage/rent, including tax and utility), AND automatically-taxed payslips. it’s all here

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for the larger states of europe that run larger territorial subdivisions of several million people as federations or quasi-federations… the word is province. that’s the standardisation

france and italy’s regions become provinces. germany and austria’s länder become provinces. poland’s województwa become provinces. spain’s autonomous communities become provinces. and when england finishes its current regional reorganisation, they’ll be called provinces rather than “strategic authorities”🤢

places like italy and spain that have a different, smaller thing called provinces will have to give them a different name

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all commercial sports teams must operate a version of the 51% rule: majority ownership must be with the mutually-owned fanclub, but the only permissible investors in the minority are public or quasi-public entities such as municipalities or domestic state funds

ban ban ban the naming of stadia and entire teams after sponsorships. psv and bayer and red bull will have to change. ban shirt sponsorships. ban the building of new massive stadia where a co-ownership situation between several teams is feasible. u don’t need all that

abolish uefa and replace it with a new uef underneath the asian football confederation, because “europe” is really northwest asia innit

and one more thing. the time has come. for a single united unisex federal promotion/relegation european league

we can do it. we have the will. we have the technology

performance in the 2024-25 uefa club competitions unlocks places for the each state (up to a maximum of two) which are then filled by performance in domestic leagues. this is only for the first season, after which promotion/relegation opens up. good luck fuckers

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moreee. euro league two and league three

maximum of 3 teams per state in the top two leagues and maximum of 4 in all three for the first seeded season. in future seasons this cap will be lifted in favour of a system like uefa’s ucl quotas but i can’t be bothered to work out how qualification would actually work bc if i spend another second thinking about football my brain is going to turn into soup

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the turbulent and rapidly-moving situation in north america is a problem for global tech, as incredibly important infrastructure and systems are located there, most of it being privately held and vulnerable. this includes the world’s four main operating systems. there must be intervention to stop global chaos

a big chunk of alphabet is moving to 🇨🇳china, including development of android, which is being renamed Jiqi (机器), short for 机器人, robot. going forward it’ll be considered as fully separate from the rest of linux as the world’s fourth major os. major manufacturers fucking stop doing their own versions of Jiqi. some do, but they’re mainly for specialty products. the code is opening, as are all devices, so you’re free to create or install any Jiqi fork you please. and as a fork of linux, it remains a theoretical possibility for Jiqi to be developed into a full computer os, the shitty little so-called “chromeos” notwithstanding

a big chunk of microslop is moving to 🇮🇳india. unlike Jiqi, however, this is being considered a legacy management project. windows & the NT kernel is being renamed Suryast (सूर्यास्त), sunset, because this shit is being sunsetted. windows is simply too shit to be allowed to continue existing. the source is opening, and the new Suryast team will do their best to keep the world’s infrastructure running smoothly during the transition away from it

it’s a similar case for Darwin, the apple os/kernel. however because of apple’s business strategy of being a jealous shithead over its soft & firmware, Darwin’s ended up being far less integrated into global infrastructure. this means it’s not an imperative to end it. the source is opening, the license is opening, and Darwin can remain in development in a quiet little corner of california

then there’s Linux, a thing also too critical to remain in north america – but unlike microslop, that’s a compliment. by right of dibs, the linux foudation is coming home to 🇪🇺europe. “but doesn’t that say fondation” yeah it’s europe so it’s french “but isn’t french backwards so don’t that say ‘foundation linux’” well see here that’s the thing. the fondation is going to be developing its own official distro, also named Fondation (фондатион). the french and the european governments are keenly interested in linux, and an inhouse all-european Official distro will help them greatly, as it will the consumer transition. most people are needlessly scared of linux, so the mere appearance of a ‘stock’ version will calm them. we’ll be seeing laptops running Fondation appearing on shelves. maybe soon we’ll see a Fondation phone. glory to linux, and its prophet, Fondation

as for the rest of amama, meta is allowed to die and amazon is also allowed to die. womp womp

