somersault @hazelwiddecombe - Tumblr Blog

charlvttes‌:

charlotte gave a small smile at the nora ephron comment – but still she really wanted hazel to get what she wanted instead of just waiting for something to happen. for all of the times that the two had gushed about wanting to fall in love and get married, charlotte was the only one of the pair who pursued it. and yeah, sometimes it hurt and sometimes it ended badly. but god, she wanted hazel to experience love so badly. all of the highs and lows, all of the fights and making up, it’s what she deserved. “okay, tinder isn’t always the best option but it’s still important to put yourself out there. and plus, even if you don’t need the one, there’s no shame in dating for fun, right?”

“i’ve been on dates,” she insisted in her own defense, which was technically the truth... but of course she had been on exactly one date b.i. (before ivan) and one after. the first one was best described as disastrous all around and even though she’d thought the other one had actually gone pretty well, hazel was eventually ghosted. that one still kind of hurt. hazel groaned at charlotte’s insistence, “i guess... but everyone says they just get unsolicited dick pics all the time. that’s not very nora ephron or cinderella.” she scrunched up her nose at the idea... cindy had shown her more than enough of her collection. “my mom keeps trying to get me on christian mingle or whatever, and i honestly don’t know what sounds less appealing at this point.”

#int ( charlotte gregison )

rileyyxkim‌:

Riley swayed from side to side, growing a little impatient. He’d agreed to meet Hazel at the entrance of the building but he’d been waiting a while with no sign of the girl. Pulling out his phone, he frowned at the lack of response. When he’d given up spamming her, he’d called and it immediately went to voicemail. Okay wow so she was really gonna play him like this. Pocketing the device, he started to wonder if she’d forgotten or he’d been stood up. Well, at least he was inside or he’d be infinitely more irritated. Not that she wouldn’t be hearing about it when he did eventually find her. And he would find her. Riley was really about to give up when Hazel entered the building, “Well, about damn time!” Riley yelled back, throwing his arms dramatically, “What do you mean what am I doing in here? I was waiting for you. If you answered your phone you’d know that. Like damn really made me wait 20 minutes.” Looking around at his surroundings Riley returned his gaze to Hazel and crossed his arms, “… Uh no duh? This is the entrance? There is literally only one door into this building what are you even saying right now.”

Hazel also threw her arms out in sheer disbelief that he was actually giving her that attitude. “I was waiting for you!” she rebutted, entirely convinced that she was in the right. She was always on time, always. Besides, as much as she absolutely adored Riley, she wasn’t sure she’d put it past him to forget about their plans and then try to pin it on her. “And I totally tried to call you but my phone is dead,” she told him, fishing it out of her pocket to demonstrate that it was in fact completely unresponsive... not that she was expecting him not to believe her. If anyone knew how poorly she managed her phone, it was definitely him.

It should have been incredible that they were actually debating what ‘waiting by the entrance’ meant but with her and Riley? It honestly wasn’t. “Um, no,” she told him, staring at him like he was some kind of alien. "This is the foyer entrance. The actual entrance obviously refers to the vestibule, which I just had to walk all the way through before I found you.”

#the 'he would find her' part made me read the rest of this in liam neeson's voice #truly blessed on this day #int ( riley kim )

ayliemonroe‌:

𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 // @hazelwiddecombe

“one time, my dad asked if i wanted to go backstage to meet the jonas brothers and i was so scared that ryder was going to embarrass me in front of joe that i faked being sick.” aylie recalled as she shoved a piece of fruit into her mouth while sitting on the couch of their suite at the ritz carlton in denver. “and i feel like i’ve let it ruin my chance at ever becoming a jonas sister so i will never forgive him. i could have been in all of their new music videos.” she looked over at the blonde who was entertaining aylie by listening to her rant - definitely an outcome of being in the car for a few hours. “but that is neither here nor there, are you excited for our annual pre-valentine’s day ayzel extravaganza?” she asked excitedly, spreading her arms wide as she showed off the suite with a bright smile.

“aww, i love starstruck aylie the most,” she told her with a chuckle, “also you’re a better sister than i am, if it was us, i would probably have told my dad that jacob or ben got sick. but it’s okay, maybe one day fate will set it all straight again.” what was ayzel time for if not to make up unrealistic scenarios for their future? their pre-valentine’s getaway was one of hazel’s favorite traditions of the entire year – and that was truly saying something, considering how hazel had something up her sleeve for even the minor holidays. “i’m pretty much as ready as i can be, unless we were supposed to get like, matching t-shirts or something,” she joked, throwing herself back on the couch. truly the life. “maybe next year we can fly to london and i can charm everyone with my american accent... that works both ways, right?”

#int ( aylie monroe )

leotakanashi‌:

leo only shrugged in response. hey, it was still a plausible suggestion. but! even if garfield attempted to vore cal, he was still too fat to be eaten, so maybe it was not as plausible as he initially thought. “yeah, it’s in my room… why? what are you gonna do with it?”

