Half Man, Half Biscuit

[all-the-pretty-lightz]

[obliviouslylost]

“I am the girl after your greatest heartbreak, your great love. I am the girl you try to pretend to be good enough; the girl that will never really be enough. I am the girl who picks up the pieces I have no power to break. I am the girl that pretends to be naïve. I am the placeholder, the clean-up crew, the girl after the storm. I know I’m the one after the catastrophe, because I am not capable of being a beautiful disaster. I know my place in your life, you don’t have to deny it just because you don’t want to hurt me, it’s a little too late for that. I am not her. I don’t want to be the one waiting for the storm to end. I don’t want to be the placeholder anymore, I want to be the one. I’m tired of being a hand to hold when yours searches for hers. I am done being someone to fill the void she left every time you miss her, especially when it happens constantly. I deserve more than this. I deserve to be loved the way you love her. So this is my goodbye. And even though it’s a letter addressed to you, it’s also a letter for me, because even though I’m the one leaving, I know I’ll be the one hurting. So when you read this letter, if you ever do, I hope you feel a little heartbreak. I hope you’d give me some sign that at least I still meant something to you, even if it isn’t much. I know I’m not the perfect storm, but I’m just hoping that somehow, I was still a calm drizzle.”

— a. gale, An unsent letter from the girl after the storm to her hurricane

[nicethingsinuglyhandwriting]

I don’t remember lighting this cigarette, and I don’t remember if I’m here alone or waiting for someone // Leonard Cohen.

[aliirq]

The Islamic art and architecture. Imam Hussein shrine in Karbala, Iraq.2015

[guessmyperversion]

In any kind of relationship, you need to be willing to renegotiate. You need to be willing to come back to the table and talk about your needs and your partner’s needs over and over again throughout the years.

Life is long, and there really is never a point when you’re all done figuring things out. Even when you have a system that works, life will change, and you’ll change.

Be willing to put in 100% of the work. Yes, both people need to do their part (and you should be careful of anyone that doesn’t want to put in 100%), but there will be times where you have to do a lot more than your partner. If you just give 50/50 there will be times when everything will fall to shit.

Love isn’t all romance and grand sweeping declarations of love, it’s simply being able to be happy to be with them even when things are going to shit all around. If you find someone who can make you happy, even when the world’s gone to hell, you’ve found love.

[guessmyperversion]

[guessmyperversion]

"A number of porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day in winter; but, as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However the cold drove them together again, when just the same thing happened.

At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distance from one another.

In the same way the need of society drives the human porcupines together, only to be mutually repelled by the many prickly and disagreeable qualities of their nature.

The moderate distance which they at last discover to be the only tolerable condition of intercourse, is the code of politeness and fine manners; and those who transgress it are roughly told—in the English phrase—to keep their distance.

By this arrangement the mutual need of warmth is only very moderately satisfied; but then people do not get pricked.

A man who has some heat in himself prefers to remain outside, where he will neither prick other people nor get pricked himself." - Schopenhauer - Parerga and Paralipomena

[guessmyperversion]

I'm trying to wear my loneliness like armor, but it's seeping into my flesh like rainwater, and it freezes in the spaces where I am weak - expanding, displacing, wedging apart the pieces of me. Sometimes I think if I go much longer without human contact I’ll die, but I can feel myself shattering under the skin and I wonder if the smallest intentional affectionate touch might destroy me entirely.

[husha-bye]

[guessmyperversion]

Loving someone isn't about the warm fuzzies you feel every now and then. Truly loving someone isn't a feeling per se, it's an action. It's a decision to love that person, followed by actions you take to show that love.

[guessmyperversion]

[guessmyperversion]

At the root of all anger is a violated expectation. Identify that expectation and you can understand your anger, align that expectation with the real and you can eliminate it. This isn't to say you can't change something you dislike, by all means do, but it will take time for that change to occur. Expect that.

[guessmyperversion]

You're letting your happiness be determined by something you have very little or no control over. If you keep doing that, you'll keep being disappointed

[guessmyperversion]

"Overeating is the addiction of choice of carers, and that's why it's come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all the addictions. It's a way of fucking yourself up while still remaining fully functional, because you have to. Fat people aren't indulging in the "luxury" of their addiction making them useless, chaotic, or a burden. Instead, they are slowly self-destructing in a way that doesn't inconvenience anyone. And that's why it's so often a woman's addiction of choice. All the quietly eating mums. All the KitKats in office drawers. All the unhappy moments, late at night, caught in only the fridge light." from How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran,

[guessmyperversion]

I would say find a good way to process your problems. Don't just suppress them! Think about it, try to understand what happened, how you reacted to it, and how you feel about it. Process it outside of your mind as well, write it down, talk about it. It can make all the difference compared to just keeping it inside your head. Try to understand your emotions. When you are feeling emotional, ask yourself what exactly happened that made you feel that way, ask yourself why it made you feel this way. Understanding where your emotions came from, and maybe also what their functions are, can make it easier to deal with them.

[guessmyperversion]

Honesty is incredibly important to relationships. Especially at the end, when you have to let that person go. It's the hardest thing to do, but you have to make everything absolutely clear, so they don't spend months or years hanging on to a lie.

[guessmyperversion]

Be kinder to yourself. Set the same expectations for yourself as you do for other people. Too often we judge ourselves harsher than the rest of the world, and it ends up making us anxious and/or depressed because we never feel accomplished. Pat yourself on the back. If you do something, anything, that is hard for you, give yourself credit for having done it. Doesn't matter if all you did was get out bed. If it was hard, be proud. Validate yourself. Remind yourself why you are supposed to feel the way you do. Even if your problems don't seem as big as someone else's, they matter to you and you're supposed to feel things. But once you acknowledge you feel something, take care of that feeling. Don't try to shoo the feeling away. It needs to be cared for. Find someone you can talk to. If there are people who seem genuinely concerned about you as a person, start sharing small details about your feelings and see if they show they are good listeners. If you don't have people you think show concern, ask yourself whether you think you know where to find them. If you don't know where to find them, or don't feel ready to take that step, find a therapist to be this person until you can find more people in your life to fit the bill.