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no more gift cards. we’re moving to prepayment cards, and giving them the ability to use contactless payments. public spaces can have card printers for u to buy a prepayed card, with cash or with a bank card, and the initial amount will be printed onto it. example:

u can take it back to the public printer and it’ll tell you how much is left on the card. it can also take it and send the money to your bank card (but not give u cash, sorry)

all tracking loyalty systems are banned, meaning the only two ways u can pay for shit is cash or card (card including bank and prepayment). so when u press the pay button at the self-checkout, the contactless activates immediately without u having to select payment type like dam

and for the currency areas that have the 20¢/25¢ interval, that’s being abolished. in europe for example, the only three coins will be 10¢, 50¢ and €1 (€2 also goes). extremely large banknotes also go, such as €200, €100, and €50, leaving europe with only €20, €10, and €5. and the 10¢’s alloy should become bronze-colour and the 50¢ should be replaced with nickel. bronze silver gold innit

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6000 YEARS OF HISTORY

do you like the colour of the world

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improve the connection between the ciliary muscles and the occipital lobe are, so the lobe doesn’t just attempt to focus on targets by just firing its neuronal pathways and praying that the lens works, but actually reads its feedback and adjusts accordingly. if the lens is myopic, the occipital lobe will read the target as still blurry, and continue squeezing until focus is achieved. this will standardise vision as correctly lensed regardless of the myopic or hyperopic status of the lens. apart from astigmatism so uh, all corneas and lenses are standardised as circular. circles yaaay

and aren’t we supposed to be savannah predators? so why the hell do we suck at bright light so bad. the iris muscles are also strengthened, standardising eyes as always being functional even in the bright of noon

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WHILE WE’RE HERE all nostrils are standardised as always open and never doing rhinitis. infective ‘rhinitis’ will cause other immune responses rather than the typical rhinitis symptom response, and because that system is dismantled, allergic rhinitis becomes not a thing neither. no more goo

and the human mouth’s development of plaque is reduced. so many animals have better ways of preventing it than us – dogs so much that they can just have a chewey every so often. humans are standardised as only needing mouthwash or maybe chewing gum, “daily” for ritualisation but in truth it can be every few days

and earwax is abolished. “oh but it fights infections” yeah uuh can the ears fight infections with something less fucken disgusting

and the colon is self-cleaning. thank me later

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the masses have spoken and lo it is to be done, despite this one being kinda a bad idea lmao

the standardised aspect ratio, currently 16:9, becomes an approximation of √2:1, ~4.25:3. this gives it the magical property of being the same ratio again when doubled and halved: halve an A4 and it becomes an A5, unfold your folding phone and it’s the same ratio as before

approximation of course, because √2 is irrational and pixels are finite. i’ll be taking the current formats and extending them upwards so they display fine: 1080p (named for its height) remains 1920 wide and is extended to 1358. 1440 is replaced entirely with two 1920s: 1920 tall, 2716 wide. then 4k (2160x3840) becomes 2716x3840

and yes, it is only an approximation of pythagoras’ ratio, but it’s very close: if you put two 4k screens together and upscale a 4k image to use all 3840 pixels of height, a similarly-upscaled horizontal axis would undershoot the new screen by only three columns of pixels. three pixels across two 4k screens is pretty precise

the upscaling might be a little fucky but tbh this shit’s designed for folding phones and other crazy things. only devices with the computational ability would ever be asked to do this

letterboxes and pillarboxes look like this:

all broadcasts and telly shows must be in √2:1. letterboxing on telly shows to pretend like it’s cinema is a scourge and must be crushed. all new cinema construction must be for tallscreen (like imax), and existing widescreen theatres can do what they can do embiggen themselves upwards and downwards rather than shrink themselves lengthways. film can be shorter than tallscreen, but giant letterboxing is uncommon

in order to broadcast a pillarboxed 1920x1358 image onto a 1920x1080 screen, the downscale will lose approximately 20% of its pixels. whoops

and i’m not saying ‘you must have an A6-sized phone’ or ‘you must have an A3-sized monitor’ or ‘you must have an A2-sized telly’ nonono. this is only the specific ratio: all those things can be any size at all. exceptt for laptops which overwhelmingly approach A4 size across the board, for the sake of fitting in a bag designed for A4 paper. there’s smaller and there’s bigger but A4 is the standard. i love standard

