Sunnyyyyy I'm drunk and I need to know which HQ dudes think you're such a sex goddess that they brag about you to their friends and even offer to give them a demonstration or trial just to prove his word.
Ily and Im so happy you're back - my bf has been giving me weird looks all day for wheezing over your messages and I had to explain that my true love has returned from the war
hELP i hope you’re sober now to read this SKSJSK ily hoe
warnings: 18+, minors dni, f!reader, objectification
he’s so enthusiastic about you, just wants to share how amazing you are to anyone who’ll listen, gets a little carried with locker-room talk sometimes but it’s all with pure intentions, promise.
hinata stares at bokuto with wide eyes even though he’s blushing down to the very roots of his hairs, and stammers out his question. “you’ve...you’ve actually passed out? while...”
bokuto nods, big frame vibrating just thinking about it. “yeah.”
“it...she...she tastes that good?”
“did...did you forget to breathe or something?”
bokuto just looks at hinata gravely. perhaps the ginger would never truly understand. maybe he would need to let hinata experience it for himself sometime. because when it comes to burying his face between your thighs and getting drunk on your pussy, oxygen is really just an afterthought. “...yeah.”
he’s the absolute worst, just subjects his closest friends to all the sordid details about your sex life and for all his intelligence, is pretty careless about where and when he does it.
you’re not even sure how to begin murdering your boyfriend. perhaps kenma would help you hide the body.
kuroo’s standing on the other side of the couch, eyeing you as you glare at him furiously. “now just...angel, just calm down for a bit, okay, and let me explain...”
“i can’t-” you fume, grabbing a throw pillow and flinging it at his stupid face. “i can’t believe you would say those things. and to kenma?!”
“it’s only because you make me feel so good, it was an accident- wait- ouch, i swear- i just couldn’t help myse-”
shameless, absolutely shameless about it- will talk about you to anyone with ears, but his descriptions are always so vivid that his victims usually find it difficult to look you in the eye after.
“toshi!” you greet him with a big smile, unlinking your arm from tendou’s to reach forward for a hug that he returns stiffly. you’re pressing up to him like this and he really tries not to look, he does, but curiosity gets the best of him and he ends up casting his gaze downward anyway.
they’re sensitive, ushijima remembers his friend’s words with frightening clarity. soft and warm and squeezable, and he’s really trying to think respectful thoughts but all he can focus on is how tendou had grinned and winked at him and said, “i can cum just by fucking them.”
when ushijima’s finally able to extricate himself from your grip, he tries not to think about the very last piece of tendou’s spiel. the part about how if he wanted to...try fucking your tits for himself...feel what it’s like...tendou would be more than glad to share. and that you wouldn’t mind at all.
it’s just so frustrating when none of them believe a word he says about you and he’s usually tipsy when he’s doing it, so one day when he’s in the middle of defending you wholeheartedly, the offer just kind of...slips out.
“m’not lying,” koganegawa whines, “she’s really just that...tight- that’s the word i was looking for...just s...s’fucking hot ‘n amazing....and god, the way she clenches...” he trails off when he thinks about it- the sight of you gasping and squirming under him, tight cunt struggling to accommodate the sheer size of his length.
“or maybe,” tsukishima interjects snidely, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “you just can’t last.”
koganegawa’s cheeks flush an angry red and he shoots to his feet. he points challengingly at tsukishima, then at kyoutani, who looks like he’d rather die than be here.
“then try her yourself ‘n see! tomorrow, my place, ten o’clock. bet you wouldn’t last either!”
doesn’t do it excessively, only on a need-to-know basis. he’s always so smug about it too, because he knows that out of all his friends, he has it best. which is why dangling the idea of them having a taste of you usually comes out as a taunt.
“c’mon,” hanamaki drawls, “all we’re saying is that it must suck to be you- no pun intended. we’ve seen you in the showers. no way it fits.”
a smirk curling up on matsukawa’s lips as his friends dive into a thorough discussion about how dreadful of a life he must lead, to not know what a good blowjob feels like. he humors them for a few moments before chuckling, “oh...it fits.”
iwaizumi frowns. “and...she’s okay? she doesn’t choke?”
“oh, she chokes. but that’s the best part,” matsukawa grins at iwaizumi’s surprised expression, thinking about the way your pretty lips stretch so wide around him, nose pressed into curly hairs at the base of his cock. “hums too. hums and swallows and moans and shit, feels just as good as her pussy.”
the ensuing silence prompts matsukawa to smirk proudly. “happy to give a demonstration, maybe a free trial too...if i fit, i’m sure you all would too.”