“i just want to spy on them so we don’t have to sit here and stare at them. like, maybe they’re just shy,” she explained, getting back on her feet after sitting on the floor for far too long trying to shove the two animals together. “... or maybe they’re just being stubborn because we’re here. my only dream is to give cal a little cowboy hat and ride into the sunset on garfield’s back, but apparently that is too much to ask.”

#thanks for bringing up vore i really appreciate it #int ( leo takanashi )

junecosta‌:

“i kinda like his hair,” june admitted, tucking a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear sheepishly. unfortunately, she hasn’t had enough experience to know what it felt like stealing your significant other’s clothes—but damn, wouldn’t it be nice to have that someday. “we need to print more photos. of paul and noel.”

“i’m gonna print some at work,” she announced because what else was she supposed to do all day? the entire resort was already pretty much booked out, which meant it was busy basically everywhere other than reservations. she was already spending most of her work hours catching up on leo’s youtube videos. “maybe our baking skills will improve.” okay, when she said their baking skills, she really meant june’s but that wasn’t very kind. “i mean like, if the godfather of baking is watching over us at all times... is that blasphemous?”

#int ( june costa )

myvirtuesuncounted‌:

“i used to go to this bar back in new york all the time, and i always saw this guy in there drinking what looked like a super fruity drink.” vic said, prepping hazel’s usual drink, “and i finally watched the bartender make it once and it was literally just like, basically hi-c fruit punch. no booze.” she chuckled, passing hazel’s drink over and popping a lemon slice onto the top of the cup before shrugging. “it’s still early.”

“did you ever talk to him? was he cute?” she asked as she reached for her cocktail, imagining who that guy had been. sometimes she truly felt like she was the only person in the world who didn’t ever drink, even though she knew very well that it wasn’t true. thank the lord. “i probably shouldn’t be rooting for you to fight someone,” hazel said with a wry smile, “but some of our guests really deserve it, and i can’t really do it so somebody else has to step up.”

#int ( victoria drake )

@calliefm

“okay, so you’re in charge of the actual noodles,” she told callie, not quite trusting her with the combination of knives and vegetables. hazel was feeling right at home, and it made sense. by her own estimate, she had been to the macdermots’ house about a thousand times in her life. usually it was because their parents were getting together, but it had never been particularly difficult to drag hazel with them. this time it was just her and she was only there to hang out with callie... well, her and gunner but she had to love him at a greater distance. “oh also, i brought your son some treats so he wouldn’t feel left out. i wasn’t sure if he liked noodles.”

#int ( callie macdermot )

hazel has literally 30+ cousins so... decided to keep it to just the immediate family.

ft. @ayliemonroe + @surejo + @leotakanashi

#bigbeartask3 #i... felt weird about picking fcs for babies so #this is like half blank #can u tell i recently read a post that was like 'who cares abt YOUR sign what astrological nightmare were you raised in??'

charlvttes‌:

charlotte rolled her eyes, albeit a little playfully. she was trying to convince hazel to get tinder every other weekend it seemed like. the other was always fantasizing about falling in love, much like charlotte was doing often as well, but never actually put herself out there. she knew that hazel was a little more shy than she was, but she still thought that she should give it a shot. “come on, haze, you’re never going to find your prince charming if you keep yourself locked away in a castle,” she mused. “you have to go out and find him. and tinder is like…the rats! it’s like the rats from cinderella who will help you and lead you to prince charming.” charlotte smirked to herself a bit, i mean, who could argue with that logic?

the cinderella comparison made hazel laugh, it was such a charlotte thing to say. it almost made sense too, except that hazel wasn’t sure she’d trust rats to make her a dress either. “i think i’m more like, nora ephron than fairy tale,” she argued, although she knew very well that the other blonde was right. after all, did she know anyone who had just gotten married without dating around first? well okay, she actually did... but she knew those people from temple and their relationships all looked more like a chore. it wasn’t exactly what she had envisioned for herself. maybe she was just more of a goldilocks than a cinderella. “also honestly charlotte... has tinder actually worked for you? or like, anyone we know?”

#int ( charlotte gregison )

leotakanashi‌:

leo watched the difficult interaction from afar, feeling slight pity for his pet rat. cal looked just as hesitant, mostly thinking that garfield was going to fucking eat him alive or whatever—ah, if only he could speak rat. “maybe if we leave them alone,” he suggested, trudging closer to the tiny playpen that he and hazel had built a week ago, “they can, like, hang out or smoke weed together without us prying on them or something.”

“leo, we’re not playing good mom/bad mom right now,” she told him but she couldn’t keep a straight face at the mental image of garfield and cal sharing a joint. for a moment she debated with herself whether leaving the two of them alone would make the situation better or worse. she was pretty sure they weren’t going to eat each other but... could never be too sure. “hey, do you have your like, gopro or whatever?”

#leo's dramatic face cracks me up #can't believe you don't have rat gifs #get on my level :/#int ( leo takanashi )

junecosta‌:

june enjoyed quiet nights with hazel—she always looked forward to coming home after a long day and spending the rest of the evening hanging out in silence, so the sudden question threw her off. “is it the hair?” she mused, squinting at her roommate and her questionable taste. “i do think paul is rather dashing, though,” june said, emphasising the last word with an exaggerated british accent. “let’s make a hybrid shrine.”