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the ISBN is replaced with the ISPN: International Standard Publication Number. or more accurately, the 13-digit International Article Number system of barcodes is superseded by a new base-34 system

all current ISBNs begin with either the digits 978 or 979, occupying the space of an IAN country code to declare that this is an ISBN (in the country of ‘Bookland’), then two digits for the geographic region (a maximum of 100 regions on earth, so many states have to share), then four for the publisher, three for the individual title (yeah only 1000 books per publisher before they need a new code), and one check digit. they were running out of ISBNs, which is why in 2007 they had to give Bookland a second country code. 979 used to be Musicland, the country code of sheet music, before the Bookland nation attacked. all this has done is doubled the possible number of ISBNs, delaying the problem until later

moving to an alphanumeric system solves this supply issue. instead of 1000 possible country codes, there’s 39304

so for ISPNs, instead of 100 there’s over 1000 two-character region codes (which can become ‘registrar codes’), and instead of 10k there’s over a million meg possible publisher codes per registrar, and instead of 1k there’s now 40k possible ISPNs per publisher, for forty billion gig possible ISPNs per registrar and forty trillion tera in only one of Bookland’s two existing IAN county codes

the reason i’m doing this is because i want everything published to be given a ISPN. sheet music and magazine publications already get them, and some registrars are assigning them for other things. so now everything everything everything everything that can be considered ‘published’ gets an ISPN, from film to telly to game

every edition of a work gets a unique ISBN (hardback, paperback, ebook, audiobook etc) and this principle applies to the expanded ISPN. the individual entries can be collated together, but they are separate. so all the many many rereleases of films get their own ISPNs - the IMAX version gets an ISPN while the general theatric gets an ISPN and the streaming release gets an ISPN. and the dvd gets an ISPN and the bluray gets an ISPN and the 4kbluray gets an ISPN, except for the fact that those are being replaced with USB card video releases, which of course gets an ISPN

there’s an ISPN for each video game release on each storefront, but only retrospectively. going forward it’ll be a platform-by-platform thing, one ISPN for Linux, one ISPN for legacy Suryast etc. all digital storefronts offer the ability to transfer your game by packeting it into a code, letting u give it to a friend or sell it on an open market, or even to a different library system if it offers that game (incl the USB card printing kiosks). you can have multiple copies of the same game on all storefronts. all storefronts must offer a guarantee of transfer should they ever close, like is occurring with the deprecation of the Xbox store as a quasi-automatic migration of its libraries to steam: all existing xbox machines (none new shall be wrought unto this earth, and the Xbox 5 is cancelled) are now considered as running Suryast and can play all steam releases that are Suryast compatible, and u can run all xbox games on steam (forevermore, as windows/xbox -> linux translation is super easy)

it’s your legal rights to do with your libraries what you wish. of course, none of that affects your illegal rights to good old fashioned piracy

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apart form meat which is fr threatened by bacteria, we can use them newly-invented preserver sachets and GMOs and all that to mean that fresh produce no longer needs to be refrigerated to preserve life. everything lasts forever, including many products like sauces and ingredients, and it all can go into cupboards. don’t put the preserver sachet in the compost bin tho u idiot

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nicotine dependence no longer being a thing means it can actually be used as a fr stimulant. people start using it when it’s time to lock in, and it actually locks them in, like it does when a non-dependent does nicotine. except u get get this feeling every time

what i’m saying is: caffeine x nicotine energy drink

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the notion of a distributed social network has been ephemeral for some time now: bluesky exists but it was programmed by a gibbon, mastodon exists but has about as much uptake as beach volleyball in siberia, and even meta threads alludes to using bits of activitypub. it’s a mess. this shit needs some divine intervention

activitypub was genuinely founded by the WWW Consortium true story. its systems need strengthening and, just like linux needs Fondation to enable mass adoption by the leity (in their finite wisdom), activitypub needs more of a frontend system. mastodon/‘fediverse’ and bluesky became part of the same system, the Open Access System, Oasys. not to be confused with ‘the oasis’, the name of the vr thing from the worst book ever written

pretty much all legacy privately held social medias become oasys instances, such as twitter.com.us, instagram.com.us, and tumblr.com.us. the power of oasys systems lets instances behave genuinely very differently from each other, not just like with bluesky’s separated algorithms, allowing for example legacy instagram to be photo-focused and even letting subcommunity-based sites like reddit.com.us function. ‘peertube’ is an attempt at rebuilding youtube on the fediverse, and it merges with youtube to create vidtube upon oasys. maybe, just maybe, the successor to discord could be built in the open access system

being open access u can use whatever app u want to access the oasys. an ‘all’ page would inundate u with pictures from ur friends to public posts from online creators on bsky to ancient retweets from old twitter to news articles from the new RSS (part of oasys!) to videos on vidtube to whatever the fuck tumblr even is. it’s bonkers

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Walk On The Left Stand On The Right is state religion

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close 97% of the golf courses in Scotland. the final 3% shall be allowed to exist as Scottish cultural heritage sites

annihilate 100% of the golf courses everywhere else. and driving ranges, which can be massively shrunk in length and replaced with baseball batting cages. minigolf is given television coverage

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do not. send me a news app notification for a feature article

(or more accurately, with news app systems moving onto the social oasys as a replacement for RSS, separate feature feeds from breaking news alerts and allow each user to customise which they want from each news source)

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the urban doves don’t have disease and aren’t scared of people no more. so u can go up to them and pick them up and scrimble them

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that’s it. i’m deploying the teenagers

all NRMs/HCGs get subjected to the speedrun treatment. the laity realises Wow, What The Fuck and just kinda go home, but the employees and higherups get subjected to the hordes raiding their buildings. scientology, the falun gong, LDS, JW, NOI, christian science, the salvation army, moonies, adventism, evangelism and Word of Faith (among many, many others) all get teenager’d and turned into awesome hangout spots, parkour courses and skate parks

any information the kids find will be given to people’s investigators

hell is made real and populated exclusively by kenneth copeland

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all members of all militaries are forced to apply for a Suicide Exemption Certificate. they may be granted one if their military force is cool enough, when they’ll be allowed to go home with their lives. if not. man overboard amirite

unfortunately militarism is a terrible beast and its tendrils are everywhere. there’s a bunch of shit they’re involved with that they shouldn’t, like logistics, signals technology, lifeguarding and disaster response. so, all soldiers currently doing actually necessary jobs will be granted a Temporary Suicide Exemption until it the role is filled by a civilian. then. bang bang amirite

for all militias, gendarmeries, security forces and police it’ll be done in reverse. they all get to go home and get normal labouring jobs, unless they’re given a Compulsory Suicide Order in which case. officer down amirite

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the division between “the east” and “the west” is politically arbitrary. for, yknow, reasons. but if ‘the west’ can be absolutely annihilated as an entity and concept, then we can redefine what eastness and westness means geographically – namely as the names of earth’s two (and only two) continents

basically ‘the old world’ and ‘the new world’ but less factually inaccurate

the old concept of a continent as a categorical thing is absolutely borked. if you abolish the absolute non-continent of ‘europe’, and consider america and afroeurasia together, then the remaining two ‘continental’ mainlands (australia & antarctica’s australia-sized mainland in its east) are absolutely incomparible in size. there can only be two ‘continents’ if we want that term to be any sort of categorical thing

that ain’t saying we can’t have geographic regions or whatever. north america and south america and africa are quite obviously things even if they aren’t continents. ‘oceania’ is a region, just not a continent, because it is mostly water. and there are plenty of subcontinents too – india, arabia, europe, the SEA mainland, the horn of africa. australia and greenland are big enough to be considered insular subcontinents

[sourcreammachine]

speaking of the arabian subcontinent, just like doggerland i’m reclaiming a bit of the persian gulf

borders between the several arab states are not depicted bc i’m not gonna be arbitrating which states get what

[sourcreammachine]

news publications stay in their fucking patch

like, they can deploy agents across the world to report back home, and they can do jobbing for agencies and wires, but they publish news by and for their patch. no more international anglophonic softpower media titans

imean why the fuck does the Manchester Guardian have an edition in australia don’t make me get the diagram out

[sourcreammachine]

i can’t take this shit anymore !!!!!!

moving forward the categories of ‘monitor’ and ‘telly’ are just replaced with ‘screen’, as due to the replacement of dtv with iptv there’s no meaningful difference between the two any more. and going forward, all screens (by which i mean this new united product category, not literally all screens) are 4k 100hz hdr 10knits minimum, though of course some can be more

we’re going to be treating 8k200 as pretty much the final codec, slowly cresting over the hill. very slowly. so slow we can get away with acting as if it’d be the final codec when it emerges

the screen is an object of dualism. all have computers in them because digital video output requires computation, but there is a strict separation between video output computation and fucken, “smart tv” bullshit. the fr computer in the screen, if it exists, is ringfenced and removable. dualism between output spirit and playback soul

you can really use anything to fuel a screen’s access to iptv, from a removable proprietary chip that came with the telly, to an rπ, to a whole pc or video game console. it’s just a screen. it’s just iptv. you’re in charge