“i mean the hair is... questionable yet somehow sexy. but i think it’s mostly just the shirts,” she pondered, backtracking just a little bit because june was looking at her funny. “like, one of the biggest perks of dating someone is stealing their clothes, and he’s just all looks.” hazel was pretty sure that was the one of the strongest arguments she had ever made in her life. when june counter-suggested a hybrid shrine, hazel nodded emphatically, “oh we gotta. first thing tomorrow. we can start storing our bread on it in paul’s honor.”

#int ( june costa )

𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 — callie ballie 💖

CALLIE: i lit rally have no idea but

CALLIE: its better than the beauty community's drama if i can say so for myself

CALLIE: fuk now i want black bean noodles

HAZEL: ... ok same

HAZEL: should i come over?

HAZEL: i'll cook for you bby 💖

#txt ( callie macdermot )#i hate u now i want noodles too :/

@leotakanashi

“do you think cal and garfield will ever actually want to be friends?” hazel asked leo, brows furrowed as she tried to steer the reluctant tortoise toward his would-be rat friend. forcing their pets to play together had proven to be easier said than done. she wasn’t even sure what attempt they were on, but the determination was still strong. “they’re like, cousins. they could at least try to get along," she paused and grimaced at her own words, “i sound like my mom.”

#idk i made this dumb gif and i really wanted to use it #int ( leo takanashi )

@charlvttes

“for the last time i’m not getting tinder,” she told charlotte, not that it felt much more likely to stick than it had the first few dozen times. it had pretty much become a running gag between them, and hazel wasn’t completely offended by the suggestion... only a little bit. maybe it made sense to some people that you could get pizza and dates following basically the same steps, but hazel found that entire concept mildly disturbing. “i need one of those ‘wow i can’t believe they were in front of me the whole time’ situations... or at least i can meet someone in the real world. i’m not telling my grandchildren that they exist because of an app.”

#int ( charlotte gregison )

@junecosta

"hey bug, is it weird to have a crush on noel fielding?” she asked mostly rhetorically. after all she’d already dated one flamboyant peacock of a man, so surely it wasn’t that much of a leap. hazel was so many great british bake-off episodes deep that she had honestly lost count. the only things that existed in the universe were cakes and bright sweaters. “maybe i’ve been at this too long but i feel like we should frame a picture of him in the kitchen. or paul. or both.”

#int ( june costa )

@rileyyxkim

Okay, fine – maybe Riley had a point that she was too hard to get in touch with. She’d had plenty of time to think about that, having already spent 15 minutes waiting for him out in the cold with a dead phone battery. It was becoming increasingly obvious that she should have just popped into her office to charge it, but he’d for sure walk out to meet her as soon as she left her spot. That was the kind of luck that seemed to follow Hazel in that type of situation. She wasn’t sure if she was more irritated that he was late, or that he was (intentionally or not) proving his point about her phone irresponsibility.

Finally she decided that he was not coming after all, and the right move was to head inside and revive her phone. If nothing else, it’d save her the hassle of driving to his place to yell at him. Of course she only just made it inside before she saw him. “What are you doing in here?” she asked loudly as she sped across the foyer to get to Riley, “I thought we were gonna meet at the entrance.”

#int ( riley kim )#i s2g 80% of their conflicts stem from hazel not answering her phone

charlvttes‌:

“ i love the sound of that. hazel gregison. it just kind of rolls off the tongue doesn’t it ? ” charlotte scrunched her nose as she smiled. she felt like she was floating on a cloud. she had been waiting so long for prince charming to come in and sweep her off her feet, meanwhile hazel had been there right in front of her the entire time. “ charlotte widdecombe sounds perfect. ” while her mother had never taken her father’s last name, because she thought it was a way the patriarchy was holding women back, charlotte always dreamed of meeting the one and taking their last name.

“ well they always say save the best for last, right ? so gregison-widdecombes. ” she felt hazel’s hand embrace hers and she would be remiss if she didn’t notice how soft and safe the other’s hand felt in hers. her feet left the ground so quickly, she felt like she was flying. she was out of breath by the time they reached their destination, wanting to get there as fast as possible. “ you ready to do this, soon-to-be mrs. gregison-widdecombe ? ”

“it does, doesn’t it? i’d definitely want to send a wedding gift to hazel gregison,” she joked, beaming back at charlotte. was it a little odd how they’d gone from completely platonic to actually getting married? sure, but somehow it just felt right. even if hazel suspected the butterflies in her stomach were more about the idea of the wedding rather than actually about charlotte... she was excited, and honestly she truly couldn’t think of anyone she’d rather tie the knot with. charlotte understood her. “charlotte widdecombe also deserves presents. she sounds beautiful.”

“stop it, gregison is way more interesting. but i’m okay with having it first, people will say it more,” she agreed, happy with the way their completely different logics somehow meshed to create the same result. maybe charlotte really was her actual soulmate. “i’ve never been more ready for anything ever,” she replied, completely truthfully, as she turned to look at her almost wife. “let’s spend our lives together.“

#au week ( sloth in paradise )#int ( charlotte gregison )

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