[sourcreammachine]

speaking of witch🧙‍♀️ iptv and vod themselves are moving to a standardised framework. for iptv, that’s a system on top of iptv itself, an organised standardised internationalised system of numbers. input a region code (formerly ‘country code’) and u can access its channels, 033-002 is France Deux, 444-007 is Dave. tv regions can also keep lists of locality codes to allow u to get their specific feeds, 081-013-007 is TV Tokyo, 086-010-011 is CCTV 1 Beijing, 055-551-018 is Globo São Paulo. this is a numbering system on top of iptv itself, however, so u can just input an ip address straight from ur remote and then ur watching literally whatever that ip is broadcasting, from a game stream to a random dawatcher camera to hardcore porn

all public vod is fuelled by a library system built upon activitypub. a peer video identity system, Peevis, combining elements of torrenting to prevent archival failure and media loss. with far more accessible and standardised apis, you can do all sorts of crazy shit to the Peevis system to get its media content presented in your favourite ways, with different frontends and different ways of getting your library content, but typically, it’ll all be unified, with different publishers being no more gated off than different youtube channels, for example. one singular streaming system for multiple publishers

[sourcreammachine]

advertising must be 5 seconds maximum. u don’t get the ability to skip after 5 seconds, all ads must be five seconds max and then they end. and yes, all commercial advertising is banned, so this is all just platform & public messaging. it it cannot be communicated quicker than five seconds it is unworthy of dissemination

[sourcreammachine]

why do we, when speaking languages such as english, reverse some names from cultures that put a family name before a personal name, but not others? like, putting the debate over whether it’s appropriate to do this aside, it’s peculiar to me that it’s done for some cultures and not others. like, yes japan, no china, yes hungary, no ethiopia. like?

so uh. we stop swapping the order of names for everyone. hungarian composer Liszt Ferenc. japanese singer Hatsune Miku. u can cope

[sourcreammachine]

nationalise the gut microbiome

and it’s standardised as being always able to digest anything that any human digestion is able to digest: just like how the immune system can seriously adapt itself to deal with any unique problem, the digestive cells can seriously duck and weave to digest anything that comes their way. they’re maximally effective, always digesting everything to the best of their ability. as they’re staff rather than contract workers, they produce far less gas and waste. just like peepee, the amount of poopoo and fart goes way down. indigestion is a thing of the past

the nationalisation agenda creates the potential for a terrifying new type of disease: much like how autoimmune diseases occur when the immune system is given too long a leash and attacks the body, a similar class of auto-digestive diseases could occur when the new digestive cells literally start eating you instead. so uh, to prevent that terrifying fate, i’m standardising that as impossible. i’m also standardising autoimmune dysfunction as impossible. yay

[sourcreammachine]

so like

with the changes to the data network and voip, the distinction between the ‘phone’ and ‘tablet’ product categories effectively disappears, much like how that between monitor and telly created the product category of ‘screen’. everything’s just varying sizes of iPod Touch. introducing the Pad: 🇫🇷personnel assistant digital

now. all Pads are required to have a minimum of one USB-D at the bottom, in the dead centre. they can of course have more holes down there if they want, but they must have one in the middle. they must also have one dead in the middle at the top

the purpose of this is to make every Pad functional with joycon-like controllers, over USB-D. yes, the NS1 and NS2 and their joycons are changed retrospectively to connect via USB-D. how can a connector that’s thinner than type-c be as structurally secure as a bespoke system of magnets and latches? Your Mother.

the switch firmware is probably the world’s fourth or fifth most-shipped kernel. but as the abundance of emulators proves, translating it is easy as pie. from now on, mutualised nintendo will be a Pad company that sells gaming Pads, Pads designed for gaming, that run linux via a Switch distro. even tho existing ns1 & ns2 software can be translated, the software teams get to work translating the existing library to be native for linux. this is not a difficult task

and yes. the changes to game library systems means that you can move switch games offa the switch library, and onto other libraries. and the nintendo games are sold on other libraries too. and u can put games from other libraries onto the switch and they run fine because linux. and u can run software on ur linux switch. u can do ur taxes on the nintendo switch if ur some sort of lunatic

when both the top and bottom ports are blocked by the controllers, the only way of powering a normal Pad would be via the qi connector on the back. but for gaming Pads, Pads designed for gaming (like the switch, steam deck, rog phone and that nvidia thing), they could have additional usb ports on the long sides as well, like the ns2 has. large Pads (ie tablets) and foldy phones foldy Pads could have these too. this gives you many options for gaming on your foldy:

now this is what we call elite gamer mode

[sourcreammachine]

actually u no what. i’m not giving you the option of migrating your games offa the nintendo library, im forcing u to. the nintendo eshop is deprecated just like the xbox platform was. it’s all migrated into steam, which is becoming a consumer cooperative as the Public InterNet Game Archive System

it’s a comprehensive archive, library platform and .exe delivery system. u don’t need to run Pingas to run the exe, not really. there are various versions of the ‘Pingas’ software, some heavier and some lighter, some that blend totally into the background of your device, and some that have to be run like an old horse. the Fondation distro (the world’s most popular distro, the one sold on store shelves) runs the latter preinstalled - on Fondation, Pingas kinda feels like an app store, until u get the proper fr Pingas ‘app’ yourself

oh yeah and in addition to the new ABXY standard layout, the ingame menu buttons are + and - . i know they were only invented with the nintendo wii but fuck it, that’s the correct goddamn answer and they finally made it there in 2006 5754

and with the release of the switch 2 pro controller, all major game companies were fucking with the concept of rear grip buttons - mostly as alternate mappable paddles, with only valve offering bona fide rear buttons. i want to make two sets of grips mandatory, L4 and L5 and R4 and R5 for everybody. and L2 and R2 are mandated to be analogue. nintendo.

regardless, with the abolition of ‘consoles’ every video game must have a inbuilt, native way to remap its controls. some games won’t have anything assigned to some buttons, particularly the grips, so for them u should be able to map them to whatever. remember pokémon 8? the england one? the shit one? that had a one-handed mode, where the game would streamline some features for only one joycon. it was a cool experiment that didn’t quite work, but nobody really ever tried it again. with the introduction of the two grips buttons, that should make modes like this far easier. i do not understand why i need to be locked the fuck in with two hands on the controller to play a turn-based rpg. it’s just menus. get the camera on auto, get some shit mapped to the grip buttons, and boom now we’re one handed. simple as simple as

[sourcreammachine]

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE !!!!!!

every building on earth gets climate control installed, connected to a fuckin free 100MWh battery. so u should be good for a century

the comprehensive ventilation system pumps oxygen-rich air throughout the building, heat-pumped and hvac’d, filtered, and appropriately humidified or dehumidified

every building feels good to be in, and it doesn’t cost a jbgillion ¤Units to run. it’s cool and free

[sourcreammachine]

THAT’S NOT ENOUGH

i’ve been trying not to do this. but desperate times call for desperate measures. IT’S TOO HOT

every human is given a complementary Adaptive Homeostasis Suit, colloquially known as a “Zero Suit”, to ensure they always remain at a good temperature

it clings directly to the skin, conducting heat in or out as appropriate. sweating is prevented, all moisture and odour is kept inside the body. you can wear the suit literally forever without ever having to wash the skin underneath. so adequate is the cooling system that the skin on the exposed facial area also does not sweat or even redden up to around 30°. if you cover your head, u can survive literally all of earth’s natural temperatures from the top of Dome Argus (-100°) to the bottom of Death Valley (50°). and it doesn’t let a single drop of moisture enter or leave. u don’t feel the moisture. u can survive the coast without becoming gloopy, and u can survive the desert with all ur water kept inside

it’s milimetre-thick, letting u fit it underneath all other clothes, should you wish. this includes shoes, even though the feet of the suit is firm and supported enough that shoes aren’t necessary. the thinness of the suit means that you retain significant tactile sense over where you’re treading, slightly less than with socks but significantly more than with shoes, so get used to that. the other parts of the suit have adaptive firmness, offering support or just going with the flow depending on how you calibrate it. the chest can act as a bra or not, according to preference. but regardless of firmness, it cannot be pierced without tremendous effort – bullets would likely get through (depending), but no human alive could stab you through it. its shock-absorption can prevent any injury from a fall from standing, and prevent fatality from falls as high as about 10m (WILL still hurt)

the suit grips and vibrates on your muscles, ensuring they’re adequately massaged and non-achy. basically, given that humans can’t purr very well we’re offloading that responsibility. this therapeutic effect also aids sleep, rest, and wake

the suit also has powered motion, scalable to preference. it can take the strain for RSI-risking injuries, can power the lifting of heavy objects, and crucially, powers mobility. simply by pushing your muscles slightly, or even just by giving the neural order, the suit can do most the rest of the work. struggling to get up in the morning? up u get babes. walking with it moderately can feel like always having a tailwind, using it strongly can feel like riding a vehicle. it’s power armour except skintight. it’s fun

its smart-tech tracks so many datums u won’t know what to do with any of it, and it all remains on the suit unless u choose to move it. no need for a fitbit. every mattress comes with inbuilt inductive charging to get u powered up every night. it’s customisable with myriad colours and patterns programmable onto it – u can be clocked in in uniform, and chameleon into ur civvie clothes as u leave (it takes a few minutes). it’s repellant to liquid and material so pretty much never has to be cleaned or washed – all stains can be wiped off easily due to its hydrophobic properties. you don’t have to take it off to wash either you or it

oh and it’s sexual as fuck

[sourcreammachine]

the era of the microwave oven has come to a close. welcome to the age of the omnicooker

the microwave form factor (freestanding oblong) is continued forward into the omni era. this box is your airfryer, your grill, your hob and your convection oven. grills at the top, induction hob at the base, and it’s also an airfryer and oven innit

the oven is also just an extremely large omnicooker now. it’s the same thing but big and integrated. if you have an oven, you don’t need a microwave or airfryer anymore. the omni does it all. & remember that the all taps produce boiled water now, so you don’t need an electric or stovetop kettle either

even tho the large ovens have hobs in them now (good for the dishes that u just bung on and forget about, checking in every so often) this is a little inconvenient for the dishes that need constant attention, so ‘portable’ stovetops are more popular now, moreso than inbuilt ones

[sourcreammachine]

[sourcreammachine]

copyright is replaced with necessary attribution - a form of false advertising restriction

u cannot pie off someone’s work and claim it as your own because that is literally, factually not the case. if u print and attempt to sell a copy of Lord of The Rings under your own name, u get stopped. if u print and attempt to sell a copy of LOTR by JRRT, sure go ahead

this is also replacing IP law. u cannot write, print and sell Lord of the Rings 2: Bombadil’s Revenge “by JRR Tolkien”, because no it isn’t, that’s false advertising, u get stopped. but u can flog that book u wrote under your own name without giving “the tolkien estate” a single tencent. although u do have to properly flag it as based offa a work by a different author – not for the sake of maintaining ip control but literally just to avoid the implication that you wrote lord of the rings. and u have to say it’s unauthorised to make sure people know tolkien didn’t give u permission, even tho he can’t bc he’s dead. people might not know that. sorry if u found out this way

[sourcreammachine]

all human skin is standardised as 100% resistant to UV rays whilst being 200% productive of vitamin d, finally giving us the ability to survive in Manchester

[sourcreammachine]

all flies, gnats, wasps, bees, spiders, silverfish, daddy longlegses, moths, and all that bullshit are standardised as having an internal navigation system making them avoid buildings. they will not fucking fly in through your window, and will not enter through ur door unless u let them in. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

[sourcreammachine]

ok so. music notation. it’s actually mostly fine

one of the main barriers that make it so obtuse to newcomers is the tuscan – it’s totally needless! most phrases can be translated into the reader’s language, like piano and allegro and pizzicato. but some jargon can stay as loanwords from tuscan, like crescendo and arpeggio. but if you’re actually tuscan then uh continue on as usual

and yes, despite being raised on a diet of quavers and crotchets and minims and breves, i’ll admit it’s needlessly obtuse. full-note and half-note is good for english

but here’s something controversial: the second part of a time signature is basically a technicality. for the most part we can get by with just saying the top number. two-time. three-time. four-time. five-time. seven-time

[sourcreammachine]

the Xbox 5 is rumoured to be literally just an nt machine with pc architecture, for over €1000. the Playstation 6 is rumoured to be similarly priced. the Steam Machine (‘26) is very literally just a pc in a little box. and the NS2 is the fucken NS2. the “video game console” as a distinct entity is reaching the end of its life

the giant hyper-diverse megacorps of japan and sk are incompatible with new world economics, even if they’re nationalised or mutualised, so break up. adding onto the catastrophic bankruptcies of microsoft and nvidia (and nintendo reconstituting as a Pad manufacturer), the video game hardware industry is euthanised ahead of its inevitable death. YAY!!

…but Means of Production don’t disappear when their owners go bellyup. the chip mills formerly of nvidia, now worker-owned, await clients. the future of chips is a component of the First Global FYP, establishing new common architectures and direction to get the chip economy moving again after its disastrous mismanagement

first and foremost: the Graphics Processing Unit has had its day in the sun. the ongoing rise of its usage for parallel functions is yet more proof that it’s had its day, and it’s really just being used as more CPU. it’s time to bring it back inhouse, into the CPU. maybe we don’t have the technology for this right now, but that’s ok. the first chips we make with this architecture will barely be better than a cpu and gpu separately, but that’s ok. soon they’ll surpass it. they will surpass it. look me in the eyes. this is necessary. this must be done. we must do this. there must only be two fundamental throttles on computer power, the chip and the memory. you are NOT allowed additional computation by getting a better graphics card. the race to the sea is halted. but that’s fine, because the €1000 pricetags were pushing it far beyond normal people for fucking no increase in fidelity. the PS5 had no games

the introduction of the unified chip, and introduction of the Pingas system, means “game console” manufacturing essentially opens up to the floor. they are all just pcs now, as they were becoming anyway. it’s simpler. it’s better

unichip: because gamers don’t deserve it

[sourcreammachine]

states (or federations) run their own labour recruitment systems. linkedin, indeed, cvlibrary, it’s all shut down. it’s a Public system now, plugged into the mandatory state payroll system, using public data to enforce collective bargains, workers’ revenues and equal shares. u are FORCED to list a job and its post-tax wage on this system. this is how we regulate labour

states’ systems can be interlinked, but mainly, if u wanna emigrate and work u go to ur destination’s labour listings

europe runs its own labour system. set the boundary wide enough, and it can suggest a person in lisbon a job in lublin. thanks to language codecs if ur thinking of getting a job in a language area u dont speak, just blitz ur brain out for a week and suddenly спремни сте да кренете у Београд

europe and china run logistics systems to greatly enable the migration of people. in europe this is ELMS

u will be provided a section of a standard rail shipping container to put all ur shit into. it’ll be hauled from the station to ur current address, u fill it full of ur stuff, then it heads off to the station and gets delivered to ur new place, while u get a passenger train. freight rail but for all ur shit

soon, as the First Global FYP continues, the Northern Railroad will connect the european and chinese systems. eventually india and more and more places will be integrated like this. let’s all migrate

also yes ik that’s the current eu commission building in luxembourg, even tho it’s supposed to be moving to strasbourg. shush

[cloudabserk]

just watched an interview with james ortiz (rocky’s puppeteer) where he’s like “they were torturing ryan gosling for this movie. it was killing him. he was developing isolation sickness in real life from being the only actor on set for 6 months. i needed to be there for him even when rocky wasn’t in frame to serve as his guiding light and the sole thread tethering him to the concept of love. i was kneeling at the altar” and what

[estro-boi]

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

[estro-boi]

torrents work like this

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

please learn to torrent

[macleod]

How to Use Torrents (with Pictures) - wikiHow

An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over

always use qbittorrent, do not use bittorrent or utorrent.

[notaplaceofhonour]

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

[notaplaceofhonour]

that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.

[notaplaceofhonour]

I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah

[gnurbot]

Rocky watch crew many days. Crew not wake up.

[sephiramy]

the reason Michael Caine and Tim Curry are so good in their respective Muppet movies is that Michael Caine treats the Muppets as fellow actors, and Tim Curry treats himself as a fellow Muppet

discuss

[crunchbuttsteak]

Tim Curry has seen this post and disagrees with it, sorry OP.

[puppygirllaika]

[otiksimr]

round-let

[otiksimr]

Bing bong.

[bluemuffin-draws]

Dancing (centrifuging) with you

Alt versions